11:40 AM
Hello.
I’m just laying here in my bed. I called in to work.
Woke up feeling really awful.
I just got run down.
Awful.
Yeah, awful, I feel fucking Pathetic. Really. It sucks. Yeah.
I went out early and got a salad from the food bar and some barbecue meat.
I’m just so tired. I was going to get a shower earlier and I’m like
No, I’m going to go lay down. Yeah, I’ll get a shower later.
I was going to call in Thursday.
But I don’t, um,
I don’t think that’s a good idea since I called in today.
And then, you know, next week, then the next week I have off except that Monday.
I really like my car. It’s a great car. I just wish I could drive it to work. I actually need to call the mechanic.
Um, Yeah.
I’m gonna do that here in a minute.
I get paid tomorrow and it’s gonna be really close with money. I’m not gonna have a lot of money left over. It really kind of sucks.
But you know, the next paycheck it’ll be fine.
I’ll have money again.
But, holy shit, I did. I ate so much food last night. But I woke up early, like I woke up at midnight. Talk about some crazy dreams, huh? Yeah.
Well I dreamt that I went with 1 of my cousins and 1 of his friends who I’d never met before and you know in my dream I don’t know who the hell he was. And uh we went driving around getting drugs. And delivering drugs and doing drugs. They were like, yeah, drugs!
And then we went to this, uh, Diner. I don’t even know what the fuck town we were in, you know, in my dream and uh, the waitress apparently knew my cousin very well. She was all like, hey, she blushed and
Uh, she gave him like this package full of drugs and that was my dream.
Then I woke up at like yeah that’s before I woke up at midnight and I was like, gosh, it’s got to be, you know, 2 or 3 a.m. nope. And then, of course, I get lost. Just scrolling through bullshit and then it’s like damn.
It was like 3:30 when I fell asleep, I think. And then I woke up just feeling awful. I think I’m getting sick actually like like the crud like sinus stuff. I’ve been sneezing a lot.
My body just is like. Really sad and my brain is sad because of that. But I had a pretty good salad.
I’m a huge fan of blue cheese. And blue cheese things like dressing.
I like weird shit, I guess.
Um, and the barbecue meat, I ate about a Third of the bowl. I’ve got the
Container. Yeah, it’s like a pound.
Gotta eat the rest of it.
Probably ought to put it in the refrigerator, huh?
Oh my goodness.
But yeah, if I hadn’t If I didn’t feel so crappy, I wouldn’t have called in
And then I had another dream. That me and my friend, Eric and my friend Brandon were putting on this show, And my friend Brandon uh, 1 of his relatives, really liked me and they wanted me to work for their Law Firm. And they were going to set me up with like all this stuff and buy me a suit.
And like, I don’t understand. But we had this big crazy party at their house.
And uh yeah that’s the dream I had and like the hour and a half I got of sleep after I went back to sleep from the other dream.
And then I fell back asleep. I called in to work about 5 a.m. and then, uh,
Slept until about 9:00. Yeah.
9:30, Maybe.
Just, Just going to lay here. Yeah.
It’s probably what I should have done all weekend, but I didn’t. I don’t know what the hell gets into me here, but no more drinking. Yeah.
That’s 1 reason why I didn’t get a lot of rest this weekend, and it just It’s all caught up to me. Yeah, the last 3 months working at this place has just kicked my fucking ass.
I guess I got to really take better care of myself. I did when I worked at the second car factory until the whole twin flame thing happened. I don’t know. I wish I could quit referencing that every other blog post.
Maybe it’ll come a day when I do.
I don’t know. It made me feel really horrible. I read so much stuff about it, you know, it’s like I think we were just too.
Opposite. Like the polarities are totally opposite polarities. It’s like, What would have happened, you know, if you touched to, you know, if you take some jumper cables You know, and hook it to a battery and touch them together and it explodes. Or you just, Put a piece of metal.
A bar over the 2, you know, over the negative and the positive ends and just blow the fucking battery up. Yeah, that’s kind of what it was like. I think that’s the effect. It probably would have had probably would have destroyed us both.
I actually made a few posts, um, in the, uh, in my other blog detailing like the mechanics Behind a lot of this shit. Yeah. It’s like
You know, fundamentally if you take the yin-yang model, She’s the hot dog and the black part and I’m the Yeah, she’s the hot dog. Haha
She’s the white dot and I’m the black dot in the white part.
Yeah.
I’m absolutely a black dot. I’m a fucking void. From Hell, really? Yeah, God, that’s why I’m so
Empty.
That’s pretty stupid though. Isn’t that a really stupid way to look at it? Yeah. I think I had made a post 1 time. Oh gosh what a crazy story too. Right. There’s the Secrets Club.
That I just fucked around in and somehow she got into it and read all the stuff. And posted stuff and it was crazy. It’s like she stalked me all the way into this group. And the only thing I could figure was my fake account, was friends with her fake account, and somehow that popped up as a group suggestion or something.
Because she sent me a friend request from her fake account. So I was like haha okay, here you go. I don’t understand what went through her head. I like, I just have no idea. It made me not trust her. It scared me even worse. I was like, what’s this chick going to do to me? My Mom was convinced she was trying to like, lure me off somewhere and murder me. And uh,
I don’t know, you know.
My mom had a Flair for the dramatic.
But um, I mean the whole thing was. Yeah, I don’t know. It’s like, am I really? Is it really that bad? Or is she just you know, fucking around or like what the fuck? This is crazy. I don’t know where to start talking about it. But um,
Yeah, I had made this post. I don’t know. It was like
It’s so fucking lame. To look back on it. I was like I’m not even going to say it. I’m going to edit most of that out actually.
Yeah.
It drove me so crazy. I was looking back. Like my Facebook memories stuff that I’d posted a couple of years ago. It’s really embarrassing. I posted so much stuff like for her and it was so
Oh gosh. Humiliating this chick like
Made a bigger idiot out of me than any other woman ever did. That’s crazy as a whole.
I still haven’t recovered from it. I still feel like a worthless sack of shit.
It’s gotten. It’s gotten better though. Yeah. I think, mostly what’s wrong with me right now is I’m just really exhausted. I don’t feel good.
It’s nothing. That’s you know rest some more sleep. It’s still kind of early. Yeah it’s nothing that that won’t fix. But anyways, I’m going to wrap this up. And I’m going to call the mechanic guy and see if I can pay him over the phone, Thursday. So I don’t have to like,
Take off work early or something. I don’t know. I just I don’t want to miss any more work like today. I just couldn’t not miss a day of work, but I think I’m going because I still have Almost 80 hours of PTO. I’m going to, I’m going to put in for some more days off and give myself some breaks in the next couple of months.
Few months or whatever so I can get myself built back up. Yeah, like going to the gym and everything. Because when I worked at the second car factory, I went to the gym all the time and I was like this fucking Like I never like I was working.
You know, that’s when I was doing the double shifts. And shit. Like you work. A fucking double shift at a car factory. I would like to see anybody else do that. Nobody else did that shit but me. Everybody told me how crazy I was too, that’s what’s funny. It’s like nobody does this shit, dude. You’re insane.
What’s $1500 a week paychecks weren’t insane. You had the kids and I had a lot of funny. A lot of fun, a lot of money. I had a lot of It. I’m so stupid.
Thank you. Please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 