5:55 PM
Hello. Oh my goodness. It’s Sunday.
Evening.
I guess.
I shaved off my beard. It’s gone. Yeah, I shave usually about every 2 or 3 months and
I went about.
Almost 6 months this time. And then last time I shaved it off was about 6 months.
Nobody’s going to recognize me at work Tuesday. I’m just going to be like hey y’all. They will be like whoa, you have a face. Because that’s what happens every time I get hired in a place.
Where I, I go in with a beard and then I shave off the beard. And then they’re like, what the fuck? Because I look so different. I look fucking 30 years old.
Probably a little younger actually without a beard. Nobody knows how old I am. Nobody can tell how old I am ever.
And I think that’s funny.
Shit. I don’t know. I went Uh, back into the Food City and they didn’t have anything out. And the lady told me that the person who usually tends to the smoker to do the ribs and everything or whatever.
They didn’t show up today. So I went to Kroger and guess what? They had.
They had the ribs I wanted. And I got um, a thing of bread. Yeah, it’s delicious.
I ate everything except
Half the road, I ate half the broad.
Yeah. Um, bread. Haha
I’m getting hungry again. I’ve eaten so much.
Animals. The last couple of days today and yesterday, I don’t know, I guess replenish the Protein. I don’t know.
I don’t know anything. I’m just
I drank more coffee. I finished the 2. I have. Um, The margaritas then I was like God.
And then I smoked like, The.
Half cigarettes, I had left over in the ashtray outside from The last few packs of cigarettes and it’s like, you know, why do I even smoke?
Why do I even drink? It makes me feel like Great. You know, while I’m doing it. But then I feel like shit. I need to just take a break from all that crap for a while.
I feel like,
But um yeah I get hopefully getting my car fixed up. Enough to drive back and forth to work tomorrow. And
Then I’ll have like extra time to go to the gym. After work. Yep. Which I can do on night shift, but I can’t on days.
Well, anyways, um, yeah, that’s what I’m I just spaced out thinking about crap but
Um,
Yeah, I got to get in shape, I got to shape up. I’m actually in pretty decent physical condition for what I’ve, you know, done in the last. Couple of years but I’m not anywhere close to where I was at. 2 years ago.
I should probably lift some weights.
Yeah, I was just thinking I’ve got my weights right here. I don’t use them. I can I can use them, why don’t I use them?
Oh, lazy from being lazy.
Haha.
I’ve been watching World War II documentaries. Sometimes I just get Fucking like, oh, I’m going to watch some more War II stuff?
Yeah, I’ve watched a lot. A whole bunch of War documentaries. Well, you know, I’ve grown I grew up uh my dad being a Marine.
Uh and then, you know, he got out of the Marines and kicked around for a little bit in the 70s and then he got into the National Guard.
Didn’t take him long to work his way up, either. And uh, shit. But that was just that permeated my childhood was military stuff.
I almost joined the military. Like right out of high school. I almost did and Dad talked me out of It, I don’t. I don’t really know why. I think he figured I would get myself killed
Yeah, I don’t know. It just I was
Actually, a few people were like, dude. You know, you don’t want to join the millitary it wasn’t just my dad but Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if I would have went into the military.
And just done like 4 years, you know, of course A lot of my friends. Ended up going to Iraq.
Yeah.
I had a cousin who did and, uh, he saw a bunch of really crazy things. Actually, some of my best friends from high school went to Iraq and saw a bunch of crazy things. Yep.
Now.
But anyways, I don’t know like
When I was a kid like a little kid, I wanted to be a general.
And I wanted to take over the world. I don’t know, maybe it’s good. I didn’t go into the military hahaha, but I also, you know, I wanted to be a rock star and then I met my ex-wife. You know, I only wanted to love 1 woman forever so
I did just kind of go off about that, in the last post sort of I don’t know, it still sometimes it’s just like gosh it just hits me.
That’s life though, right?
Yeah.
There’s a whole lot of things. I wish I could go back and do differently. But after the kids were born, yeah, I don’t want different kids or anything that would have changed that
But what I’ve done differently.
What would I have done differently well, after the divorce?
I don’t think there was any saving, you know that?
