SATURDAY EVENING

5:42 PM
I guess I’m kind of tired. Yeah. But I have the energy to make a blog post. I was playing guitar earlier.

Nylon strings, are Uh, they’re different. Yeah, they are.

Of course, I’ve got my other guitar too. Got 2 more guitars and a bass actually and my keyboards.

Wish I had more energy. I don’t

Probably go back to sleep after I eat another Orange.

I have eaten almost all of these oranges. I’ve eaten all the cupcakes. But I haven’t drank all the milk.

Call me crazy.

I only spent ten dollars at Walmart.

I’m proud of that. Have 36 dollars left.

Yep.

That’s going to get me through until Wednesday afternoon. Um, Let’s see, I’m probably 15 at least. 15 of that, is going to have to go to gas. Yep.

I’ll figure I’m going to get. I think I’ve talked about this the other night. I’m going to get some lima beans. Because they taste good with Ramen. I don’t know how shit ton of ramen left. I said I have a lot. Yeah I said I do.

Oh my God.

I’m just laying around like a lump.

I have a lot to do tomorrow though. So Um, yeah.

You know it sure is though really weird? To be on a planet, like the third dimension. With all the stuff you can touch and lay on. And eat. I know and you need to eat things. Everything apparently does here in this realm.

I was watching some, uh,

Videos of mushrooms like growing. What’s it called? Or the

Um,

I just can’t think of words like I used to, if it’s not something I use regularly.

Time elapsed. God, I don’t know why time lapse fucking videos. Why couldn’t think of that term? Yeah, that was pretty cool. It’s like, you know, these things just grow out of a log and they eat the log for like energy and stuff.

And animals to eat each other.

And some animals. Eat those mushrooms, you know that I just mentioned and people to put them in salads and on pizzas.

Life can be really hard though, no matter where you’re at. Even if you’re a human of all the good things, That people have developed over the centuries. And that’s a weird funny thing to think about people are People who were a lot tougher back then, but they, you know, they had to be or they died. So if somebody was, you know, in their 30s or 40s, they were pretty fucking tough. Or they were dying, haha

But these days,

Everything’s just so. Accessible, and convenient.

The only reason that I have a job making as much money as I do, it’s so fucking hard. Sometimes I just Don’t know why I’m there. Uh, but I mean, I do this because of the money. Yeah, I sometimes just I just wonder if it’s worth it.

But then I remember, you know, I have a little higher standard of, like, things mostly, I just spend it with the kids onto the, on the kids. Yeah. And it’s good for their development, because we do a lot of, like, Crazy. Things. Stuff, They don’t get to do with their mom, like Adventure and travel and Experience crazy stuff.

I just kind of turn them loose, you know. Let them be themselves. They don’t have to worry. It’s all about fun. And Exploring the world. And, you know, hopefully

Tell them to learn, you know, from my mistakes, which the big ones were uh, you know. Make sure you get a college degree so you can have a decent amount of money. Uh, so you can keep doing it Adventures. Doing Adventures because I do like, I really put

Myself out sometimes. But I have to I’m their dad, that’s just kind of how it goes. Um, but you don’t want to work in a Factory.

I was in college. I talked about that though in in an earlier post, I’ve talked about that a lot about why I’m not in college anymore. But um I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to go back like that, that was like, The best opportunity, I was given post divorce. I just wasn’t in a great place to

Uh,

Really capitalize on it. Yeah, I don’t know. I was so screwed up but like, um,

But that I guess that goes to the other thing that I really screwed up on. Um, but if I hadn’t have, the kids wouldn’t exist but it’s like, you know, be really, really careful. Who you give your heart to because oh my God.

But I’m a little different in that respect also because I only wanted to love 1 woman forever and My ex-wife is, like, who I thought I got and I thought that was it. And I still like,

I don’t think that’s that’s something I’ll never get over. Ever.

And I’ve had to just accept that and make peace with the fact that I always be really screwed up.

In that area. And that’s okay, you know?

It’s fine.

I have other things to do and I didn’t give a lizard’s dick about that shit before I met my ex-wife either. So I’m finally getting back to where I am. Like where I was uh, at least in some ways.

Where I can actually be like. I feel healthier in my brains about a lot of stuff. Like that.

But I guess that’s the, uh, hard part of my life right now is Working so fucking much at a job. That’s just like, Jesus Christ. This is just too much, sometimes it really is. But I’m also just being a baby because I didn’t do shit for 2 weeks. And I got paid for it. Haha uh, it was just my body. Got used to uh, not doing anything because I didn’t do anything. Like physically strenuous at all. I wouldn’t I drove around with the kids, a bunch and doing stuff, and I played music

Um,

Okay, I don’t know. Anyways.

Uh,

But yeah, Just like what I’m doing today. What I’ve been doing today? Just laying around like a lump That’s what I did for the better part of those the last 2 weeks before this week. And so, when I went to work, it was like, just totally kicking my ass but it wasn’t before the shutdown. Yeah, I don’t know. I think a lot of it too. Is I’ve been going to the gym before work and I don’t really think that Is the best thing because it makes me tired. And if I go to the gym after work,

The gym girl is in there and it’s scary, you know, but the other one is in there in the mornings and they both

They both freak me out, but it’s okay. But like, I really need to get back into going to the gym.

