TUESDAY MORNING

5:20 AM

Hey yeah, let’s uh let’s make a different post. Let’s not go off.

Uh, the deep end.

Hahaha. It’s Tuesday, it’s back to work. I’m in the parking, lot of work.

4 day, work week. It’s not going to be that bad. It’s been a nice. You know, I had a I had 2 days off in the middle of the week last week. I had a 3-day weekend, I spent it all with the kids. It was so much fun. But we always get really tired. I don’t know like next time I get them, I’m not really sure. We’re going to go do something completely new. I think Some new place to explore some new town.

But like, I don’t know. My daughter is, uh, She’s The Adventurous type and my son, he just doesn’t care. He, he just wanted his, uh, vetta

Vetta.

VA.

Vetta. It’s the

Vetta.

The.

Jetta.

Vegeta.

Thanks. Jesus, was that so hard?

Uh, Dragon Ball Z. Isn’t that what that is? Yeah, that’s like all he cared about and we ended up going to a rock Mart to get that particular action figure for him.

And uh, it was funny. Yeah. Because that’s really all he gave a shit about. Haha

On another

Fucking retarded ass stupid note. There’s this lady who works at the RaceTrac gas station, who sucks so bad.

She just sucked. She’s So Mean, but she makes all the food. And she just, I don’t know what is wrong with her. Exactly 1 day. I was like, you know, in a great mood. I was like, good morning! You know. All chipper. And she was like, hey, good morning. And she said asshole, she’s like good morning asshole. But she said asshole, like, Uh, really like subtly?

Yeah, it was uh, I was like really okay? You know, and she had all the fucking Biscuits and all the stuff made, but they were just sitting on this cart. They weren’t she didn’t, she hadn’t put them out. And uh, it was like after 5 a.m., you know, usually they have all that shit out at 4:30. And she just, you know, she doesn’t care and it was really she’s just a really mean stupid person. And that’s what I had to deal with this morning because I wanted breakfast. And that’s a big reason why I’m still in my car.

Is because, uh, well I wanted to make a post but I am just, I don’t know. I have this aversion to the gym right now. It’s uh, like I don’t really want to go in.

Right now, I don’t know. I don’t want to do the gym. What the hell’s wrong with me? Well part of it is the gym girl. Yeah, she freaks me out but I’ve noticed she has a wedding ring on so maybe it’s not that big of a deal that doesn’t always matter because there was this chick at Honda who worked around the gym. It it was different though but she like oh my gosh that was that got weird too.

But she was married, otherwise I would have been more like hey girl you know, But gosh, that stuff scares me so bad.

Because I used to be married. And uh, I don’t know, like Nothing I was or anything to the best of my abilities was good enough. And I just kind of think that’s how I don’t want to talk about. I’m just I was just thinking like God will I ever get married again? And I just can’t I just don’t trust people and it’s weird because they do they cheat on each other all the fucking time and that’s not something I ever did or was capable of doing. And it’s like it’s scary to me because that’s you know, people do that. A lot and it’s weird and it’s gross.

It is, it’s like 20 degrees Fahrenheit. Haha. Uh, this coming weekend, apparently, we’re supposed to get a bunch of crazy winter weather, and I guess I need to get it like food and stuff.

Get. Um I have like my propane heater. And lots of cans of propane. I have like

Maybe 10 cans of propane, which is a lot.

And I have, uh,

I need to get. Food.

In case we lose power.

Not that it matters, I don’t know. I’m 1 of those kind of people who can just live, like I don’t got to have Comforts and conveniences and shit. Like a lot of people do.

Like people have it so easy. Um, it’s so crazy. It’s like gosh. People have it so easy.

Compared to like a hundred years ago. Oh, yeah. They do. Oh my God.

Seems like I had some more crazy shit I wanted to talk about. I don’t know. But

You know this week ought to go by pretty fast. It’s only 4 days and this weekend, I’m just going to rest.

Oh gosh, I do though, I guess I feel like I ought to just go in go on in the plant. They don’t put the biscuits and stuff out, though. Like um, For uh, From the cafeteria until like almost 6:00 a.m.

And it’s so cold though gosh I know I’m just letting it get hot in my car.

Oh my gosh. Oh so hot and um then I’m just going to walk in The plant, but I don’t want to like go back to the other once I get to my break room and stuff, it’s closer to go to the, uh, the big cafeteria. The nice cafeteria. Yeah. Um, but it’s cold, and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to walk like all the way to the courtyard and all the crazy stuff.

Even though they have a fruit, And Yogurt Bar and it is really good. And they have like the better quality breakfast food.

You can’t beat the cafeterias here for like a work place. This is like the best cafeteria ever. That was the 1 thing about. Honda that bummed me out a little bit was how awful the cafeterias were

Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Don’t have a flashback, don’t have another flashback, oh my God, haha but for some reason that’s that’s what it was. Um, that ex-girlfriend that lives up here has been in my brains like all day yesterday. And I don’t know why I had a dream about her last night and I can’t remember it. I just remember her being in it and I was like, dang, you know why?

