5:23 PM
Well, I wasn’t going to make a post but I decided, why not?
I’m in the parking, lot of work. I got here. When I normally get here, which is just around 5, I’ve been parking down at this other weird place, but I didn’t feel like parking over there today. I got a lot of weird looks And I don’t know why it’s like I work here too. Y’all
Um, I thought about parking on the other side and the other like in another weird place.
But I decided just to park where I normally do because it’s supposed to be really cold in the morning.
And I don’t feel like walking in the cold. Like I did, I guess it was Yesterday morning wasn’t a, yeah. Wasn’t it? Yeah. Um,
That’s such a long walk. I wish I should take a picture of that for the perspective so you can be like, wow. Yeah, and do the Google Maps. That’s what I did. 1 time, uh, when I worked here, the first time I worked here and I measured the distance. From um where I was at in my they called it the shuttle room.
To the cafeteria, was half a mile. Yeah, that’s a crazy ass fucking walk. It sure was
I went to the cafeteria once a week.
But in other news, my friend, Peter
Uh left that guitar at my house. That guitar has been trying was trying to give me and it kind of it was, it was annoying. Yeah, it was kind of annoying. And I was like, you know, because I didn’t really need it. I don’t really need another guitar and the way he talked it was just this piece of shit. It’s a Gretch.
Yeah, and I opened it up and I played it for a little bit and It’s the nasus guitar I’ve ever had. It’s the nicest guitar I’ve ever fucking had.
Nasus guitar, what the fuck? And um, Uh, I haven’t have time to really mess with it. He was talking about what a piece of shit. It was. Hold on, I’m going to look that. Look it up. I can’t remember exactly what it was.
It was a Gretch acoustic, though. I’ll probably know it if I see it.
That’s not it, is it? I don’t know. It’s a, at least a 6 or $700 guitar. Hello. Well, anyways, This fucking, yeah. Okay.
This phone and this app. And everything.
So I have like 7 dollars. I think I have enough gas to get home and get back to work tomorrow. But you know, I thought about pawning that dang guitar.
Yeah, just like getting it out, Wednesday. Wednesday or Friday or something. You know I don’t have to work Friday thank God I put in PTO that’s the last absolute last.
PTO day. I’m taking for a while. I say that though I’ve just been
I have not had a good couple of weeks last week about did me in. And it’s so stupid. You know I say like I’m not going to talk about her anymore but it’s like it. It’s like, could she stop like fucking me up? Like, what does she expect me to do? And I’m, I’m still like, I’m just like, you know, It’s so stupid.
It’s just the stupidest fucking thing. And how mean she was to me and like what would the relationship be like It would probably be awesome. Because I would mash all that bullshit right out of her with more love than she has ever known. I just never liked anybody.
As much as I liked her, and she knows that. But it’s like she uses it to torture me. Like she would rather fuck with my head and drive me crazy than have anything real and that’s The problem. Because if she really wanted me as a person, we would be together, right? Am I wrong?
And it affects lots of things. I have ran from a lot of really sweet ladies because of her because I was like well you know, she’s going to come back and fuck my brains up. And I’m going to end up breaking their heart for her or something, you know. It it sucks like I said, 3 women only 3 women have ever had that effect on me. You know, I married 1 and I almost married the other 1 and then Brittany is the other 1. And that’s it, 3 women. That have ever had that kind of effect on me.
Well, I kind of The gym girl kind of does. Yeah, I don’t know. Haha except I haven’t spent 4 hours crying so hard I couldn’t breathe In the parking lot at Bargain Hunts of Rome, GA. Getting drunk over The gym girl. Oh my Goodness
But um, I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with me. I’ve been hurt too much like on a level that’s just
The kids are the only reason I don’t blow my brains out. And that’s it, I don’t know what else to say like that’s the only reason I’m even here anymore. I don’t know what to do with myself half the time. You know, I know that I’ve got a better job than I’ve had since I left Honda since I had a nervous breakdown because of Brittany and fucking left. Honda And uh, it’s been a real struggle. It really has
And that is that is on the noses fucking guitar. The nicest fucking guitar like why would you pick up anything else? Why would I be saying anything else? And uh, I’ve said it the same way like the second time and It. I don’t I don’t know why, I let this app bother me. Like it does. All I have to do is edit that out. And, Like I say it again.
So I won’t have to. I can just delete it. Yeah. And instead of like changing it. It’s easier to delete it than change it so I say it again and then I bitch about it because I’m crazy but I don’t like I really don’t know what to do with myself and I’ll see a a sweet lady. And I’ll be like well hey there, you know, and then I freak out because she looks back at me. 90% of the time they look back at me, it’s like, oh my God. I wasn’t ready for that, you know.
