MONDAY NIGHT

6:45 PM
Oh gosh, I just ate Fajita is again.

From a little Rosies. It’s really not that far away. I went out to Walmart.

And got. SpaghettiOs with meatballs.

For lunch. You know, for the rest of the week, it’s only a 4 day work week.

I guess I’m going to have to go to the doctor. I’ve just like I just feel run down real bad. Yeah, it’s

I’ve been fighting this crud for. Almost a month. And I, I get better and then it gets a little worse and it’s gotten better, but it’s like gosh, I need to Get. Get it fixed. Haha, unless I feel, uh, really great tomorrow or something, when I wake up, but I still need to do my chores.

I’ll probably do the bathroom here in a minute. After my food, Settles. It was a lot and I was really hungry.

At least this weekend. I didn’t spend every last cent, I had, like I did the last time I got the kids. Oh my gosh.

Oh, I’m almost too full to make a post. The kids. And I had a lot of fun.

Holy crap. I have to go back to work. Tomorrow

That Friday? I got really, really sick. I guess it was uh the second day of January. Yeah, I’ve been sick since then, like it just I don’t know, I haven’t recovered from that. I think it weakened my immune system and I just, I got So I guess it’s been like 3 weeks or something.

Almost 3 weeks, you know, I’ve been fighting this crud

I just had so much more I wanted to talk about, but, um,

I don’t know. Do I really want to talk about it?

I guess I was thinking earlier about just how weird and crazy human life is and like American culture, but not just like the right now, but

Over the, you know, last century or so.

Uh, really since photographs and

Media has existed to record. Things like, you know, video stuff. And TV and movies and everything, and

How it’s just blown up so much. Now on a streaming platforms and then you have Tik Tok and Facebook and Instagram reels.

Kind of makes me wonder where it’s all headed. Because, uh, I don’t know anything. Shit! I don’t outside of what I do?

Um, you know, for a living and the kids and then my music and stuff is like I don’t know what the hell’s going on. It’s kind of hard for me to weigh in on it, but You would think a lot of problems like social issues and stuff, would have been worked out by now it’s 2026 but nope.

It’s the same crap.

Over and over, and over all the time. And

It’s uh, just how it goes, I guess.

There’s a lot more people now.

But it’s just like, wow, like because I think about the physical form that humans have.

Um, It’s just

What a thing to possess.

You know, possess as in like you know you’re in it, your soul or Spirit or whatever. Or maybe all that is just a product of the processes of having a body you know. The mind is just a

Product of the brain and it’s Crap, processing center.

But I don’t think so. I think a lot of it though, like all the you’re in like a you get a lot of Bio feedback that’s processed that factors in too, I guess.

Um,

The state.

Rather words. What it’s pasta, what it’s processed, haha.

What it’s processed in, um,

Like, you know, you’re in like the human mode.

And uh, it has to be all immersive. I mean that’s part of the fun.

But a lot of stuff, you know, exists that people don’t always think about like languages and how uh, there’s so many but it’s like a different way to interpret reality that’s what. So, Always been so fascinating to me about languages and cultures and stuff.

It’s supposed to be really, really cold, and that’s another like fun thing that goes into the Human Experience, it’s called weather. And uh, the planet it is rotating apparently. Supposedly revolving around this thing called a star and it’s super, super, super hot. It’s so hot and but it’s like insanely far away. And, uh, but it gets so hot that it’s Even though it’s really far away it, it makes the planet warm

And part of the planet. Is tilted towards the sun more and that’s why we have seasons. There’s like, you know, it’s a season where it’s hot and it’s kind of in between hot and cold and then it’s cold and it’s in between cold and hot.

And then it’s hot again. Yeah. And there’s like, clouds and it sucks up all this stuff called uh, water. It’s made up of also and So is your body and pretty much everything? Any kind of life form on earth is made up of water.

Water and this stuff called carbon.

And it breathes stuff called oxygen. It needs it to go. And then you have plants that take in stuff called carbon dioxide, which is like carbon,

And 2 things of oxygen.

And that’s what plants use to make them. So, Make them so yep. It makes themselves Thank you, God. And uh, it’s the opposite of plants are a lot of the ways in a lot of ways opposite of animals. Because, uh, you know, like

All their Roots. It’s kind of like our guts, except they go into the ground and they’re all outside of their bodies and all our guts are on the inside of our bodies, where, you know, how we get nutrients and crap, but we still have to breathe the air, but we breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. And then trees, you know, Breathing, they use the carbon dioxide.

