SATURDAY AFTERNOON

1:27 PM
Well, it’s Saturday. What am I doing?

I am.

Laying in my bed, being lazy.

I should probably clean up my room. I went outside of my room earlier.

This morning and my roommates had their rooms open. And they were really clean and I was like, dang mine’s not so much. Haha

I don’t know.

Mine, it’s not too bad. It’s just clutter You know, it’s I think I have

A little

I guess. Well, I need to get. Yeah.

I’ll, I’ll do it later. I just got back from Walmart though and

Got some oranges.

Up and craving oranges. I have been, I said,

Wanting oranges all day and I went and got some and I ate like 2 and Also got some cupcakes and another half gallon of milk.

Yeah, those confetti cakes fucking sucked honestly. I don’t know. It seems like I got them before and they were good. But I don’t think I got them before. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I think I got a different kind of cupcake. Yeah, it’s kind of hard to beat cupcakes. Just for, you know, especially if they’re chocolate. With milk.

I still have some oranges left too.

I’ve got a bunch of oranges left, actually,

And uh, my another 1 here in a minute.

I said I might eat another 1. I’m really tired.

It’s uh, I wanted to make a post earlier. I just couldn’t I’m so tired. Yeah, I was sick you know, at the end of last week and it took me a few days to get over that like And then just work has kicked my fucking ass this week.

I can’t remember the last time, Let’s see. Uh, I had energy for extra things.

It’s been a couple of months.

I wonder if there’s something wrong with me sometimes like,

I don’t know. When’s the last time I had like, a checkup at the doctor it’s been, um,

2022. I got sick. I got really sick and I went to the doctor.

And I got a doctor’s, excuse for work. It’s when I worked at the first car factory when I worked, where I work now. The first time, you know, And uh, uh,

I don’t know, I was fine. Yeah, I just was sick but that’s the last time I went to see a doctor and that’s been almost 4 years ago.

And shit. It had been. Probably 4 years before that. Well probably. Yeah, since I went to the doctor before that.

Um, because I had gotten really sick. I think the last couple of weeks of March, of 2018, it was right before my ex-wife, and I split up. I had the flu. And I didn’t rest or anything, I just had to keep going. I had a bunch of shit I had to do. And I end up getting new momentum. New mono. I got pneumonia. Yeah, thanks. And uh, I was just so sick and my dad was giving me shit about it. And uh, my ex-wife was in Minneapolis. At an English Honor Society conference. Yeah. She is the English teacher. And I remember I was trying to like, explain how sick I am. To my ex-mother-in-law and uh, she just kept bitching at me because she was having to, you know, watch the kids. And she’s like, you know, you have a family to take care of and all this stuff. It’s like, I have pneumonia. What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re normal. Like, there’s nothing wrong with, like, your, your health. There is with your brains. I don’t know. 2018 was a really fucked up year.

Gosh don’t reach back in there and and fucking think about all that shit. I was just thinking about the last time you know, I was The time before last I went to the doctor. I went to the doctor then yeah.

And uh, it really You know, it sucked and then um, you know, My ex-wife came back. Yeah and uh you know, I got better and then about a week later we split up. She just

Yeah, I don’t know. Yeah, I don’t think about all that. But 1 thing that happened when I was at Walmart. Is uh,

I was about to. I had just checked out. I just paid for my stuff and I was walking out the door. And I looked over into the produce section, and there was like,

I thought I saw my mom. Yeah, it was weird. It was this woman. Uh, she had the hair and she had a mask on. Like, my mom always wore masks to the grocery store.

And I just, you know, for a split second, I saw the hair the long ass white hair. And the eyes, the big eyeballs with a mask on, uh, and I just thought that was for a second. It was almost like I was at the store with my mom and uh, it really messed with me. I started crying and like, I was just Choked up all the way to my car and I was like, dang, you know? And then that unraveled a bunch of stuff like me thinking, you know, cuz my mom starved herself to death last year at my sister’s

And,

It was really awful.

And I thought everything was getting better or you know my sister had found her a place to live and everything. I mean there’s a lot of backstory to this right? Obviously. Yeah. And but anyways, I thought everything was going to be okay with my mom and she just had some big crazy episode. 1 day.

My sister realized that she couldn’t go live by herself and she ended up losing like the rent deposit at this place and everything. And I think about a month or so later, my mom was dead. Yeah, but she started calling around and telling everybody that. My sister and I were trying to murder her for the insurance money and you know, I certainly wasn’t trying to do that and I don’t think my sister did either. I think you know, Mom was just being My mom. After her. And my dad got a divorce, she was going to give birth. To this child who was going to heal the world. And her name was going to be Marcia Moline Moore.

Moline, Marcia Moline Moore.

Moline. Why does it not picking up Moline? Moline. Like Moline. I’m gonna have to type that in. Madeline.

God, this app sucks. I don’t know what they did to it, but anyways, uh, So it’s initials would be like, hmm. Yeah, like mmm. You know, it’s it was weird. It was really weird. And this was like 2001 or something. Yeah.

My mom had all this stuff too like uh she had my grandma’s piano. And like all my sister and my like stuffed animals when we were kids and a whole bunch of stuff in a storage unit, 1 year, I think this was like 2005 or 6 And, And she lost it. She didn’t say anything to anybody. She didn’t like tell anybody’s like hey I’ve got all this stuff, all y’alls stuff, you know all these childhood memories and your grandma’s piano. It was a nice piano. I mean, you know, it was a couple of grand worth of fucking stuff.

