4:06 PM
Okay, and let’s try this again.
My son just texted me. Yeah, he liked. My hair better, the way it was.
God damn it. I said, hahaha.
I don’t know.
I’m tired.
I couldn’t nap. I’m still wired up from the coffee. I drank it was a lot. Yeah, earlier.
Shit, it was like a 11 oclock though. Ought to be
Ought to be worn off by now. Ought to be crashing from it. And sleeping.
I’m really like,
Stupid.
Fighting the urge to go. Get some alcohol. It sucks. Yeah, because it’s Saturday night and I’m just like, well,
I could say that I’m bored. But I’m also unmotivated. So it’s like there’s a ton of things I can do. I lifted weights a little bit earlier and that made my neck hurt. Yeah. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.
I’m not hungry.
I think it was about.
That I finished that chicken about 1:00. Yeah. With the potato salad.
Oh gosh. I just don’t want to spend any more money because I could just go up to the Food City and probably get. A thing of ribs they had them out the other day. They were twenty dollars though.
I don’t want to spend that much money
I drank a lot of water this afternoon.
I have been, yeah, it’s ongoing.
My roommate is renting out the garage for like Studio space and earlier. There were people in there. I don’t I don’t know if they’re still in there.
In their. Yeah. Um, but Haha.
Anyways, um,
The.
Derp.
I don’t know.
It probably wouldn’t kill me to practice like singing and some of my old songs.
Out in the garage. I just, I can’t do it when they’re there, if they’re still there, you know.
Gosh, there’s this mirror like My closet doors are those fold out door things, you know, and they’re mirrors.
And I’m just like looking at myself.
Making a blog post. Like it’s just right there, I’m right here and I can look, I can look up, I look weird as shit laying down looking at myself, but then normal I look normal as hell with this haircut. A little like an actor or something.
It’s kind of funny.
A lot of people though, they like, you know they liked how I looked with my longer hair and my beard. I don’t know, like, I’m not as active on social media, like, Facebook.
As I was fucking 5 or 6 years ago, I think I mentioned in the last post but I got the last haircut like this.
And a lot of people commented they were like, we like this version of you, the best, like, my friend, chancellor, who is a, uh, a chancel
I’ll have to edit that in. And yeah, his name is Chancil
Yeah, the the way on so he’s Indonesian, he’s like this really famous illustrator in Indonesia. I’m friends with like all these crazy people from all over the world. It’s funny as hell. And um, My friend Serum. Is it gonna pick that up? Hell, no. I’m gonna have to edit that in too. Sriram. He’s Indian, he’s an, uh, computer software engineer and he speaks 12 languages.
But anyways, I used to get all kind of
Different takes on how I look, I guess I shaved my head. A lot of people Loved that. And then it grew out for a couple months and uh some of my friends were like we like this version of you the best and then Um, most people though, I think Like my hair a little longer with a beard? I don’t know. I just don’t feel like that matters anymore but it probably does. I look the same? I’ve looked the same for 10 years like my face and everything just with whatever kind of hair. Like I stopped, I don’t know when I was younger. I looked older. Like when I was 18 19 years old I could go buy alcohol and not get carded. And then, um, and I did actually
I did that 1 time. My ex-wife. Her parents were out of town. This is gosh. We hadn’t been together.
3 or 4 months and she had a party and it might not even been that long. It might have been we might have only been together like a couple of months. And I went and bought alcohol for everybody and I didn’t get carded or anything.
And, uh, Now That I’m Older. I look younger. Nobody can ever tell how old I am and I think that’s funny.
But I have a lot of gray and white in my beard now. And it’s like, when I shave, I look fucking really young.
And when I’ve been like, doing stuff and I’ve got like color in my face, like, um, Well, last year, when I did house remodeling and I was out in the sun all the time, I look, uh, looked a lot, you know, more vibrant What am I trying to say? I look a lot better. Yeah. When I’ve been I’ve been on like a workout kick or something.
I don’t know.
I think being a human is a crazy fucking thing. And I’ve just really been thinking a lot about that lately.
Especially like going back and Reading, you know, like I mean, I’ve always been kind of a history nerd. And uh, you know, just looking at
Human history, I guess at least what’s in the books. What you can access?
You know, through whatever media um,
It’s funny how much things just jumped off in the 20th century.
And of course, I was born in 1980 towards the end of, you know, the 20th century. And it was kind of a funny time. It was like a transition there, the 80s and then the internet happened and the 90s and everything got Crazy more interconnected. And
Interesting, I guess, and then it got more and more and more and more, and more and stuff. And I don’t know, here we are. 2025.
