1:06 AM
Hello, hello.
I just woke up.
Using the other phone I’m using. Other phone that doesn’t work. Great. With this app.
I fell asleep. Sometime before 8. And I woke up about 12:30 and I thought crap. I never sleep long enough when I fall asleep that early
Yesterday was a really long day. It sure was
My dinosaur song has gotten. Um,
People like it. Yeah, but it’s You know, it’s only got like 200 and something views. Uh, the Honda plant Blues has over a thousand.
Over 1300, I think. Now.
Guess I need to get out and start playing and stuff. I have some really fun songs on Banjo.
Why isn’t it?
Oh, it’s gave me this stupid error message.
I have to work Saturday, but it’s only half a day.
For some reason, I thought I was going to be working the whole day, but it’s just inventory.
And they’re like, nope, we’ll be out of here by 11:00. And that’s pretty good.
I get paid this week.
I have money still, and that never That never happens. That hasn’t That hasn’t happened.
Ever that I still have money. Like 1 day, before payday.
And I’ve been eating, I’ve been eating in the cafeteria.
I don’t know. You know, I’ll talk about like helmet girl and stuff. There’s a lot of chicks where I work who are just super cute. And it’s like, dang, you know?
And then there’s like the chick from Hardee’s Sunday. I was like
I should have talked to her. I think, I don’t know. It’s It’s crazy. It’s like I really do. I really do want a girlfriend but it’s like, man. There’s just so much. They get so possessive. And
Crazy. I can’t. I can’t. I’ve never had a girlfriend. Who wasn’t possessive and crazy?
1 of them told me. I was worse than any drug.
Well, at first, I was better than any drug, haha you know, and then and then I was worse.
And it’s like, that’s That’s really stupid. Yeah, I thought that was. A
Really mean thing to say, yeah.
I just exist, you know?
There’s a lot that goes you know that that comes with letting somebody into your life in that capacity at least for me, I don’t know.
And then there’s the kids. You know, the kids are like
The most important thing ever. Yeah. They sure are
And I just all this stuff goes through my head though. And, uh, you know, most of the chicks.
A lot of ladies like in their early twenties, And stuff like me. I guess, I don’t know. I seem really cool and I’m a lot of fun.
But gosh, I’ve been single for so long, it’s like I don’t know where to start, you know, it’s like, But it’s not as stupid as it was. I just I don’t get as freaked out. It’s just
I feel different like after my birthday it feels different now
It’s just, I’m a big stupid piece of meat to the ladies at work.
Oh wow. Start going off about this, right?
Oh, I wish I would have used my other phone. To do this, I have to hold the phone like right up to my face.
I remember 1 time uh, I was working at the car seat Factory and there were some crazy ass people there. Uh that’s the place I had to hide from this 18 year old. And I, you know, there’s lots of reasons why I did that and nobody else would have hidden from her, okay? But um,
Yeah, I know. Um, But there was this, uh, couple there. And they they uh, the chick was pregnant. They were engaged. It was her birthday slash uh, baby shower. And this lady, I can’t remember her name. She was like, you know, you’re an artist, you make cards, you know, why don’t you make her a birthday card or something? I was like, okay. You know, what’s her favorite colors? Her favorite colors are black and red.
And uh, so I made her this pop-up card. It was a fun little chicken pop-up card. And you know I didn’t think of anything of it. I think I put um I think I put like a gift card for $20 in there.
And uh, She, she took that card and she just thought You know, I don’t know what she thought. But she was just going to like dump that guy for me because I made her this card, you know, it’s like no, and, uh, it caused. This big fucking thing. And that guy wouldn’t even look at me for like a month. And I just thought, It was the dumbest shit I had ever. I had ever fucking it was just 1 of the dumbest fucking things. I was like, I just made you a card. You crazy girl.
You know, like I’m gonna get with some pregnant chick, who has a Fiance. You know, like I was trying to steal her away from him or something, I mean, that’s, it was like a big thing. And uh, oh my God. And that’s another reason why I keep to myself at workplaces. Of course nobody had probably ever made her a card before. That made me sad.
I just, I don’t know.
I rarely have anything in common with co-workers at factories and stuff because, you know, they’re entry level, just jobs, anybody practically anybody, you know. Most people don’t care about the same, kind of things that I care about. And so I just, you know, it’s like, I get really lonely, but I think I know I made that that was in a post I made, uh, that was passworded. Yeah, uh it’s like a cute chick, those like that’s just
What that transcends like interests or You know things you have in common you know a cute lady is a cute lady.
You know, it’s like dang it’s a pretty like Universal thing. Does that sound stupid? It kind of does, but it’s true. You know, if a lady is cute enough, it doesn’t make a shit. What kind of music she listens to?
I mean you know, it does ultimately but the whole like biochemical you know fucking stupid crap that messes up your brains Fucks up your brains, you know, that’s Yeah, it doesn’t matter. You know she could listen to contemporary Christian music which is the worst music on planet Earth.
Actually that happens. Uh you know, there was this 1. Chick. I worked with
That I didn’t get mixed up with, but it was like, dang, you know?
It’s just, it’s funny how that kind of stuff.
Uh, like like base, you know? Like Primal physical attraction.
Uh,
That’s a really powerful force. Yeah, it is. It’s like, you know,
It matters. Yeah, you know chemistry I guess. Yeah, that shit. You know, it’s not all there is but it fucking matters a lot.
