SUNNNDAYYYYYYYY

3:59 AM
Well. I just woke up, like,

30 minutes ago or something.

Trying to remember my dream, but I can’t

Trying to figure out what the heck I want to do.

Well, I did. Um, yesterday I went to my son’s soccer game. And then I got him for, uh,

Oh gosh. It was so hot too. I got sunburned and it was awful. Everybody was miserable.

We went to Dairy Queen afterwards me and him. Yeah.

And got a blizzard. He got a Cookie Dough, Blizzard. And then we went to Jefferson’s an 8.

And 8. Yeah, delicious. Um, okay, okay. And um, french fries

I got the Philly cheese steak, french fries and he got the regular loaded covered. French fries

And then we went driving around. And we went to 2, Walmarts, and a GameStop.

And it was fun. I bought him. A Pokemon. Wait, no. It was a Dragon Ball Z action. Figure.

Yeah.

And then no I don’t know what got into me. I was like, man. I don’t want to go home, I want to go get lottery tickets. So that’s what I did. I drove all the way down which was only like it wasn’t even an hour away. Yeah. Uh, I got lottery tickets, and then, you know, I drove 2 hours on

Home from there. Yeah. And I wasn’t even hungry because I’d eaten so much.

But now I’m hungry.

And what do I want to do is then like As in like, um,

I want to go to Hardee’s. Yeah, probably the hardies in Scottsboro.

How far away is Scottsboro, because they open at 5:00 on Sundays.

My friend Arwa is messaging me.

Sometimes she just sends me lots of stuff. And then, I don’t hear from her for a month. Or 2 months.

But also got my daughter. Some sushi and left her 2 things. Um, sushi sushi? So she would be happy when she got home. Haha

Okay, it’s 38 minutes away. So I can’t leave. I can’t leave. I’m going to leave after I post this and edit it. Yeah, that that’ll be 38 minutes. Wait. It’s 405 now. So it’ll be, I don’t know my brains like and uh, it’ll be

Everything should align. Yeah. After I post this, then I can go down there.

And they should be open. They should be, you know, Probably after 5. Because it’s going to take forever to edit this. It usually takes me about an hour. To make a blog post.

I’ll talk a whole bunch depending on how much I talk. Sometimes I’ll talk for a fucking hour right? Yeah.

Well. Typically, I’ll talk for about.

20 or 30 minutes, and then it’ll take about 20 or 30 minutes to edit

Yeah, because I have to uh, read it. And then read it again. I usually have to find an image. A gif. Yeah, a gif.

Either way, right. Yep, I know people produce that. Pronounce that differently. I just I said pronounce really stupid and it picked it up as produced

On the way home last night, though, I stopped at. Oh, yeah, that reminds me. What county? I was trying to think like what county is Gurley in.

Uh, is it still Madison County?

It is, yep. Okay. Cuz I was like, well, that’s stupid. It’s probably in Jackson County, but it’s like right at the edge.

My old girly Town Hall.

You know.

Oh no, it’s got a Lengthy. Wikipedia page.

There’s a baseball picture. A baseball pitcher. Yeah. From Gurley. He’s famous. His name is Graham.

Ashcraft. And there’s a

Senator. Clemente Claiborne clay. Yeah, that’s his name. Just like that. And so his initials are CCC.

Another baseball player.

But he lived long ago.

And then a, football player.

Girly Alabama. Yep.

Well anyways, hold on. Where is actually the 1 between Jackson and Madison County. What’s that other Town? Paint Rock.

Yeah.

Well, the last couple of times I’ve went to the hardies in girly it has not been good. Yeah, the 1 in Scottsboro, hasn’t, let me down yet. And I’m crazy. I don’t know. I might not even go.

I’ve been getting a lot of likes on my Instagram posts lately, like compared to what I usually get.

What is practically known? Which is practically. None. I said as I yawned,

It’s funny. Like sometimes I really do want a girlfriend and it’s like, yeah, I’m going to talk to helmet girl and then like,

Right now, I’m scared. Yeah, sometimes it just scares the hell out of me like the thought of letting somebody in to my life again.

I’m going to clean my room today, you know? It’s

It’s probably messy like it is messy, but it’s probably a lot messier than anybody else’s room.

Oh, I’ve got wrappers, I got my honey bun wrappers, and I’ve got boxes of crap that I’ve

Used all the contents out of like my soups.

And the boxes are still there. I’m a really disheveled.

Uh, person.

Which is typical I guess of artists and people like me.

I don’t know. I’ve been like I’ve had to deal with like people’s crap like like calling me arrogant and stuff when I’m like, just confident about things. Like yeah this is a really good song. I did here’s some art, I did that was really good and like growing up my friends would be like, you’re so arrogant.

