3:07 PM
All right. Yeah, I’m just like
In my room. I thought I wanted to go out earlier and get into something but uh,
Shit, I’m exhausted.
Yeah, I don’t really. Didn’t really want to. After I got out, I really didn’t want to
I went and ate Mexican food, and that was pretty good and all, but then I was like, well, at first I was going to go to Georgia and get lottery tickets. Then I thought, no, let’s just go to Tennessee and get lottery tickets and then I was like, well, I’m going to stop and get food and I stopped at the Mexican restaurant and I ate and I was really full and then I realized I didn’t want to do anything. So, I came back home. And here I am.
And I feel stupid For ever leaving. Hahaha
Yep.
I was going back and reading some old posts on my original blog. And it was kind of making me sad. I don’t know. It’s been a weekend of that. Like Nostalgia, bullshit fucking the storage unit. All my stuff in there. Making me sad. And then, uh, my old blog posts, I was reading like what I was doing this time. I guess 4 years ago. When I started the first car factory, which is where I work now. Uh, oh my goodness. I didn’t think I’d ever get to come back but I did. But I was I was so hopeful back then and I had all these plans and like goals I was going to do and then Then I found a what I thought was a better job. And it was for a long time, it, you know, of course, the first car factory got better. After I left
A lot better. Yeah, it’s a lot better to the point where I wished. I never would have left.
I would have been topping out. At a 36 dollars, an hour if I would have stayed, you know, I don’t make that now. But I would be making that if I would have never left. But I left for the Honda plant because it was closer to the kids and they were paying 3.
Yeah, 3 dollars. More an hour. Uh, which was like my car payment, you know? And I thought, well, it’s closer to the kids and at first, I thought I died and went to heaven. But then it got oh gosh, the longer I was there the crazier things got
Because of Brittany. Yeah, like I totally just unraveled, it was insane. I’ve never had anybody.
Uh nobody’s ever had the effect on me that she did. It was just total insanity. And that’s not even it just doesn’t seem like words are You know.
Words can paint an accurate picture.
Of the
It was like, it was it was just like, uh, When my life got screwed up. Because of my ex fiance and you know the divorce it was it was akin to that it was that big And I don’t know that it was for her, you know, I don’t think.
I think she’s just living her best life. Now that’s typically the case that’s what my ex-wife got to do, you know? It’s just destroy the hell out of me and You know, like who gives a shit I struggled so hard last year.
Just like, I felt so pointless. You know. It was that bad and I felt that way for a couple of years after I met my ex fiance, which wasn’t that long after the divorce. It was kind of compounded.
But uh, I don’t know. Just This weekend, I started feeling like that again, for some reason, I shouldn’t. Shit, I just bought a new guitar? Or, and it’s, uh, You know, I’m really bad out of practice especially with like
Finger picking I guess I’ll say in like classical stuff but I’m I never was
Uh, I was always really good at finger picking though, but You know, this was 25 years ago, when I practiced all the fucking time,
But yeah, it’s just I don’t know. I feel
This ain’t the first time though. I felt like
I guess like I, I lived You know, I lived my life and it’s like, what the hell am I supposed to do, but that’s just me being retarded because I felt like that, you know, it’s on several different. I’ll say occasions, but like periods. I guess. Like I’ll go through periods where I feel that way and then I pull myself out of it.
I haven’t felt like that. In several months though until this weekend.
That’s really retarded.
But,
Yeah. It is crazy. I was reading because I was living with Mom. That’s when I first moved back in there. All the I didn’t realize I had moved back in there like, um, until I was going to go back to my house when I was living in that Farmhouse and the ceiling caved in the bedroom, I was like, well I can’t live here anymore. So me and boat, like,
Just started Living with mom until well, he died in March of 2022.
It was really weird living with my mom. Like, Shit. I lived there for 3 years. With my mom, almost, yeah, it was like
Pretty crazy.
Oh, I need to do my chores. I have new chores. I noticed on the on the chore. Board. I’ve got to clean the bathroom and I’ve got to do the laundry room and then, uh, the the hallway. Yeah. I’ll do that. Shit. I’ll probably do the bathroom tonight. And the laundry room maybe. And then tomorrow I’ll probably do the hallway.
I don’t know, but I’m not going to do it.
Anytime in the next couple of hours. I’m just,
Well I woke up, I’ve been up. Yeah I haven’t uh
Haven’t, I’ve been up since like
I’m trying to think. Did I go back to sleep?
Nope.
I sure didn’t so I have I have been up since like 5:00 a.m. Yeah. Well like 4:00 a.m. I guess.
When did I make that last post?
This chick posted um, on her Instagram story.
This Anonymous message thing. And I submitted stuff. Nothing mean though I can’t I could never be mean to this chick. She’s like
Not somebody I would ever be mean to. Yeah, she’s like she’s pretty cool. I don’t know.
