5:31 AM
I woke up early.
Like at 4.
Probably is going to.
What?
Part of me wants to stay up and then part of me wants to go back to sleep.
Partly wants to eat food. I have coffee.
But,
Yeah.
I went outside earlier to smoke and it started raining.
It’s raining.
I was going to walk to the store here in about 2 hours.
I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Think I’m going to probably.
Well, I don’t know, I guess get my roommate who takes me back and forth to work. To stop by Walmart tomorrow afternoon.
And so I can get like, more crap. Because I have forgotten my Spaghetti House.
SpaghettiOs. Haha Yeah, I forgot them like 3 days. Last week. I was all
Well, 2 days.
Yeah, Thursday and Friday. I just totally forgot my lunch. So I had to eat in the cafeteria and I spent A lot more money than I wanted to.
The cafeteria where I work. Actually has some pretty good food.
Sometimes it’s, you know, not that great. But a lot of the times it is And it’s a whole lot better on day shift.
Shit, I’m getting sleepy again.
Um,
I don’t know. I was looking through my Facebook memories earlier.
It’s just so funny. How much time has zipped by?
Like a whole bunch.
I made the I made my Facebook.
16 years ago.
And 1 of the, uh, 1 of the pictures 1 of the memories is my daughter as a baby in the refrigerator.
And I remember taking that picture because it was funny. She was just hanging out in the bottom of the fridge, like she opened the door and got in there. And uh,
Gosh, I guess she wasn’t quite a year old.
You know.
And now she’s about to be 14.
And it’s crazy as shit. I remember, When she was little like that, I would just Throw her around and run, all over the house and the Yard with her like an airplane. Haha
And take her on adventures just like with the dogs like she was, you know, I did the same thing with my son. I think when my daughter was about 4 months old, I first took her out like on a big adventure. I had to go uh, do some crap with generators in Georgia and I took her with me. It was fun, it wasn’t anything big. I think I had to like, Um,
Check some crap like it, it wasn’t like a big thing it was more driving than working and I had a little baby car seat in the uh
Front of the truck with it facing you. I had the airbag turned off.
Um you know facing backwards so she could she was just right there. You know I could give her a bottle and I only had to change her, diaper like once and she slept a lot of the time.
But I would like take her. I was like, hey look, I got a baby. You know, to the customer, it was funny. And then we went and got lottery tickets and I took her in with me to get lottery tickets.
We’d listen to music and she would dance in the car seat.
And then she just grew and got bigger and bigger and bigger. And then my son was born. And then it was like me and my daughter and him, And the dogs, the 2 dogs that usually went with us, which was Boat and Gneegnerz
They would come sometimes Dave.
Yeah, he would come sometimes. But most of the time, it was just uh, it was 2 kids and 2 dogs.
We had a lot of fun. My ex-wife? Yeah, she hardly ever like went on adventures with us. She liked to sleep in. Like,
God sometimes we would go out and do stuff and come back at like 3 or 4. In the afternoon, she’d still be Yeah, still be asleep.
I was just thinking about all that it was, it’s so crazy. How different my life is now. I never thought. I thought my life was going to be like that forever.
Being married and having a little family and shit.
I really don’t understand how things like why it had to get. So
Awful there towards the end, but it did.
I was really happy for a while there being married and having kids and stuff after the kids were born, I was Really.
Enjoyed that? Yeah, I had everything.
I lived in a pretty nice house.
Was all fenced in.
Had a big yard, a bunch of dogs. I had a recording studio.
I liked my job, but I didn’t like working for my dad and he went out of his way to make sure that I didn’t like working for him. It was fucked up.
Well, actually I was part owner in the business but it was only you know, wasn’t
It’s crazy. I’m just thinking about all that because he had to shut the business down towards the end of last year my step cousin. Who I trained? Uh, killed himself last August.
Gosh.
I worked with him for about Well, maybe 8 years. And uh, It was really hard to train him to do that stuff and to deal with customers and everything. But You know, finally he got the hang of it after a few years and like troubleshooting problem solving wiring up the generators, he had a hard time wrapping his brain around some of that stuff. But it got better. He was really good at building things. And like the engine side of it because generators, you know, most of the ones we did were diesels.