I just thought the world would be so much different. Than it is. It’s like the same, you know. Except we have cool phones and
Popular music is worse than it’s ever been. It just sounds like a bunch of regurgitated shit.
There’s 1 song. I don’t know who sings it. It sounds like, uh,
Like a microwaved like reheated version of, uh, That, uh,
I can’t remember who sang it. No, fucking my baby. She wrote me a letter song. You Know, bought me a ticket from an air for an airplane. That song, you know? Lonely days are gone.
I’mma coming home, you know, that song?
I don’t know why it picks. Picked it up that stupid looking. But yeah. Oh, it’s like gosh. And then there’s AI. You know, which I think is the most retarded. Stupid fucking shit in the whole world.
Like, AI art. And AI music and it’s Oh my God, I got into it with this dude. I don’t think I posted about that in this blog. This guy named Paul Summerville I think I met him in the schizophrenic groups. 10 years ago, I used to because I was like,
How do I even say this?
Well, my mom schizophrenic. Yeah and I was like, you know, I don’t have normal. Shit going through my head, a lot of the time either. And so I’m just like, you know, Try to just I was really just interested in the whole thing and uh this guy.
I thought he was my friend, he would always like, comment stuff and, you know, it was funny a lot of times but here in the last year, he’s just gotten real like
Cynical and negative. And he posts this like, Just it’s he’s a conspiracy theory. You know, Nut and he’s also a giant pothead and he’s unemployed. I think he acts like it as much as he fucking posts and he lives in Canada. And he’s just like, he started attacking me because I would post pictures of like Food, I liked, you know, I’m at a restaurant, you know. And uh it started 1 of them. It really started his like his hostility. Uh, started a couple of years ago. I posted a, a video of me, uh, playing guitar. And uh I was at the when I got stranded up at the second car factory for like a week.
Oh gosh. But because my battery fucked up. In my car
And I didn’t want to miss any work, I was so close to, you know.
To being there a year and I didn’t want to miss any work at all. Uh, and so I stayed up there in my car until I got paid until I could afford to get a new battery, it was retarded. But he was just like just started laying into me about all the shit and how good I had it and How the, you know, people comment on my stuff and I get lots of interactions and he doesn’t get anything nobody cares about what he posts and You know, basically just being a jealous sack of shit that kind of you know, was like really? I try to be, you know, nice about it at first but he just And then I took a break from my main account because the Twin Flame chick was driving me so fucking crazy. I, I still can’t believe any of that happened.
The effect it had on me more than anything else. Oh, it just made me hate myself for a long time.
But um,
Yeah, last year and this year I guess what was it? March Maybe.
He just, uh, I don’t know. I’d posted a picture of me though. Last year. Uh it was like my first big paycheck. After I got, uh,
Moved in here. I think. Yeah. I was like I wasn’t homeless anymore. I was I thought I’d go out and celebrate and, uh, eat some Thai food. Oh, it was delicious. Yeah the first like big paycheck. I have with all the overtime and shit. I think if I’m thinking about that right? Now, no, no, it wasn’t.
The first big paycheck, but it was a big paycheck. Yeah, it was the first big paycheck I had gotten. What am I talking about? How am I
Anyways, I just gotten paid. Okay? And um, you know, I was working 6 days a week. They wouldn’t let you work 7 days a week up there but I was working 60 hours a week. I mean, just running my ass off at this place so you know and there’s a lemon demon song called I earn my life and it’s funny. It’s making fun of all that shit. And uh so I posted you know I earned my life. And I just kind of got into character about it, you know? And uh,
Somebody commented everybody earns their life you know just people taking some people take me way too seriously and I’m like what about bums? And this guy gets fucking, you know, what do you mean bums? I’m like, you know, people who don’t want to work. So he
Just fucking starts telling me off about how I Spit on people and all this shit. And I’m just like, okay,
I just deleted it because it killed. It was almost like it killed the fucking Vibe of the picture and he um, actually said something about that in another post. Uh that I had made. I was a good vibes only. Robot. He just started attacking me and telling me how I was a Lego person and all this shit and I’m like
4:23 PM
Okay.
And, uh, he blocked me. He ended up blocking me, but he sent me a bunch of messages too telling me how I’m I was schizophrenic. And how in the head. Um, you know, I had a, a Gateway and I’ve read about all this stuff, I know all about this shit. Oh, you know, and how I was like I had like extra sensory perception and I could do all this. I had a gift basically and I needed to learn how to use it and manage it. He was telling me a bunch of crap and he misspelled, everything and, you know, I’m just like, you know, what do I say to this shit? So I didn’t really reply and he got mad because I ignored him, but it’s not that I ignored him, I just didn’t really Care. And I didn’t.