And,

To take the oxygen and push it back out and their vascular system, you know, and they’re hard and Woody, and we’re soft and fleshy.

Their leaves. Their branches and stuff are a lot like our lungs. But inside out, And that’s silly Planet. Uh, plants are, uh, static for the most part, or at least they move really slowly compared to animals. But animals, eat stuff and crap out. Seeds to make the plants grow in different places.

Over and over and over, and over, and insects pollinate them. So they get more variants in their, uh,

When they make more trees, it’s called reproduction. Yeah.

And some animals you know like worms you can chop them up into 5 different pieces and they’ll grow into 5 different worms.

And animals, some can regenerate limbs, but some of them can’t

Like salamanders, I think can regrow limbs And uh, crabs can But a person. A human being, I guess. I guess all animals are people technically. You know, if you If you really want to,

You can make friends with animals because they’re people too. You know.

Humans have the most ability to like, Take something and process it through their imaginations. Which is like, uh, this

Thing. That you can, uh, See. Backwards and forwards in this stuff called Time.

Hypothetical outcomes if you put these 2 together, this might happen if you put this together with that, that might happen. Remember what happened to Steve? But you know let’s try it out and see and then you can imagine like all kind of stuff. And uh, if you’re into art or music, you can bring that infinite Realm of the imagination into the

Into the physical. World, you know, some kind of fun deal

You can.

Imagine all this crazy like stuff and then put that on paper with paint. It’s like, well that just came out of my imagination. Like a big uh like an art or a piece of music. I’ll See a lady who will uh all be like wow she’s so beautiful. And

Make up a song about that and her ripping my soul to pieces because that’s Um, that’s all I’ve really ever known. And so um that came, you know with my imagination which is also influenced by the experiences I’ve had and the knowledge I’ve accumulated. Whatever medium, right? It’s in all this is just weird as shit though. It is and I was thinking about that. It’s like dang.

But not at all. Animals have so complex imaginations, you know. Their uh peripherals I guess. Like they’re, you know, they have uh

They are Geared a lot of times more towards survival. Depending on how social they are that makes a difference too. You know, they have keen senses of smell so they can root out enemies or, or food or something and

Ears. They can hear anything that moves or some kind of crap on their face. Whiskers. I guess so they can detect vibrations or something. And

Uh,

It’s just funny. Their sensory organs and we have them not as advanced but it’s all in our brains, the humans. I just think that’s just really funny. It’s like here’s this planet it’s just out in space nobody knows where it is really. I mean people like speculate you know they’re like yeah well it this happened and everything came from this big explosion at the beginning of time or some crap. That’s about the best answer Most people people have been able to come up with. Or it all came from God but where did God come from?

And uh,

You know, but the closest planet is just so unimaginably far, like I mean you can I guess imagine it but it’s like hard to

It’s like, you’re not going to get to it. With that body You know and then here’s some other crap that’s you know it’s just so everything’s just so far, super just ridiculously far away and so we’re basically like the only thing going on right here and now. You know, in and of itself.

And people are really mean to each other, and it sucks. And uh, Thoughtless and inconsiderate, and get on each other’s nerves. But I mean that’s just like the bad parts. I mean there’s worse Parts but you know, most of it is pretty good. Most people are fairly Decent. Otherwise this is like nothing would exist.

But some people do they equate intelligence with like You know, lying and cheating and like manipulating people, they think that makes them smart. And it doesn’t it just makes some pieces of crap but they’re so full of Their Own bullshit. Because I guess they’ve used that to like acquire, I guess, the third chakra, you know? Yeah. That’s like the mode of uh,

It’s an empty, you know, really

Thing in the end but it’s like, yeah. You you have the most stuff, you’ve got all the money and all the crap, and you sure did fuck a lot of people over to get it and good for you. You know, that doesn’t make you smart that makes you an asshole.

And uh, You know. And people who are too Nice? The competitive people like that, think they’re retarded, but it’s not true. It’s just we’re not motivated by the same things. I would rather like You know, and I I’m not perfect, you know, I get irritated at people too. But,

I don’t cheat or steal or lie about things. To get what I want. I mean, why do you even want something, you have to lie and cheat and whatever about to get, like, why would

7:03 PM
Why would you want that? You know, why would you want to get it like that? Anyways, like Jesus.

