1:10 PM
Well, I did my chores. Yep.
And it did only take about 20 minutes. I usually space it out though. After I mop the floors, I’m just like I do nothing until I figure. They’re dry. And then I um clean the bathroom and the shower, it’s not hard.
20 minutes total. I’m washing clothes right now all my work shirts. And pants and my hat. I have a hat. I wear a hat.
I need a haircut. I was going to shave my beard, but
Yeah, I need a haircut. I think I mentioned that in another post.
What else can I talk about? I’m uh I’m really just killing some time before. My clothes are finished washing, so I can dry them.
And that way I can like take a nap or something.
I could eat. Some soup. And Bowl some eggs. Haha Boil some eggs.
1 of my roommates friends is here doing a garden and I think she was here was it last week? For a minute, like checking on the cats. Or something. It wasn’t the 1. Who I walked down stairs on. Oh my God. Yeah, I’m not going to talk about that. Um anyways.
Haha I said uh, anyway, she was out there. I had took my garbage out And she was out there doing stuff and I was like, it smells smells like dirt out here, she just She probably thinks I’m stupid. I don’t know. I just went back in the house. I was like, Have fun, you know.
I ate a bunch of oatmeal.
I don’t think it’s been an hour ago. It hasn’t? Yeah, it hasn’t been an hour.
I don’t think. That’s probably why I’m not hungry. Yeah, I’m like why am I not hungry? I have a sandwiches. I have Ramen and I have these other soups. I bought chili. I got all this crap.
And, you know, it’s funny, I’m going to have to go back to the grocery store like probably Saturday or something. The last time I was on nights, it was only for a week. Um because I just started and that was excruciating because I can’t uh I have to wait on my roommate because she can’t see that well at night. So I have to wait for her. Uh, wait for it to get a little more light out.
Yeah.
For her to come, get me and it’s not as bad as it was. I think it starts getting daylight now around 5:30 or something so that won’t be so bad. But you know, I was getting off work at 3:45 And having to wait on her until like 6:30 or something, and that was hard. But this week will probably be you know, it’ll probably be better now and I can go to the gym and all this stuff. Oh yeah. That’s right. There’s a gym.
And this at this job too, but it’s not like the second car factory.
All that stuff’s in my other blog. It’s really sad. You know. And,
I’ve mentioned that I think in this blog that I have a twin flame and she still pecks on my stuff, like she did this morning on my other blog at like, 3:00 a.m. or something 2 or 3 a.m. I can’t remember the stuff is offset. I think it’s um,
Eastern Time or something, I don’t know. If I paid more money, I could see the towns that people looked at my stuff from Yeah, but I just can’t message her. I want to, I want to be like because I want a girlfriend, you know, and she’s my twin flame, I don’t know. It was so crazy and I was just like I just can’t because of all the mean stuff she did. Like she can message me and we can start all over from that point. But me messaging, her After all. Oh my goodness, I just can’t It’s like,
Do I really well? I mean what’s she going to do? Is she going to be mean to me again? I mean, what the heck? I really can’t. I don’t have the I just don’t have it in me right now to go off about it because well, I’ve tried to I’ve been trying to get past it.
And I have in a lot of ways, but hell, she’s always. I mean, she exists, you know,
I’ve got a big pile of her stuff right here on my desk that she left around the apartment complex. When I lived in Albertville,
And the Valentine’s Day Bear, I was going to give to her.
2 years ago, and
She was messing with my head so bad, it sucked. It really did. I’ve never had a chick mess with me like that and it have the effect it did.
I needed somebody to be nice to me and that’s all it really amounted to and it’s not like that was a conscious fucking thing. I couldn’t handle being messed with like she did and
I don’t think she understood what she was doing to me, and that I wasn’t being an asshole. I was really that screwed up and it sucks.
And I tried to like, tell her that
I don’t think there’s, you know, none of this makes a lot of sense to me. So the only thing I know to do is to just kind of focus on my own stupid crap. And, uh, You know, if I find A special lady. Who isn’t her? I mean, sorry. But, you know, I’m not the only person who’s had to deal with this.
I have a couple of friends. 1 of my friends is a twin flame Chaser, she’s from uh the country of Georgia.
And I haven’t talked to her that much lately about it. I probably should I probably should just message her, you know, and just be like, hey,
But what really scared me was all the messing with my head and the games and stuff. It’s like I can’t
I just can’t. Yeah, and it actually makes me feel really sad to think about it.
But my clothes ought to be ready here pretty soon.
I’m just not that hungry. Oh man, I ate 3, big packs of oatmeal with uh it’s got the raisins and the dates and the walnuts in it. And what else? Oh my goodness. Um, I put peanut butter in it like a lot and honey. Yep, and that’s like it’s so delicious.