Feel. I didn’t know what to say. Yeah. And I just sensed this hostility from him, and he ended up blocking me. And so, I got on my other account, because all his shit’s public, and I just let him have it and told him, what a big stupid asshole, he is.
And but he used Ai and like all this conspiracy theory stuff, you know, he was into and he’s a writer. In his mind and a champion of the people. Just makes up all this stuff in his head and and by himself and he’s just an asshole to everybody who questions anything he says and that’s why nobody comments on his stuff or interacts with him.
But he hurt my feelings, and I told him all off and It’s like, you know, he was like AI was going to take over the world and you’re going to be replaced. Your factory job is going to be replaced by AI robots and All this crazy shit. And I don’t know, I was just I guess thinking about AI how lame it is. But he used it to help him write stories because he thinks of himself as a writer and to like make pictures. To go along with his stories. And it’s just the Cringiest. Oh, it just makes me want to vomit thinking about it.
But I guess that’s kind of. Yeah, that’s kind of the the new thing lately is AI, I don’t know. It’s really stupid.
What was my point in? Any of that? I was just thinking about that, dude.
Because you know, despite all his conspiracy theory like paranoia and how everybody was stupid, but him he embraced AI technology. I guess the irony of that. Yeah, I don’t know.
And that’s another crazy stupid thing that has been popping up. I’llbbe scrolling through Facebook reels. And, uh, a lot of video game, like, retro video games, uh, you know, like Nintendo and stuff. Which is my the era of video games. I really grew up with
And there’s all these damn kissing apps that keep popping up in the advertisements. Like
Just, it’s just annoying and lame and I don’t. Makes me not even want to. Scroll through Facebook reels anymore.
I think I need to do something else.
Yeah, I’m just just laying around all afternoon being lazy. It’s like gosh.
Get lost scrolling and all through all that shit.
Fucking study languages. I said, I could I didn’t say the F word.
Haha. I got all the garbage out of my room. I think I said that already.
I could refill my water bottle.
It really is. It’s like, damn, I could just go to the store and get something to drink. But I’m not, I’m going to try not to
Because, um,
Well, it’s bad. Yeah.
Yeah, I feel all kinds of weird. My sister messaged me earlier too did, I mention that in another, in an earlier post In the last post, I don’t remember. But um she’s like, what are you doing? And I’m like Hey, I just woke up. You know oh how are you?
And she’s hasn’t replied all day long. I think that was at like 10:00. A.m. this morning.
Uh, and then I looked at her Facebook and apparently she got married last week. I didn’t know anything about it.
I don’t know, I don’t even feel like I have an immediate family anymore.
Like, And I don’t care either.
Sometimes. I wonder why the hell I Even stayed in Alabama, like
Why the hell I even got married or anything in the first place? But and I’m glad I did. I wouldn’t take anything for my kids. I just miss them all the time. Hopefully, I’ll get my car fixed next week and then I can go see them. The first thing I’m going to do.
I guess I just spaced out thinking about how different I am from my sister and My dad’s family and
How different I am from my mom. And that’s another thing like I was kind of wondering, you know, maybe it was about like my mom, the uh,
Whenever my sister decides to have the memorial service,
You know, but I don’t know why she couldn’t just message me back and tell me stuff. I don’t, I don’t know. It’s not like she’s
The busiest person in the world or anything.
That’s just how my sister is. She’s 1 of those people. You never can get on the phone. And they never text back. They’ll text back like 2 or 3 days later. Like, oh yeah. Hey. I remember, uh, when she lived in Jacksonville and she was going to college and I lived in Jacksonville. Um, Like you couldn’t get a hold of her. Sometimes you wouldn’t hear from her for like a week, she just doesn’t give a shit and my dad actually, like, made me. Go find her 1 day and because he hadn’t heard from her in a week. And, uh, You know, make her call him. And it was like I had to go it took me like half a damn day to find her too
And she would do like dumb shit. Like run out of gas, you know? Just I mean that’s my sister.
And not because she didn’t have the money, you know, Dad actually gave her a gas card. Yeah. Back then I remember
She just wouldn’t get gas and then run out.
And then she told my mom, a bunch of mean stuff. Last year I read, I was refilling my mom’s phone minutes because I paid for my mom’s phone. And, I was like, I don’t know wonder what they’ve been talking about, I guess, you know, just being nosy. And I was like, oh my God.
Yeah. And then I asked her about it’s just like, oh I was just drunk, you know, I was like oh whatever. That’s exactly how you look at me. That’s why we hardly ever talk anymore. That’s so crazy.
I feel weird. Like blabbering The way I am in my room, I’m afraid people outside my room can hear me and I really should just be doing this in my car.
I’m just,
Bored. I’m bored as hell. Yeah, so I’m going to make a blog post. I don’t know.
