WEFNDNESAY

3:17 AM
Well gosh.

I woke up at like,

What 12:30?

I went to sleep at. Fucking I was out before 6. Yeah, so I got what around 6 hours of sleep?

I think so.

I’ve been going to the gym. Well, I didn’t go yesterday. Wait, I did go yesterday. I didn’t go Monday. Yeah, it’s Wednesday. Haha. And uh, actually I think I mentioned that in an earlier post. That Friday, I went. Like, after work, I went home and went to sleep, but then I got back up and went to the gym.

At like 10:30.

I have to work Saturday, doing inventory. But that’s only supposed to be half a day.

Oh yeah, the gym though, there’s these 2 chicks who work in there and uh they kind of drive me nuts. They really do.

It’s funny.

At the second car factory. Nobody worked in the gym. I don’t know why those people are in there. I’m, I mean, It’s a whole different place though it’s set up completely different. Uh, they had the people who did those jobs were in the, uh, Well, actually, that was the same building. But not the gym. I’m like, what the hell is my brain? They had, uh, it was just laid out, totally different. Uh, they do like work conditioning and they call it work. Hardening at Honda But um, They have, like, I don’t know, their physical therapists or trainers or what, their official titles are.

I don’t know what the Official titles are but they’re, uh,

Like,

I guess like trainers kind of Um,

Because a car factory job is so physically demanding. It is, it’s insane. It’s insane. How much like And how everybody is just tired all the time? Oh, what’s the trade-off right? Well, they pay you pretty well. It’s a really well-paying job. Yeah, and the benefits and all the stuff. It’s a great job for like an entry-level Factory job. A car factory is as good as a factory job gets

There was a lot of stuff I liked about Honda more than I like about the place I’m at now but there’s a lot of stuff. I like about the place I’m at now that is better. Yeah that I like better. But Honda was an older company and of course, they did away with the swing shifts and I really do like swing shifts even though

That sounds. Kind of crazy. That’s like 1 of the craziest things too Is, um, I’m on the second week of days and I’m just exhausted. It seems like I did better last week, usually the first week is rough, but, um, like my sleep, schedule’s all screwed up still.

Like uh, like I slept all afternoon Sunday and woke up.

And then was up until like 2:30. Yeah, but I made the dinosaur video the dinosaur song video and That was worth it.

But yeah those chicks just drive me crazy. They’re so cute. I mean they’re they’re just like I don’t know, it’s like they found the cutest chicks, they could find and stuck them in The gym. Yeah, it’s really funny.

But um, yeah, I don’t know. I guess I’ve been making a post like every day. This is what

This will be 12 days. In a row

Yeah, I did. I messed up my post streak. I didn’t post, you know, for like 2 or 3 days there sometimes I’ll skip a day here and there but

I’ll still make a post on at least almost every day.

It’s hard not to because I got all this crap stirring in my brains.

But I woke up. Yeah maybe 12:30 and I laid here for a minute about 30 minutes and I was like, you know what, I’m going to go to the waffle house. I went to The Waffle House and I ate the most delicious. Chicken.

Melt plate. It was so good. You know, with bacon. Chicken bacon. Melt

And uh the lady who was the cook, she makes the best ones. There’s a guy who comes in there sometimes and Cooks. And it’s not as good but hers is like the best ever. And she was talking about how she worked used to work where I work and we talked about that and how hard the swing shifts are and stuff.

I don’t know. But at some point I’m gonna have to, like, taper off my caffeine intake because I’m just drinking

Lots and lots of caffeine and it makes me crazy. This is actually what happened to me at Honda as A uh, I was just pounding so much caffeine but then, you know, I had a stalker and it was just

I didn’t sleep, I started drinking I’ve quit like all but quit drinking you know, I don’t drink regularly anymore.

Which is great. But uh, Yeah, all that stuff. Contributed to me having a nervous breakdown

No, the Twin Flame chick. Yeah. And it’s like I am so tired of talking about this, though. It just pops back in my brain sometimes. Because some I really do like Miss

I really do miss the second car factory like of course you know here I am at a new place. I can still have a Career.

It just it’s like I lost 2 years there. Almost. That’s, that’s a big.

I don’t know. It’s gotten better though. Yeah, I just I’m just thinking I was like, gosh.

I don’t know, you know, I entertain the idea of like, you know, get like finding somebody getting, you know, having a girlfriend or whatever again. And then, when it just comes down to it though, it’s like I’m still Still freaks me out. It’s like gosh, you know.

And then, uh,

I just don’t oh the thought of like another breakup or something. Just

I’m just not normal. Yeah, I’m not about any of this crap. I’m just, I’ve been hurt too much. And all that just is still there. Yeah.