And uh, they were just being jealous. Hahaha

Which sounds even more arrogant. Right? But, uh,

A lot of, you know, really brilliant creative people.

Are total slobs. And that’s 1 of the things about like my ex-wife. She just treated me. Like I was this normal stupid person

So did my dad. Yeah, and it’s like I know it’s probably hard for y’all to understand that I have a really thin tether. To the physical plane. But I do. It’s like yeah. Just

Like I exist here, you know, and

This form, but

The rest of me isn’t here. Yeah, just like my body. You know, it’s like here yet, it’s me. It’s here. Yeah. But like my mind and all that is most of the time I’m somewhere else. I have a cousin who is brilliant? And of course he’s like the opposite. He’s anal about Like he’s OCD about Clean cleaning. And a lot of that, he got from his mom because his mom is like that. And I can’t imagine having her as a mom, but then most people couldn’t imagine having my mom as a mom.

Yeah, my mom was like

Really crazy about that kind of stuff, but

Something went wrong with me? Yeah, like As far as being clean and stuff goes, my mom always liked she Kept up appearances. Yeah, she never really was.

Uh,

Yeah, she’s just like, my ex-wife was like that, too. It’s like here’s how it looks, but then there’s how it really is.

But my cousin’s mom, you know, his dad and my dad are brothers but his mom Uh, she was the real deal. When it came to being really uptight and insane about cleanliness. As a matter of fact, we bought their house and when we moved in, we didn’t have to clean that house. For a long time for months. It was so like insanely clean. Which is a good thing, really? Yeah. It’s horrible to be a slob. I’m fucking gross.

But it’s because um and I’ve always been like this. Yeah, it’s just because I don’t exist here 100%. That’s really hard for a lot of people to understand.

On the other hand, that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, right? Yeah, and I noticed that too. Like most people are here, they’re present a lot more present than me. Oh my point though, to that my cousin. Yeah, he calls it detached. Yeah, because he’s detached too but he’s really meticulous and insane about cleanliness. He used to come over, um, when we were in college and clean our apartment My ex wife and I, he’d just Be like, You know, I’m gonna clean y’all’s apartment. Haha

It was really funny. He’s, uh, 1 of my favorite people. He’s my daughter’s Grande. Wait, Godfather. Yeah.

He’s the 1, who has authored textbooks. Medical textbooks in French.

But I do it gets to a point. It’s like I really do need to clean this up. Just for the it doesn’t like my room, isn’t it just looks really crappy. It doesn’t stink or anything because I put My laundry in a thing now. Yeah. Ha

Of course.

I don’t know, it’s time to clean it because I got my stuff out of the storage unit and I need to set everything up. To start tracking songs. Again, it’s going to be a little while before I go back to my storage unit and do music. Yeah.

I’m kind of hoping the Twin Flame chick. She just eventually at some point of course she pecked all over my shit yesterday. Yeah. Like I know she still stalks my stuff all the time I was going to say, you know, eventually maybe she’ll get bored with it and leave me alone, but I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. 100%. Anyways, But she knows where my storage unit is. That’s I think I mentioned that in another post and the last thing I want. Is for her to pop in at like 2 or 3 a.m. while I’m recording vocals.

And I mean, I don’t know how like I have no idea.

Because there’s a part of me that’s like, You know. Thought, maybe she was going to try to lure me off somewhere and murder me. Yep.

Of course I’ve got my guns in the storage unit you know. Yeah, like Sophie. In the storage unit. Yeah. So like if uh you know, it came down to it, I mean Yeah.

Guns and ammunition in my storage unit. Ha ha ha.

For real though. Yeah, if anybody came up, that’s actually the 1 of the reasons why I have that in there. Because, My storage unit is and kind of off in the middle of like, It’s not in the middle of nowhere, but it’s, it’s like a away from a lot of crap and it’s, uh, it’s in a really

There’s a lot of meth heads around there. Yeah, I guess.

And there’s a motel, the motel that my mom and I stayed in for about a month and a half uh is Across the 4 Lane like just a little bit up from where my storage is.

Yeah, I know. Gosh, that was this time last year when we stayed there until about the middle of October.

But there were some really like sketchy, uh,

Goings-on and people walk. Like up and down the 4 lanes and walk through like the storage unit. Uh, Breezeway all the time, I’ll be hanging out. Just playing my guitar in the hallway of where my storage units are because my storage unit itself is pretty cluttered up.

And, Like, just people will walk by Like they look, you know, like

They would steal your shit. So anyways, that’s why you know, when I’m doing stuff. At the storage unit. I’ve got my shotgun right there.

