THURSDAY EVENING

7:12 PM
Well.

I said, Hell,

Yeah, I booked The hotel for our fourth of July Adventure. It’s going to be like this big crazy thing all weekend and that’s what we’re going to do.

We’re going to have a lot of fun. I thought I heard a knock at the door, but I think that was 1 of my roommates.

Anyways, they gave us a bunch of overtime today and That was great, it wasn’t that bad. And then tomorrow I have to get through tomorrow.

Oh my God. And then I’m working like Half days Saturday and Sunday.

Damn it. It’s already after 7:00 p.m.

Yep.

Well, I went to the gym. I only had it in me though for like 200 reps.

With the weights and like, maybe 100 on the bench press. If that and I think I did 6 minutes on the treadmill. Hahaha. No. I’m going to do them tomorrow.

More tomorrow, because No overtime. They don’t give us overtime on Fridays in a rotation weekend.

Yeah. And then I get like,

I don’t know. I’m just gonna Save a lot of money. My next check this coming. Check there was a whole bunch of stuff I wanted to do. I was like, well I’m gonna go do all this stuff but I’m not.

The hotel room wasn’t really cheap for 2 nights, and then the kids are going to want. All kind of crap. There’s no telling

It’s my daughter’s late birthday, present is what it is. So yeah.

It’s the nicest hotel in that area. I mean it’s like a Holiday Inn but it’s like a really good 1. They got a bar and 2 restaurants. Actually, we were going to stay there. Oh 1 night but they were all booked up. I think that was, uh,

Shit, 3 years ago. Yeah, they were, yeah, they didn’t have any, it was like a Saturday and on a whim, a Saturday night. We were like, let’s go stay at this hotel. This looks cool and Then all of a sudden it’s like blam.

Yeah, they were booked up. But that’s what? I made the reservation 3 weeks in advance for Yep.

I can’t wait. I miss my kids so much. Oh my God. It’s just every single day. It Just kills me. I text them all the time though. I love them so much. It’s like a part of me, isn’t here

That’s the hardest thing. Yeah, like oh I wish I had a girlfriend and all this shit. Like I don’t Really. Care about that as much like even a fraction as much as I miss. My kids.

It’s crazy, you know? I mean to just

Oh God. I don’t know why I still think about this shit but like,

No, after the divorce like if I would have got the kids and the, you know, it’s it’s a long story. I don’t really feel like framing the whole thing but Yeah, long story short, I guess. Uh, I wouldn’t have gotten remarried, you know, if I would have ended up with the kids

Yeah. I wouldn’t have cared about any of that shit. The void was so great. For so long and it’s stupid. It’s not even, it’s not like

I’m actually happy being single now. But uh, you know, for a long, long time, it was horrible. I had

A year and a half.

Yeah, in 1 year and a half, I had

3 girlfriends and a fiance. Yep, I mean and that, you know, some people that might be normal for, but that almost killed me. And then I was single for a year and a half after that after the last girlfriend. And then Stephanie happened. Hahaha Yep. And I’ve been single for 4 years since her.

I’ve talked about this in my other blog but uh, my friend Justin told me the music, dude. He um, he was like, Stay away from women for 2 years 2 years. You’re so fucked up. You’re too fucked up today or anything just 2 years, work on yourself. And I wished I would have done that. Like that’s the best advice anybody ever gave me. Haha, for real. Like, you know, a lot of people are like, oh the best way to get over, you know. Somebody is to get with somebody else and I did. That’s the first thing I did after as soon as the divorce was Final because I did I held out until The Bitter End, I was like what if she changes her mind? She didn’t but uh, that’s the first thing I did like, 2 weeks later. I had a girlfriend. As soon as the divorce was Final on June the 1st, And she had just gotten divorced too, like we were hanging out, she didn’t have the same ethical standards as me. I think we’ve been together for a little bit, it was it only lasted like 2 months.

2 months.

I’m trying to think.

About 3 months. Yeah. That whole summer was uh, you know, I just I hung out with her a lot.

But my son met her, it was kind of like an off. Type deal. My daughter didn’t. And I can’t remember exactly why like my daughter wasn’t there, I don’t remember. Yeah, that was so dang, long ago. I was so messed up. I was still on a lot of medication then too. But uh,

Yeah.

Yeah, we were hanging out. I think it was like, maybe the end of June or maybe the early July and she got her divorce papers in the mail. I remember she went and checked the mail I walked with her. And she was like, oh my divorce papers and I thought, man, this is so weird.

I feel so weird about that.

But like divorce papers that had, you know, it was like papers that the divorce had was finalized. Yeah.

She was a really. Really cool chick. And in a lot of ways, we weren’t

We really weren’t. That compatible.

Overall, I don’t know. She

She was a psychologist. I think she’s the program director at this place now. Oh, I don’t want to talk about that.

She did a lot. She was just like, She was not a psycho. She was actually a really intelligent.

Awesome chick. Yeah.

I don’t know.

It’s just it was a really bad time for both of us to get together. I guess that’s really what it amounted to You know, I should have stayed away from women for 2 years. But I didn’t. I have to learn things the hard way because I’m stupid. And, you know, right after her, uh,

I met my ex fiance, like I broke up with this chick probably. Towards the end of September. It wasn’t long after my birthday. That’s a whole another story but I met my ex fiance October the 19th. So like a month after pretty much. Yeah, we split up. I met my ex fiance

And then about 3 months after that ended, On March 19th, I met the next chick and that lasted about 2 months. Both her and my ex fiance have 19 soul numbers. No shit, haha. And then,

I wasn’t really ready and I and I it was actually pretty um vocal about that with the next chick but she didn’t care for some reason. She just got all crazy. And uh, let’s see. I don’t That.

