SATURDAY

3:21 PM
Hello. Well, it’s Saturday afternoon.

I slept most of the day. I was wondering when that was going to happen, haha.

Finally got a shower. I haven’t had 1 since Tuesday.

Yep.

Oh, the internet’s down at the house.

And I’m going to have to use the hotspot on this phone. To. Edit this post on my other phone.

Yep.

And also my Chime account.

Chime.

Yeah, I’m having a hard time. I can’t log into it. It’s keep saying my internet connection. Is bad. But even when it’s not,

The kids have my cards.

Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking. I gave them my cards though. It’s like paying them back for what they spent Father’s Day. But they said, they didn’t care.

Uh, they got caught though, they’re at the beach. Um,

Buying Monster energy, drinks out of a Drink Machine Hahaha and their mom took them away. Yeah, I’m actually fixing to message her about that. It’s like I kind of need that money.

Yeah. That’s what I have left to uh, get me through next week. To, and from work.

You know, I talked about like I need to stop drinking and smoking and stuff, but I don’t, yeah, I’ve been, I’ve been drinking this whole time. It’s actually, uh,

It was really nice to sleep. All day. When did I wake up? I think I woke up about 1:00. Maybe a little. Earlier, I don’t remember.

I went to Food City earlier, I was going to see if they had like barbecue meat and stuff, but they didn’t have anything but ribs but the ribs are $20. And so, I decided to go up the road to Kroger. Kroger has ribs for $15 and I’ve almost eaten the whole thing of ribs.

Yeah, and I got some bread. I got some instead of buying those crappy uh, pre-mixed drinks from the cans like the club tails. That I enjoy because it’s just cheap shitty alcohol and it’s right there. Um, I decided to get a bottle of Evan Williams. I haven’t had any Evan Williams since the Work trips back in 2021.

And I thought, well, you know, I need to get a Coke. And It was right after I left. Uh, kroger so

I went to uh, yeah, the liquor store. It’s like right there on the corner and then made my way up to Publix. So I was going to see if they had Chickens or something, cuz really like 1 Thing of ribs is Not enough. And uh, of course. Publix didn’t have hardly anything either, but there was this chick there. And she scared the hell out of me. And it made me so nervous that, uh, just staring at me. Yeah, it’s like, I don’t know. I don’t know why I freaked out. I should have just been like, hey girl. I don’t know, but it freaked me out really bad and I just ran out of Publix and then I went to Walmart. I was so like shaken up. Isn’t that crazy? Isn’t it? Like I’m crazy as hell, right?

Yeah. And anyways I had to smoke a cigarette. And then I went to Walmart and got Coke and a couple of uh

Power AIDS. And a thing of chips,

Um, I got Pringles.

I don’t know, I don’t know what happens like,

I guess, you know, I talked about in a posts like I’m not running from love again but I have I do. A drink and I smoke and I run away.

I really probably ought to stop. Drinking though. I need to I really probably need to find a therapist too yeah. I had 1 a couple of years ago after I had the nervous breakdown but It sure was expensive.

I really can’t.

Like the thought of getting back on medication, just I don’t like, I was on a lot of medication, back in the day, like, 7 years ago. I just don’t want to go down that road again. Medications.

It works, but then you’re dependent on it, you know. And then the side effects, I was on 1 medication. That was the side effects were not worth it. It made me lactose intolerant and all this crazy shit.

And then, you know, I had Xanax and I had got that worked down to Klonopins but benzo withdrawals fucking suck.

And, I don’t know.

Being crazy sucks.

Yeah, it does. It’s really alienating.

But I’ve got my guitar that I just restrung yesterday and I think I’m going to mess with music here pretty soon.

Yeah, I mean why not?

Somebody found my blog. Oh my God, somebody read the shit out of my blog this morning. I wonder who it was? I could speculate but you know really I don’t have any idea who that was. They looked at my other blog too.

But yeah, I guess it’s kind of a weird day. I mean, the Internet isn’t working and I can’t get into my chime account, and apparently, I forgot my damn pin number. I don’t know how I would have forgotten my PIN number to my like debit card, the chime debit card, I have no idea.

But, I tried to use the tap to pay. Yeah, I’ve got that. You know and uh, On my um, My phone. I’ve got my cards on my phone. And my other phone. Yeah, I don’t think this 1 is capable of of doing that, but, uh,

Yeah, I forgot my pin and I don’t have my credit card on it, but I have the debit card on it. Anyways, it’s just frustrating. I need to text my

My ex-wife. I can tell her that. See what was up with those cards because I need them back.

Not being able to log into my chime account. It’s kind of frustrating too.

I don’t know if I guess they’re having a problem with it.

Well, I feel better. I guess I was still really like, I don’t know, I guess I have I’ve been through just way too much. Crazy fucking hell yeah. Is that like when a chick shows interest in me? It scares me instead of being like well, hey there, you know, makes me. It freaks me out, makes me run away. That’s pretty sad.

Yep.

Oh well, thank you, please.