FRIDAYYYYYYY

4:38 AM
Okay, I guess I’m driving to work.

I left about 10 minutes later than I wanted to, but

God. Oh my goodness.

I feel like crap. I’m just glad I get a 3-day weekend.

Yeah, I like I got my phone out to make a post and uh I usually don’t go that fast. There’s not hardly anybody on the road right now. And I’m on the interstate. And uh, I went around this person that was in like going slower than I am. I’m going like 65 Haha there was somebody going even slower than me. And so I went around them and I got my phone out and I was still in the like left lane, the far left lane, you know.

And some asshole comes up behind me going like

Fucking. 90 miles an hour or something really fast, and they passed me. Though, like in the other lane and then they like,

Dart right in front of me. In the left lane. I don’t know why. I mean, it’s like, okay yeah I’m in the left lane, but like you’re an idiot. And they did it just to be an asshole. It’s like nobody cares. Nobody’s on the fucking road. It’s like eat shit? You fucking, idiot!

God damn it.

Oh my God.

But yeah, people are really fucking stupid. You know, I don’t know why it’s like, yeah, I’m in the left lane, but who cares? It fucking nobody is on the road. Anyways.

That’s just how people are. I don’t know. I just it just cracked me up like about my roommate. He took he took my heater out of the garage. Maybe he didn’t realize it was mine. I don’t know what he thought, but he just likes to take stuff anyways. And that’s kind of a long story.

Is it though? Yeah, it has to do with like a former roommate. And uh, when I first moved in there,

I don’t really want to tell that story. I’ve actually told that story like 6 months ago, I don’t know. Um, But he’s moving out and I am not going to miss him. I will not miss that guy at all.

I just thought it was funny. He was like, oh yeah, I just grabbed it temporarily last week. It’s like, okay? It’s been, you know, whatever you want to say, it’s fine. It’s like, just, I’m just glad I got it back. I didn’t mean to go off on like a 4,000, some odd word, like, You know, Nostalgia trip with the last post but I did. Haha I don’t, I’ve never posted any pictures like that about The Farmhouse or anything, and it really was and sometimes I really just like, Miss that time, but it was a really Hard time. It was, and it’s almost like after I’d gotten, after the the car factories, after about a year passed that I didn’t live there, I kind of forgot it. How hard? You know, everything.

Had been. Because this Then it got really hard all over again except instead of living in The Farmhouse. I lived with my mom.

And a big reason I lived with my mom. Oh, let’s see like a year. I guess longer than I really needed to. Was because, uh, I couldn’t afford to move out. But you know, initially it’s because I didn’t want to leave her by herself and then about the time I was like, you know, it’s okay she uh, Floods the bathroom and they up the rent two hundred and fifty dollars. And uh,

On purpose. Did it on purpose? She did Yeah.

Uh, it’s just crazy stuff and I hate it. I don’t want to. I don’t like talking about my mom though, like that. But

Uh, But she did. Yeah. Like

I feel so bad. I was looking through all my old pictures last night, finding pictures of The Farmhouse. And, uh, every everything I found that had my mom in, it, made me sad.

Mom was a really complicated. Tragic person.

But she had this. Crazy like sense of pride. And uh, I don’t know like, like this dignified like

Oh,

I guess.

Like manner, how she conducted everything, even the the mean stuff she did was like She’s like, It’s like some she was like some some somebody from a novel in the like turn of the century or something. It was like I don’t know.

My mom was a very

Gifted musician.

And she had the most beautiful singing voice.

And you know, she did hurt a lot of the people close to her. But I would like to think that she helped a lot more people than she hurt, like she did a lot of stuff. Like she was always involved in community outreach programs and nursing homes like,

Stuff. And

Oh, she was just she did a lot of good things.

And my sister still hasn’t like put together her memorial service that she’s been. It’s been almost a year since she’s passed, you know.

But I don’t know. I messaged my sister. I’m kind of I just don’t really I don’t even know the last time I talked to my sister. I just called her out on some crap. And then I didn’t even read the last,

This big wall of text. Yeah, she sent me like I was like, I’m not even

Not even reading that I can’t stand when people. Like,

I don’t know a fancy way to put it. They just avoid personal accountability. You know.