Um anyways what was I doing? Oh yeah, I was going to look and see when I posted that last article.
That’s funny though. I was looking uh, reading my old. Posts from like November,
It was like this time in 2021 like it was like November. I think like the 18th or 19th. And it was a Saturday and I had like, just started the job. The first car factory job. And I was all excited about it and I had some extra money, not a lot. I mean like 5 dollars and I went and bought strawberry gummies from the fucking Dollar General and I ate like, half the bag and I remember like vividly, remember doing this. And the, uh, they had a freezer burned aftertaste, and I was like, you know, after I ate about half the the bag I was like, oh gosh, these are, you know, it started making me.
You know, it was yuck. And uh so I was just like stopped eating them and then I got really sick, like later on that night, I think and I threw up a whole bunch and all I threw up was freezer burned aftertaste, strawberry gummies.
And it sucked.
Okay, so I made that post at like 5:40 I think I woke up at like 4:30 this morning, you know?
Uh, oh.
Okay.
No. I got a notification and it was for like my other blog’s email. Uh, the blog numero dos. Yeah, um Email address.
I made a post on that just to see like, if anybody would look at it or anything or I don’t know, but I was going back and look at it at the uh, stats on it, where Brittany had hit it a whole bunch a couple of years ago.
And stuff. I was like, yeah. Of course, it was up on my Facebook page and, I don’t know. Like she looks at my other blog though, it’s weird like she
Has this 1 a few times, but Um, I don’t really.
I don’t know if she’s been hitting the other 1 a lot. Uh well like once or twice a week, she’ll hit it a lot. It’s Doesn’t really mean anything to me anymore. It’s like okay well, You know, and
How I still care about her? You know it’s like what the fuck is wrong with me? And her people like from where she’s from like people who are friends with her. And stuff, she has me blocked for some stupid reason. Uh, they all pop up on the people. I may know constantly like 1 of her cousins and I don’t know who these people are, you know?
It’s like Jesus. Some waitress chick and some other lady that works at the venue.
Is. No, it’s like a restaurant. Yeah. Um where my ex-wife and I got married? And yeah, I know and uh,
Some people from Honda that I have no mutual friends.
What about now? Yeah, that’s probably the Wi-Fi cutting out. Anyways. Um, Yeah, just I don’t know.
But it doesn’t mean shit to me anymore because she doesn’t. She just stalks my shit. She doesn’t like message me or communicate or anything. She pecks on my blog. I don’t know why. It’s like it doesn’t have the effect on me that it did because it’s like well, you know, I’m not messaging her. I don’t know what she wants me to do or if she wants me to do anything and it’s like
It hurts my brains to think about it actually. Yeah, what was my point to that?
Oh yeah, the other blog. Yeah, uh yeah. Nobody looks at it. Hahaha
It’s just kind of up there but I have a link to it from this blog. Yeah.
I don’t know. Thought about getting my laptop out and uh, Looking up some like instructional videos, I thought about taking lessons like classical guitar lessons. Which is something I’ve always wanted to do, I just never think about it but now that I have like,
I’m not going to say I have a lot of free time but it would help you know, like
I don’t know.
Maybe I should take a nap.
I thought about taking a nap, it’s early still.
But yeah, that’s like, that’s just what I’ve been doing all day. I’ve been uh, So, I talked to my friend, Rebecca. A little bit.
Uh, mostly about music stuff. And sent her some videos. Of me goofing around. And On guitar and, uh,
I guess really, today has just kind of zipped. By. I practiced a lot though. Yeah. Until my hands get Cramping up. And then I’ve watched a lot of like, flamenco guitar videos. That’s been fun. And I’m like, dang, I wish I was that good. But, you know, I could be if I practiced
No, which I’m going to, that’s why I bought this guitar and I can keep it in standard tuning. You know, now I have a guitar for standard tuning. I actually modified the sound hole, so the pickup will fit. And I need to, uh,
Plug that into my speaker to see if it works.
But it is, it’s really funny how good I used to be like
And now like I can be I’m really good for like a second and then my hands get tired and it’s like, well I just need to practice. There’s more, you know, it’s
3:25 PM
So, all hope isn’t lost. What am I even doing? I’ve got my other phone in my hand like I’m fixing to look something up. I don’t know. I’m trying to figure out what the hell I was doing.
What have I done today, you know?
I don’t even know what that was.
I don’t know. This is. What happens to me, though. I get like
I’ll open up a Facebook reel and then just scroll through them and just get sucked into it. Here’s this 1 about It’s a Columbo episode about dying and nobody really knows anything. You know, nobody knows where we came from. Or What happens after you die? Not for real. But people like argue about it. Anyways.
