7:51 AM
Oh my goodness.
Well. I’ll just, um,
I got home about.
I don’t remember how it wasn’t that long ago. But,
I messed with some music for maybe 30 minutes and Now. Now, I’m ready to go to sleep.
I’m just glad I got 1 more night, and then the weekend.
I’m so tired. I’m insanely tired. Like it’s not even I didn’t even go to the gym after work. I was like shit. So.
I laid down on this.
Booth thing. It’s like half a booth thing. Like 1 half of it’s this big long, you know, comfy.
Thing seat. Yeah. Haha and there’s a table and then on the other side there’s like regular, you know, chairs
I just laid there and passed out for probably 30 minutes then it was like shit.
I got breakfast or whatever.
Saw 1 of the people, I hired in with
And talked to him for a minute. He’s on, uh, Yeah, he’ll be on nights next week and I’ll be on days and he was excited. I’m like, you know, I would be excited if I didn’t have to stay up here for 3 hours.
After I get off work, but it’s fine, it’s gotten, you know? It’s not, it’s okay, you know? Hopefully, I can get a car next week I’ve got A little bit stuck back. And then My paycheck.
Will be.
Yeah, not that big because I missed a day but it ought to be enough. I can find some cheap Used car at a used car place, and Make a down payment and have I talked about this already? I think I have yeah, hopefully, I can get a car next week. I don’t care as long as it will get me back and forth to work. And see the kids
That’s pretty much it. Yeah.
I really, really wish.
That I still have. Yeah, that I still had my car. I really do. I loved that car.
It’s crazy how shit happens, you know, it’s like, For some fucked up. Reason, I just got stupid crazy depressed in January. I mean, like the most depressed I had been in 8 years, it was really fucked up but then my mom died. And then, my car got repossessed and my brain just snapped like that broke some kind of
Something. And I’m just, like, I was just normal sad after that and it’s gotten a lot better. Now, I’m just tired.
Yeah. Haha
I miss my kids more than anything else.
And because I never get out, you know I’ll never get out like a normal person. Anyways it’s like I wonder if I’m going to find a girlfriend at work.
Well, there’s a quite a few of them that are interesting looking.
Some of them though, it’s like
Well, I’m just so weird and I have such Eclectic. Yeah, tastes and everything even for a weird eclectic tasting person. Haha Like I’m
I’m like a weirdo among weirdos.
No, no. I said, yeah.
I know.
That is really funny getting out last year and playing the open mic nights and stuff. It’s like
I was the weirdest person there, but my music was the most intense. Yeah, I’m pretty. Fucking crazy when it comes to like, expressing myself and stuff. My art. Is just completely insane.
But it’s fun. Yeah, that’s like
You know. Some people take me way too seriously. A lot of people until they get to know me, take me way too seriously.
But, I mean, you know, I’m an introvert, it’s like
I spend most of my time alone. I get my Inspiration from like,
Not.
Um, from like the world around me and not so much the people.
Not the, you know, people are very important. Yeah, they are.
Actually, it’s kind of funny because I make art and music for like its own sake, but it’s also to share, you know, too
If somebody else appreciates it or gets some kind of entertainment or something from it, that’s great. That’s, it’s done. Its job. But even if it is 5 people out of billions,
Some of the best music.
And I mean, just best stuff ever isn’t popular at all. It’s crazy, but of course a lot of that is, you know, it’s
The damn words. You know, it gets its
Well that’s a whole another rant. I was just thinking like how do I say this? And then it’s like, oh yeah, well it’s a whole another rant, about how music and art and The Arts gets.
It’s an industry. Yeah, there’s an industry for it. That makes a whole bunch of money entertainment. Yeah. The entertainment industry, what the fuck my brain.
You know, and a lot of stuff that’s made just for the sake of, you know, The art of it or just for the sake of creative expression. It isn’t
Uh, picked up by like Mass media, you know, marketing and it doesn’t reach, you know. A lot of people either
I’m so out of the loop with what’s popular now. I think I’ve stated that a billion times though, but it’s it still it’s remarkable and it takes me off guard a little bit when I’m around people. And like, they’re listening to music.
They’re talking about stuff, and it’s like,
Where have I been for the last 10 years? It’s like I checked out of the modern world like mainstream Society sometime around. Yeah, 2016. It was it really started when we sold the house in Martling and moved to gadston.
Gaden, Alabama. Yeah. I guess I’ll edit that s in or maybe uh I’ll just talk about doing it and not really do it. Haha.
I think there’s another D in there, too.
Maybe 9 years, I don’t know. Everything is like a cycle 9 year cycle, you know?
Yes, let’s see. Um, Last year was a 1 year. That was the beginning of 2023.
Was a 9 year. That was the end of a cycle for me. What was 9 years before that Brain?
- 9 years ago was 2016.
I don’t know. I’m so tired. Yeah. Um,
Well, really it was after the divorce. Yeah, that’s when I checked out for real. 2018, I guess that’s when, uh, it gosh. I was thinking about that today. I was thinking about all the stuff that has happened. Since then, and what’s so funny is like, you know, my ex-wife
Life, just went on, you know, normal for her. I got replaced basically. And then it’s like,
I was flipping through like songs to change.
Oh
I guess the featured song.
On my Facebook profile and I was looking, I was like, I’m gonna I’m gonna put some Sparks up there which is 1 of my all-time favorite bands forever. I mean there’s so much great songs. There’s a Sparks song for everything and I don’t care. I haven’t really cared that much for the stuff they’ve the last couple of Albums. They’ve put out. I think. The only song Pacific Standard Time. It’s like the only song that’s really stood out to me since the hippopotamus album.