But I could, I’ve got this, uh,
Assamese self-taught book. Yeah, I bought it. I actually had a copy of it 1 time and I gave it to
My cousin, as a birthday present. I found another copy and I was like, hell yeah, cuz it’s a cool little book. Cuz it’s a cool language.
Yeah, I don’t know, I just had to go to the restroom real quick. I’ve drank so much fucking water today, this afternoon. I think that’s why I’ve got
Energy to talk so much.
Got to stay hydrated. Most people don’t drink enough water. But I do. I’ll drink. Fuck sometimes. 2 or 3 gallons a day. Not even exaggerating. I bet I’ve drank every bit of a gallon this afternoon.
Got to go downstairs and refill. My water bottle.
But yeah, like I wanted you know I could do music but I’ve been doing it so much the last couple of weeks, I’m kind of kind of burned out on it right now because I can’t do the vocals. I had. Can’t do. I can’t do that here.
My stuff’s too weird. And I don’t know.
Well, the concept album stuff is too weird. Yeah, it’s it’s too weird for like
Other people to have to hear it. I can pack it all up though, because, I mean all I need is my laptop and the interface. My microphone. I can go somewhere in my car and Do it in my car, like some Weird parking lot.
That’s actually what I did. Uh, when I recorded this song called pieces of Bob, a couple of years ago,
I went to the state park actually and sat in the parking lot of like this where the hiking trail and stuff was and did those vocals and uh
That yeah, that’s that’s where I did the vocals In my car at the park.
Recording music is probably 1 of the most fun things that I do.
But I’m going to have to eventually get like
Some real monitors with a subwoofer because a lot of this stuff has so much low-end that it doesn’t register on this cheap ass. And I, I’m not knocking it, it’s a great speaker, but it doesn’t have the frequency range required, you know, to make.
To accurately, you know, mix. Recorded music. It it’s like a monitor though. It gives me kind of an idea.
Of how it sounds but it’s not the same as a studio monitor. Like real studio monitors would be and that’s what I’m actually. That’s probably the next thing I Bought after, uh,
I said, buy it and it says bought it.
Yeah, I just didn’t.
I’m running out of steam.
Yep.
I don’t even know where.
I started going off about.
The Human Experience and then I ended up where I’m at now with My brains.
Yeah, I’m just Bored. At least I’m doing something.
Yeah, I guess I’m going to fuck with the bathroom tomorrow. I need to
I need to just not drink alcohol tonight. I’ve got tons of food. I have like 4 cans of canned soups.
Of Campbell soups. Yes, and I’ve got like shit tons of ramen.
I’ve got eggs.
That’s what I’m fixing to start. I think I’ll get paid next week. I’m going to be super broke like, super duper broke.
Uh, after I get my car fixed pay my roommate who takes me back and forth to work and pay rents and just that’s like going to be All my money. So I’ve got a bunch of ramen. I’m going to eat for breakfast. The week after next. And then, Uh work that Monday. I’ll be super broke but after that, I’m off the Tuesday till the next Sunday and I’m like, Really happy about that.
Let’s see how many vacation hours I have.
And apparently Mario 2. And I knew that I think Oh, was this game called Doki Doki Panic.
And they just made it into Super Mario 2 and released it in the United States.
Yeah, and then all the comments. What was I fixing to do? I was going to look at my PTO. Yeah.
Saturday afternoon.
D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D.
That’s how it’s picking up me humming.
I don’t think that’s called humming. It was like,
It didn’t even pick those words up.
4:43 PM
Let’s see my time off.
72 hours left.
That’s really cool. So I still got almost 2 weeks vacation.
Left.
What an awesome job. I mean, they work the fucking shit out of you, though. Oh my God.
Holy shit, but it’s worth it. That’s like the best job ever.
I’m going to be there for.
Until I win the lottery or die. Or like
My music or something. If I get it like Money start getting more money from that, I don’t know. Like I’m ever going to, that’s not. Yeah, I’ll probably never do anything professionally like that with music except maybe get out and play some shows and stuff. I’m not at that point. Anymore. Because My voice is really out of shape, it’s
Retarded.
It’s so hard not to go get alcohol. I mean, I think it would make me happy.
Probably motivate me to go out to the garage if nobody’s out there and practice my stuff.
My voice is so out of shape. I was singing the other day at work and uh, it’s just like no.
No I need to stop but I have made up a lot of songs in Spanish. Oh my gosh speaking of which the uh that demonita chick. I thought quit. Yeah, she came back. And I was like, oh crap, I thought she got her bonus and quit. A lot of people did.
Well. I guess I’m just going to edit this. I may not even post it. Thank you, please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 