That was my whole like world for. Up until I was about 37 years old
Well, I was born, you know, pretty much into the technical field. My uncle owned a motor, electric motor, repair shop.
Uh, for gosh, about 20 something years. In Albertville, and My dad owned the generator business ever since. 1993. And I was, you know, I got stuck having to do all that All the time. My first real, you know, job out of high school was working for my uncle.
It was the worst job I ever had. Haha
And I actually quit 1 of my favorite jobs I ever had, which was fixing vacuum cleaners, and pressure washers and floor, scrubbers and shit for This company called American Osment out of, uh, Hey, it did it picked it up just like that, um, out of Birmingham. And I really did like I loved that job. It was Stupid. And I got to go around to like hospitals and All kind of crazy places and service, their cleaning equipment.
I basically did that with generators for my dad, but I ended up quitting that job and Getting into business with my dad because of his health and he never would leave me alone. It was crazy. Like I had gotten married and moved to Birmingham.
Starting a new life, a whole new life with, you know, my ex-wife.
I was.
Doing great. And then my dad ended up having to have neck surgery and It was really hard to see my dad get old but I did not have any idea what I was about to get myself into
Because there were some times like some of the most miserable I’ve ever been working was having to deal with my fucking dad and he was just ridiculous, most of the time about it.
Really sucked.
Yeah.
But I hung in there for 10 years and my ex-wife never was happy. Living where we lived out in the middle of nowhere, we couldn’t get high speed internet or anything, and you know that got on her nerves.
And being around my family, surrounded by my family, and stuff. She was a city girl.
I don’t know, it’s just, I was just looking back on all that crap. Because one of my Facebook memories for today was also me complaining about Satellite internet. It’s like gosh.
My life was so different.
And now I’m just like,
Existing. But hopefully everything will start coming together. You know, a little better. It was starting to a couple of years ago.
I don’t really want to talk about any of that crap though.
I’ve talked about it so much, like especially in my other blog. Which I’m going to check and see if anybody’s looked at here in a minute.
Sometimes they still do.
But yeah, hopefully where I’m working at. Now I can get my life together again.
And,
That was another crazy thing is like in 2 years, my daughter’s going to want a car.
All this shit. Freaks me out. Yeah, it does.
I still think about my mom, too. She was like such a presence in my life. Post divorce. It was like, gosh.
I, I don’t know. That got to a point though, where I didn’t really want to leave Mom by herself.
But it got, oh man, I don’t know. I was just thinking about how You know, looking back at my Facebook memories is it’s like, holy shit.
And when I was in my late 20s and early 30s, just my life was so, so different.
Like, I still had a
Um, I don’t know how to say it.
Yeah.
People, I thought were going to be in my life forever, I guess aren’t
Yeah like my dad and my sister. My dad’s whole side of the family, pretty much.
And of course, you know, my ex-wife and all the in-laws Which you know, there really weren’t that many. My family is Huge. My family, you know, is pretty fucking huge compared to my ex-wife’s family.
I was just thinking I was like, dang, I had a sister-in-law and I had um, a mother-in-law and a father-in-law, you know, all the crap that goes with being married. They are, you know, pretty good people though. I had some great inlaws.
I guess mostly. I just miss my kids.
I talk to my kids every day, I text them and my daughter’s doing better. I think she was just having a Rough time. Yesterday morning.
When I talked to her yesterday, like I guess,
Later on, she was eating Oreos and Just laughing about shit. So it was like, okay. It’s great. That makes me happy.
Oh, that’s right. I did. I made that post, I took that post down, I made this huge fucking rant of a post after, uh,
Everybody had left at work while I was still waiting on my roommate. I was like I want to make a blog post and I totally went off the deep end and I wasn’t drunk or anything. Haha I was like crap. I went back and read it and I had to take it down.
That and working on music. That’s been my whole weekend so far. I’ve got to go downstairs and kind of assess what I need to do with the bathroom, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do that today.
But I’ve got to do Holy shit. I’ve got to do my chores. I said, oh my God.
