Sunday

8:58 AM
It’s Sunday.

Sunday morning. I know. And I wish I had cigarettes kind of

But I don’t.

I’m probably just not going to bother with getting any more. Hey, it’s Easter Sunday, right?

Yeah, I posted a picture. I got an Easter thing, Friday from this chick at work.

Must have turned wrong or something. Oh, I kinked something up in my back. It’s not a big deal though.

Probably laying around as much as I have.

Uh,

God, yeah, I’m drinking.

I said I am but yeah I am I don’t know.

Having a body is a weird thing. Kind of, ain’t it?

Yeah.

You know, right now it’s just like me in a room. But there’s other rooms and there’s other people and there’s other houses and there’s

Everywhere.

Yeah.

It’s really funny how different my life is compared to like how I thought it would be when I was younger and you are so impressionable, you know, when you’re young and everything. It’s just like the whole world is right there, but it’s not, it’s just a little piece of it, it’s just Tiny little speck.

I thought my parents and my sister and my grandmother and my cousins up the road. My aunt and my uncle that was like the most important people in the whole world and then all those Crazy kids. I went to school with. I thought that was the whole, you know, universe.

I’m from a very, very small place. It’s really funny.

And then, you know, as I get older or grow up or whatever, it’s like it was just like a process of figuring out that The world was really really different than what I thought growing up.

I still haven’t adjusted. I don’t think I ever will. Yeah, I’m just weird forever.

I don’t ever talk to my dad anymore. He’s not an active part of my life because he doesn’t want to be because he’s an asshole. And like I just don’t feel like I have a sister anymore and like, really, she was we used to be really close.

I don’t know, it’s just crazy.

I think I’ve mentioned that before in a post though it’s like sometimes it does, is it just all hits me? It’s like damn. I never thought I’d live in Huntsville, but here I am. I work here, too.

If I had a car, I might actually get out more but I don’t.

Thought about working on some music, but I just haven’t felt like it. Just haven’t felt like doing anything outside of this blog and Never winter nights.

Yeah. Like that’s been like my 2 Biggest creative Outlets the last couple of months.

And it has it’s been fucking 2 months since my mom died. And that really bothers me. It still does

It still really bothers me this time. Last year I was working at the chicken plant.

And uh,

Gosh, you know, I did my best.

I would get paid and come home and I would bring like, I would buy, you know, lasagna stuff big, those big stouffers things you know, the brand Whatever and uh they had the chicken enchiladas too.

I would bring those in. And make them for Mom and me. And uh,

I don’t know, I always made sure. Mom had a lot of Delicious. Hot food to eat and my sister didn’t do that.

I don’t know, it just

It wasn’t really anything. Anybody could do it was it just sucks.

Gosh, last year. Sure was crazy.

I wonder what the future holds. I wonder when I’m going to get a car and what kind of car it’s going to be and

It’s really funny, you know, like I had the whole I don’t want to talk about it. I was going to start going off about like, oh will I ever find love again but it’s not Normal for me. I don’t get to just like, go out and meet people and

Date and do all that shit. I never.

It’s just something. I’ve I just don’t get to do and it’s fine. But then how the hell am I supposed to? You know.

On 1 Hand That Matters on the other hand, it doesn’t Sometimes it matters. Sometimes it doesn’t.

What does that even mean? I guess it does matter a little bit, right? Yeah. Overall if you average the 2 extremes, haha

It kind of does.

I don’t know. I’m about ready to pass out again.

And it’s good because I have to sleep.

Late.

So, I can stay up all night. Yeah. And of course, it’ll get all retarded. But then I’m on night shift. For a month.

Dang.

Thank you, please.