9:26 AM
Well. Heck, I just, uh,
Oh shit like an hour and a half ago. Yeah I went to the mechanic and uh he’s like hey buddy, you need 2. CV axles and well I’m going to have to wait till I get paid next week to get that fixed. Makes me kind of sad because, um,
I’m not going to be able to see my daughter for her birthday, her birthday weekend, but Maybe next week I can, uh,
See her that weekend, you know, I mean, geez. That’s It’s kind of a bummer.
For real.
I don’t think I’ve ever used that word. Ha, yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know why that even came out but that’s exactly what it is. It makes me sad. It’s like gosh, I just wanted to see my daughter for her birthday. And then Wednesday, uh, hopefully I’ll get Wednesday off. I can go get a tag. I have insurance. I think I mentioned that in the last post. Twin flame chick is all in my fucking brains too. It’s like
You know, where do I start? Like,
I don’t know where to start. I know of several people who have had to deal with this thing, the whole thing and I didn’t believe in any of it until it happened to me. Okay, but like
Long story short, she did a bunch of mean crazy stuff to me and I would say, 85% of the reason I had a nervous breakdown when I worked at the second car factory is because of her. And I don’t know how much she realizes.
Just the effect, not only the effect she had on me, but how much it disrupted my fucking life. I mean. She figured out where I lived. I guess I can only figure from my Instagram posts. And did a bunch of mean stuff and Drove me, absolutely crazy. And continued to drive me even more crazy. After I left the second car factory. And every time I would try to message her, she would just, she would be mean, she would be like, I don’t know. You You know, like mean, super fucking mean and it’s like
I just don’t think she realized, you know, I had gotten out of a pretty toxic Relationship, my, my last girlfriend was the most.
Oh my God. Toxic is like a. That’s
That doesn’t even touch it. She tortured, she strung me along for fucking
3 years. Yeah, she left me alone for about a year and a half and then last year, she came back and just, oh, my God, yanked, me all kind of ways and it sucked. And uh, You know, like the Twin Flame chick.
I don’t know what ideas she got into her head. What she made up all the stuff she made up in her head about who, who I am and what she thought? I have no idea how far that goes. But,
All I saw was another Stephanie, you know, coming after me and I can’t handle that shit. I’m not
I’m really sensitive and when it comes to like, you know, love and stuff. I’m I’m actually pretty. Fragile. Yeah. You know, it’s
There’s a reason why I’ve been single for 4 years, okay? I mean, like, I don’t date I don’t do shit. I mean, I’ve liked
Well, that was the chick. I got mixed up with in November of 2022
Who had a boyfriend she didn’t tell me about and that’s another story but it fucked me up even worse and made me like just not trust anything. Traumatized me is what it did all over again. About the time I got over Stephanie and then Last year, I guess it was like February. Stephanie, just started messaging me again. I made another Facebook account.
Uh, I don’t know to get away. I don’t know what I was thinking, like it mattered, like, I could ever get away from the Twin Flame chick, by making another account, right? But uh I just thought, maybe, you know, I could use some something new, it would be fun. And that’s, I don’t know. Then Stephanie came back and it was even crazier and weirder than it ever had been with her and
Finally, though, she left me alone, like I think
I haven’t talked to her or anything. Since maybe like November of last year, I don’t even I really don’t remember. Yeah, but like I haven’t talked to her in probably 6 months. Give or take.
And I’m like, you know, oh, I’m not going to run from love again. Yeah. But I do I have I still am, you know? I’m still just I’m not I can’t handle it right now at all, and I’ve got other things. You know, and it’s finally to the point where I just don’t care about having a girlfriend anymore. I did for a really long time and for a really, really long time. I wanted I had hoped That it would be the Twin Flame chick. I have held out for her. I held out for her for a long, long time, despite all her torturing crazy shit. Like it’s, it’s like I got it though. It’s like, I get it, I don’t understand it, but
Holy fucking shit.
Lady. You know and um,
At some point in the last, I don’t know, a few months, she blocked me on Instagram and she blocked me on Facebook and you know, I’m like okay. All right, you know? And uh well she was hitting my other blog. Pretty regularly and I would leave her like messages and posts like hey you know,
And 1, I think, 1 of the last ones I left was like, I don’t look, I stopped looking at your stuff at fucking hurts. It drives me crazy. I can’t message you. Because she did, she she went way too far, way way, way, way way, way too far with it way too far. And last year, at some point and my ex-wife was all like, you know just told me I was making all this shit up in my head. Like I’m some kind of fucking 5 year old lying little kid or something. I don’t understand until she tried to follow my daughter. On Tik Tok last year and uh, then I was like Hey, There we go. Yep. So, uh, My ex wife has been really, really nice to me. Yeah, since like, you know,
Well, my mom went Like my mom did a bunch of crazy stuff at the beginning of this year, too. Before she died and Uh, she called my ex-wife and told her a bunch of crazy stuff and my ex wife called me and well actually my ex wife texted me to call her and I called her and I was like, what’s up? And she told me, you know, all this stuff and It’s like, You know I’m not crazy like that because my mom is my mom was schizophrenic. Yeah. And it was really hard to deal with Really hard the last couple of years.
Or last year I guess, and the Year before but especially last year was so hard. I was in a constant state of anxiety and like just
Oh my goodness because of my mom and uh you know, I’m dealing with all this other crazy stuff. My my life, you know, my personal life is just everything and then here’s this chick just Torturing like that’s I don’t even know exactly how it. Described how to describe.