And and it’s not, you know, there’s like a thing, I guess a lot of stuff I’ll read online. Like it’s a common thing that women do, but it’s a common thing that human beings. Do they just for something? They’ll do something shitty and they just can’t face the fact that they did something shitty. It’s like, no, you you did. Really shitty. Uh, it’s 1 reason why I try not to be because it hurts to be shitty when I was younger, you know, and I was stupid. I was like, I was shitty.

Yeah, a lot. And I was because I was ignorant as fuck, and I grew up, you know, at least in that way, I grew up And a lot of people don’t uh I can’t even remember who I was reading. Some gigantic article about it 1 day. About how most people just stay in a state of prolonged. Adolescence. They don’t really mature past like they don’t have to Um, mature much past Middle School, you know? I mean, human beings. On the average or something, aren’t.

You know, they are uh, it’s not that they’re bad, they’re just like,

They’re selfish and they’re like, they just don’t. They’re not that.

Uh,

They Don’t Really hold themselves to higher standards of uh, you know, conduct and like higher ideals.

Uh, You know, they just don’t have any kind of sense of like a greater responsibility to the universe to you know, raise their Awareness. Or something, I don’t know. Like, well, if you take the chakras, the chakras system, you know, like most people never go above the third chakra.

It’s just a fact.l

Their worlds are really small, there’s not a whole lot going on outside of themselves.

Um, You know, that’s like

How people are?

That’s just how people are. Yeah. I don’t know.

Gosh, I’m already almost to the exits. I want to go to the gym. I do, but I just, I don’t know. I’m probably going to regret not going. Though.

If I don’t go,

But I have, I’ve been sick and I’ve had a cough all week and I obviously am talking retarded. You know.

Uh, but now I’m starting to cough up like crap. And uh, but I don’t know that may actually be a good thing. I think it’s trying to clear itself out of my lungs. There’s a walk-in clinic where I work. They’ll give you like antibiotics and shit. There’s like a doctor’s office. Yeah. In my, uh, where I work.

I just don’t want. So I want to spend the money here, it’s like a $45 copay.

But yeah, I mean most people outside of like their basic you know, Comforts and their needs getting their like, you know, their basic needs met. They like You know. I mean, like people who like manipulate and lie about shit, Like my roommate who took my heater fucking 2 months ago. You know, I just, I just have really. It wasn’t that big of a deal because I have another 1, but I knew if I didn’t say something before he moved out, He would probably take it with him. And I would never see it again and I’d be like hey what happened to my space? Heater, you know, I don’t know and I started to just be like look, dude, you’ve had that for 2 months, so but then it’s like, you know, he might not have realized it was mine.

So, uh, you know, it’s not a big deal. It’s just I don’t know why you would lie about it.

Except to, you know, make yourself seem less shitty, but then he just made himself look more shitty to me. It’s just I don’t. Like when people are full of crap in any capacity, it’s really not that big of a deal. Like what’s called a white lie, a little white.

Lie. A little white lie. Yeah. Like oh it’s harmless and I guess ultimately, I mean whatever dude. But You know, it’s not like he’s ever going to grow as a person past where he’s at now, cuz he’s in his damn thirties, and he sleeps with stuffed animals. So, I mean.

Oh gosh.

Hey, I’m at the store.

I’ll be right back.

You too. Thank you.

Oh my God.

Oh anyways, I just ate. Yeah, I stopped at the RaceTrac gas station. And I got a double sausage.

Egg and cheese croissant. That’s all they had out.

And uh, I just ate it and now I’m turning into the parking lot at work.

Gate for uh, oh my God.

Hahaha.

This place is so fucking huge. Like when I worked at Honda like Honda was pretty big, which, you know, I came from here to Honda. And uh, I was like, dang, this place is big, but it’s not as big as you know. The first car factory and God, this place is so huge.

I remember though, when I worked here last time,

Oh,

I worked in a different shop though. I worked in the weld Department.