I don’t know, I’m going to look at the weather and kind of see because I really do want to walk to the store. I want to get out and do something.
But then part of me wants to just be lazy. I’ve got 2 cans of soup.
You would think like as annoying and stupid as everything was in 2021. I didn’t have a car. I would have been able to stay on top of my car payment but then last year got so dang crazy.
I don’t know, it’s just
This is annoying. Not having a car. Haha Oh my God
It’s a giant pain in the ass. Yeah.
5:52 AM
Ha. I think I’m going to uh, wrap this up then smoke a cigarette.
Wrap this open and smoke a cigarette. Yeah, I can’t talk. Like I can’t yell into this thing because it’s early and I have roommates.
I don’t know how loud I am outside of this room, though.
I wish people would tell me stuff like that. It’s like, hey, we can hear you making blog posts but maybe they can’t. I don’t know. I was going to do it outside earlier, but I noticed 1 of my roommates has their window open and I’m like, well, How loud am I? I can’t tell.
I know when I talk on the phone. I’m really loud. Like normal, like talking on the phone. And so is my dad.
I don’t know, I was spacing out thinking about like, My life. And I’ve been having these crazy dreams, but I can’t remember them right now. But I had some crazy dreams.
I think what? I passed out it was before midnight. I fell asleep. Woke back up at 2.
Yeah, 2:22 for real that’s when I woke up and then I went back to sleep and woke up at like 4:30. And I was thinking I was like damn. You know, if I had a car, I would go to Hardee’s in Gurly. You know, the girly, Hardies. Haha
It’s also kind of funny that I just make these blog posts, it’s just these big long-winded, fucking
Just I’m just blabbering and people actually read the shit. Yeah people do.
I guess sometimes I really just I really miss my old life.
Yeah, it was the best like my life ever was
2022 was a pretty great year that, that was That was the best year I had post divorce.
This year has been.
Okay, overall, I guess. Yeah, I can’t. Really complain that much. I just need to get a car.
Hopefully, I can do that this week. I think my downstairs The 1 room mate, who lives downstairs.
I think she’s stirring about. Usually she gets up about this time. And lets her dog out.
But you know, I can’t really tell Like the sounds in this house where I’m at right now. I can’t really tell where anybody is at or anything. I can just hear movement and doors open and sometimes closing.
I want to get some kind of air freshener thing for like that’s what I was going to walk to the store and get uh
Well, there’s a Hardies down there in 5 Points but it’s not that great. Yeah, it’s like a really shitty Hardies. But what’s funny is I was dating this chick 6 years ago and I used to go there like and get her breakfast all the time.
I wonder, I know she doesn’t, I don’t think she lives where she used to live, but Oh no. Oh no. I’m not thinking about like contacting her or anything. I was just like wondering if she still lives around there. Yeah, I haven’t ran into anybody though. That I know since I’ve been living here, thank goodness.
I haven’t done any open mic nights or anything, or haven’t.
Well, I don’t
My brain just got really jumbled up.
I’m just kind of blabbering now for its own sake. I’m not really But I was going to go to like Hardies and get like a gravy and biscuit and hang out. Until the dollar store opened.
I don’t know. I’m going to check the weather because the last time I went
To the store. I got rained on that was last Sunday, actually. And, uh, there was that time I went
Gosh, it’s that has been 2 months ago.
Maybe longer? Yeah it was when we were having some really bad weather like on the way and I was like, well I’m out of cupcakes. And I’m out of a lot of stuff. So I’m just going to walk to the store and I got
I got drenched if I would have waited another hour, I wouldn’t have because this this big thing came through and
I don’t know. Memories are fucking crazy. Human.
I think somebody is moving around upstairs. Yeah.
Can’t tell, what really made it. It is though.
But yeah, life is a crazy fucking thing. It really is.
And I’ve got arms. You know, I’m laying in a bed sometimes, just hits me. It’s like What the hell even is this shit?
I know. I’m fixing to have to get up and go use the restroom.
What a horrible thing.
Really? Yeah, you know I’m alive and I eat things that were alive.
To keep me alive. Haha And goes in my mouth.
But it comes out.
Thank you, please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 