SATURDAY AFTERNOON

4:56 PM
Hello, I just woke up.

What does that even mean?

Well, it’s Saturday and

The next 8 days Is I’m off work.

Is what that means. Haha

I slept from like 9:00 until around 4:30.

And I had these crazy dreams. I dreamed I was over in like Winston County.

Yea Alabama, the free state of Winston. I know some people actually from Winston County.

Uh, I have a lot of customers old Generator, customers from over in that area.

And that’s what the dream was about. I had to help remodel a house this big house with a wraparound porch.

In the dream not really? Yeah, it was crazy but it was like it crossed over the house remodeling job and the generator technician. Job.

Because at the house, they had a generator.

It’s really funny. How dreams, you know I still have dreams that I’m like Working for my dad or something, or still doing house remodeling.

I thought about calling my old boss and seeing if he had anything going on next week, but I don’t have the gas money to get started going down there.

And to be honest, I don’t really want to do anything. Yes, I do. But I, I don’t, it’s like

I don’t know.

I have 8 dollars.

I guess I could like holler at him and be like look if you could pay me like for the first day you know so I’d have money to go back and forth.

For the rest of the week, but

I think I’m just going to kick around here and work on music.

Lift weights.

Walk around. I’m not going to do that today.

But I’ll probably do that tomorrow. I have uh, I went to Walmart when it first opened, I got there right at 6:00. And I bought hot dogs and hot dog buns and this big thing. Of Great Value chips that I wish I would have gotten something different.

Yeah, I haven’t really eaten like the generic Walmart brand stuff in A long time.

So I kind of Forgotten like it’s not the best stuff, it’s not like the dollar store, you know, their generic brand shit. It’s really good.

I actually prefer their potato chips.

But I’m still going to eat them. Yeah, I just actually ate a whole bunch of them. I’ve got about half the bag, eaten

But yeah, crazy dreams.

A dream that I had like.

Uh, also in that dream. The same dream I had to go to this other place. And talk to somebody.

And it was in the middle of this like swamp. Thing, but it wasn’t. A swamp. It was just had a lot of water in it.

And I had to drive over like this road. That had water going over it, which actually exists in Omaha, Alabama. Yeah.

It’s really crazy cuz I have I’ve been all over like these remote. Rural areas.

And, Uh, in the state. In Alabama and Georgia and Tennessee. Some of my best memories working were doing generator stuff. The times I was by myself, haha.

My old life.

My life is so different now, it’s like, it doesn’t even feel like any of that. Ever happened.

Feels like a dream.

Feel like I woke up from a dream in 2018. Or a coma, haha

It was crazy, though.

I always wanted to do something else.

But I made the most of it.

It was 1 of the reasons why I never was.

Completely happy like being in business with my dad. It was something. I felt like I had to do. Not something I really wanted to do. And uh, Well, I always thought things would get better with my ex-wife. You know, and they they never did.

And it’s not that I didn’t love her.

Or anything, I did more than gosh. I loved her more than life itself, but

Her And I were so like, Energetically incompatible.

Stuff you didn’t you know stuff I didn’t think about would matter like when we first got together the first few years we were together. Ended up mattering a whole lot, you know, a decade or so down the road.

I never could do enough. And then it just ended up. I just folded, you know.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot the last couple of months. Well, not a whole lot but

Just my whole life.

I never could get away from my dad and until I finally, like, You know.

Had enough of it.

And all of that happened at the same around the same time, you know, my dad and I had a falling out, which was

Really just me standing up to him and, uh, You know.

My ex-wife and I split up. But basically I just had enough of her bullshit too. I was so depressed. Yeah. All that happened at the same time like within the same week or so.

And,

Crazy. I was so embedded with all that. That it’s like, I’m still.

Well, I thought I’d finally found my Barons and then

My burying.

My bearings.

Yeah, thanks.

Whatever. However that

And then I just feel kind of dumb talking about it.

I still need to post pictures from The Farmhouse.

There’s a part of me that wants to get alcohol.

And just spend the last 8 dollars, you have just spend the last 8 dollars, I have just do it. Just go get it. Like what? That’ll get me.

3 drinks. From the fucking gas station.

And then I’d probably pass out and then I’d wake up and feel like shit

I haven’t drank regularly in 3 weeks, I guess.

The last time I had a, you know, when I took all that PTO

I guess it’s been, you know, about 3 weeks.

Almost a month. Really you, you know,

Yep.

Well, I’m tired again so I might just go back to sleep. I can Haha.

Thank you.

Please.