You know, there she was the best 1 but it’s you know, it was the post divorce phase. But she was, I mean, she was a, she’s a great person. I don’t know what else to say, like it just it was a weird time. I wish it could have worked out, I do.

I only wanted to love 1, woman forever, and

She sure was a sweet little lady. It just there’s a lot of other things to, um,

To romantic relationships than that, and that was just, it was just too much at the time, you know, I lived an hour and a half away.

I didn’t have a stable source of income even though I worked a lot, you know, it was house remodeling. And by that, I mean sometimes we might not work for 2 weeks, you know, we’d work a month. Straight 7 days a week but uh then not work for 2 weeks.

And, you know, it

Sometimes it got hard, uh,

Yeah, that was I struggled really hard and I was really lucky in 2024 the last round of house remodeling that I did that. My boss had so much going on at the time, like he had that big Pavilion and a bunch of other stuff, but it started to slow back down. And about the time. You know, I got that job at Target. So but gosh, like 2019, though? Like when I dated her, that whole year was probably 1 of the most. Crazy. Uh, yet. I don’t want to call it Carefree, it wasn’t Carefree at all, uh, but I had a lot of like Freedom, though, in like weird ways, it was like, Oh, it was, so weird. 2019 was such a crazy weird fucking year but you know, I always every chance I got I did stuff with the kids.

And things got a lot better for me in 2020.

Until my supervisor started. Stalking me, and messaging me outside of work. She drove me really crazy too. She was like

Oh, it wasn’t anything compared to what happened with Brittany but it was still pretty bad. Yeah, I don’t know. But uh, My ex-girlfriend, you know, number 4. She Was uh, I don’t know why she gets into my brains. The best I can figure is uh, I’m friends with this chick and at first, like I was like, well, hey girl, you know, and got kind of flirty with her but, uh, Like they’re friends on Facebook. So I don’t know if she’s like if she sees that and gets jealous or something. But she’s been with this dude for like 5 years and uh, I don’t know. Like I’m not going to date that chick. The one I’m friends with you know, because like she’s really, she’s cool and she’s sweet, but she deletes her posts.

Um,

Which freaks me out? She’ll post a bunch of stuff like pictures and shit and then she’ll take them back down and like she’ll leave them up for like 2 or 3 hours and take them down and she took her profile picture down. And she does that, sometimes she makes all her posts like she limits her past posts, and then she’ll bring them back. And she uh, either deactivated or deleted her Tik Tok and stuff like that. To me, are huge. Red flags. Yeah. Because, uh, I’ve had to deal with that. That’s kind of stuff, Stephanie did. Yeah. Hannah too and holy shit, you know? But I was just like, well, I’m not, you know, I, you know, got kind of flirty with her there at first, until I realized that, uh, Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You know, technically I’m not allowed to date. So you know.

That guy has a cool hat. Walking past my car

Man, I really just don’t want to get out of the car right now. I have about 200 bucks.

Uh, not including what I can get off, chime in a few days. So I’m, I’m pretty good on money right now. I actually might could get the kids

For supper or something like this weekend. Yeah. I don’t know.

Gosh, I just miss my kids. I’ll never get used to that, I’ll never get used to. Like I’ll never get used to it. Yeah, I don’t know. Well, I’m not really talking about anything new. I just I don’t know. It’s just crazy about My ex girlfriend because she never gets into my brains until last month. And uh like I would have dreams about her though. About. Gosh for years about once a month or two I would have a crazy dream about her. And uh, I don’t know. I wish it could have been different. I really do. I wish she could have been the 1, you know. I really like, Gosh. That was kind of. I was so fucking crazy about her. I was, I was like, That’s probably the most smitten I’ve ever been with a lady. It was, yeah, it totally was. Until you know, until reality hit me. Yeah. But it took a couple months.

Hahaha. Hahaha, but I’m just going to focus on my music.

5:36 AM
To do a lot of crap yesterday. I was so tired. Uh, I wear myself out doing stuff with the kids and they’re so all over the map and opposite of each other like my daughter will be just like she’ll stay up all night and sleep all day and my son will stay up but he gets up early too and then it’s like hey I want to do this and then my daughter’s like I want to do this and my son’s like I want to do this and they pull me in like different directions all the time and it drives me nuts, but I love them and I think it’s really great that both of them are so strong willed and know what they want. Even if it is, uh, different From each other but I don’t spend enough. Like, you know, 10% of the time that I wish I could spend with my kids. I don’t get to Oh my gosh, every other weekend, you know. I’m all the way up here in Huntsville. I’m not complaining. It’s just I miss my kids.

And I do wish I had.

A special lady to love and pet.

And mash and hold.

And take places and make things for and get stuff for And make up songs about like, go out with and pet her, you know, bring her things and pet her head.

With all the love in the universe!

I wonder if I’ll ever have that again. Maybe I just need to make up a song about it. Yeah. Haha. Hahaha. Haha.

Oh, oh.

Anyways, now I’m just rambling around like a crazy person. Which is all I pretty much ever do anyhow Geez. Oh my goodness.

Yay, thank you.

Please.