Marriage. Yeah, so like after the divorce and I needed to get the hell away from my dad too so yeah, yeah. Um, I wouldn’t have went to and wouldn’t have gotten into college. I would have put that off until I had some kind of stability. Which I didn’t have. Because when I was going to college that brief period there, I was living out of my vehicle. And working third shift at Federal Mogul in Athens.
And I haven’t talked about any of that in this blog, but it’s, you know, it’s buried under about 4 years of posts in my other 1.
Um,
Of course, you know, I got a lot of really cool music and art out of that. But was it worth it?
I don’t know, I don’t know what lies ahead, you know. But I totally would have just gotten into that farmhouse on my own and not been caved in from depression from like meeting, uh, My ex fiance I wouldn’t have met her either. I would have just stayed off of Facebook. Well, I would have stayed out of dating groups. Yeah. And uh, Specifically, the mbti. The intj dating group. INTP or intj, dating group. It was like for both types and for people, looking for those types and it was mostly just a shit posting group because intjs and intps are known for, uh, not really giving a fuck about Conventional romance and dating.
Yeah.
We’re like the The super like Hyper nerds of the mbti community.
I’m going to have to edit that hahaha. Um, but, you know, I don’t really get all wrapped up in that stuff like I used to, but it’s a lot of fun. It really is. And, you know, most people into the mbti uh,
Are into astrology and numerology and all that stuff too its kind of funny.
Which actually I’m the only person who I know. Who is really into numerology? Nobody else I guess, maybe numbers and math. You know, math kind of hurts. People’s brains in a special way that I think that’s what turns a lot of folks off from numerology.
But to me, it’s simpler and easier. And there’s you got to direct You know. Path to the source with it. You don’t get with astrology. I guess though, ultimately everything emanates from the galactic center.
I reckon and Beyond, but it’s hard to imagine anything beyond that having too much of an effect on a human being.
Right? Yeah, I think.
You know, numbers are right there, you can You know, you can see them. You can see the immediate effects.
I guess a little more tangible than, you know. Cosmic influences. At least, um,
I guess Cosmic influences are pretty tangible too because they touch you. Haha. I mean I guess you know you don’t have to
I guess numbers seem a little more, uh,
Real to me because they’re right there, you know. You don’t have to know anything about planets. Anyways, um,
Yeah, that’s what I would have done. I would have gotten into that Farmhouse. I would have like, worked for my house. Remodeling boss. And just done that. Until I got that job at Tyson Chicken in February of 2019.
And I would have just been like kids and dogs, the kids and the dogs and my crazy music and art but how crazy?
Would my music and art be without having met my ex fiance. So I mean you know, And I used to say that, Somehow everything that happened. Has happened, you know, um, was for the best.
Anyways, as hard as it has been and as stupid as some things have been
That have happened. Oh my gosh.
But I guess It did that totally expanded my horizons like in this huge crazy way when I met her.
But it does make me kind of Wonder. It’s like
Shit, I could have just Not done that. And Not went crazy off the deep end because it did it fucked me up so bad after that ended
It took 3 and a half years to go over her, to get over, not just her but like the effect everything that I fucked up because of meeting her, I’m just thinking, you know, it’s like gosh.
That was.
6 and a half years ago.
But yeah, like though haha, like totally, I would have, um,
Just worked at the, uh, chicken plant until
I got the job. I have now. Yeah, that’s what I would have done. And uh, I don’t know. Sometimes I just, I do wonder if like, as much as As much fun as I have. With my crazy, you know, art and music. Recording. All these damn crazy songs. I’ve came up with the last few years.
My ex-girlfriend Stephanie. You know all the crazy shit. I came up with for her. Because, of Her.
Um,
Sometimes I feel like having a stable,
Environment.
Like having some like just real stability.
For the kids. You know.
Seems a lot more important but then that’s kind of the thing. Like there’s stuff. I don’t understand. Either like the big picture overall and I’ve actually been too screwed up to think much about it. It’s like my immediate, you know, what do they call that survival mode? Yeah, that’s where I’ve been at for a while. I was coming out of that though a couple years ago. And then I got just blown apart right back into it again.
I guess I feel like things are starting to stabilize a little bit now.
And that’s
Really great. I feel better right now about my life than I have.