That I liked, you know, I really enjoyed but all that stuff because I found that actually my friend, Justin was like, Hey dude, check this shit out.
Around the time I met my ex fiance. And so, a lot of that music reminds me of her and the chick I dated after her.
Uh,
So it’s it. But the whole time, though, that was a really weird. Crazy time. And it just does it reminds me of like the fall of 2018 and
Spring of 2019, you know, fall and winter.
Yeah. Of 2018 and 19, and then the spring because I dumped that chick
In June. Yeah. Oh man. I went off on a big rant about her. On my other blog but I took it down. I actually made my blog, my old blog. Um, Public again.
But I’m, I took a lot of stuff down, but what the thing about that is
There, there’s Fuck like 5 years worth of fucking posts on that blog. So like, for posterity sake, it’s going to stay up. But I want to. To make a new 1 because you know
Anyways. I think I’m getting off track. I’m just really tired. I’m so tired. I’m blabbering. Worse than normal. Haha
What was I saying? Yeah, with music and stuff. I just
I guess I was trying to figure out when exactly. I kind of checked out of but it totally was, the divorce because it’s just Oh my God. And I was on so much medication and you know, but it’s getting better, it’s gotten a lot better. My last job at the warehouse, really helped and having roommates helped because I’m not like Completely alone.
It gives me. A little bit more, like,
I guess kind of a grounding element which I need you know, when I lived in that Farmhouse I didn’t have it. It was just my brain and the universe and the little part of Earth that I was
You know, physically.
Tethered to.
You know, and I just went crazy.
That whole house. Oh my God. And uh, it’s right next door to my house. Remodeling boss. And last year, um, I was mowing. He would pay me to mow sometimes. And I decided I would stop and just go in there and peek in that house and it was just how I left it with all my Art, painted it up on the wall and Stuff the kids, and I did it and a lot of other stuff that I did, and
That was though, I lived there for 3 years. I can’t really describe it right now because I would have to go on this big crazy rant. But um,
That was like, the most
Magical, 3 years. 3 of them. Anyways, 3 of the most magical special years of my life.
And it was so weird, because I just lived there, I just stayed there. It was like, you know,
When I first moved in, I was going to like pay rent and all this stuff and then I think the chick just ended up feeling sorry for me, the lady who owns it. It was uh, my friend Eric’s cousin. Second cousin or something. And um,
Like she came over there 1 day to get on to me about something because the house remodeling job had slowed down and I didn’t pay the power bill because I didn’t have the money and I was telling her about it and I was like, look, you know and My ex fiance. She had dumped me and she just, you know, it’s like, hey, okay. It’s like just, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it and she just left. And I never heard from her again or even saw her and I lived there for 3 years. Just Eventually, like they kept the water on because they had cows. It was surrounded by cows behind a fence
And I ended up getting the power company. After about a year when I was a QA I finally had enough money to get the power turned back on. A tree had fallen on the power line and they came out there and fixed it. And I ended up getting like the power bill in my name. And um, Nobody ever like bothered me or anything. I just lived there. It was crazy, and the whole thing just started falling apart. I mean, nobody else would have lived in there, anyways, it was 70 years old and it would have cost like
You might as well just have bought another house. How much it would cost to go. To have gotten that. Place up to like a decent. You know, level of like,
Where anybody else would have lived in it. Hahaha
8:09 AM
There was holes in the walls. Going into the outside. I had to like patch them up and
Rats and mice, and bugs, and everything everywhere. And it was just me and the dogs. And the dogs, you know, they all died off 1 by 1. Except Boat he died. Um, after I moved back in with my mom after the ceiling caved in on me.
And it would rain. And I mean, the whole house would leak. Like water would just drip down everywhere. I had to put containers all over the place to catch water when it rained.
Oh, and the molds.
The mold. Oh my God. And I can’t describe it. It’s like you could leave out. Like a piece of pizza like overnight. And the next day would have mold growing on it, but then like later on if you left it out like another night, it would be completely like green and fuzzy and I lived in the shit for 3 years. I don’t know. It was just really.
Inexplicable.
I didn’t have a car for like, You know, the better part of 2021. And it was just, it was just really crazy, but
Like, I had to walk to the store, you know, it was a lot closer.
Than walking to the store is here. I don’t know. It’s like it’s like I want to talk all about it but I don’t know where to start and then it’s like if I start then I’m going to have to talk about a whole bunch of other stuff but Yeah, I totally just lost.
Lost touch with the people or
People world.
I hear a weed eater or something. Oh, and that’s another thing. When I lived in that house, I didn’t mow any grass or anything around it. It was like a field. So I was like in this house in the middle of a field, pretty much
And, It was just the craziest thing that I that I got to live there for 3 years and I slept in a cot
A cot. Yeah. Until um,
Oh, that’s another long story. Anyways, I eventually got some bunk beds though and they’re in my storage unit.
Shit. Well, I didn’t mean to go off on a big crazy rant and I guess it’s not, but
I feel like I’m finally getting back like around to the people world again, you know, it’s
It’s been a process. It’s picking up that it says, snoring, it picks up background like stuff. It gives a little captions. Let me pick. It’s picking up. The mediator is snoring.
The weed eater. Yeah, is
As. Snoring.
Anyway, is the Exchange between me and this app. I swear. Haha
Thank you, please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 