TUESDAY

1:06 PM
Hey, let’s make a post. Let’s take the other 1 down though, right? Yeah, I went way too far. Talking about crap.

Been practicing in the garage today, I don’t have the gas. To get to the storage unit.

And work tomorrow, haha. So Yeah.

But it’s time to take a break. I think. The cool thing about practicing in the garage at home, is that I have all my food. And stuff here and I have my bed if I get tired.

Of course, the cool thing about the storage unit is

I can be insane. Insanely loud, and

Completely isolate myself, you know, I can’t do that.

Really so much here because I have 5 roommates. And you know, most of the time though, we stay out of each other’s way but every now and then I’ll be like in the middle of something you know, practicing in the garage and all of a sudden 1 of them will walk in there to get like Something out of the refrigerator or just something out of the garage and it will scare the living hell out of me.

That happens, of course. Uh,

Oh gosh. Yeah, this chick came by the storage unit yesterday. Did I talk about? I talked about that in the last post that I’m fixing to take down because I went way too far talking about. Eric,

You know, ultimately I just

I don’t know what to say. I feel bad on 1 hand like for Eric, but on the other, like he’s

He can be a real.

Insufferable fucking jerk. Yep. And

I don’t know that I want to keep like doing music messing with that stuff because of it and that’s pretty much all I can say it’s just been a lot of crap over and over and over. The last. Epecially the last 5 or 6 years.

I don’t want to talk about it anymore, and yeah.

Um, but yeah, some chick, it was kind of funny some like I don’t know what she was doing. She walked right by the uh storage unit door.

Because I’m inside it’s climate controlled and I was just hanging out on this wicker stool.

Just rocking as hard as I could and she walked by the door and I almost fell out of my damn. Like, fell off the thing. It scared me so bad. Haha but then she kept walking around the parking lot on her cell phone and then like she left and drove over to the dollar store across the street. And I just kind of I was on my like I was winding down. Anyways, I was, uh, I did about. 4 songs while she was there though, she was there about 15 minutes and Then uh, kind of

Was, I mean I was on my way out but it just, I don’t know. It’s like, what? What is she doing?

But, you know, like other people have storage units and stuff, it was just kind of weird.

But then, I left and went home.

I’ve been going pretty hard this morning since about 8:30. I guess. Another thing about doing music here is uh I don’t have to drive so far but also other people rent out like space in the garage. That my roommate. The 1, I give money to who owns the house. Yeah she uh, She rents it out for like to people and sometimes they come in there and That would be awkward.

And scary.

Haha. There’s pros and cons I guess to both. When I’m broke though, it’s I got to do it at home. When I have money I can go out to the storage unit because the dollar store is Across the Street. I can get food And uh, you know, alcohol sometimes If I want it. I wish I had some right now actually, because uh, I uploaded a couple of videos. To Facebook and neither 1 of them were my best performances of anything. But Uh, I did Devil Woman, which is

That song is about 20 years old. Yeah, I wrote it, I made it up I guess for my ex-wie before we got married. Yeah.

And uh,

Yeah, that song pretty much sums up.

Sums that all that up but you know the 18 years we were together.

I have crazy dreams about her too, sometimes you know, I don’t ever think about my ex fiance anymore which I never, you know, I was wondering when that was going to happen. I almost said, I didn’t think that would ever. I never thought that would happen, but I’m glad, you know, eventually it Like, Faded a lot. Especially after I encountered the Twin Flame chick who I dream about her a lot too. The twin flame chick, not my ex fiance hahaha

Um, I had a dream that she was. She hosted this radio program. And that her, uh, Her intro music. She used was this like riff thing I did.

I don’t know.

But yeah, like a lot of times I’ll be hanging out with the kids in my dream or something. And my ex-wife will be like she’ll like text me or she’ll get on to me or make me do something responsible or you know, I don’t know this fucking phone. I swear to God, I’m all jacked up on caffeine but my body’s tired from playing a bunch of crazy shit and yelling. So, I’m like,

I’m tired. I have a lot of energy, but my body is too tired to express the other like through any other way. Than me talking. Haha, haha.

Um, I lost my train of thought.

I have a lot of Dreams sometimes where I travel a whole bunch and that’s what happened in my last dream. I drove like all the way to Like South Dakota through Colorado and all this shit, it was crazy

I love traveling.

Um, I don’t know.

I just don’t know.

I think maybe later I’ll go back out there and try to do another video. I did yeah 2 videos and 1 of them. Uh, like demonita

Demonita Yeah, she’s like

I just, um, it was, it was horrible. I need to practice that song a lot more before I make a video of it and upload it. But I took it off Facebook, it’s still up on Instagram and because a couple of people liked it on Instagram, my daughter, liked it, which made me happy, but

Um, I just don’t. I don’t think I’m going to, I think I can put a better version up on Facebook. Maybe either later today or some other Time and I tried to do king of the road, but it, I, I can’t, I’m, I was my voice and then, uh,

I tried to do. Concrete block house. And what I’m what’s happening to me? Right now is I’m experiencing burnout from playing. From practicing nonstop for the last 5 days.

I’m going to take tomorrow, you know, take a break from that tomorrow and Thursday. But Friday, it’s back to practicing and then I got to get the kids.

I don’t know.

You know, I think I’ve still got a little ways like to go before. I’m ready to get out and play. Open Mic nights again. But I need to get a pickup for my acoustic.

That’s my main instrument is the acoustic guitar.

I’m fucking crazy. I’m really fucking just completely insane. I’ll read my articles and stuff and they’re a lot more positive than they were, you know, like on this particular blog. But I was reading some stuff, I posted 3, 4 years ago. Um, on my other blog and it’s like holy shit. What the hell was wrong with me?

But I really was that sad. Sometimes I would get so hopeless feeling and I haven’t felt that way. Oh, since like, My mom died, uh, towards the end of February and I was feeling like really, really down like suicidal almost again, and then after she died like that and my car, getting repossessed Did something to my brain. And then I was just normal sad and I got over it and I got better. And then I got this new job, which isn’t so new anymore, but

I’m just kind of like,

I don’t know, I guess other than the Twin Flame thing driving me nuts. You know, still

Everything’s actually pretty good. Yeah, I’m not sad, I’m tired. You know, I get to feeling weird about things but

I’m burned out on my songs. I need to like, come up with new ones.

Yeah. Yeah, I’m kind of at the point now, where I’m just like talking, For the sake of it, I don’t really have anything else to say.

Uh, thank you, please.