4:20 AM
I don’t know, but I can’t do vocals to some of my crazy music here at this house because I’m super loud. And Some of my music is really insane.

Yeah.

Not the stuff I like would go out and perform live. I mean like my concept albums and shit like this stuff’s really really crazy.

And I don’t sing in a normal voice. Yeah. Hahaha

Um,

I could do. I could probably do most of my co-worker songs here though but I like doing vocals in the storage unit because You know, I can be really isolated.

I also need to get some headphones. I broke my headphones. I mean I see them laying over there, but the The input Jacks. All fucked up and they weren’t that expensive. It would really just be

Probably be easier to buy a whole new. Pair of headphones and to fix these.

Yeah, I don’t know. I just wanted to make a post I guess.

But I do I need to work on music. I need to clean up my room and do my chores and get that done instead of waiting until like The last minute like I do every week or I do when I’m on night shift. Yeah. I’m so exhausted On nights, you know.

I’ll see, it’s 38 minutes until 5:00 a.m.

I like for it to be a little bit later. I don’t like to get to any place when it first opens but then do I even really want to drive all the way down there?

No.

I said, I don’t know. Yeah, we’ll see how I feel after I edit this. I’m getting hungry though.

But yeah, I need to get all that crap out of the way, first cleaning my room and doing chores. And then I need to, then I can work on.

Music and stuff.

I do Wonder, though, like what it would have been like if the twin flame chick and I

Would have ended up together. Wonder how that would have went and how long it would have lasted if we would still be together?

If we would still be together or if like we would have murdered each other or something really, insane would have happened or if we would just

Be having that much fun because You know, we We really liked each other that much. I don’t understand. And why we didn’t end up together,

Other than she was.

Awful. Yeah. I don’t I don’t really know but sometimes I think about that. I used to think about it all the time.

But now you know I’m just like well I don’t think it could ever be anything now because I mean it’s just It got way too over complicated, actually I’m I get. I’m kind of at the point where it’s like, I don’t want to talk about it anymore ever.

And I get really nervous about thinking about,

Talking to anybody but then it’s like, you know, helmet girl seems interesting. And she seems interested. And so it’s like, you know, all like the worst thing, she would just be like, either ignore me again because I know I’ve pissed her off by not talking to her, that’s how it goes. That’s how women treat me. And, um, You know, worst case scenario she would just be mean to me and ignore me. And then it’s like well I’ll never talk to you again and it’s fine which was kind of what how I thought. The last time I tried to talk to her it’s like, you know, It’s maybe it’s not obvious that I’m just a really awkward nervous, you know, idiot. It’s not, I’m not being an asshole.

Maybe it’s not that obvious. I don’t know.

But um, yeah, I’m not a normal person about anything. Like, Any kind of anything socially, you know?

A lot of that’s because I Had a really weird isolated. Childhood and I wasn’t socialized like a normal person and then all of the sudden it’s like here you go, start kindergarten. You’re a normal person now, you know, but I’m not. It was funny.

It caused me a lot of problems when I was a little kid. Until I got into High School.

You know.

But those are your most formative years.

Kind of sets, the trajectory for

Uh, how you interact with people the whole rest of your life?

You know, it does of course. I mean, you know you get a little older and You gain like a different level of self-awareness, you can fix this stuff. And I have my moments where I’m really personable and engaging. But, Um,

I guess that usually depends. I’m better in like a work environment Than I Used to Be than I was damn 2 or 3 years ago. Yeah.

Oh my God, a lot better than I was 2 or 3 years ago?

But,

I really do though I guess, yeah, I really do want. Another girlfriend. I’m way. Way overdue

For another romantic entanglement. I’ve said that probably 50 times in the last 2 weeks.

Well, I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know what else to talk about right now. I guess that’s everything.

Maybe I will. Maybe I will go to Scottsboro and get

Loaded on with a biscuit. A loaded Omelet Biscuit. Haha Yeah, and

Probably a gravy and biscuit with hash browns. And A large coffee or something. Oh crap, that’s what I was going to say. Uh, when I stopped in at Gurley, that’s what got me. Yeah, last night on the way in and I stopped at the uh, Circle K. And there was this lady State Trooper. And she was 1 of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. And I almost said something to her. I was like, man, almost just said, hey, your hair looks nice. Yeah. And she had like, a big tattoo on her arm and she just looked

It was like it took me off guard like real bad, it’s like, you know, I should What? She didn’t have a ring or anything, you know. So I thought like I should have got her number.

Ha. Yeah. She was that. She was that beautiful. Anyways. Yeah, that’s I guess. That’s it, though. That’s it for, For now.

Haha, thank you. Please.