It’s so stupid but that’s what keeps me out of. Um a lot of it I mean there’s been So many ladies, I ran away from in the last like,

4 years, you know, 4 and a half years.

Just because it’s like, oh, I’ll get hurt. I mean yeah I will you know that’s a huge possibility, and I don’t know like all he wanted to love 1 woman forever right? But

I just don’t. I just don’t think that’s going to happen, you know, I just don’t think.

I don’t know and I can’t imagine myself ever getting married again or having like a family, the family unit thing. I think that was like a once in a lifetime deal for me.

It was great though there for a minute. I mean you know for a span of about 6 years it was fucking that was the best of my life ever was. And I miss my kids all the time. I was actually laying here earlier, I started crying thinking about how much I miss my kids.

It’s horrible.

That’s not something I’ll ever get used to.

And I don’t ever get to see them as much as I want. My daughter’s got so much band. Like high school band stuff going on. I was wanting to get them Saturday after work, but Like, there’s no way and you know, maybe I’ll get to see them Sunday.

I don’t know. I’ve got to pay rent this check. I get paid today. Yeah. And I don’t know how much money I’m going to have left over. I also I also have to pay my car insurance but I’ve been doing really well about keeping on top of like you know I’ve got my tag renewed in the correct month. Usually, it’s Hell. Usually I get a fucking ticket before I renew it. Haha. I got my license renewed, you know, I got insurance. Usually, I’ll only get insurance to get my tag renewed. Yep. Oh,

So that’s I’ve been really good about that.

And there’s so much crap to just think about and this is stuff. I guess that chicks have given me shit about before in the past like my financial Like stuff and I’m in pretty awful shape. I actually think my credit score just went down a few points. Let me check it.

It had gone up a bunch, I don’t know.

No, it’s It’s the same but it went down.

I guess it’s been a few weeks back. It went down 4 Points, you know I was like aww.

I guess, 1 thing I do like about this job compared to the second car factory is the bonuses are huge. Yeah, they are. I’m going to get 1 um in November which will

Help. A lot. There’s like Christmas, you know, a month from that.

Yep.

Just thinking about everything.

Oh, my alarm.

I guess it’s time to get up and get a shower. I thought I could fall back asleep and I almost did but I didn’t.

I like that distracted. I yawned I just yawned so then I got it distracted. Looking at Facebook crap.

And what is so stupid is people will make posts, And just put wrong information. About crap just so people jump in and bitch about it and be all like well that’s wrong and all that and it’s like they just do that to get you to engage with the posts.

And then, uh, you know, the reels are the same way people are all like,

You know, they just eat it up. It’s like, yeah, they did that on purpose. So y’all would, you know, comment and have

6000 comments about. You know.

The wrong. How that thing was wrong like this 1 chick. Uh,

Some actress. I think it was Scarlett. Johansson. Yeah. And they spelled it Scarlett Johnson and just had a like a series of like

Pictures.

1 of my roommates is up, I don’t know how loud I’m talking.

Like from when she was like like from the mid 90s till today and it threw like 2 or 3 pictures of like a different person in there

And, you know,

Thousands of comments about that. I was like, yeah, I guess it works. So

I think 1 of the reasons why I haven’t been getting uh, A lot of. Crap. Like I used to with my I guess engagements. Yeah with my posts it’s because now they want you to pay money for shit. I noticed on Tik Tok uh Because I uploaded my dinosaur song video yesterday. And at first it got like a, you know, I thought it was going to get a bunch of hits like within 10 minutes that already had you know, 100 views And it’s only got like, 120 something now. Isn’t that funny? But I was like, oh gosh cuz that’s what a couple of my other videos did. But then it just stopped and then it was like, uh, had this thing at the bottom of the screen of the video. It was like, you know, your video can blow up. You know. Promote your video and I click the thing and it’s like They wanted me to pay money and you know what? I was going to and it kept like the interface or whatever was messed up. Uh, so I couldn’t which I think is probably for my own good. Yeah. It’s like dude, how stupid

I’m just gonna have to get out and do it. Like, You know, get back to performing and stuff again.

3:36 AM
Because people still go out and spend money at venues, or, you know, bars or whatever.

I don’t know how much time I’m going to have this weekend to do a bunch of stuff because 1 of my roommates friends. Needs her fence fixed. And I just remembered I need to get a level. I mean, To.

I need to text the lady and tell her I need a 6 foot level unless they want those fucking posts all whacked out.

Yeah.

I hope I remember to do that. I’m not going to text her right now because it’s 3:00 a.m. but hope I remember to do that sometime today.

I guess like, also, what bugs me about? Social media is how There’s like this depression like mental illness culture, that’s like,

Perpetuated. I’m just reading this chick’s meme dump and I’m like God. You know.

