MERRY CHRISTMAS OMG🎅🎅🎄🎄🎄YAY

Yesterday 7:40 AM
Well.

12:39 AM
Yeah, I guess I was going to make A, um,

Dang, that was yeah. Yesterday morning Haha and I was starting to make a post. Well, it’s Christmas! Yes

I passed out. Yeah, I was, it was just like well, I’ll make a post later and I fell asleep.

Gosh, it was like

8, something. Yeah, A mmm. And I woke up after 5:00 p.m. yesterday. It still feels like the same day, but it’s technically, it’s the next day, it’s after midnight, right?

Gosh. I have a bunch of stuff to do. I have to go get the kids. And we’re going to have a big adventure.

For Christmas.

Absolutely, that’s a coffee left. I have a lot of this coffee. Left that I bought because I was going to stay up. Like most of the day. And work on music but I just couldn’t.

And I went out earlier. You know, I don’t check anything. I don’t keep up with anything. I’m just like

Present. You know, and and in the right now with my brains

It’s sometimes it’s more fun that way sometimes though, it’s like, what is wrong with me? At an example of that was earlier, I guess it was about 8:00. P.m. Yes. And uh, I went out. I was going to get some food and I thought, well, you know, Culver’s is probably open. I was craving a fish sandwich. And a big large Coke. And the french fries and maybe even a, um,

Caramel cookie dough, sundae Yeah, I was and uh, lo and behold. It was fucking closed. Well, it’s Christmas Eve. It was you know? And so I was just like what the fuck? Of course it’s closed. And then the McDonald’s up the street was closed and the Kroger was closed and the food city was closed.

The Taco Bell was open, but I have had enough Taco Bell for the rest of my life. I only ever ate Taco Bell after I met my ex fiance because it reminded me of my ex fiance It’s a, it’s horrible. Shitty fucking food, you know, it’s like the worst fast food. There is this Taco Bell. And um, Don’t get me started, right? Yeah, fake.

You know, ingredients that isn’t real food. McDonald’s though. I mean it’s the same way. That’s not that’s like plastic food but you it’s not but it is not real food. Culver’s is real food, though? Haha maybe

And uh, It was closed though haha and all the grocery stores, you know, I was like, Just I’ll be danged you know everything’s just fucking closed and uh so I ended up going to the RaceTrac and getting 2 pieces of pizza.

2 kochs.

Coax. 2 kochs. 2 cocoa coalesce. What the fuck y’all really? That’s this app. I got 2 regular coats.

2, regular Coca-Cola’s. Thanks, Jesus Christ.

They were uh, buy 1, get 1 for a dollar and uh,

I don’t know, maybe like, call me, you know, normal or whatever. But that’s still my favorite soda is just plain regular flavored Coke.

Yeah, finally. And uh,

I got a Reese’s Fast Break and man, those things are so good. They remind me of um, I used to eat them a lot when I lived in The Farmhouse, I would just walk up to the store and

Yeah, it was a 20 minute walk though to the store. It wasn’t like. Next door or anything.

And I almost fell back asleep. I did. I was like, I got here and I ate those pizzas pieces of pizza, and I ate that.

King size, Reese’s Fast Break and I just laid here and I thought. Yeah, and almost fell asleep. But I got woke back up.

Um, just by my own thoughts in my head. I was like Drifting away, you know, into Dreamland. And then I started thinking about like bad stuff.

Like Brittany? Yeah, because I was like

I don’t know where to start. She hasn’t been pecking on my blog though in maybe 2 weeks and that’s uh, I guess, the ultimately, it’s good, it’s like, leave me the hell alone you should have done this, you know? 2 years ago. But anyways, like, you know, longer ago than that really but

That’s just 1 of those things that it’s like,

I reckon I get it but I don’t understand it, but you’d think her and I would have ended up together.

That’s another 1 of those crazy things that life throws at you.