Probably 1 of the most, delicious things I eat.
But hopefully, I can get my clothes in the dryer. And, And get about a fucking
Couple of hours nap or something. Yeah.
Talk about Nostalgia and everything. This time of year, you know, I have a lot of nostalgia from the second car factory. And because I worked there for a year. And a month. Yep, and it’s been almost 2 years now like
This month’s almost over time, just Zips away. It’s really.
My perspective on life and human existence has changed so much the last few years.
Especially you know the all I wanted to do was get my shit together you know and get my kids for adventures and have a fucking like A girlfriend or something, again, eventually a wife. I mean, I’m not that complicated.
You know, I’ve got all my music and art and stuff.
And it just, um,
I just haven’t been, I haven’t felt like messing with it. But my point though, is that like that’s always going to be there, you know?
But that’s what I wanted. I wanted like To get, uh, some land. I was trying to get my credit built back up. And get, uh, which is so fucked up right now, especially because of the repossession. Um, that, uh, You know, but anyways, that’s what I was wanting to do and get some land. I mean it’s like an acre. Yeah, or something, and get 1 of those buildings. And fix it up, you know.
Not a lot of, I don’t need a lot of space and uh, fucking just
You know, live.
I miss my kids all the time. It’s not
Fair.
Is a word. I don’t know what else to call it. It’s like, what the fuck.
And all that got blown up because of the Twin Flame chick, the whole thing, really? I mean, she played a pretty active role in messing with me. Yeah, it sucked. And I just don’t think I still don’t think she realized.
I don’t know.
But,
If I ever felt, you know, like I thought I felt all broken and worthless after the divorce and then more again after things went to shit with my ex fiance
Man, I was really just like It was really bad after, you know, I ended up having a nervous breakdown and leaving that job.
And it has and I am. I’m so tired. I’m like, God, I’ve just got to pull myself together. Again. It’s even worse now. And it’s like
That’s 1 of the reasons, I stayed drunk all weekend. It’s like, you know,
I don’t actively want to die anymore and I did for a long time. But it’s like shit. How much longer am I going to be here? Anyways. And what the hell? Am I even going to be able to do?
You know.
It’s never been about what I wanted. Otherwise, you know, my life would be very, very different.
But it’s not that I’m sad right now. I wish I had a car obviously. Um, you know, or anything like that. It’s just like dang.
I’m tired.
And not just like tired, like, oh, you know, I’ve had a long day or something, tired or I’m sleepy. Or anything like that, it’s like
My soul is tired. Isn’t that? Doesn’t that sound dumb? Yeah. But it is, this is it. I don’t know.
I gotta.
I’ve got to check on my clothes. Yeah, this is really I’m just killing time So that I think it had 20 something minutes left. Um, the last time I checked, I just got to put them in the dryer. It’s all my work clothes.
Yeah.
If I ate something though, you know, and I fell asleep. I have sandwich stuff.
And did I buy that shit. Wednesday? Did I did I get that stuff Wednesday. This, when I got those cookies.
Yeah.
It was.
And now I have to like, oh my goodness. It’s just I’ve got to get some kind of a nap in because I have to stay up all night long.
Swing shifts, you know, they’re, they’re fun. But the first week that transition week is hard and everybody feels it. You can look in everybody’s eyes You know, the first week back from like the other shift,
And it’s you can just see it. Everybody’s just like
Hurt. Haha. Yeah, it wasn’t that bad though with the second car factory because the shifts, you know, it was every 2 weeks. So you never really got used to anything and the shifts weren’t so extreme like there’s a 12-hour difference in the shifts here. Yeah. Um at the second car factory, you know, there were only like uh
There was only.
Was there a big lag?
Uh, no on this app.
Well um at the second car factory, it was 6:30 to 2:30 uh the day shift and then night shift was 4 to 12:30.
Or was it 4:30 to 12:30? Was it 6:00 to 2:30? It was 6? Yeah, it’s until 2:30 and then, uh, night shift was 4 to 12:30. And then this job is, uh,
700 a.m. to, you know, 3:45. P.m. and then night shift is 700 p.m. to 3:45 a.m. I said, you know, that’s pretty big difference there.
Yeah, it’s like
Well, you know I guess it’s only like, 10 hour, you know, a part difference at the other 1 and 12 hours at this 1. I guess. It’s not that.
1:27 PM
I don’t know, extreme y’all. Um,
It’s picking up things, really stupid right now, but I’m going to go check on my clothes. And,
I don’t know if I’m going to eat something or not. Ehall, I might though, Yeehaw, I said things.
Thanks. Thanks. Yeah, I don’t know. What’s wrong with this app right now?
Thank you, please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 