Yeah, it’s not that bad.

I mean, some people would argue that it is, but

It’s really not. You know, you can just food is right there. Everything’s convenient. And easy.

I mean shit, it could be a lot worse.

We could have a famine.

You know, there could be another plague like a real 1, you know. Not like I mean Jesus Christ.

You know, nobody’s set off nuclear weapons yet.

There hasn’t been any, you know, like gosh.

There are some parts of the world that are really fucked up though.

Yeah.

Anyways, I was just thinking

You know, I just got plain ass goddamn sick of being sad. I did, like, I’ve had my own problems with that shit but it was all circumstantial. It wasn’t like in My All In My Head or anything.

You know, Dealing with my mom last year and then like just You know, the Fallout from all that and then she died and the way she died and And all that happened and my car got repossessed. Of course. Everything’s better now. But it’s like God. Oh, being sad. It’s just

This is the worst. I got so sick of it.

You know, life’s not about that. Even though I guess you got to have contrast, I don’t know.

It’s like I said I think was it the last post or maybe the 1 before it you know, it just became normal. It’s like it’s yeah you can’t normalize, you know, being depressed and shit. It’s it’s not a good thing.

It’s not normal. Yeah.

People deserve to be happy and healthy, and

It does help to, you know, Not take Social Media stuff too, seriously, or anything you watch or read on the news, which I don’t even I have no idea what’s really going on with current events right now. Let’s look, let’s have a look. Let’s look at a news. Thing, let’s see here.

Let’s just, uh,

News.

I’ll just type in tap that in.

Holly concerning major medical groups. React to the president’s claim that Tylenol is linked to autism.

Okay, I’ll see what’s another headline.

While the President says that green energy is a scam, I won’t I won’t say his name. I don’t

I was a typhoon

Evacuating 2 million people.

Yeah, my ex-wife actually, like she deactivated her Facebook account last week because everything was, I guess, cuz that dude getting killed just

Set her off. And all that is still going on. Talking about Jimmy, Kimmel going back to

TV or whatever. But I always, I never liked Jimmy Kimmel anyways. Even when he was on win Ben Stein’s Money, Yeah, I was like what a turd but I don’t know what he said or what it matters.

Uh,

I guess there’s a few things about the president making a headlines with his

Holy shit. What’s the word, ridiculous? Crap. Yeah, I don’t know.

Um,

There’s some local news. Here’s a woman that was charged with theft. She’s a con artist.

I have a cousin who’s in prison for doing that.

Bless his heart.

Well, I guess if you knew how He grew up, you know, that’s I mean, of course, that’s how it goes with most criminals. Like

Something goes wrong somewhere in their formative. Years.

And then sometimes they don’t. I know a guy who like Was uh he was really on top of his shit. I don’t I well I guess never mind. Yeah because I think he got divorced and then he just went off the deep end. And uh, I don’t even care to tell that story. I’m just looking through the news.

More news, okay.

Now he says that Ukraine can win back all the territory. Lost to Russia, I haven’t been following that.

I mean, maybe they can.

Alaska nightly news, where the hell would that come from?

I wonder what it would be like to live in Alaska.

I bet, it’s I bet it’s different. Yeah, because I mean,

It’s just way up there, and

All that crap? I don’t know.

Yeah, this year’s almost over. I mean.

Yeah, we’re like 3 quarters of the way through. It, I remember when it was, uh, it just started I was like, Wow, 2025 The future is here, right?

I think we were though, like as kids My Generation? Yeah, uh, we’re like And not only we weren’t the only generation that were conditioned to like believe in some fantastic bullshit, you know? For the future and 2025.

But yeah, that didn’t happen. You had the flying cars and I mean we had you know, the shit like Back to the Future. What was that 2015 when they went forward in Time and everything? Just seemed You know, they had hoverboards and

You know, just shit like that. I think there were a lot of like, I guess. That’s called retrofuturism. Stuff, you know, that came out in the 60s and 70s.

You know, set 30 or 40 years ahead and everything was just, you know,

It didn’t turn out that way. Yeah. Haha

I don’t know, I guess I’ve had about all of the news. It’s just crap. There’s a whole bunch of stuff. About every other article about some dumb shit, the president said or did or something that happened to him. Something about it. Escalators and then, uh,

There’s some sports. I don’t follow Sports. I haven’t followed Sports. Since I was like 12.

Yeah. Um,

I guess, I don’t know. That’s Once a month, checking in, on the news.

Oh, gosh. I guess I’m gonna wrap this up and I’ll probably edit it at work.

I need to get a shower and get ready. And we use Beauty Haul.

I didn’t say that

I got a um yeah. Get a shower and get ready. To leave.

Haha. Ha ha ha ha. Yay.

Thank you, please.