TUESDAY AFTERNOON

4:12 PM
Well gosh. Yeah, I’m just driving to work now.

I don’t know what gets into me, like, what gets into my brains

Why some things matter? Yeah.

Like, that shouldn’t. Oh my goodness, What? 

I don’t know, I just, just think about Brittany and I looked at her thing earlier and it was like, you know, I guess she had Got back on line. It said she hadn’t been active in like 4 hours and so, I was like, well, that’s good. I guess, that means she’s not dead. But then it’s like, you know,

I was looking at the, uh, cuz she’s always at the top of my suggested, people on Facebook Messenger, just at the very top. Like always and that probably says something, right? But then like on the list of the suggested, people 2 of the people that are that are on that list. Are passed away, you know? And it’s like, What is this shit even mean?

I think, you know, like people talk about, you know, when

When whoever pops up on the people, you may know. Like it’s because they’re stalking you and All this stuff and all you know, just all kind of dumb shit. But uh, I don’t know, I haven’t ever really read like an official. Thing about that, but I know.

That several people from work. I mean like at least a dozen ladies.

Yeah. Uh that I had no idea who the hell they were.

Uh, pop up on the people. I may know all the time. Yeah, all the time, huh?

This app has been adding words. To stuff. I say, I don’t know why.

I’ll say something and then it’ll just put in a word or 2 that I didn’t say and it looks it’s like, it changes.

The tone or sometimes, even the whole thing I’m trying to say it, like ruins it. Yeah.

That happened a lot with my last post. I had to edit the fucking hell out of the last post.

And the 1, uh, I made coming to work yesterday. But I really do need to stop at Walmart. And get SpaghettiOs and meat sticks? And crackers and stuff, I don’t know.

I was thinking like because I really do wish I had a girlfriend and I’m thinking about the chicks, there’s been a couple of them that if I would have not freaked out.

Uh, and ran away, they would probably had been my girlfriend and 1 of them. Uh, I actually saw her at Walmart, 1 day

Oh this, this chick, I called engineer girl and she’s not there anymore. She was an intern and Uh, last I heard she got a job At Lockheed Martin. Yeah, and uh, I think I think it was that

It was 1 of those places up here, there’s a bunch of like, you know, places like that up here.

And uh, That’s what I heard. But she was so beautiful and I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to her and she would look at me a lot too. And

Yeah, I mean and then another 1 is helmet girl. Yeah, and I saw her this morning. I was trying to actually avoid seeing her. Haha I went some weird way out, we got off really early and I went to the admin building

Uh, Yeah, and I was, uh, I was going into the nice cafeteria because usually they have different shit. You know, for food like better stuff. They didn’t have anything out though. It was like, people’s been picking through everything a lot, but, uh, I saw her the first time I’ve seen her in, like, 2 weeks.

Um, I think, actually, the last time I saw her was, uh, on day shift, Yeah, so I guess it’s been almost 3 weeks now.

But it just made me feel sad kind of because it’s like, you know, I really You can go back and read several posts. From the Summer where I talk about, helmet girl. Yeah, and then, um, I think. November was it or December when I actually had a conversation with her and it might have been a little earlier than that and I really don’t remember. Like October November and December all ran together for me, pretty much. So, 1 of those months, haha I actually like had a conversation with her. Um, and it was weird.

Yeah, but it made me sad because it’s like, you know? Yeah, I really really liked helmet girl.

I did though. I don’t know, I just feel like she hates me and then the gym girls is the other 1. And I’m still afraid of her. Haha Yeah, I talked about that. I think last week was it last Thursday? I went into the gym. I kind of tried to sneak so you know, I wouldn’t see her and She saw me like sneaking and I peeked my head around the corner and Like,

She saw me and I saw her and I jumped and ran away. Yeah, that, that happened. You know? I just feel like she hates me, too. I wish I could just talk to her, though!

1 of those 3 would have probably you know, any 1 of those 3 would have been like a great They would have been great. Yeah. They seem like, really sweet.

Wonderful ladies. Yep.

But I never get out either. And,

Now, I’m hitting the traffic, I don’t know if will have time to go to fucking Walmart. I might just do that tomorrow.

Oh, man. Yeah.

Get up a little earlier. Like if I was going to go to Walmart and leaving the house at 4:00 I probably should leave at like 3.

Yeah, for real because traffic is so bad. It I mean I can leave the house. At 4:00 and it’s you know typically a 30 minute drive. I might not get to work till almost 5:00 in the afternoons, sometimes it might. Sometimes it takes me an hour to get to work because depending on traffic. Yeah.

Oh, I need to get over. But I do. I really really, really really do wish I had a girlfriend and

Uh, I’m getting better. I really am. Haha I think?

And there’s, you know, there’s a few more chicks from work, too. That I could talk to, uh, there’s this 1 who pops up on my Instagram all the time. And I don’t know though if She’s single or not. She’s Uh,

Really, really pretty. I don’t know. I’m stupid though. Talking about this shit and I think about that, too. It’s like, you know, anybody from work can read this blog You know? And then there’s the chick. I tried to talk to last week. Was that last week or the week before? I don’t remember. I didn’t, I don’t think she was there yesterday, though. Yeah.

Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to go to uh Walmart I think I’m just going to get some food. From uh, the RaceTrac. Yeah, or something.

But yeah, I don’t think I’m going to try to ever talk to that chick uh again like she’s going to have to like it’s I don’t think it even matters. I think. That I’ve been single for so long that I’m retarded. Yeah. I am and, uh, I wish that I talked, That I would talk about different things. I wish different things were in my brain and this like, like my last post talking about Brittany like that is so stupid. It really is.

Like really stupid. You know. Nobody else would give a fuck about her. Like I do, I don’t know why I do either because she was fucking that was like, The most ridiculous meanest shit. A woman ever did to me. Yeah, yeah, it was and I cried about her almost as much as I cried over my ex-wife. It was really bad. And she is just. The most plain ass white bread fucking, you know, she looks crazy. I mean I’ve said that I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m still talking about it. Like I hope she has a great life. You know, I don’t know. She’s obviously, though. She’s crazy as hell. Not in fun ways either. Anybody who blocks you, and unblocks you. And Fucking, you know I mean she’s just 1 of those kind of people. She’s like a 1 of those perpetually toxic. Fucking people. And she’s got to have that or

Like, it’s boring.

Yeah. That’s uh that’s what my last girlfriend was like.

Stephanie. Yeah she was she just oh my gosh she would get so bored. And you could tell that the guy she’s with now she probably gets bored as shit. With him.

She was really. It was weird. I don’t know why I’m talking about any of this though. Uh,

Because my life is kind of boring. On purpose!

Kind of, I mean, it’s not I’m not really that interesting right now.

I haven’t done anything with music. You know, I got the same old stuff. I thought I was going to have a band there for a minute with Peter but I think Peter is a lot more, like, Eric, Than I realized?

I don’t know, I don’t really know what to say, but like him, trying to give me that fucking guitar was almost insulting. It was like. And and the way he was he tried to like approach it. Was like, I’m, you know, he was like Helping me out or some shit. He’s like, I just want to get you going with your Open Mic stuff. It’s like, dude, I’ve got 3 guitars already. Like I don’t need some Piece of crap. That was damaged when you got it and you know I mean why do you want to give me a fucked up guitar? Anyways I don’t care if it is acoustic electric you know.

And it’s a Gretch. Like I don’t care, you know.

I remember though, like a month, couple of months ago, he was all just yeah, band band, band band. We’ve got a band. He had even found us a drummer, you know, he he’s like Oh I found a drummer. I found us a drummer and then like nothing. You know, nothing at all, and Eric’s like that. I’ll never forget like, you know, the last time I tried to get him out. To an open mic night, we were going to go play an open mic night and Like he was like yeah just like holler at me and come over here and help me load up. And we’ll go and it came time to go over there and I messaged him and I messaged him and I called him and messaged him and nothing for like an hour. And I’m like, okay so I messaged his wife His ex-wife now and she’s like oh he’s asleep. He was never going to go out and do anything. He was just bullshitting You know, like, He’s never going to do anything.

And of course, you know, this is also like a testament to them. Uh, the um, I posted 1 day that I wish I had a Band like, I wish I could start another band and she angry reacting to that post. This was last year I think. And so I end up. I just took it down. You know, like that’s how much sense. All that makes any of that fucking makes. So, I mean, you know,

But like that’s been Eric for the last 7 or 8 years. You can’t get him out. To do anything and he’s 1 of those kind of people that won’t tell, you no. He’ll just fucking act like a shit and let you figure it out and I think Peter is the same way. Yeah. And I hate people who can’t say no. Or are full of  shit.

4:27 PM
I mean it’s just like no I’m not really, you know, or or you know they they like it’s some weird psychological thing. I guess this is better though. Than talking about chicks. Huh? Haha. Yeah, I don’t know. But yeah people who can’t say no like if I don’t want to do something or if I don’t think I really want to do something or maybe or I’ll just have to see. I’m going to communicate the No.

I’m not going to be like, oh yeah, I’m all on board, I’m all there dude. I’m like 100%. 200%, you know like fucking yeah buddy you can count on me and then just flake, the fuck out over a couple of months and That be it, you know.

Yeah.

But I need to go to the gym and I’m afraid again because it’s Tuesday. I think they were having the classes on Tuesdays and Thursday nights. I know on Thursday nights, she’s going to be there later. So uh, I wish I could just talk to her.

God is so stupid. I know I was just thinking how awesome I felt after I left the gym yesterday.

Wait no, that was this morning. That’s night shift. That’s what night shift. Does to my brain.

But gosh.

Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe I should have went to Walmart because now I’m like,

I’m getting to work. At almost 4:30. So

I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll get up and get around earlier tomorrow.

Uh, I like being early for things. I don’t like being late.

We’re supposed to work Saturday too And that’s, uh,

That’s going to be fun. I need the money. So, it’s great actually. It’s just, I’m only going to have 1 day off.

But hey, whatever. Right?

Haha. Yeah.

Yeah, I said I said, yay. Thank you.

Thank you, please.