SUNDAY

10:10 AM
Um, it’s Sunday morning.

I totally didn’t post, I had a big fucking thing. I didn’t post. I guess it’s been.

7 or 8 hours ago. I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s uh, It was raining.

I just ate a honey bun, I was like oh I’m so hungry but I don’t want to leave my room. Forgot. I had a box of honey buns.

I’m probably going to go back to sleep. Yeah, I got up last night.

And did all this stuff, you know, and practiced music until about 3:00 a.m. And then I went to The Waffle House.

And then I came back and fell asleep. I was like, oh I’m going to go back and I had a bunch of coffee and everything. Yeah. Haha

I thought I was going to go back and continue to work on music and I just passed the hell out. It was really funny. With my light on, yeah. I had to go back and get my stuff and I had to get my clothes out of the washer and put into the dryer and then out of the dryer

It made me, uh, Kind of reminded me of

They had a community washer and dryer. Uh, in the apartment complex, I lived in with my mom. You had to pay those like It was like 50 cents. Yeah, for each thing. For a washer or a dryer. I think it was 50 cents.

Yeah. The washer and the dryer.

Um, I guess it’s just for like basic upkeep and whatever for the things.

But sometimes people would leave their goddamn clothes in them, and It’s like, hey, I got to wash some stuff and on Sundays, you just I didn’t even try to wash clothes on Sundays. Everybody was washing clothes. I wash my clothes about once a month.

Yeah, put

I said, yep.

I don’t know, I don’t know what else to talk about. I’m like

I think I’ve made a 500, I’ve got 500 likes. Yeah, on this blog. I’ve surpassed my other blog a lot with like other people interactions and Likes and comments and

Views. Even. I mean, like I get more regular views and stuff.

My other blog would get huge spikes of views, sometimes when people from my personal life, would stumble upon it. Which I’ve talked about,

In the last, like,

Week or something. I talk about it sometimes. I think last weekend I talked all about it. Yeah, I don’t remember.

I’ve been reading a lot of other people’s blogs lately. It’s uh, It’s kind of funny. Um, you know, usually My main social media like interactions and stuff. I just talk out of my ass and make blog posts, you know?

I mean that’s all this is but uh I don’t really interact with a lot of people or I haven’t until the last month or so. I was like Hey usually I just you know interact with people on Facebook or Instagram more on Facebook and it’s not like it used to be. I’ve talked about that before too.

Um, I used to get Tons of like,

Reactions and comments and shit. And now I’m just lucky to get a handful

I don’t know. Like, I don’t know why Brittany pecks on my other blog when she’s been doing that. It’s like, I don’t really care anymore. I don’t think it means anything other than her still trying to fuck with my head as much as she could can or whatever, and it’s stupid.

Like,

I don’t know it’s called the mere exposure effects.

Yeah, um, when you know you’re like, especially it happens to co-workers when you’re around somebody every day, that’s what happened. That was a lot of what happened with me and her You know, she was uh, I’m a lot of fun to watch at work because I do crazy shit and I run around especially on an assembly line. I’m so fucking crazy and I make up songs and I yell everything, you know, I fuck with people and it’s like some people hate my guts. Yeah. But most people love me.

Well, I say there’s some people who just, they can’t stand me at all. Some guy, there’s this 1 guy, he’s on, uh, like this. Uh, he has a torque wrench and he like checks, the torques of all the crap. Uh, that is like the machine, the bolts, the important things. He just keeps like a check on making sure. Everything’s still torqued to specs. He won’t even look at me. Yeah, it’s funny. Like, I’ll pass by him or something and he’ll just like, just look down at the ground and look away from me.

It’s uh I don’t know, I just stare at him. Intensely, every time I see him and I sing to him, too. And he just, oh my gosh.

It’s it’s really funny. There was another guy on the same crew though that he would he didn’t, I weirded him out. He wouldn’t talk to me for about a month. He finally, I don’t know, realized I wasn’t

A psycho, I don’t know what people make up in their heads about me but they do. Oh my God.