And, uh, instead of saying something to anyone, you know, she just didn’t say anything. She just stopped paying it. She, I mean I don’t think she could pay it. I think something happened and she wasn’t able to pay it but shit she didn’t tell anyone like, you know, She lost everything. Yeah. And uh, we would have totally helped her.

That was a big source of. I was like that caused a lot of conflict. Yeah, cuz it’s like, hey, you know, I really would have liked to had that stuff if you’re just going to lose it. But um, I would have helped her At least helped her and got all that stuff out

Well

Now, I’m tired and I don’t feel like talking about this stuff anymore. My mom also helped me an insane amount after the divorce too.

Yeah, it’s Saturday and I’ve been watching, uh,

Tool assisted. Speedruns. On uh, On YouTube of like Mega Man, the Mega Man games.

And uh, At first though, I didn’t know that was a thing. Really what it is is like they the people they’ll get an emulator and they’ll program it to like automatically do all these like step-by-step you know movements Oh, sometimes some of these things because they incorporate like glitches and a lot of these glitches. You can’t really execute. Uh,

You know, in just 1 single playthrough, you know, with human like you know stuff you have to program it into a computer. And some of these people spend years, programming, a speed-run through a particular game. And it’s crazy to watch, but the first 1 of them I ever watched, I didn’t know that’s what it was. I thought somebody was just like playing the shit out of this game. I was like, wow, I wish I was That good at Mega Man. You know, I was always pretty good at it, but not like that. And uh but that’s it wasn’t a person. It was the it was a computer program, you know, running it.

That, uh, I learned about all that stuff last night because I was it was remarkable.

That’s the kind of stuff that um, my friend Eric is into except he’s like into Mario and everything and I didn’t I didn’t realize I still hadn’t heard of that though. Like the tool assisted speedruns.

Anyways, but that’s what I’ve been doing. I woke up this morning about 6:30 and

I think I fell back asleep, actually. At some point. And then I got woken up my roommate, 1 of my roommates and I can’t ever tell which 1 it is.

Ah, was talking really loud with somebody else and they talked the same so I didn’t know who was saying what and

I was like, dang. Yeah, I think I can’t remember what hour that was.

It seemed like it was 2 or 3 hours ago. Um, but then I started getting hungry and Just really craving oranges for some reason. So that’s what And then when I was at Walmart,

I thought, you know, you need to make a blog post today. Yep. And uh, but then Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve already said all that.

But next week ought to be better because I get paid. I’m also really low on money like Like, I don’t have hardly any money. I’m going to have to get tomorrow. I’m going to go back out and get SpaghettiOs. I’ve got to do a bunch of recording tomorrow, too. I have just enough money. For gas. And like some really cheap shitty food to get me through until I get paid again.

And uh,

Yeah, this is the Brokest, probably since the summer, I think I said that last post that this is the most

Broke. I’ve been probably in 6 months. Yeah, thanks Christmas.

Haha. And uh, but next week I get paid. Uh, and then I’m off the next day. Like I get paid next Wednesday afternoon and then I got, I took a vacation day because I got to go get tires. And uh, that’s going to be nice.

Yep. And then I’m going to do something with the kids next weekend and that’s really all. I have to look forward to is recording tomorrow.

1:41 PM
Then I get paid. And then doing stuff with the kids and the tires. I’m excited about getting new tires. I’ll probably go get some lottery tickets, too.

I think more than ever before. I wish I could just win the damn Lottery. I was thinking about that, uh, yesterday, as I was working.

I have to do this really shitty process that I throw the whole wiring harness for the front of the car into the car. It’s like the whole It’s like the big main wiring harness where the fuse box is, it’s the shittiest thing I’ve ever done for money. And I was just thinking I was like, man.

Like I never thought about retirement or anything like you know, I just, I’ll work forever, you know. And uh I just I was thinking about how much I wish I could win the lottery. I think it was yesterday. I was Just had enough. I’ve just had enough of it. It really sucks.

Oh my God. Sometimes I really miss house remodeling.

Last weekend. When I was painting for my roommate, I had the house remodeling flashbacks, haha so I was like, man, I missed this.

I miss painting. I miss uh, Building decks and doing tile, showers and flooring. I miss sawing wood, I miss spraying cabinets and building cabinets.

Uh,

I’m going to see, I sprayed boards with

Lacquer, you know, with paint and the sealer and the clear coat. Yeah, I miss it. I miss making wood look beautiful. Ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Uh, but that that is that’s the most the best times I ever had working was house remodeling, and I always got really cool pictures when I did generators too. I had a lot of fun with that. I always took like really cool pictures of everything because I was like, yeah, cuz I wasn’t on a factory line, you know? But yesterday though it was the first time I had really started questioning like, do I really want to how long do I want to do this? Like, because of the maintenance thing? I’m not going to be able to do that until next year. At the very least even though I just remember I need to Go ahead and fill out that application, but I’m not going to make it because I don’t meet the deadline for the the hire on Deadline, which is just, that’s just how it, you know, it’s kind of how the cards fell but um,

If I can’t get into something like offline here in the next few months, like, I don’t know. I’ll probably tough it out though, because, I mean, I don’t know where I’m going to go at. And make this much money. That’s the only thing. But I still, I’m still broke because I spend that much more money on my kids.

Of course, I’m I’m going to start saving this year. I have goals.

I think I mentioned in the last post.

I really need to get my credit straightened out.

But uh, the biggest thing is that repossession. Yeah, that was like I still owed, probably $13,000 on that car.

I really do love cupcakes.

I’ll just add another 1.

Well, I guess I’m going to wrap this up because this has turned into a really long post.

And I might just go back to sleep.

Yay.

Thank you, please.