And uh, that’s actually
Like you.
You get other lives, you know?
It’s like,
It’s just funny to see people, like argue about this stuff.
People argue about everything and they like anything. Like, they’ll talk. They’ll just shit all over anything. Good, no matter what it is, or how awesome it is. Somebody somewhere is going to shit all over it. And it’s remarkable to me to look at this stuff and it’s all in the comments section of you know, Facebook and Instagram or Tik Tok or any of that stuff.
It’s like damn. Where do these people come from?
I was watching a Yngwie Malmsteen video. And uh, these people were just talking about what a jack off, he was. And I’m like, that’s 1 of the best guitar players who ever lived? Like, who the hell are you? You know, it’s just some like, I don’t, I don’t understand it but that’s how people are.
People who can’t do anything. You know they don’t do anything except
Like, you know, they don’t have any kind of special talents or skills, but they’ll shit all over something. Haha I guess. Maybe that’s their special talent.
Yeah.
Shit, I don’t know.
Billions and billions and billions of them.
All over this planet. Supposedly, you know, I don’t know.
The furthest I’ve ever been from where I’m at now. Supposedly is Portland, Oregon. And uh, the only other country I’ve ever been to is the Dominican Republic. So it’s like, yeah.
I don’t really know. You know how big the world is? I’ve never been to I would love to go to other countries and stuff though and and see like Where all the other billions of people are at?
I would really love to go to Cambodia. I’ve had lots of dreams about Cambodia and Estonia would be fun. I like Poland.
Mongolia seems really cool.
Argentina. I would love to go to Argentina, or Uruguay.
Of course, I’d like to visit Italy and France and Spain And Germany. Of course, if I went to Germany, I’d have to see my friend Rebecca.
I’m actually, uh,
I’m going to get my passport, I’m going to try to get my passport renewed soon or something, I try to do it online but it asked for my old passport number and I have no idea what it is and I have no idea where my old passport is I was kind of looking for it yesterday in the storage unit. But,
Shit, I couldn’t find it, you know.
But I would love to go visit Rebecca.
I don’t know, I don’t know what else to say. I’m just like this is what I’ve been doing all day. I’ve just been laying around. I’ve watched a lot of Mega Man videos. I’m a huge fan of the Mega Man. Uh, you know, the NES games especially and I didn’t really keep up with it because I never owned a Super Nintendo. I never really kept up with Mega Man after Mega Man, 6.
But I beat the crap out of every 1 of those games. It was so much fun. The first Mega Man is really weird. And uh, I owned the second 1, I played it the most
And Mega Man, 3 was really cool. He had a, you know, a snake man.
And uh,
Magnet, man. I remember the magnet man stage. I used to play drums to the magnet man, Stage Music. And Mega man. 4 was probably my second favorite though. After Mega Man, 2.
I like to the dive man stage. And the rush submarine, that was always fun. To play.
What I really love, though is just as much as the game play and all that. Stuff of the Mega Man games was the music. That probably they probably had the best like soundtrack of any series of games.
In my opinion, you know?
But yeah, I guess this has been my whole weekend. Pretty much, uh,
Just piddling around and
Sleeping and having crazy dreams, practicing guitar and blabbering. And Making blog posts. I haven’t done. You know, I didn’t do a lot of it last week.
It’s like I don’t really have anything else to say, but I don’t want to stop talking. Isn’t that a isn’t that retarded?
But yeah, I don’t know. People talk about where you go. When you die, and where you come from? You know, people just love to declare like, you know, you were nothing before you were born, and You know, then you’ll be nothing after you die but they don’t know that.
I remember when I had my first past life flashback, which, I’ve talked about I have no idea what post that’s on either. It’s some sometime back in June
Uh, I made a post about all that stuff.
As far as like going back and linking to that article but
Shit. Hahaha
Those.
There’s just so much to it, you know, but that and this is just 1 Planet, you know. This is just 1 like race of people like, you know,
Gosh. It’s so vast and Limitless. Virtually Limitless like the universe. You know, there’s just so much
And human beings are, um, They have a very limited perspective on eternity and you know, life and death and all that stuff. It’s
It’s funny. They just that people just think they know anything about the stuff and the ones who know the least are the ones who you know seem like they Are the most vocal about it.
You know, they’re the first ones to declare that it’s just a bunch of crap, you’re just born and you live and
You die. And that’s it. You’re over. It’s no more and That’s not entirely true.
I still think it’s funny that humans to measure the distance between like celestial bodies in light years.
You know, a year.
You know, the rotation of the Earth. It’s just, I don’t know, I haven’t thought about this stuff a whole lot in a while but it’s just funny.