What, um, It’s just remarkable. And I think about all this because my life is just

So different. It used to be just so normal. I used to have the most normal Like it’s a running joke in my social media, it’s like the most normal person or that, you know, but that’s what’s so funny is it’s not normal. It’s like stable right now. And stuff. But

Most probably, uh, it’s been

I don’t know, it’s just giving me this kind of like

I see more of it from the outside. And it’s just remarkable from, I guess, from a objective, like scientific point of view, you know, if you want to

Call it that I guess it’s like dang what a, what a thing. Just The Human Experience planet Earth. You know, and then there’s all this stuff that’s happened before that’s like time has. You know, what’s the Daniel Johnston song? Uh,

I can’t remember the name of the damn song. Is it my yoke is heavy which 1 is is this? Uh the Earth is an old canvas painted over many times. Yeah, I like that. It’s like you know humans aren’t even the first civilization to come up to this level and Uh, all kind of crazy stuff.

And, you know, they find dinosaur fossils of other animals and they’ve been in the ground for a long time because their bones are like rocks now.

And that takes a millions of years.

But they’re all dead and I try to especially when I was a kid, I was so fascinated. Just obsessively fascinated with dinosaurs and space travel.

And uh Legos and airplanes, of course, because I love, you know, stuff like that. Flying things. Helicopters too.

But uh,

Just imagine like meeting

Meeting a dang like stegosaurus, you know, or a fucking Argentinosaurus. Yeah, just like wow, how huge were those things? And then like meeting a fucking T-rex or an Allosaurus and just shiting your fucking pants. Cuz those things could. Like, how could you even you’d need a tank? You know, to like even not die from like you could shoot it, you could shoot that thing a hundred times and it would just eat you.

I guess unless you shot it all up in like all its head off or something or I guess you could still Probably take it down some well-placed shots but Jesus Christ, man. They’re they were so big and fast and ferocious. And it was just, you know, They could just flip you up in the air and catch you and just Chomp Chomp. And that was it.

It’s like watching my chickens. When I had chickens, they used to catch mice. Anything bugs or anything. And they would like, Stab it with their beak and throw it up in the air and play with it, and they would like fight over it. And then, you know, 1 of them would uh, end up just swallowing the fucking thing and that was it. It’s a

And the scale I guess from a mouse to a, you know, a chicken is about the same as a allosaurus would be to us. So it’s like dang and I used just to imagine Uh,

Based on that. Yeah, speaking of imaginations based on watching my chickens eat mice. And Grasshoppers. And

Frogs. They they ate lots of frogs.

And other birds, it was crazy. But uh, then I would imagine like You know, a dinosaur doing that to people and that would probably look similar.

Because those animals, the frogs and the mice, and the other birds that didn’t stand a chance. It was like, dang, You know.

But then the chickens didn’t stand a chance against a dog.

So, you know, I mean, gosh. I miss having chickens.

And dogs. I miss having pets.

And I miss my kids. Even though that I spent all weekend with them, and we have so much fun it just makes them, it makes me miss them even more. Like, when I take them back it’s like, man.

It’s all I care about. Makes me really sad. And I don’t know where like I could go to be closer to the kids like as far as like having a job. And making more money. Like I’m not going to find a job making any more money than I’m making right now.

That would be closer to the kids unless, you know, Honda but I can’t ever go back to Honda and that was 1 of the things that made. What? Brittany did. So fucking horrible. It’s like, do you just not She didn’t, I just don’t really think she realized the full extent of what she was doing.

To me, you know, like cuz nobody is as weird and crazy as I am.

It was really bad though. It’s like, it didn’t have to be like that.

But that was the only that’s what made that thing. So, fucking crappy that whole thing is because That place was like, perfect for what I wanted to do. And what all that I wanted to do, I just wanted to have some land, I wanted to get my credit and all that stuff, straight out straightened out. Yeah, and straightened. I did, but it didn’t pick it up like that. Uh,

You know, it get some land and 1 of those like

Buildings that people fix up to Live in or like a tiny house or something.

And uh, just live there with like, you know, some like, you know, somewhere 20 30 minutes from the kids.

And have a bunch of crazy pets again, and that was it. That’s all I cared about. So, and then, uh, all that shit happened with Brittany and I’ll never be able to go back to Honda and I don’t know what their top out pay is but it’s probably comparable to what I’m making. Now where I’m at, you know, I’m sure. They have to to stay competitive.

