MONDAY

4:53 AM

Oh, driving to work. Yeah, I got around about.

20 minutes later, than. I usually,

Want to uh, I don’t know. I usually like to get to work about 4:45 on either shift. Yeah.

Uh, you know, I definitely don’t like getting to work later than 5:30.

But it’s different. It’s a different animal. Uh, on day shift.

Than night shift because on days you don’t have to deal with traffic if you leave early. And on nights, you going have traffic. Going to deal with it, no matter what.

I’m pretty sure Brittany read 1 of those articles. She read the meə article. Yeah, last night. Pretty sure.

I mean, she was all in my brains. So that’s what’s been so crazy about this. It’s like, what is wrong with her? You know.

I set too many alarms.

Yeah, I had to.

I didn’t say that. It’s picking things up stupid. Maybe because I’m in the car. I don’t know. I gotta clean my windshield.

Uh, 1 of my roommates claims it’s the tree. Like, Making droplets all over everything that are weird and sticky but I don’t know.

I got a decent night’s sleep.

I did I think I was asleep by like 10:00. And I slept a little bit, I rested, you know, enough I guess this weekend. But yesterday did not go at all. Like I wanted it to I was uh,

I should have just not tried to do anything. Yeah.

I guess.

I made a lot of blog posts.

I started to make another 1 and, uh, That I noticed Brittany pecked on my blog like she read that article that had to be her. Yeah, and it’s like, you know, that’s what I was thinking on my way like a second ago before I started blabbering Uh, That’s what made this. So,

Affect me, so much is how much?

How? How much I liked her? Yeah, like

Like, I never felt that that way about anybody ever not even close. Yeah, it was like

Really fucked up.

And it fucked me up in proportion to that it did and she could have like I don’t know. I wished I would have said this in that post that she read but it’s like she could have been really awesome. You know, she could have been the most awesome person I ever met but she decided to not be You know, and it and really what what she did to me was fucking retarded. Uh, You know, people have done worse things to other people, they have But it was the intensity of like the exchange. Oh my God, I just remember. The way she used to stare at me and 1 time, she like, I was talking to my friend, Kim, uh, who was obviously a lesbian And she got so jealous. Like Brittany had gotten so jealous that I could feel the I could feel it. Like it just hit me in the face like, jealousy Muslims. And uh yeah jealousy missiles.

Ha ha ha. Haha. Yeah. Um But it fucked me up so bad that I had to stop talking to Kim. Like I got to go Kim. You know, I got to go, I’m sorry. I started shaking. You know, it was like, It was like that. And Brittany was rubbing this guy in my fucking face. To make me jealous You know, like I’m not going to talk to a chick, who’s got a dude, hanging around her all the time. And she she did and she had a You know, somebody different hanging around her every 2 or 3 weeks, You know. And like, I just There was a lot of stuff about all that. I didn’t trust, you know, I was still really messed up at the time.

And uh, she did not make it. Easier or make me feel better about talking to her. You know.

It was really, uh, I guess ultimately it was retarded as fuck. Yeah, it was

But shit, you know, that’s the thing. Like

Everything’s finally getting better.

Sometimes I really miss my mom.

But, I mean,

I don’t know.

And there are a lot of chicks where I work now. Who are beautiful?

Yep. And you know I don’t ever get out either. You know, I’ve been working on music a lot. Because I eventually, I don’t know, I guess it’ll probably be next round of day shift when I get out and start performing maybe you know, nothing ever goes as you plan as I plan anyways. Haha. But I know that I’m ready to get to work. And I’m going to do the gym for about 30 minutes. That’s what I’ve been doing. I did all last week.

And, uh, I haven’t been going in Though, the afternoons at all. That. Other chick. From the gym at, uh, because she makes me so nervous. Oh, she makes me so nervous and uh, It’s retarded. Yeah, like I don’t know.

I get nervous even thinking about it.

I guess I have what like an avoidant personality type or something.

Yeah.

But I, I can’t like, I just, I don’t know, I wish I was not like this sometimes. I really I really wish I wasn’t.

So like socially crippled. I don’t know how else to put that.

You know, I am. I’m like a crippled When it comes to social things.

The especially chicks. Yeah, especially

Well, what else can I say?

It’s uh, It’s Monday.

Heh Hall.

How?

God damn it.

It’s not going to pick up Yeehaw, just to be a piece of shit. There it goes. It only does it when I’m talking about it but not when I want it to happen.

Oh my God, yeehaw. Was it so hard, was that so hard?

Thank you. Please.