About 3 months later. Yeah. After The 1 after my ex fiance, I kind of got sucked into it. This it was weird how it kind of happened, she was an old friend of mine.

And uh, if I could go back, And,

Kind of miss.

1, you know, relationship. If like, that’s something I could have totally done without. Yeah.

She was probably the most.

Psychotic.

Controlling possessive manipulative lying. Just she was 1 of the worst people like but we were old friends so I didn’t really you know, think about how she would be in a relationship. I didn’t really I say old friends but like I didn’t know her that well honestly. I thought I did.

I thought, I thought I thought I knew her but she came along too. I was kind of in a really crappy spot when that happened because uh, House remodeling had slowed down. So bad that I ended up getting another job with this. Place called Newman which was a total shit hole. And uh I didn’t make, I don’t think I was making 300 dollars a week. After child support.

Yeah, totally. Totally was not making that much money. It was, it was shitty fucking money, probably 1 of the worst. It was the worst job I ever had. And uh, I worked there for

4 months, something like that.

But um, Yeah, I was just I was kind of like just in a really crappy place. I didn’t have electricity where I lived, I had gotten so depressed, you know, I was like, She came along and was so nice to me at first. And she took me to Walmart and bought me like a bunch of stuff like food. I didn’t have a lot of food. And she bought me like some pajama pants and all this shit.

I thought, you know, I was like well, Wow, this is great and she was just, it seemed really awesome at first And, Then it turned into this shit show because

She was lying about her sobriety. Oh yeah, it was so bad. And I finally just, got away from her

We didn’t have any fun we couldn’t. She was way more um, concerned with like what I might be doing behind her back. I was like nothing, you know, it’s crazy. I only wanted to love one woman forever

It actually traumatized the Fucking hell out of me. Haha Oh my God.

But yeah, after that.

I just I was forced to take a step back. And, uh, just be like, you know, what the hell am I doing? This is stupid, dude. And I did, and I was single for a year and a half after her.

I had gotten uh but I got a better job that’s when I became a QA at the chicken plant, which I actually have a lot of fond memories of because it

Anyways.

Yeah.

I, I think I’ve touched on that a little bit, in some other posts. I’ve noticed, I think yesterday, I’ve already made 110 posts with this blog, something like crazy. You know, like that.

Not other Blog has.

I said my other Blog has, I think around 700 posts,

Yeah, spackled over.

About 5 years. That’s a lot. That’s a lot of damn posts.

Especially considering I hardly did anything in 2024 with it. Until like that fall. It’s like about a year off. Yeah, I took about a year off from that blog.

I made other blogs this 1, uh, isn’t when I had made. It is.

You know, when I had made and I couldn’t get the format right with the, a new 1. So I just went back to using this 1. I’ve still got like the really early posts I made from last summer.

Uh,

In the drafts. Yep they used to not you just used to have to make them private like if you wanted to, uh, Take them away. But now you can just move them to the drafts. I like that. A lot better.

You can still make them private, though. You can make them wbere, you have to have like a passcode. You can lock them, I guess. Yeah. You can do all kind of funny things with blogs. With WordPress.

But yeah. Anyways, my point to all that. Uh, is the I learned a lot of really stupid, like, I learned a lot. You would think I would have known better though, but I didn’t really value myself at all.

Yeah.

But after that, last 1, I was just decided I was going to focus on, you know,

7:34 PM
The kids. And getting my life fixed. The void was just so like it was it was horrible.

And uh, but that’s gotten a lot better where I’m actually like hey, I don’t even give a shit. For real.

And there are, there’s a lot of Really sweet ladies where I work now but I’m like, you know,

I don’t really have.

I guess I really don’t care anymore. Like I did, it was just so like, oh so crazy.

I, I felt so empty and Like, You know, and I don’t feel that anymore. Yeah, that’s gotten a lot better.

I’ve talked about this stuff over and over though, right? Not quite the same way, but I just miss the kids now. That’s like the only thing.

I’m really excited about the Fourth of July weekend. We’re going to have so much fun.

Supposed to be a whole bunch of fireworks and everything over there and

There’s some really cool restaurants and I think there’s the German restaurant actually over there, and we might just go eat at that. I haven’t been there in about 10 years. Maybe.

Maybe 8 years. Yeah, because I took the kids there when my son was about 2

You know.

It’s funny like, we’ll go to a place like a Um, any kind of like restaurant, you know, a different kind of restaurant.

Even like when my daughter was little like little bitty she would eat like whatever like if it was Chinese food or Indian food. Or a Mexican food, or

You know Sushi any of that shit she would eat it like you know when she was like 3 and 4 years old, she’s like I Love Sushi dad!

And you can’t it’s like you couldn’t get my son to eat anything except for pizza and chicken fingers and he’s still like that. But he’s funny because we’ll go to uh, like Jack’s for example. You know, any place really Wendy’s or even Jefferson’s and he’ll just get a chicken sandwich with just the bread and the meat, he doesn’t like sauce. Any like mayonnaise or Ketchup or mustard or any of that shit?

He doesn’t like hamburgers.

He likes french fries though, but he doesn’t like sauces. He doesn’t like anything with his french fries or on his sandwiches.

And when it comes to Pizza, it’s pepperoni and cheese. Yeah, it’s really funny. My son is just that’s he likes. Plain ass fucking food. And my daughter likes. All the weird crazy shit like I do actually even crazier than I do.

She dips her french fries in her milkshakes. Yeah, it’s really funny.

She usually she gets the lemonade milkshakes from Jacks and she puts her fries in them. She dips her fries in her milkshake.

Oh, I just miss them so much. They’re the best craziest. Most normal people ever made.

It has, it’s been so hard the last couple of years.

Well, I guess I’m just gonna edit this and post it because I’m getting really, really sleepy.

Thank you, please.