Probably because I’m so big and loud and I move around so crazy.

Oh but when I worked at the Honda plant, there was a lot more room to run around and I did the headlight process and oh my God it was like I, I was so fucking crazy, and she would just stare at me in disbelief sometimes I would catch her looking at me with big crazy eyes, and I was, you know, I’m fun to watch. She was fun to look at because she was always had some crazy hair and Always looked really mad. And uh it just, you know, a year and a month of that, you know?

But things really started to get retarded about after I had been there about 7 months 7 or 8 months. Yeah, which is about how long I’ve been at the place. I’m at now. And uh, I’m just like gosh, but

I talked about like twin flames and all that shit, but like, who fucking knows.

It is, it’s a lot like that Kids in the Hall of sausages episode with that dude. Oh you know, he’s always staring at that chick kissing the boxes and all this shit. I don’t know. Of course, It was a lot more, I think, actually, it was probably more reciprocal on her end because she actually figured out where I lived and put nails in my tires and shit. Because I ran from her instead of talking to her, But I couldn’t help that. No, I’m I tried to tell her that too. But she had already fucked with my head so much. I’m just like You know, and she still tries to

It just makes me sad, you know? I was thinking, uh, last night, I guess early this morning while I was going over a bunch of songs, I had made up a couple of new ones about her and I’m just like, you know, I could just like because she was so mean and I think a lot of that went to her head. Yeah. Like she I don’t know.

I don’t know if how proud she is of all that or or if she feels bad about it she can’t feel that bad about it, you know.

That was 1 of the things. The last time I looked at her social media, I was like, well, she’s actually doing pretty great, you know, I hope whatever. Yeah. Imbalance existed. There it was rectified.

Oh, but I could I could just like You know.

Record me playing these songs and post them and be like, yeah, these here are some songs about this chick because, uh, it’s a really small world. And I know a lot of people who know, either know, her directly or know people who know her directly. And it’s just, it’s really

It’s really crazy. It is. It’s a really small world.

Um I moved up here to Huntsville and there’s a lot of people like my roommates are friends with or people that like uh, 1 of my roommates is friends. With people from the polyglot community. Like I, I thought that was crazy and there’s a couple of people. There’s this chick, I used to talk to, he’s friends with her too, and I’m just, I see her pop up on tbe people I may know. She deleted her old account, and wasn’t on Facebook for a long time.

I started to send her a friend request, but it’s like, no.

And uh there was uh, I fixed the sink for this. Um, it was a drain pump. Yeah. I’ll re I rerouted the old 1 is what I did. Um for this chick who also rents like a studio space for 1 of my roommates.

Uh, does stuff and works. I guess. I don’t know. Um, but she married a guy who’s from the same area I’m from. I used to see him at parties and stuff that my old bands would play at. I’m like, wow.

It’s a really small world.

Especially when you’re like weird because like, I don’t know.

But yeah, I do I have I have like a whole albums worth of songs about her. And I can just go out and play them too and be like, hey, you know, Here’s uh, and because a lot of people like a lot of local, uh, musicians. Um, know her. And I remember, uh, we used to have a lot of mutual friends and a lot of them were like Uh, just like local Gadsden. And uh, Fucking Birmingham and Aniston that whole little area down through there middle, Alabama, local musicians. There’s there’s like the north Alabama local musicians too. That’s I know a lot more of them because I’ve always done more stuff in Huntsville than I did Birmingham. And I really don’t care for Gadsden. Is not my favorite town.

Um,

And her ex,

Is this guy who he’s a local Gadsden musician and he played cello at my wedding. Yeah, and I think that’s just that is so funny. But um,

I don’t really care that much and I don’t hate her, you know, it’s just

It’s like what don’t you just leave me the fuck alone though? Yeah.

Oh, I wish she would just leave me the fuck alone. I mean that would be

Yeah, just fucking like, get on with your damn life. It’s been

Like, I saw her, you know, back in July, I talked about this in a post yesterday. But like, you know, it’s been 2. Going on 2 and a half years. Since I worked at Honda, you know, Like, it was so stupid.