And yeah, I did. I had it made. I was so like I can’t like God I couldn’t have imagined if I would have had any idea that the top out pay In 2025 would have been and it still is. It’s 36 Ankeny. What? Haha 36 dollars an hour. Yeah, like if I would have had any idea that would have ended up being the top out pay because it was twenty 5 dollars an hour when I worked here. Um, I was making $18.50 an hour, you know, I’m making like fucking 26 now. Um,

But uh, gosh, you know,

Of course, I never would have left. It was, uh, the place was still getting off the ground though, and I just, it was so far and like having to come back and, like, backtrack all the way down to get the kids and

5:03 AM
At the time it was offering more money. Honda was. Yeah and I mean I just like gosh but Talk about, I mean, that’s just 1 thing. I wished I would have never left. Yeah, I wish I would have never left. I can just go back and type that in and correct it, I don’t know.

But yeah, here I am at work. I am not the only person who gets to work 2 hours early. Haha

And it. I said, dang, it doesn’t take much to get hot this car. The heater gets so hot in here, but anyways, um, it’s a good thing.

But uh gosh, I am not. I am not going to the gym. But um, Yeah, last night I was poking around Facebook and, uh, I signed in from 1 of my fake accounts and I just had to I just had 2 for some reason because I’ve got like a half, a dozen fake accounts. You know, I don’t ever log into them or anything. Uh, but I just some reason I just had to look up Brittany and I did and I was like oh gosh uh she’s made a lot of her. Stuff like I guess you can limit your past posts and she did that and uh,

Oh, bless her heart. I mean I don’t know why I even say that but like

It was like, dang, but I’ve been having, you know, all those crazy dreams about her I was just like well

That’s another 1 of those things. It’s like, I can’t. I can’t believe that. I was that retarded about a girl, you know? About her. Yeah, like but that’s twin flames. I mean goddamn. That’s uh, I guess that’s what she is. I don’t know. It doesn’t feel as like

Crazy like energetically as intense as it used to. It’s just like, dang, that chick ruined my fucking life on purpose and I don’t know why. You know, it’s like I’m not a person to her, it’s weird.

I never had a lady, make me that nervous like ever, but I don’t know. I threw up all over myself one time. Oh my God. I don’t want to talk about that. I was just thinking I was like, dang, well, that’s something I did that’s I haven’t looked at her shit since August, since she blocked me again. I don’t know, I don’t know why she even blocked me in the first place, but then unblocked me. I don’t know if she was expecting me to like, I don’t know what she Was expecting me to do like like I’m not going to message her and I guess I really do just need to tell the whole story but I’m I’m not going to do that right now because it would Uh, it would go far beyond like 4 or 5 time stamps. I touched on it, like the beginning of it in my other blog last year. I kind of went off. And uh, It was 2 huge posts and that was just like the beginning.

And she’ll peck on my blog and all this shit but she won’t read those articles. I don’t know, maybe she’s afraid to maybe that’s that’s kind of the thing I guess, my point with like, people’s sense of like accountability, you know, like

You know, having like the fact that you did something really, really shitty like actively over and over to somebody who really didn’t deserve it.

At all, you know, like it’s like

I guess she has to live with her fucking self. I don’t know. You know?

But like, I don’t think she cares that much but then she might I’ll never, I’ll probably never know.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

I’m just trying to like, Collect my fucking bullshit enough to get out of this car because it’s cold. But I just don’t feel that good. I feel awful.

Hey, let’s take. Let’s take 1 of these allegros. Oh, legros. I said, let’s take an Allegra

I’ll just type that in.

Oh, delicious coffee. I got coffee and they had vanilla. Almond milk creamer. Um,

It’s not what they usually have is the oatmeal. Cookie is what I like the creamer. Uh, that’s actually I think a very popular

1. Yeah. God damn it. Oh, I just don’t I just don’t want to get out of the car right now.

It’s okay. You know, if it gets bad enough, I’ll go to the doctor but we’re supposed to have like a shit ton of overtime next week and that’s exciting.

That’s exciting to me.

I took 2 days off, I still have a whole bunch of PTO.