But this other guy I worked with he left, uh, A little bit after I did and went to Honda, I guess it will like a year. A year or so after. I left. And went to Honda probably because I had talked all about it and was like, yeah. Uh, but this kind of the same thing happened to him. It was funny. I was like, so you got the old Honda treatment, huh? Hahaha And we had a big laugh about that and I had to tell him the story about Brittany and he he was on a different end of that though. He was like,

Uh he he ran a foul of like a co-worker like a trainer person. He was going to be another robot programmer. And which is something he did very well. That’s what he did. Uh, In our department, we both worked in the body. Weld department but it was like yeah, we never both of us expressed extreme regret at leaving but I had a you know it wasn’t just about the money. It was about that Honda was closer to the kids.

But whatever.

This is turning into a really long post.

Yeah.

Starting to feel like less bloated from eating all that food. I need to I need to clean the bathroom up and get a shower.

I need to do the rest of my chores and I will feel. Better. And then it’s bedtime because I have to get up at like 3. And get ready for work. So Yep.

Well, what else can I say?

I just sometimes it just hits me. How crazy and weird. All that stuff that I just mentioned every single thing is just like, wow, that’s being a human. It sure is. You know, and having parents, and being a parent. You know, a lot of parents, forget what it’s like to be a kid and a lot of kids even when they get older, don’t realize what it’s like to be a parent. And, uh, I mean, like even when you’re in your like,

In their 20s people in their 20s and 30s if they don’t ever have kids then you don’t, you’ll never understand your parents. Of course some people have really crappy parents. It’s so weird the variance That exists.

For like each individual and it’s all entangled for like ever and ever. There’s so many people. There always has been a whole bunch, but like now there’s just billions and billions and billions and everybody’s just All wrapped up in like it’s all just connected and crisscrossed and

It’s kind of even more remarkable, how complex it is. But then like fundamentally, you know, it’s Similar, I guess it’s not all the same but You know, people have a lot in common too basically across the map. I mean, you both, both? Hahaha I mean all You have to eat and breathe. Oxygen and drink water. And you have to come from parents.

You got to have a mom and a dad. You know. It’s just crazy. I think about

And you can do big crazy things with your life, but you don’t have to. You can just

Stay to yourself and never affect anything, at least minimally. And You know, you don’t have to do shit as long as you. Can do something and make money or some people inherit money, some people win the lottery.

It’s Just everybody’s so different, not everybody. Is that complicated? And some people are extremely complicated.

And people are all motivated by entirely different things. And you can get like a lot of people. That’s what’s so funny about families. Is they all share like the same like basic code. Like DNA. Right? But they can be so goddamn crazy different and sometimes that causes irreconcilable conflict, And sometimes it causes a lot of cool fun and Adventures and then there’s people break off into little groups. You know, this group of people, they all hit it off and get along and like the same stuff, more or less. And then there’s another group and like social, uh,

Stratification, and it just gets so complicated, you know, People.

Been like the aristocracy who have been like getting power and wealth their whole lives for generations and

Centuries of that, you know, some families can trace their fucking wealth back to the Roman eras. And Beyond, actually,

And then, you know, there’s Governments and the millitary. The merchant class and

And the peasants.

And then there’s the people worse off than that and there’s just so much crazy stuff. It’s like, wow.

But sometimes it does. It just all hits me. It’s like yeah and here I am. Just I’ve got I’m just in it to

I guess, because Of somebody died in the hotel that we were staying in Yesterday and I didn’t really think to get pictures of stuff, but uh, the corner was there and Like an ambulance and 5 police cars and it made me wonder what happened. And the lady asked the lady at the front desk. After every everything, you know, left all the Officials and she said she couldn’t talk about it. And I’m just kind of hoping, maybe it’ll be on the news so I can

I’ll figure out at least what went on. Did somebody commit suicide? Somebody, shoot somebody else or did somebody just die?

7:16 PM
I don’t know.

But um,

All that stuff. Kind of got me thinking even more.

And then doing the same thing over and over and over at work, you know, my mind just detaches and it’s like, hey,

Let’s float around and think up stuff and wonder about everything again.

Oh, I’ve got to go get my laptop out of the car.

Supposed to get so cold.

But also have video games on it.

And, I’ve been playing those and uploading reels.

But um, God, I’m so full. It’s like, I’m not like dying. Like, you know how, when you first eat a whole bunch, it’s just like, oh my God, I’m going to die. And then it uh, it kind of levels off and it’s not you don’t feel that way anymore, but you’re super fucking lazy. That’s where I’m at right now.

Because I don’t want to get up.

I didn’t even eat my chips.

I can’t, I’m too full. Hahaha.

Hahaha. Thank you. Please.