And in a lot of ways, I’m so much better now and it took a lot of that for me to realize that, you know, I was uh,

I really had lost my Bearings like socially and everything.

Uh, after the divorce. I was on a lot of medication. And gosh, it was just I got so messed up like having to come off of medication practically cold turkey. I just didn’t think, you know, I wasn’t Planning that far ahead I hated myself and then all of a sudden I ran out of money and insurance and medication and that was it.

Um, My brain still won’t work, right? Like, I’ll find myself. I do I just struggle like to describe things and Sometimes to come up with words for stuff and that used to never happen.

10:26 AM
I used to have like my mind used to be. So fucking sharp as far as that crap goes.

For whatever, you know.

I guess what? I lack in all the

Abilities. I used to have I make up for in character. Hahaha

Yeah, I guess, you know.

All about accumulated, experience fucking all the crazy stupid things I’ve done.

But yeah, I don’t know it’s funny. Um I don’t think anybody like me ever came through the the Honda plant. She had been working there for like 9 years or something. I think she worked there for about a year or so after I left and then she quit but I had drawn chickens on every single Uh, thing the carriages, I guess, uh, that things that would bring the cars down the line. And uh, I drew a chicken at least 1 Chicken on every single 1 of those

Except the 1 that was uh, number 00. Yeah, they were all numbered. And that’s the only 1 I didn’t put chickens on on purpose. Yeah, it was like a leave that 1 untouched 00.

Um, But I drew all those chickens for her, I did and I would like uh, make references to stuff. It was funny.

I just, I don’t know. Oh, she started acting really crazy.

Instead of just trying to approach me like a person she started doing crazy shit.

And that’s, uh, that’s what really freaked me out, and it got worse and worse, and more, and more over complicated. And then I had a nervous breakdown. Yeah, I mean it was like,

It was really stupid. Especially looking back on it now. But oh my God. It fucking happened. And It did it made me realize just how screwed up. I really was.

Yeah, it’s like the holy shit. I should have went to like, Of course, nobody would have took care of my dogs, I don’t know. Like but I should have probably went to some kind of soccer atric facility. Psychiatric. Yeah, facility. Um

At least for a few months at least that whole summer. Yeah. After the divorce instead of dating a psychologist, haha

You know, she kept on file on me too, that’s what it was so funny. She’s the program director now at Mountain Lakes. Uh, Behavioral Health.

In Guntersville but that was, uh, I don’t know.

That was.

That’s what I should have done. I should have

Should have like, Done something got committed somewhere for a for a while and then reintegrated back into society. That’s not what happened. Yeah, I got like got to get even more crazy.

But I’m a lot better now. It’s just, I don’t know 1 of those things because I didn’t seek like professional help. It just took a lot longer for me to do it on my own, but I got a lot of crazy fucking songs out of it. I guess. That’s that was A, that’s usually the trade-off. Yeah, I get Lots and lots of music and art out of out of like the conflict.

The conflicts I guess with like

My complete lack of social proclivity.

Uh, mixed with, um, You know.

The reality of what’s, you know, happening around me.

Yeah. Haha

It’s kind of funny but you know really I just miss my kids. Like I wish I could go get the kids today and I could if uh I just don’t want to risk driving my car all the way down there until I get that part. And get it fixed. I guess I’m going to try to do that Wednesday afternoon. I’ll talk with the guy Tuesday, said he was going to call me Tuesday and oh, But yeah, Wednesday, either Wednesday, afternoon or early Thursday morning, I’m going to get it fixed.

And it’s going to cost about 400 bucks. Yeah. It’s

It needs. It needs to be like fixed though. Yeah. So

If it wasn’t for that, I’d be like I’d be on my way to Gadsden right now and to get my kids for lunch.

Or supper, I’d probably, yeah, I’d probably wait get them this evening for supper.

I miss my kids every day.