1 of my ex-girlfriends I didn’t have hardly any chemistry at all with and that mattered. I didn’t have a lot of chemistry with my ex-wife either and that mattered a whole lot more than I thought it did. When I was 19, you know, when I was like About the time I was 30, you know?
Yeah, it it began to it started to matter.
I don’t know where the hell I am. You know, or what I’m doing. But I do, I have like this strict code of ethics and, uh, I was talking to my friend, Justin about that the other day in an email. You know, values and Uh, Convictions and, you know, stuff that make you
A decent person. Like I have a lot of that. I I hold myself to a very, you know, very high standards of behavior. Sometimes that gets me into a lot of trouble, you know, you would think it would keep me out of, but it it’s a lot of times it’s because I don’t do stuff.
It causes a conflict. It’s almost as much as if I would have done something. Like with the Twin Flame chick
I guess, though my point kind of too that is like co-worker chicks the thing. The only thing about that is because we’re all on the same schedule like life schedule, You know we work the same job and the rotating shifts and stuff, it’s like man, it would be nice to have somebody on this same schedule. But am I going to do this job forever? Well yeah, if unless something just happens with my music or I’ll win the lottery, This is like where I’m this is my job that I’m going to retire from.
And the top out pay is
Way way higher than any other job I’ve ever had like Factory job. Yeah I guess it. It’s
Like the, I guess the best I ever was paid was the generator technician job. But you know, that was all contingent on my dad’s stupid crap.
But I don’t even like hate my dad anymore. I did for a long time but he wished me a happy birthday this year and I was like, you know what? That’s fine.
Yeah.
Who cares? But my sister didn’t. Yeah, I think I mentioned that in an earlier post, I don’t even, I don’t even know my sister anymore.
It’s so crazy.
She’s just like my dad, though. She just uses people to get what she wants.
I mean, a lot of people are like that, though.
Yeah.
Crap. Uh, yeah. I guess though what was I saying your co-workers when I start getting uh getting out and playing you know and Performing again and shit I’ll probably meet somebody.
If I don’t, you know, if 1 of those co-worker chicks, doesn’t get me. I mean, it’s It’s a crazy thing, though, because a lot of chicks like, my ex-wife was like this too. Um, they don’t understand me being an artist and they just, it’s
I mean that’s probably not. How do I put this? It’s like, um, She was a piece of crap to me about stuff, she just didn’t think it mattered but it did and she was like, you know,
A lot of stuff about me she, you know, she liked how it looked to other people, like how I used to could speak 4 languages, you know, she would brag about how I taught myself french and all this shit and Latin. And then, you know, she would just give me endless shit about it when we were, at home you know, because I was always doing this or you’re always doing that, you know, but it takes time and effort and practice to be able to do anything, right?
It really, uh,
Oh yeah that was I told her once I was like you know why don’t you get a hobby or something and she’s like you know you are my hobby. I just kind of was like Well, you know, it was sweet. It seemed sweet at first but it’s like
Basically, she just, you know,
It was her way or my life was hell and she didn’t give a shit. She didn’t care about my dreams. You know. Or like anything. It was all about her ultimately. Do I really want to get lost in another fucking relationship like that? And I can’t be like,
I can’t like half ass another relationship either, which I never have, it’s just, I can’t. Um do another 2-month bullshit relationship?
I don’t know. But then, I mean,
I’ll probably take. I’m taking it too seriously. Also.
1:25 AM
But it gets taken, seriously. Yeah. Like it like every lady I’ve been with Has. Gotten insane. And I’ve broken it off you know I haven’t always been the 1 who got dumped because even though like when they they do break up with me like Stephanie they string me along my ex fiance did that. You know, my ex-wife Didn’t do that in a normal sense.
But she stalked my blog for years and You know, gave me shit about everything all the time like, you know, she was still all hung up on my crap. Until fairly recently.
I don’t know, it’s just I guess, because I’ve had,
More retarded, bullshit. Than I have, like great. You know, experiences with relationships.
But on the other hand, it’s like I’m
Oh, it’s like I’m just going to waste but that’s stupid way to look at it too, right?
I really do though like to express love and, you know, a new lady, I make up songs about her and make things for her and make her so happy. But, you know, that comes with uh,
A lot of other crap. Yeah, and then, you know what if she gets like And this, you know, this happens that’s what
I mean, this has been known to happen her getting like jealous of my kids. I had a girlfriend, who was jealous of my dog, you know, so like
And she would argue with my dog and yell at my dog. Like it was you know, it was just a little dog, my dog Gneegnerz she was jealous. Of my little puppy.
It was so stupid.
I don’t know. I really do want a girlfriend, though. I just don’t want a bunch of crap. She has to be really cool and awesome. I guess that’s why I put that in the tag, you know when I make a post. It’s like I want a really cool, awesome girlfriend. She’s got to like understand. You know that I’m a crazy artist person but I also have 2 most normal kids
And she can’t, like, Mess with that. So you know,
I guess everybody’s different. Yeah, I’m just, I’ve had I guess, I’m still I’m traumatized. You know? That’s uh, yeah. That’s So, fucking ridiculous.
Oh my goodness. I guess that’s about all. I have to say, I’m going to try and fall asleep.
For like an hour or 2.
Yeah. Thank you, please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 