But it is it’s easy for me to think about, like, romanticize a bunch of junk and then it’s like, no, she did all this crazy shit. Like you can’t forget that. You can’t. Forget all the mean crazy shit she did, you know, and I can say the same thing about my ex fiance and my ex-wife and Like I’m so traumatized from all that shit. That’s why I’m like I’ve been single almost 5 years. In 2 months, 5 years. I’ve been single. Like I don’t date or anything. I, I can’t even call. Like, I went out, I took my friend Natalie roller skating last year and that didn’t really count as a date. That was like,

I felt really bad for her. It wasn’t romantic. I’m not going to get started off on a rant about Natalie though. It’s just

She’s probably the most tragic person, I know. It’s really sad.

But I still never got. I’ve never gotten used to like the holiday season. Just being by myself because I had I had like family shit. You know and stuff with my ex-wife. I had that for the better part of

My adult life. You know, for 18 years and it was like, dang, of course, I still have the kids and I am getting the kids. For the first time since the divorce like for the whole day on Christmas.

And uh,

That makes me really happy. And, you know, like, I talked about, you know, sometimes it’s like, oh, I wish I had a girlfriend and all this shit. Well, first of all,

I just don’t think it’s still, I’m still not. Ready. I guess not. After all that crazy shit. That happened with Brittany. I’m still talking about it way too much.

And um, Like and, and, and it’s still, it’s really not even like

At this point, it’s just stupid. Yeah, it’s like, you know, we should have been together, we should have ended up together, but We didn’t I don’t know where to start talking about all this crap but like uh, I miss my kids more than I wish. I had a girlfriend though. Yeah, it was kind of my thoughts yesterday, as I was leaving work. Because we got off work at like,

11:00 something maybe, I don’t remember. Yeah, and I saw Helmet Girl on the way out, and I just thought,

I can’t, you know, I just can’t

Not after like the I made that post about it, right? Um yeah I just can’t I can’t talk to her and then there was this other chick who’s like this quality chick and she’s I can’t talk to her either and then there was there’s this other Lady. I went off on a rant about, uh, For Father’s Day. And I just still can’t bring myself to talk to any of them. It’s like man, I just can’t I got to get through the holidays, you know, I can’t like be throwing any like extra shit in the holiday stuff because

I guess I’m not.

Psychologically, like

I don’t know how to fit anything else in right now, you know, I’m not really sure how to explain it but it just feels like it’s like no just at the very least wait till after the holidays before you try and get mixed up with anybody,

And I guess, yeah. That sounds Probably sounds stupid. But,

It is stupid, but at the same time, like the longer I’ve been single the less I really care. And I guess the only reason I’m talking about it. Like I am right now is because it’s remarkable. You know, I’ve never been like by myself for this long, you know, since I met my ex-wife.

25 years ago.

Yeah, it was like dang because I always had  somebody. And then it’s like, you know, then I didn’t. And then

The years, just go past and it’s like well shit, you know?

I guess it’s really not that big of a deal. Yeah.

The Human Experience really is like this. It’s remarkable all this shit that like actually goes into this world and And like, you know, the whole

Being like human. You know, it’s pretty complicated but it’s It’s not. It’s just there’s a lot to it but then it doesn’t have to be, you know, you can simplify it at any time.

You can over complicate your life and you can oversimplify your life, I guess, I don’t.

I still don’t have. The enthusiasm for social media like I used to.

But I probably should, uh, Get out and practice my guitar here. Like after I make this post, I’m probably going to edit a lot of that crap out, you know?

Just in case somebody from work stumbled on it and it’s like, hey, what? Because that’s what happens. That has that happens a lot.

It has happened a lot in the past. Yeah. I don’t think I feel like, people don’t really care like, they used to about. My stuff and that’s actually kind of good.

Yeah.

It’s not that I’m any less interesting or anything. I just don’t express myself on social media, the way I used to.

And

My priorities have shifted a little bit.

But, uh, I don’t know.

I’ve got a Canon tomorrow morning. I’ve got a can. Of tamales. You know. I can eat those later.

Within it’s like part of me wants to just go to sleep again but I can’t. Because I’m too wound up now, because I just slammed this fucking coffee.

I’ve got almost an entire Coke left.

Did I mention I shaved off my beard.

Yeah, now I’ll look fucking thirty years old.