But yeah, my daughter messaged me last night on Instagram. She was like, oh gosh, guess who won the band competition and I was like, who. And she said, Rome Georgia. Which is our go-to adventure town. And I was like, oh my God, this is like, I know I didn’t. I was like, what the heck? They’re not even from this state.

Yeah.

Rome is a really cool Town, though. It’s uh,

It’s got just the coolest downtown and they got the coolest Cemetery I’ve ever been to. And they have a a labyrinth and they have the Lock Bridge and the magic shop that we never go into anymore. But we go to the city Creamery. And there’s a ton of really cool uh shops and restaurants downtown and there’s bluefin tuna Bluefin sushi. Ya, oh my brain.

It’s um, we haven’t been there.

I haven’t been to Bluefin in almost a year, you know, I think it was, um, I got the kids for Christmas. Whatever.

Christmas Eve. I think it was. It was cold as hell. It was either the day before or the day after Christmas, I can’t remember. Uh, we went down there.

But that was the worst part about all that shit that happened with Britany. Was it drove me? So fucking crazy. That my ex-wife after I had that nervous breakdown, uh she wouldn’t let me keep the kids on a regular basis for a year. It was about a year. Yeah. And, uh, that was really hard like You know, I went from getting them every single fucking weekend to nothing. You know, I didn’t, I wouldn’t like I would see them once or twice a month. You know, for like a little bit. Yeah, for like supper or something. And I was, I was fucking I lost my mind. It did it, it was horrible. And I’m just now getting like stabilized from all that and then she starts Pecking on my fucking blog, all crazy, not this 1, but the other 1 and it’s like why you know, Why can’t like what the hell? And she can’t message me, you know, she can’t do anything normal, even remotely normal, but block me on fucking Facebook and Instagram and it’s just

It parallels a lot. Of what happened with my ex fiance. It’s like not exactly though, but it was just like, It just turned into a bunch of dumb shit that took me a long time to get over. And she never stopped fucking with me for a long time. Like my ex fiance, uh, made an account pretending to be a Bulgarian chick and she was really good at it, too. It was funny. Uh, and when I Talked to her I knew exactly who it was the first time I talked to her. And she like, oh my gosh, she tried to call me and she would send me voice messages. And she had the accent nailed and everything and, uh, on her birthday. I guess it was 2022. I was like, happy birthday. Haha And I never heard from her again.

But I knew it was her. She was uh, a language nerd. Also.

But she was. Oh gosh, she was so crazy. And she would, she would message me from fake accounts all the time. For a few years after it ended. Yep

You know, it’s like she missed me but she didn’t want me to know she missed me, you know.

It was sad, but it took me over 3 years. Yeah, about 3 and a half years to get over her and this is going on 2 and a half with what happened with Brittany. Yeah, and and that wasn’t even anything. It was fucking crap, you know?

Well, I’m tired of talking about that. Some like I’m not going to talk about that again, unless something new and exciting happens, you know, which I kind of hope it doesn’t.

You know.

But it is it was it was really remarkable the whole thing. And just all the stuff that I’ve dealt with post divorce. Like my life is so crazy.

But it has it’s it’s been like it’s the most normal and the best it’s been and

Gosh, it’s about 3 years. Yeah.

I have a really great job. I live in a nice house with, like, A bed. I didn’t have a bed, you know, for a long time. And uh, it’s got, you know, electricity and running water. Uh Yeah, that’s not something I had either at 1 time and

Uh,

That’s, you know, pretty cool. And I can go to the garage and work on my music instead of having to drive all the way to my storage unit.

Which I need to do at some point after I get that part. Yeah, I’m going to uh, Probably next weekend. I’m going to try to do some vocals. Lay down some vocal tracks for some of these crazy songs that I can’t do here because We’re too weird.

Oh, this is turning into a long post but I like I am. I’m like, I’m really really just

Hoping this is like the last bunch of crap I ever talk about Brittany. Like, you know, unless she just

I don’t know. I don’t even care. It’s so stupid.

I feel stupid. I feel stupid talking about it.

Oh, the sun’s coming out. My eyes

Thank you, please.