SATURDAY

8:21 AM
Oh my God. What am I doing? Storage unit. Yep. Working on the vocals for this concept album.

Supposed to go do music with Eric and Rusty this afternoon. We’ll see. Yeah. However, that Plays out.

It’s raining a lot. Which is perfect weather for recording, haha.

Twin flame chick has, been all in my brains this week.

I don’t always know what that means.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I don’t.

But, uh, I don’t know figured I’d make a blog post. I left all my stuff at Eric’s yesterday. I had to go get all of it earlier. I went And hung out with Eric because I hadn’t seen him in a year. And uh,

I got reminded of a lot of things though of why I hadn’t seen him. In a year.

But it was good to see him you know, he’s the closest thing I got to a brother.

Yeah. He is.

And I am just. In my storage unit. It’s funny though to go back over in that area, which I guess I haven’t been out there in Aroney since November. The last time I did any work for my house remodeling boss. And uh, it’s just

I’ll stop at the hey buddy store, I stopped at the hey buddy store. And, My chicken with the, uh, the fourth chakra. The heart chakra. He’s holding the heart chakra.

He’s blue and the heart chakra is green. Uh, that’s still in the bathroom. Haha. And I don’t know, it’s just it brings back a lot of memories. Because those were 3 of the most special years ever. When I lived there but I was so fucked up and broken.

But I wish, and I said, I’ve caught myself saying this a lot lately. I wish things could have been different. With a lot of things, right? Oh yeah.

Yeah. I don’t know what all it means. A lot of the time.

But I know that.

A lot of my mom’s stuff. Well, some of my mom’s stuff is, in my storage unit because it was really just a matter of practicality and it makes me sad.

I miss my mom.

I really do.

I have a toaster oven.

There’s my old uniforms from the second car factory.

And my certificate.

Have I successfully completed the onboard training?

Oh, this is my mom’s address book.

It’s pretty old because this is when my phone number was 8784325. Yeah.

I don’t even remember what year that was.

That’s like the early 2000s.

My poor mama.

I mean, talking about things that I wish could have been different right. Did I?

Write. I said,

You know what I do. I’m, and I’m really tired right now. I don’t know what the hell got into me this morning. When I got up at like 4:00 and went and I got Waffle House. And then I was like, dang, I need to get to recording Well, hanging out with Eric, you know, yesterday, I got pretty drunk. Yeah, I’m feeling the effects of that today. It’s not like a hangover.

It’s just

I feel retarded.

But anyways yeah like I wonder sometimes if I did the right thing by takin mom to my sisters and maybe not trying to take her to my aunts in Arkansas. Yeah.

Or something.

Parents can be. Really hard. And I know I don’t have I didn’t have the worst parents by any means at all.

But I miss my mom, I really do. And sometimes I miss my dad. I can’t talk to my dad. I can’t have like a normal like anything with my dad because he’s, you know,

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with him you know?

There is yeah.

Gosh. But at least he’s got a decent you know, lady now. And uh, The best I can do is just hope my dad’s happy, however, 10 15, 20 years, he has left.

Just let Dad be happy. You know, finally let him be like

Yeah, just happy. And, and that’s it.

But I guess like talking about, you know, taking my mom to my sister’s. Uh, like I did.

I mean, she hasn’t even Had the memorial service yet?

Yeah, she had talked about doing it around mom’s birthday, but that was been

A month and a half ago. Almost. So yeah.

I don’t know, I just wonder about all that sometimes.

Of course she just got remarried, too. But I’m not going to. I’m not going to talk a bunch of crazy stuff about my family. I’m just thinking about everything. And being in my storage unit, you know, all my stuff from the years. Throughout the years, here’s a airplane F-16. I got when I was 7. You know, I mean, Just that kind of stuff.

How insanely depressed I got last year.

Oh my God. And earlier this year.

Sometimes I’ll uh, look up the news. And just poke around what the, you know. News headlines are these days.

I feel like somewhere I missed something.

Yeah, that’s how I feel.

God damn, I’m tired. Yeah, Jesus Christ.

This just starting to hit me because I sat down and I’m like derp. Derp. Yeah.

Well, what else can I say?

Maybe I’ll eat Mexican food for lunch, huh? Haha, I don’t know.

Thank you. Please.