30 is actually really young when you’re like in your teens and 20s. You think 30 is old But it isn’t. At all. And when I was 30, I could have passed for a 20 year old

But when I was 20, I could pass like I looked older when I was younger and Yeah, now that I’m older. I look younger. It’s funny.

I don’t know.

It’s like,

I don’t know where to I don’t really care, you know? I just I haven’t made a blog post in a few days and I haven’t been posting regularly.

I don’t want to because it’s Christmas. I said I wanted to because it’s Christmas.

I don’t know. It’s after midnight. It’s almost 1:00 a.m. and I think

I don’t know who all’s home. I know.

At least 3 of my roommates are home but I think 2 of them are awake and 1 of them downstairs. She usually sleeps. She usually turns in early or then like like, you know, 9 or 10:00 and she’s out.

I think 2 of my roommates, they, uh, they stay up late like I do.

I’ve really enjoyed this last round of Night Shift.

You know, sucks that it’s going to be over though. After the shutdown, I have to go back on days.

It still hasn’t hit me that I have like almost 2 weeks off, though.

12:58 AM
Yeah.

I have to go in the third and work, half a day. And then it’s like, I get paid, you know, over time for that. Because it’s a Saturday and then it’s like, well, I’m off that Sunday and then I get to go back to work on days.

And day shift. And night shift or 2 completely different worlds. At my job, though. It really is.

Like, all the normal stuff, all the Japanese people are there on day shift. And like, just all the, uh,

The administration, all the like big, you know,

Management people and stuff are there. It’s kind of like, uh,

I don’t know on night shift its opposite. It’s a lot more relaxed. Yeah, it is. It’s like You know.

But um, gosh, I just

I want to do so much stuff but I guess. Uh, resting is a priority, you know? Right now. I’ve been so fucking strung out the last. Haha Now the last 5 months, I guess. Since the last since the summer shutdown. Yeah. This is this is a hard job. This is the hardest Factory job I’ve ever had. Like it makes the Honda plant look like fucking Burger King or something.

And the Honda plant was not an easy job.

Yeah, it was rough.

It takes a special kind of crazy. To work at a car factory and handle like the just the repetitious stuff over and over and over because it will like make you insane but the swing shifts. And then dealing with all the other people that you have to work with and it’s just Gosh.

And I think I guess that’s the other thing about day shift, like all the engineers and the people who they want to come and they want to like observe your processes and video your shit and they’re trying to improve everything, and they don’t know their head from their ass. And they’ve never Worked on the line. They just have a degree. Or something, those people get annoying and they’re all over the place on day shift.

People and these ergonomics people. Um, it’s like gosh, what a bunch of bullshit.

I think a lot of that stuff exists for liability. Here, you know like lawsuits and stuff. It’s like, hey but we got people out, you know, to to check on that stuff.

But they don’t really they just

Exist. They don’t really make a difference. I’m not going to get started on a rant about that actually because there was a a part of 1 of my processes. That’s so fucked up and these fucking stupid ass people came in there. And they made it worse. And expected me. They’re like what do you think about this new, you know, thing and I’m like, it sucks. And they looked so like,

Gosh. Insulted wasn’t really insulted. It it it’s it hurt them though, you know, it’s like you could tell they put a lot of thought. And stuff into something that was Functionally, a gigantic pile of bullshit. It’s like, I like the old way better. This didn’t improve the process. It didn’t make things easier. It makes it harder. And here’s why. And let me show you, and they got fucking like,

Weird about it. But it’s like, you know, I’m the 1 who does this shit every day and I’m not going to get off on a big stupid rant about engineers because I had to deal with them. All the Time when I was a generator technician and you know, this stuff is so common though with like any kind of field Any kind of professional field that you would think by now, you know, the, the gap between engineers and technicians and you know, the people who actually deal with the things on a practical real like World level, instead of people who just sit inside of like, An office and design bullshit on a computer, you know, the Gap there that the the Juxtaposition, the imbalance I guess that exists between those 2 roles would have been cleared up a little better by 2025. But no, it’s like, it’s It’s ridiculous.

It’s like that’s a good idea, but it’s You know, functionally retarded. Yeah, that that looks really cool on paper.

Anyways, Merry Christmas. Yay.

Haha, thank you, please.