4:51 AM
What am I doing?
I’m just hanging out. In the Breezeway, I guess it’s raining.
Trying to collect myself. Haha. And do chores. We got new roommates. I know it’s early, but I’m on a different schedule right now. So,
I drank too much. All weekend, I did. I just drained.
Drank. But yeah, I’m drained pretty much. Oh my God. I feel like
It’s time to stop drinking again.
Go ahead. I said, gosh, darn it.
You know, I really don’t. Care about myself like a normal person.
I don’t know why. I mean. I don’t know why I’m still like that, I guess. It’s like living in this house. Um, I still haven’t gotten used to not living shitty.
I don’t know. I reckon I’m still fucked up.
From the divorce and everything. I don’t think that is something I will
Ever really 100% get over.
Yeah, yesterday was Mother’s Day and You know, I don’t My mom is gone now. That’s so fucking weird.
It’s so weird.
I can’t believe my mom’s gone.
Her birthday is in about 3 weeks. That’s when my sister was wanting to uh, do the memorial service.
But I wished my ex-wife a happy Mother’s Day.
And told her she is the best 1.
She really is.
It’s a crazy thing, though. Like we got together when she was 16 and I was 19. And we were together for 18 years and you know, She moved on pretty fast.
I tried to.
But,
As much as I wish, I had a girlfriend. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m not.
I guess I just don’t. I still don’t really feel like I’m worth.
Messing with
I’m so fucking crazy.
But more than that, my life is such a fucked up mess. It’s like
You know, once a chick really got to know me. They would probably be like No, thank you. Really messed up.
Of course, you know, this is all, this is why I was going to drown myself in the ocean last year.
Yeah, it was
Even though I don’t feel that way right now, I still feel
Bad about myself.
You know.
I don’t feel great about it.
Sorry to make a sad post, but I mean, that’s just my life.
I wish I could go back.
To like,
- 2019 or 2020 or something? Yeah, and just Have a better perspective. I don’t know that wasn’t really possible at the time.
Even though like I got a really good job now and everything, I’m exhausted.
And yeah, I did. I drank too much. I ate too much pizza. I have a belly ache.
It sucks.
Oh, it’s almost 5:00 a.m. And,
I think I’m just going to
Lay back down, and try to sleep.
And then wake up later and do my chores and then go back to sleep.
Yeah, I guess. Thank you, please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 