MONDAY

2:42 PM

Well, so much for going back to sleep. Yep.

I woke up this morning about

6:30, and I’ve been up. Like I’ve almost dozed off a couple times but some bullshit will happen. Like uh,

I got 2 text messages from like crap that wasn’t even anything.

And, Somebody’s car alarm goes off.

Hello. Yeah, it’s it’s been doing that for like the last 6 months.

My car needs a harmonic balance or which is going to be about 400 bucks, and I’m not going to be able to get it until next week. And it makes me sad.

The steering thing.

Uh, I don’t know. There’s like The guy was just like, dude. Telling me Oh, you know like a lot of stuff on that car is just It makes me sad. Yeah. He’s like it’s just, you know, more than the car’s worth. But I don’t feel that way about my car. I love my car.

I don’t even want to think about getting another car, but I got to get that fixed, you know, I’ll probably put it’s a 30 year old car. And I’ve put I probably put 10,000 miles on it since I’ve got it. I bought it back in, you know, towards the end of May,

I’ve had it 5 months. Yeah. Give or take?

But I want to go, it’s night shift.

I started feeling really crappy earlier, but I think it’s stress. Yeah. I overdid it yesterday too. With the caffeine, but I did all my chores. I finished my chores today.

I had a really crazy dream about Brittany.

Yeah, she’s just been all in my brains and she’s not right now, but like oh my gosh, I had a dream that I Fucking called her. And like she called me and hung up and I would call her and hang up. And finally like Oh, we talked to each other and I asked her out on a date and she was like, yeah. And so, we had a date planned for like, a Friday night. I don’t know. It was silly.

But then I woke up just being like man, what a crazy ass fucking thing to have happened. Yeah, it’s retarded.

People.

Yeah. Go ahead.

Anyways though, um, I guess I’m just going to like

Get a shower and get ready and go to work. I’ve got uh, I really need to eat. I’m hungry. I’m really hungry. I ate so much crap yesterday.

How about Coke?

I have a.

A Cherry Coke.

But I was thinking about going by Sam’s Club and getting like, Those beef stew things I used to eat.

And a box of the Honey Buns. I used to get. I haven’t gotten, I say used to, you know, I did that for about 2 months. Uh, I haven’t bought that stuff in about a month. Yeah, I’m just going to try to hang on to as much money as I can. I’ve got like 3 hundred dollars.

Because I need to get that fixed really bad and I’m sad though. Yeah, a whole dream I had too about Brittany like that just that makes me sad. It’s so stupid. And I don’t understand it.

Uh, but I was like, Sometimes, I really just wonder, you know, if I’m ever going to Have anything get married or whatever? Do all that shit ever again?

Because a part of me doesn’t want to. Yeah, then part of me does It’s like God, you know, I went through all that. Of course, I totally did like

I married the right person to have kids with apparently, right? But, uh, The wrong person to stay married to the rest of my life.

It’s just, it’s all this is so, so dumb. I’m I’m really getting sick of talking about it. I’ve talked about it way too much the last few weeks.

Just even like getting to know somebody else is exhausting to think about. It’s like wow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I’m from here and I did this and that, and then I was, you know, all that. And then this and here I am now and it’s the same thing for them. They’re like, oh yeah, I know, I’m from here. And I do this. And I’ve been through this and we’ve been through all that. Yeah. Wow. We have that in common. Well, you like what? Yeah, me too. No, I don’t like that. That’s weird. Really? Yeah, but that’s okay. It’s okay. Haha, I was just like, thinking about some of the conversations I’ve had. You know, with chicks the last 7 years. Yeah, that’s about how it goes.

With the exception of my ex fiance because we were all just like, me. Me, me! Me, me, me, me, me me. You, you, you you, you you, you you Yeah, and me.

Blah, blah, blah. I wonder what the hell she’s even doing. No, I don’t know. I don’t care as much as I used to but I hope she’s doing great.

Everything’s always my fault.

That’s kind of stuff’s like that got old, you know?

All the Like,

Pecking into my brains with, you know I just I can’t.

Gosh. But I have I have been with like the most toxic crazy women.

So I mean I don’t know I just think about that. It’s my favorite time of year. I wish I had somebody to go do stuff with. I don’t really have a lot of money though. I don’t know, it’s just

I think I’m just going to focus on my music and everything, but I wish I could have went to sleep. I came home. I got my chores done, it was like right at noon. And I’ll started to make a post. And I was like,

Fuck this. I’m too tired. So I just I put the phone down. And,

All I laid down and, uh, I’ll close my eyes and then like, by the time, I dozed off some bullshit. It’s, it was either, uh, Those text messages, I got that was from like straight talk. Yeah. Reminding me that my plan needs to be refilled in a week and, uh, 1 of my roommates came home, and she has a dog that barks at anything that moves. If anybody else had a dog like that she would raise so much Hell

And,

Uh, then the people’s car alarm? Yeah, which goes off. It’s like, what the fuck are they even doing? And I can’t tell what house it’s coming from. It’s like, across the street.

Um, But yeah that’s why I’m I just didn’t get to go back to sleep. I could have slept for like 3 hours.

If I could have went right back to sleep, that would have been nice but I’m not all depressed and weird feeling right now. I just I love my car and I didn’t I don’t ever want to have to get another car but You know, who knows? I’m not going to think that far ahead. But I do need to just start saving money.

And not spending a bunch of money, like I have been

I don’t know how like, I don’t know if I’m going to go to the gym, I’m going to go before the shift starts. Yeah, but like after, you know, Oh, I don’t know how

I’m going to fill.

I’m going to feel, I don’t know how I’m going to feel after the shifts over because I will have been up.

You know, for like 20 something hours, you know.

But what in about a month, I get a bonus. I get my bonus. That’s going to help.

I’m probably going to have to pay my rent late next month, like a few days late. And I’m just going to talk to my roommate. Tell her I had to get Some work done in my car.

1 of my friends who I actually, I guess I kind of do know him in person. He’s got a WordPress account, he posts stuff, it gives me. Notifications. I’ve been getting a lot of Like views and likes and shit, and some comments. But I’ve been looking at other people’s stuff a lot too and I’m reading their stuff and commenting and liking their posts, it’s

Uh, it’s a mixed bag, all kind of people all over the world.

There’s a Romanian person and

Uh, Indian people.

Somebody from Belgium. Yeah. Which I don’t know. I’m going to, I’m going to wrap this up and post it. I’m about to starve to death actually. Haha, not like for real but I need to go get some food.

I guess it. I don’t know. It sucks. I just I got where I was like I was finally not stressing out about everything and then it’s like, well, Uh, here you go. Which I mean last week. If that wasn’t, you know, that was like, I don’t know. Oh my gosh.

I finally about got over that. And then, you know, now I have to get a new thing for my car but it’s okay, you know.

I just I love my car so much, but I’m only just, I’m going to drive straight to work and back. I mean, I’m going to stop some places though, but I mean that’s, you know, I’m just going to work and back until I get that fixed.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yay. Thank you. Please.