After work, but I need to find a real gym. It’s different than at Honda this the gym where I’m at now is not as. Uh, it’s got treadmills and it’s got some dumbbells. With the bench press machine. Isn’t that great?

And like the machines aren’t that great. The Honda Jim was a fucking uh,

That was like 1 of the best gyms I’ve ever seen. Especially for a work gym. It was like, wow.

And I spent a lot of time in there A whole lot of time in there, like I got to where I was working out for 2 hours every day after work. And on the weekends I would come up there. The weekends I didn’t get my kids. Or, um, sometimes I would bring the kids.

Or I would do something. If I was on night shift, I would go to the gym and then go get my kids. Like sometimes I would spend 6 hours in the gym on a Saturday or a Sunday. Yeah, I did and I got in really good shape and I was like I quit working out for a little bit because I got really depressed. I don’t know. I don’t I’m not going to talk about all that though. Yeah, I just need to find like another gem. Yeah. Like a real 1. And it’s been spelling the word. Jim all kind of different.

In different ways. There’s a gem.

Yeah, I like that which is precious hahaha and then there’s gem. There’s a gem. There’s the gem.

Yeah, I guess it’s it’s funny how this app works, though. If like you put words around a word, it it tries to figure out what word you’re trying to use if it’s a homophone.

Like gem.

Yeah, now it’s just going to do that, but then there’s a person named Jim Yeah, see and did that. And then there’s the gym where you work out Right. Yeah, so it like good job App!

Yeah, great job app. Yay.

But I think that’s what I’m going to do next week. I’m going to find a real gem. You know, like a real gym to work out in. Yes. Ha ha ha.

So, I’m going to do.

That’s what I’m going to do. But I don’t know where I’m going to look up 1. It’s not going to be Planet Fitness, so yeah.

They had some really good ones. There’s like a chain in Marshall County, where I’m from. Um, and there’s like, there’s like 4 of them around in some different towns. I’m going to look up gems right now.

Gems to work out in.

Gymnasiums.

Yeah, or whatever.

Who the hell is Billy Carson? And why did I look him up on Google?

Your partner is a reflection of how much you love yourself.

Anyway, where was I at? What was I doing?

I don’t know who he is, but like, yeah, I still don’t. But like, uh, I don’t know, I don’t know why that was

I don’t know.

Where? Oh my God.

Oh, group text.

Oh, that’s got to be 24 hours. There’s a 24/7. Fitness center, but it’s closed.

They have child care.

Wow, 4.5 Stars.

Damn, there’s a lot of

So,

I’m going to ask the Huntsville Facebook group.

I did I posted, okay. Out of a 100,000 members, maybe somebody will point me in the right direction.

But that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to get a real gym membership.

And that way, I don’t have to freak out and hide from Jim ladies and uh, yeah from work and I’m just not going to make eye contact with anybody.

But that’s what I liked about. The Honda gym is uh, that nobody Was ever in there, you know? Maybe 2 or 3 other people.

I don’t know. It’s really funny though. I like, can hear my Roommate on the phone.

There’s life, you know, in the 3 dimensional space. But the biggest part of existence is like thoughts and feelings and Fucking shit like that. It’s like feelings are a huge. Are a huge part of the human experience and thoughts, and thoughts, and feelings are You know, they’re interconnected and they can manifest like in your physical form. You know, if you worry a lot you’re going to get You’re going to look like shit. You’re going to get old. If you have a lot of anxiety. It can give you stomach problems and cancer of the asshole.

If you hold in your emotions, if you let things get to you and you don’t Channel it out somewhere and

That’s a big thing about with music and art. For me, is I have a Direction? I can send all that crap. If I have to and music, you know, of course, Evokes. And invokes, um, thoughts and feelings and shit.

6:08 PM
Art and all that, which is what I’m like. That’s my. That’s what I do.

Even though I’m not doing a lot of it today, I will be tomorrow.

I have a lot to do tomorrow.

I really do. I need to clean up my room.

But I want to watch some more Mega Man, uh playthroughs. Like I want to watch Mega Man 4.

I think I watched about 3 quarters of

A speedrun.

Yeah. And uh,

I still haven’t watched, I watched 2 and 3 and 1.

I haven’t watched all of 4 or 5 and 6 and I don’t care about anything after that.

Doesn’t make a man’s, you know, for this, the Mega Man’s.

On the Super Nintendo. I didn’t really care for any of those. And I think they did.

A kind of it’s like a remake mashup though of uh,

Mega Man for the Genesis called Wy Wars. And I I just, yeah. Wally war wars. Wy. Dr. Wy

I don’t know. I’m saying, Wy.

Doctor Wy have the Mega, Man. Yeah, series, I guess not. But um, I’ll just type that in Dr. Wily

I think they also had 1 on the Game Boy, but I don’t even, I’ve never even played a Game Boy.

Like any of those?

I’ve only got 2, oranges left.

These are kind of green.

Not going to eat them.

Not yet.

I have another can of tamales and I have a can of that soup. That was pretty good.

Yeah, I don’t really know what I want to do. Except watch more of Videos of that. And

What else can I say, right? It’s Saturday night. I’ll probably Go out and play some music in the garage later on. I’ll probably fall asleep and wake back up.

I could use some coffee.

Yes. Maybe, I don’t know. Haha. Thank you, please.