It’s like when people used to think everything revolved around the Earth. You know, they they found out that it was not that wasn’t the case. You know, they thought it used to people used to think the Sun and the Moon revolve around the earth, you know. It’s not that different now. It’s just still, you know,
Um, figure out like how things really work, eventually, I guess even though it does, I don’t know. How to talk about this?
I feel like people are listening to me.
I guess that’s kind of the thing about having 5 roommates. So I just
Really feel like I’m
I don’t ever know when people are listening to me talk.
I don’t know why it matters, you know, it just I think reality overlaps like other people’s versions of reality. I think that’s another reason I spend so much time alone.
And the people I relate to.
The most, you know, we’re scattered all over like
Most of my friends, you know, are like the friends that I can relate to that. I met in person. Uh, they all moved off. And a lot of my other friends that I can relate to, you know, they’re just scattered all over the planet.
I don’t know I guess my point is human beings don’t know shit. Yeah they act like they do though.
Well, in general. Yeah, I mean, some people know, a whole lot
But, I guess people in the comment sections. Of Facebook reels, you know, the bulk of them, don’t, you know, people the ones who shit all over Ying. We moms teams guitar playing. Haha
Yeah, like those people who don’t know anything but those are the same people who are, you know, they just They don’t exactly know what happens when you die, which is nothing, right?
I guess it’s like me and my ex-wife used to talk about this stuff. You know, she talked about like Souls. We were talking about souls and she didn’t believe in Souls you know like well maybe it’s because you don’t have 1. Hahaha
You know, maybe nothing is going to happen to those people, you know, like that maybe they are.
Just,
Everything has a purpose though, you know.
Just think about all the stuff like people’s jobs and what it takes to like. Just get you like like if you order food from a restaurant, like a taco. Like what all went in to getting that taco, you know?
Like the meat. You know, came from a animal that was You know. Grew up on a farm. Is that the right way to say that though?
I guess raised.
And then, oh, you know, like
All that goes into making that animal grow to where it could be killed and eaten. And how it’s killed and, you know, processed and then it Goes to a place. That makes the taco meat.
And all the seasonings and spices and where all that stuff comes from. And all the people that have to like work to get that. Produced and delivered. And, you know, so on and so forth. The same thing with the fucking taco shell and the cheese if you like, cheese on your tacos.
And the lettuce and the tomatoes and the salsa. And
The table that, you know, the plate that the tacos are on and the place. That you’re eating it in or if you get it delivered to your house, you know? It’s just so much goes into that. It. It’s funny but you know lots and lots of you know billions and billions of people.
That’s how most of this stuff is generated is through other people.
I guess every, you know, it’s
I mean, it would be kind of dumb to have that present in your mind every time you ate a taco but it’s it’s just, I don’t know. I think about that. Sometimes it’s like, dang just like this guitar, you know, that I bought. It’s made out of wood. And, you know, the trees wood comes from trees and I was just wondering like, what Forest?
Where in the world? The wood comes from and then that’s the different kind of wood on the fretboard. And then these strings are
- Nylon
Turn keys are made out of plastic and
Metal.
Brass. I think part of the Tuning key is.
The gear here on the, there’s a worm gear. Looks like that’s, uh,
Some kind of composite.
And then this, uh,
The other gear.
3:46 PM
Is um, looks like it’s made out of brass. But yeah just all the stuff and then I have a capo you know, it has Some little Parts on it, too. I wonder where that spring is manufactured. On the Capo because it’s 1 of those clip on them. Like a
Like a clothes pin. Yeah, I don’t know what the hell.
I guess my point to all that is though all those billions of people, a lot of them just have Bullshit opinions about things and I’m sure there’s really good reasons, why? You know, they uh, They do. You know.
I guess so. Kind of a crude way to look at it is, you know,
Probably supposed to a lot of things exist for contrasts. You know.
I know that sound might sound kind of mean.
But,
If everybody thought the same thing or whatever they couldn’t argue on Facebook posts,
And then what fun would any of that be right?
Yeah. Like I took a lot of that stuff as far as I could. And I just got burned out on it. And I don’t really care to like argue with people or tell people off anymore. It’s just like yeah, you know. They’ll either figure it out they were wrong or somebody else. Oh, you know will come along and set them straight. You know I did a lot of that too. I was just
I guess I retired. My online arguing stuff.
Yeah, I’m I’m I’m retired. Hahaha
I guess that’s a good way to put it.
Every now and then though I’ll come out and give somebody what for if they’re just You know, something’s just really if it’s like
It just depends though but not regularly at all. Like maybe. Maybe 2 or 3 times a year. I’ll argue with somebody online about something
Well, shit, I don’t know what else to say. I think I’m going to edit this. And uh,
Post it. Yeah. And then, um, Maybe either practice guitar, or take a nap.
I think that’s what.
I think that’s what I’m going to do. Yeah.
I said, yay. Thank you. Please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 