Yeah, like
Like what the fuck, you know? Like, I have enough problems. I need somebody. I needed somebody to be nice to me. Basically, I’ve been through enough shit. All the games and that’s what my you know, that’s the my last girlfriend Stephanie. That’s what she was all about. Fucking that shit and I saw
You know, the Twin Flame chick came at me, acting all crazy like that and I’m just like I can’t. You know oh my God she made me so nervous, I would shake like a fucking like oh my God! I would get so nervous. 1 time. She tried to get me to meet her at the gas station and I was so nervous that I threw up all over myself and I just drove by and I looked at her I had vomit all over my shirt and steering wheel and she looked at me and just had this like just stare Blank Stare but she had already fucked with my head so much. I was so afraid of her being mean to me and like because I would just die, you know I was afraid she was going to be really, really fucking mean to me. Because she had already been.
And it’s like, you know, this is why I keep to myself. You know, at for the most part. Yeah, this is why I, you know, it’s just it but it was totally unavoidable.
My life got ruined again, because of a woman and
I don’t understand, but
She exists and I wish, you know, I wish it could have been different.
I really do. I wish she could just whatever it is, her ego or whatever she has made up in her head about like stuff. I wish she could just put all that aside and message me like a person.
You know.
It Bluetooth connection, that was so.
Oh wow. Can I get to the car thing? It connected. Yeah. To the car thing. Yay. Okay, well anyways, I had to crank the car because it’s hot.
It’s getting hot. I’m in the Publix parking lot.
Just thought I’d make a blog post. I’m all jacked up on coffee again. Haha. I did though, I got some coffee and I’m like, I want to go to the grocery store and I went to Walmart and got enough stuff I think for the week.
Without having to spend too much, dang money, you know,
But, um, cuz I got to stop, I got to stop. Spending all my money in the cafeteria.
Because I get this car fixed up and everything. It’s adventure time with the kids. Hell, yeah, it is.
But I don’t know. It’s just the dream I had last night. That’s the first time I’ve dreamed about her since probably March. And, And it was like the most intense 1 yet and I just she’s been in my brains all morning and I don’t know if she like reads. This happens to just, you know, I don’t know who that. Was who read the article I posted earlier. I don’t know how far. Any of this shit goes?
I don’t I really don’t know where to start talking about how crazy this whole thing has been. But I got a lot of music and a lot of art out of it. And,
You know, she’s my counterpart. Yeah, but like we’re Polar Opposites. And that kind of freaks me out. But, At the same time, I wish It could have been so different. You know, I really do. I wish.
God. I wish it could have been different.
And I know me running from her pissed, her off. Probably like, Like wrathful, like enraged. Oh my god. Oh I’ve never cried about a woman. As much as I cried about the Twin Flame chick, Okay? Like I don’t know what else to say, what else can I say without? Just starting from the beginning. And I did that on my other blog, I made a couple of posts and I just I took them down. I’m like, you know, This is too weird and crazy. Just, I don’t know, but I get reminded sometimes that it’s still, it’s
It exists. Yeah, she exists. And so do I. And
I’m kind of hungry. Again, I don’t know what I want to do. I ate 1 sausage biscuit from Hardee’s about 7:30,
9:42 AM
The other 1 downtown, I don’t I’m not going to take this car, you know. Too far away.
As much as I want to go to the Hardee’s in Gurly. Yeah. That’s That’s what I mean by that. Um,
Well, it’s not downtown. It’s 5 Points. Yeah, it’s It’s almost kind of like a downtown though. It’s like right there, all the bunch of stuff is right there. But it’s not downtown, you know Huntsville.
And I’ve been trying to find a place to get my haircut but they’re all closed for Memorial Day and I I understand.
I just
Feel like I look. Really stupid with my hair long like this with no beard. Yeah. It’s like I don’t have a beard. My hair needs to be shorter. Or something, I don’t know.
I look like shit, too. I look like shit. Oh my God.
All the drinking and the smoking. I’ve been doing the past. Couple of years.
All the stress.
Oh my God.
Well, I don’t know. I don’t know what else to say. I’m just
Off work, you know, making a bunch of blog posts.
I’m going to edit this because they’re supposed to put the chickens. I’m going to get 1 more chicken. Yeah from Publix that’s why I’m here. And uh,
I’m going to eat. I’m going to eat the shit out of it.
Soon, as I get it. So that’s why I figured I’d make a post. And then, by the time I eat the chicken,
What, by the time I edit this thing, they’ll have the chickens out. Yeah, God I’m not that complicated.
But yeah, I never had like you know let’s talk about oh Stephanie and all that, you know, How crazy she drove me and all this shit. That’s like not even. That’s nothing compared. To the Twin Flame chick. Yeah.
God.
Like, the only thing comparable to that is like, my, my ex-wife is how much I cried over a lady and my ex fiance Yeah, like it’s just it’s right up there with those and it wasn’t Barely anything physical.
Like we might have interacted. I’m I might have talked to her in person for a total of 15 minutes. Like, you know what I mean? It was just
So, fucking crazy. So crazy. I was struggling so bad. I was just like barely holding things together as it was and then Here Comes this crazy shit out of nowhere. I guess it what really wasn’t out of nowhere but
It happened.
And ruined my life again. Starting all over again, having to start all over again.
And, you know, all I really care about what do I all I really care about What is it that I only care about?
My kids. I don’t care about anything else, not really not if it’s going to be a bunch of crazy bullshit. I would love to have, you know, a lady. But holy shit. I’m not going to. I can’t handle a bunch of fucked up.
Insanity here, I’ll die And I can’t die. Okay, not yet.
Thank you. Please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 