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1:04 PM
Hello. Yeah. Well, I just got back from

A haircut. Yeah, I got a haircut. Yay. Now, I don’t. I don’t feel.

I don’t look. Um,

Stupid.

Haha, I said Yes. And um, I don’t know it’ll grow out, my hair was too long for what it was without a beard and I just, I don’t know.

I don’t really like long hair anymore, I used to, I mean I had long hair for 20 years.

And it looked really cool too, and it’s just like, well,

After the divorce, I shaved my head and It’s just never been the same. I just don’t care. I was thinking about that shit earlier actually I was like,

Well, tomorrow would be. Will be the 7-year anniversary of the divorce being finalized.

Oh my goodness. I don’t know. It was hard. It was a hard day. 7 years ago? Yeah.

That’s kind of weird too. I remember um, when we went and signed the divorce papers and I did I held on to the very end it’s like what if she changes her mind, you know? We split up and got back together.

Oh, I don’t know. 3, 3 times I think before then. It just got so ridiculous though. And it’s like, okay. I mean, there wasn’t any fixing it apparently, but I remember on the way up there to sign the papers, she like held my hand and stuff, like it was weird for me. I don’t know what was going through her head.

I really don’t know what was going through her head. The whole 18 years we were together.

It

Destroyed me completely. Yeah, I’m just like I’ve just really been this husk of a fucking person ever since

I mean gosh I was so screwed up as soon as the divorce papers you know as soon as it was finalized, guess what I did? I went and got a girlfriend, it wasn’t hard. Haha

You know, and That was probably 1 of the dumbest things I ever did. I broke her heart too. One of my biggest regrets, actually.

But, I did something even dumber than that.

About. 5 months later when I met my ex fiance. Oh my God. And I had a dream about her last night.

But I don’t want to really. Talk about any of that shit right now. It was just it, just popped in my head. I got a haircut and I feel great. I mean I’m tired.

I’m really tired. Oh my goodness.

You know, I guess it’s Saturday. I can take a nap.

But I need to do my chores, I mean, I’m going to probably do that after I nap. Yeah.

I was going to fiddle with the bathroom but I might do it tomorrow.

I wonder what kind of hardware stores. Are around here that are open tomorrow?

What am I doing? I just opened up the Google Photos. Haha

But yeah, I haven’t had my haircut, this short.

Oh, fucking like 6 years? Yeah.

I mean, besides shaving my head, You know, like a haircut this is the shortest haircut. I’ve gotten I guess 2019 was when I got my haircut last, the short.

Okay, hardware stores. Yeah, I know the Odyssey.

Oh damn.

Well, there’s a Lowe’s. Way down.

Fucking off 431. Yeah, I’m not going to go to that 1. There’s

Oh, I guess that’s it. That’s that’s the closest damn hardware store.

I thought there was a Home Depot up there. Close to

Another 1 off 72, another Lowe’s? Yeah, just I guess there’s not anything like I thought that close I didn’t want to drive that far in my car but if I get into everything tomorrow and Stuff. I might can get 1 of my roommates to take me to Lowe’s. I don’t want to drive that far until I get the CV axles fixed.

I know I’m going to need a wax ring. For the toilet. And I’m going to.

I don’t know if I’ll need supply lines or not for the sink. I’m just going to have to look at all this stuff. I’ll do that later.

What else? I don’t know. It’s just Saturday. I mean, I slept till about 10:00. I went back to sleep after I made that last post and

Really. I really need to stop drinking like really, really need To stop drinking. Yeah. Really bad. It’s bad.

I guess I say that because I feel kind of crappy today. Yeah. It’s just like dude stop. Stop drinking.

So I had coffee instead and now I’m like tired but I’m jittery You know, I’m like I’m wired up but I’m tired.

Maybe I should work on some music.

I just feel like after the week I had, I’ll probably need to rest up. I ate good. I ate well this morning. Well, what am I saying? I got up and got around. Went and got coffee purchased coffee. Yes, and a water. From the Circle K. And then I went to Publix and got a chicken ha and a fucking potato salad and ate that.

I picked up all the garbage in my room.

I need to get these clothes out of the floor because there’s supposedly clean. Yeah. And uh,

I hear people.

Stirring around. I can’t tell if it’s downstairs or upstairs half the time, like I, I can’t tell where anything is in this house by the sounds

It’s a really nice day outside.