Since I left the second car factory even if I’m you know, 2 hours away from my kids, but I just have got a car even though it needs some work, I think it’ll be okay. Yeah.
But as soon as I can, it’s going to get a paint job. Yeah, I don’t know. I used to not care about that kind of shit, but I kind of do now.
You know especially if uh I’m going to fix it up to where it’s
In really great condition like all the stuff and then uh, yeah I’m going to let my daughter drive it. I told her if she can drive it for a year without wrecks I’ll buy her a brand new car.
6:16 PM
But um, You know, I’m really thinking more like, 6 months, Maybe.
And I’ll buy her a car and just take that 1 back. I don’t know. I don’t really know. All what
What I’m going to do.
It’s got a tape player in it. Haha
Yeah.
Wonder if I could get 1 of those tape deck. No, I can just take all that shit out and put A stereo in it with a screen. The speakers I’m going to have to redo the speakers and I’ll probably put a subwoofer in it too. There’s a lot of stuff I’m going to do.
Yeah, I have had a lot of caffeine. Uh-huh. Today like I was just I passed out for about an hour after I drank the last. Of the margarita stuff. And then I was like, shit.
It’s time for coffee. I felt really bad though. Like, I started feeling really anxious and stupid. When I first woke up from the nap,
If it might have been like an hour and a half, I don’t know. But it’s like god, dude, you got to stop. Just stop drinking for like a month. It’s not going to kill me.
Stop smoking. Don’t buy another pack of cigarettes. Hopefully, I’ll get the, uh, PTO request. Um, Approved for Wednesday. And I can get a tag, I have insurance. And maybe I can get a tag and then I’ll be good to go.
But I am really happy that there’s like,
There’s the Food City just up the road and then there’s the, uh,
You know the Kroger about fuck, I don’t know, 2 or 3 miles up past that uh I can’t remember the name of the road and then about Maybe a mile or so up from the Kroger is the Publix and then across from the Publix is the Walmart. And so, like,
That’s where I’m going to. Start going to get groceries and stuff and stay the hell out of Madison And like the, you know, City part of Huntsville, because
It’s just too much. And traffic and everything and there’s not a lot of traffic up there where I go. I didn’t know anything about it either. It was crazy.
I sure do miss my kids.
But I was, I was watching the Um, this documentary, it was uncensored and it showed like it was like when they liberated the Dachau
Concentration camps. And it was so graphic and horrible. And Nightmarish and it’s like, dang, you know?
My grandpa was actually captured in the Battle of the Bulge and sent to uh fuck. I think it was Stalag 13
I’m gonna have to edit that in. Yeah, that’s the prisoner camp, but it was, you know, they treated him. Pretty much the same way.
My height. Like 6′ 2″ And weighed, I think 90 pounds when they got him out of there.
And he came back with all kind of psychological fucking issues.
He was a dentist. Yep. He was an Army dentist. And he was in his 30s.
He wasn’t like a, you know, infantry person.
Like a young, Recruit. He was like, He had been in the military for a while.
When was he? Born, 19.
19 13. I think
It might have been 1911. Yeah.
I want to say he was born in 1911. Hold on. He was born.
January the 13th.
- Now, I’ve got to look this up. I know it’s on 1 of my aunts Facebook, pictures.
6:42 PM
Damn, I was way off. It was January the 25th 1913, I don’t know. Then I got down this genealogy Rabbit Hole. Apparently uh,
His mom’s.
Side is. The Ingrams and then like I just Found this thing that traced it all the way back to like the 1750s. It’s like dang, it’s That’s my.
That’s part of my lineage. That’s my grandpa’s. Mom’s side of the family.
Yeah, they all lived like around this place called Edwardsville.
Um, It’s kind of, like,
Close to Heflin, I guess. Alabama. Yeah, out in like I guess Cleveland County is Cleburne County.
Yeah. Shit. Now I’ve got to look that up.
6:46 PM
Okay, I was right about that. Yeah, it was in Cleveland County.
Clayburn. Cleburne. Yeah, County.
I can’t believe I was that far off on my Grandpa’s birthday. Yeah. Haha
I forget. I forget a lot of things. I used to not forget anything.
6:47 PM
Course, I moved. My hand weird, because I drank some water and then turn the Fucking phone off and then back on.