Like you weren’t supposed to look back. I was just adoring You. You’re the cutest lady ever, that’s how it was with helmet. Girl, I thought when I saw her, I was like, you know, And then she started. Staring back. Oh my God, it just freaked. I just freaked out and ran away. It’s like
I’m a stupid fucking kid.
Cutie. 1 of them, just walked by my car and looked at me and made a crazy face. And I did, I said that really loud.
I don’t know. I’m just sitting here in my car. People walking by I talk really loud.
I should have honked the damn horn at her it was just She’s on the other shift though. It it could never work. We would never see each other. She was like a quality team lead chick with red hair.
She looked.
Closer to my age than helmet. Girl does. Hahaha And you know that’s the 1 thing though I’ll worry about. If I do get mixed up because they do not care. It’s like you all know I’m 45 years old right? And they’re like they don’t care. I’m like, ah, I don’t know. But I don’t. A big reason.
Why I am, kind of apprehensive about getting mixed up with somebody half, my age is if my daughter hates them or if they get competitive or jealous or something, because my daughter is like,
The last person in the world, I would ever want to have a conflict with in regards to, like, who I’m in a relationship with
Yeah, like my girlfriend, you know, like I don’t like that would be, I would dump her immediately. I mean, not even a second thought and Uh, I just it just sounds to me, it just, you know, processes through my brain. A whole bunch of Trouble and a whole bunch of drama that I couldn’t handle anyway. So I avoid it. I guess I have an avoidant Uh, type personality I do and it comes from
Just,
Being stuck around a bunch of people who fucking suck and treated me. Like I’m crap. But my whole life, like my dad And then being married to my ex-wife being with my ex-wife for 18 years because she treated me the same way and I don’t know. What or how? I don’t know. Where the fuck I’m at half the time anymore.
It’s like I said, I just I live for the weekends, I get my kids and the rest of the time. I’m just like, well, I’m existing, you know, I try to distract myself with crap.
I haven’t been able to do music. That’s the only thing that keeps me happy when I’m not with the kids. And my my voice has been fucked up and that is beyond frustrating. Like it just it’s like okay thanks. You know, I just came up with a bunch of songs. I got a 30 song set list, I’ve got all this shit and then my voice is fucked up. It’s been fucked up for a month. And it was fine, uh, last weekend, not this past weekend, but the weekend before until I started, Singing Devil Woman in standard tuning. I have to, you know, just transpose my voice 2 steps up and I have to really like
Strain, I guess my voice isn’t in good enough shape. I haven’t maintained it enough to hit the high notes with Devil Woman in standard tuning.
Oh,
It fucked my voice right back up and universe girl does the same thing. Which are, you know, that might, maybe that tells me I shouldn’t play those 2 songs. You know, 1’s about my ex-wife. The other is about my ex fiance. But um,
Gosh.
I did, I just kind of exploded with words, all of the sudden I wasn’t feeling on the way up here. The whole way up here. I was like I don’t feel like making a fucking blog post.
I made what 3? I made 1.
Yesterday, 2, yesterday and 1 early this morning,
I slept till about 2:30 and woke up to a bunch of texts that Peter had sent me. And, and there’s Robert
Didn’t even look.
Yeah, that’s funny
That was my team leader.
Gosh. Now, even more beautiful ladies I just parked. She’s a a group lead though. She’s beside Parked beside of me and she’s leaving.
Gosh.
Gosh, if I worked on the other shift, I swear to God, that’s the most beautiful group lead I’ve ever seen. Oh my God.
You know, they make I heard they make 150,000 dollars a year. Hahaha Yeah, that’s what I heard anyways. I took this off of my Instagram yeah, my blog so I can talk about whatever nobody’s going to find this. Nobody cares.
Anyways, holy shit.
But I guess, I am fixing to walk into the plant. And edit this. Probably find something else to eat. My Lunchbox thing is fucked up and it sucks.
And,
Blah. Yeah, you know but I might I may very well Pawn that guitar tomorrow and get it out Friday or something. I mean that is that’s the nicest fucking guitar. Hey, there’s the word. Yeah. The first time um that that’s the nicest guitar I’ve ever had. It’s crazy. It’s like, you know,
As much as I bitched about Peter, the last couple of months. Like, I don’t know. I guess that makes it right. I don’t know. Hahaha Ha ha ha ha.
Thank you, please.
MY BLOG NUMBER SEVEN 