SATURDAY MORNING

2:37 AM
Well, here I am. I’m awake. It’s Saturday morning.

I woke up. About.

I guess about an hour and a half ago or something.

Maybe 2 hours ago.

I’ve just been like, spaced out thinking.

I’m just laying here. What do I want to do? Well, my son’s got a basket ball game and Uh, in about 5 hours. But it might get cancelled.

I was looking at the radar.

And there are a whole bunch of stuff.

Coming in but I don’t know that I want To leave.

But I do.

Well, I remember

Gosh, I guess it was uh, After Christmas. In 2022.

And the kids and I got stranded up here in Huntsville all of a sudden, it just started snowing and it Everything iced over, it was insane.

That we ended up having to stay in a hotel room. Up here.

3:13 AM
Well, anyways, I just spaced out for a long time. My Aunt Paula died. Yesterday I think.

Yeah. Oh gosh. That was my mom’s. Sister, I only have 2.

Uh, I have my Uncle Joe and my Aunt Barbara are the only 2 left. So like, aunts and uncles Well, on my mom’s side of the family

Yeah.

I still got all of them on my dad’s side.

But they’re all in their 70s now and it’s weird.

But shit, I’m in my 40s. Is it? Yeah. Well, I think I have an uncle.

He’s uh,

About to turn 66. So yeah. I guess. That’s my dad’s, youngest brother. But it’s crazy. I think my Aunt Paula was uh, 76

Yep. My mom was

73. No, probably got if I don’t uh die. In the next 5 to something years.

I’ll probably live to my 70s, too. I don’t really want to though. I don’t want to be old. I don’t know what I want to do.

1 time, my kids and I were hanging around at a restaurant. I think it was IHOP And they were talking about how, you know, I better live to be 90. And I thought, you know,

I hope I don’t disappoint them. I’m just lucky, I probably I’m probably not going to live that far into my 50s

Okay, so I don’t know. Life is such a weird thing, it’s just been hitting me a lot lately.

And it’s not life so much, it’s just this whole like human existence. It’s so ridiculous sometimes

People are so fucking just Ridiculous, I don’t know another word to to call it.

I have my moments too, you know.

I’m tired and I really don’t want to get up and do anything, but I need to My son has a game, and I don’t know though, because the weather It’s supposed to start snowing soon.

But I want, I don’t want to leave too early because I want to get breakfast somewhere. I want to get Hardee’s and I need to go to Walmart.

And I need to go over my set.

But I’m, I’m really not sure what I want to do. Because I might just not even go anywhere, it’s supposed to be that bad, at least, like,

I don’t know, I don’t know what I want to do today. Part of me wants to go back to sleep, but that’s kind of what I’ve been trying to do for the last.

Couple of hours on and off and I’m just too wound up.

I’ve been thinking about the gym girl. Yeah.

Makes me feel bad. I just I don’t know.

I feel bad that they probably. Think I’m I don’t really know how to.

I feel like I’ve made a lot of ladies sad in the last few years.

Yep.

And I can’t help it. I’m sorry

Well, I don’t know. I don’t know what else to say. I’m going to, I’m going to need. I need to get a shower. And then I’m going to go from there. Yep.

I have a, I have not a shower since Wednesday night.

So um yeah whatever. Thank you, please.