I’m not sad or anything. I’m just like Ugh.

But what else can I say? I don’t know. I’m gonna get the kids tomorrow. Uh, I’m going to

Sleep in and then get up and go get the kids.

And I don’t know what we’ll get into. There’s this place called Second and Charles did I talk about that?

In a post like yesterday or something. I don’t think I did. I made 2 posts yesterday. Uh, But my son likes, he’s all into action figures, and Shit now, And it’s really funny because I never got. To like buy things like he does when I was a kid, I never got.

Not when I was his age, you know, like I was like, I didn’t get Anything hardly like if you know, if I got anything like big, if it was anything, it was like For my birthday or Christmas. Like he gets big stuff all the time. You know, uh,

I remember when I worked here the first time and I got this gigantic bonus. Uh, I blew about $400 on him. Yeah, I did. And um, I think that same year it was 2022. Yeah it was when I was working at Honda. Um, I spent. Probably a hundred bucks on Kinder Eggs. Trying to find like a specific kind of toy that was in them and we finally found it and then he lost it. It was like God ugh and he got on this like kick where these dinosaur eggs Uh they hatch out of the Slime, it’s really funny. And I probably spent seventy dollars on those and we bought every single one. We could find in like 3 Walmarts just to have like all the different dinosaurs that they offered.

I have pictures of it. It’s really funny.

I hate people who. Sit in the parking lot with their goddamn lights on. It’s like are you just oblivious to the effect. You’re It’s like, okay, you know, like asshole. That’s what I’m talking about, though. People. They don’t think about that kind of stuff. There’s like a derp. Dirt, derp, dirt. I’m just fucking Sitting in the parking lot with my

Fucking super bright headlights, right? Behind somebody in their fucking car just shining it in their goddamn rearview mirrors. You know. And there have been a few times I’ve gotten out and been like, hey can you turn your lights off? Because you’re blinding the shit out of me and it sucks but I’m about to go in so it’s not you know, it’s not that big of a deal.

And, you know, most of the time they were cool about it, but there was a couple times uh, like they were like assholes, you know. And it’s like, well, you’re the asshole and yeah, like personal accountability.

But I like being nice and kind and polite. And it makes me happy to make other people happy. That’s why all my songs are fun. And you know, half retarded. I can’t You know, and I have made like some mean songs, and I’ve made some really sad songs, but there’s always this, you know, comical element to it.

Like the Brittany song, uh, it’s just 1 of the best songs I’ve ever written. About a lady. But the music is in a minor key and it’s sad. It’s like, there’s a sadness to it. And, uh, That’s a kind of like, you know, just looking at her stuff and she didn’t have a lot of stuff up anymore. Her Instagram still is though I was looking at it the other day. After I had that dream.

I was just like, dang, you know, I can’t believe I let this chick, I mean I didn’t let her, it just happened, but God.

And then, you know, she’s still out there and That’s probably why she wouldn’t look at me when I saw her in Guntersville. It’s like, yeah, here I am. Here’s the guy that you did a bunch of really fucked up mean shit, too. And drove him. So crazy. He had a nervous breakdown. I mean if you’ve ever had a nervous breakdown, they really suck. Yeah. I mean

Really bad nervous. Breakdowns suck, really bad. And I’m really like I’m hyper sensitive and uh predisposed to like crazy stuff anyways and I can’t help it. You know, I’m a sensitive artist and it doesn’t take

You know, it’s not like

I’m some rock or something, you know, Jesus.

It could have been a funny cute story if we would have ended up, together? But we didn’t! So,

Um

Well.

I feel like I’m just stalling. Yeah. It’s like just put your stuff I’ve got to have to take my like warm shirt off and put my jacket on.

And uh, I don’t know.

Going to have to go in. I’m going to have to go in the plant. Let’s go in the plant, let’s do it. Okay? And then I can sit there for

45 minutes and edit this and it’s going to be all right in the break room. Got to get up and get out before anybody else. Proceed. Anybody? I know. Yeah. Before I see Anybody I know.

Yay. Thank you. Please, at least it’s Friday.

Thank you, please!