Sure, I know.

Well let’s see, I’ve got how many songs do I have? I have I tracked for this concept album. It’s um,

Yeah, there’s the 1 I need to make faster so I guess 5 really and then uh

Oh, I don’t know if I really want to mess with that.

I’m tired, but I had that coffee and somehow I’m really conflicted.

I guess I’m just crazy. I don’t know, I hope.

I what?

Yeah, it just didn’t pick anything up, like I said it. Shit I don’t know, I don’t know what else to talk about. I don’t really feel like talking about stupid things, that happened fucking 6 or 7 years ago.

Oh, there’s packages on the porch. I’m going to do it, I’m going to get the packages.

1:21 PM
Okay, I did I got those packages. There were 3 big Packages and 1 of them. Was heavy.

I mean not that heavy. It was like, I think the shipping weight was 86 pounds. And I just grabbed it unexpectedly like thinking, what?

Yeah, the others weren’t heavy. Yes, I was just like oh grab it. Oh gosh. You know.

Yeah, I did something useful.

I guess I do every day though at my job, but I don’t know. I need to clean up my room. More

1:22 PM
Okay. Yeah. Group. Group text roommates. I don’t know though, like it was weird that group chat, I got added to Uh, yesterday, I don’t know who that was or who all the other people were. I thought it was some spam thing. And uh, some like

I don’t know. It was just I don’t think I’m going to entertain any more strange group.  Chats

Unless I know the people,

Yeah, it’s funny. I did. I got a haircut like this.

June, or July of 2019. And I did have big crazy hair. Like I just I had cut it. Well, it it was after I shaved my head. Yeah uh, after the divorce in 2018. And then I, um, I just let it grow out and it got real big and bushy. It was crazy.

And then uh I cut it normal like it is right now.

It looks pretty good.

They say but my son said he liked my old hair better.

But it’ll grow out, you know, in a couple of months, it’ll look pretty cool.

I just don’t really care to have long hair anymore, I don’t know, I had long hair. Like fuck. It got pretty long actually before I cut it, and then, uh, last year it had gotten pretty long before I cut it. And then um, I think I let it get really long in like 2022. Yeah.

I don’t know, maybe I’ll find a nice lady now. Haha.

I’m going to be honest, I’ve had, I’ve had about enough of crazy chicks, that’s all I’ve had since the divorce and it is why I have been single 4 years and

I’m like, Borderline. Yeah, retarded when it comes to fucking women.

Well, no, actually I’m

All the way. Stupid.

But I feel Feel good. I’m just It’s like my body is tired but my mind is all go, go go because I had that coffee you know I bet if I did some uh Dumbbells, you know, some reps. I would feel fucking awesome.

Do I really? I need to stop drinking. I’ve done really good about smoking.

And I would probably drop 20 pounds if I stopped drinking. And just get back, you know, going to the gym getting in shape and

Maybe fix my life once and for all and keep it that way until you know. It’s time for me to go.

That would be great. I would love to just exist and be there for my kids.

And, you know, find a special lady at some point.

I don’t think I got it in me, but for 1 more just 1 more time, you know, I don’t want.

Some crazy, fling. Or, you know, a hookup or any of that shit. I want like a real person and I just don’t think I’ve even met her yet for like honestly. I mean, there are some prospects, you know, there’s a couple of chicks at work, I like, but you know, I like them as people a lot. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to date. Anybody. Anytime soon, I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Gosh. All this stuff’s so dumb though to to think about it to get it’ll all get, it’ll get all in my head and then I’ll get it out and it’s like gosh I’m really kind of stupid.

About that stuff. Yeah, I think I need to just

Fuck with music. I’m really though.

Oh, it’s awful. I want to I want to drink. Yeah, I do.

Absolutely do not need to and I don’t think I’m going to I don’t need to spend any more money. I just spent $26 on a haircut. And 11 dollars on a chicken. And

Potato salad and I’m just rambling on and repeating myself at this point. I think I’m going to wrap this up and

Space out for a minute and figure out what I’m going to do for the rest of the day. Even if it’s just nap. But I got to do my chores.

Yeah, I’m repeating myself. Haha. Haha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha! Ha. Ha. Ha ha ha. Yay.

Thank you. Please.