What the fuck? Okay. Yeah, I still don’t think I’m in the same Dimension. I started off in and everything is just too different. From what it was. 10 or 15 years ago.
I don’t understand. Yeah, I just don’t.
I guess this is another long-winded post. No 1 will ever read. Well, sometimes people read it. I don’t get Like I got a shit ton of hits when I first
Uh, got the domain name. And everything. I mean like fucking like a hundred hits. And then it just slowly trickled down to where it was at before. I did, I did it but now people can read this blog and not see advertisements.
What a long word.
Haha.
I don’t know. That’s kind of the thing though. This. Blog will it’ll be quiet you know as far as hits and things go and then all of a sudden somebody will just read fucking you know 10 articles or some shit. It’s really funny that anybody reads this at all, but they do. Actually, last Saturday, it got a bunch of hits. You know.
Hey, that reminds me. I need to email my friend Justin back. Yeah, he’s He probably is wondering. It was kind of its a long story, I just need to email him back. Yeah, I don’t know.
I just thought of that because I was like,
I hate typing now like if I have to type anything long and drawn out, I’d rather just
Talk it.
And then edit it. Like I do blog posts.
It’s so much easier.
Like I couldn’t imagine typing all this shit up, but I used to Yeah, when I first started doing a blog in 20, 18.
Yep.
All typed it up until
Uh,
Probably October of 2019.
Isn’t that what I yeah that’s when I started. Yeah cuz I found this app I was like wow a speech to text app, I can’t remember what my ex fiance used for her speech to text stuff.
I think it was like the accessibility 1 of the accessibility features on her phone.
Oh my God. I was looking at her, uh, YouTube the other day ought to actually link to some of that. It’s like,
She was so talented. I guess still kind of is, but like she took a lot of her really good videos down of her, playing the harp. And like, playing guitar and singing some of her songs and everything. Just I mean, she’s as good as I am, and I’m like, damn, you know, and then now it’s just her all like, God, she looks like a totally different person. That’s a nice way of putting it, right? Haha Yeah. And now she’s just like jacking off singing, karaoke with some fucking stupid looking guy.
I mean, I’m not bitter, you know, but
Haha. Yeah.
I’m not going to. Link to any of that, but I should maybe I will, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.
I feel like I’ve been talking for a goddamn hour though.
I wonder what the word count is for this post.(3704!¡)
My last post was like 3200 something words. For real, that’s a lot of fucking words, right? I remember like, you know, the last time I was in college, doing essays. It’s like, you know, 500 word essay 1000 word fucking essay and I thought, oh my God, that’s just so much shit. You know, but it’s not at all.
Or, you know, I’m talking about like that, like going back I guess I wish I would have done more like
Online stuff and taking just maybe taking a couple of classes. I took a full load like 15 hours. Yeah.
I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.
I wasn’t.
You know.
We’re supposed to get some really crazy weather.
Yep.
But I’m excited to take my car to the mechanic tomorrow just so he can go through it and be like yeah, this and that and this Because I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a few things that I need to get fixed.
Hopefully though it’ll be fixed up enough, uh, with the CV. Whatever. Um, And, you know, it leaks oils somewhere. Probably the oil pan gasket and uh, I put oil in it yesterday and I checked it again. And I went out and checked it again.
Probably about 4. P.m. Yeah, and it had plenty of oil. I put oil in it.
Fuck yesterday morning. I guess. So it’s
It’s fine.
Yeah, it’s got still got plenty of oil. So the leak must not be that bad.
But I need to get that fixed. I need to get the oil changed.
And uh, the check engine light is on, I can’t remember if that was on when I bought it, or if it just came on, on the way back from the store earlier. But
Get that checked out. Looks like somebody redid those spark plugs and the plug wires.
You know, so that’s that’s good.
That’s the kind of stuff. I can do though. I can.
Change shit like that. Um, but like brakes I can totally do but I don’t want to Yeah, there’s a lot of stuff actually I’ve done before. I’m like, God this sucks. I hate this. I would rather pay somebody else to do it.
Jesus Christ. What else can I say?
I’m still all just, I’m whacked out. On fucking caffeine. So I guess I need to wrap this up and then email my friend. Justin Yeah, yay. Thank you.
Please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 