WEDNESDAY AGAIN

3:39 AM

Woohoo, I’m headed to work. Yeah, I made a post earlier. I was just like I just woke up. I was like blah blah blah but it’s novelty day. Yeah, happy novelty day everybody.

Um, I Googled it actually because I was like, you know, I was wondering if there’s anything about novelty today.

And I couldn’t find anything on Google. It’s weird. Yeah, Google actually. Kind of sucks. Now, I don’t know, I’ll Google some stuff and nothing pops up like it used to.

I don’t. Think that’s an accident.

Haha, I think this world is just, I don’t know. I don’t even know what to think. Like this world, half the time.

About this world half the time. Yeah.

But I’m gonna go to the gym.

And I’m going to work out and it’s going to be a

A hoot. Yeah.

I’ve noticed.

Um lately, a lot of breakups. Yeah. Uh this other chick like well I guess 3 break UPS. I’ve noticed um ever since like Brittany the last thing she did was kind of felt like that it was like you know maybe metaphysically we are broken up now, are we? I mean.

That’s kind of what I’ve been trying to, you know, get away from for the last at least the last 2 and a half years. Yeah.

You know, uh but I really don’t want to talk about her anymore like, unless something remarkable happens again, I just I don’t want to talk about her because I’ve talked about her probably more than I’ve talked about anybody else. In this blog. And it’s just, you know, I’m I’m I’ve been trying to move on from this ever since I left the Honda plant. Oh, that was almost what it’s been 3 months. Shy of 3 years ago. Yeah.

It has been. But she never leaves me alone.

You know anybody who’s going to drive me so crazy, I have a nervous breakdown and do a bunch of mean, you know? Fucked up shit. Like and go out of the way to fucking do it, you know, like,

Do do they really deserve me? You know? I mean, what the hell? Yeah.

But I ate 2 hot dogs.

I forgot to eat last night, I fell asleep. I think I mentioned that in the last post. And I woke up and I was like, I better eat hot dogs and I edited that last post. While I was, waiting for them and uh, Eating hot dogs. I guess the 3 break UPS I’ve noticed because the the roommate that just moved in like she had to have just broken up with this guy. Uh I was looking at her Facebook 1 day she posted a picture. It was like jamming at the house with the dude and Uh, I don’t know. He seemed like a nice guy. I don’t know him though. I just I know he knows all the cool people that I know from Anniston, Yeah.

But like, you know, I don’t know. And then uh, My last. What? My ex-girlfriend not. The last that was like she was like

2x girlfriends ago or something it was 7 years ago though. Yeah and it’s it’s like it’s hard to believe it’s been that long.

Uh, but yeah, she’s single I’ve noticed like and that has a that’s just been Something that’s happened in the last few weeks. And then this other chick named uh, Olivia who is just

1 of my favorite ladies. She’s single now. Yeah and I don’t know what that guy did like I was like why in the hell would you let a lady like her like And I say, like, get away but like, do everything that it possibly took to keep her, like that’s the kind of chick she is You know.

Oh, I just, I don’t know. I almost Went that Direction with the ex girlfriend. I just mentioned like I started to just You know, ride that out. And uh, you know, if I, if I had lived up here or something, that would have been easier to do. You know, it would have but Uh me having to drive, you know, it was an hour and a half up here. Uh I was driving up here, 3 or 4 times a week. In a 2004, Ford Explorer. That took, I mean, it took

A lot of gas, right? Yeah. And I just, I don’t know.

It got where I just couldn’t sustain it anymore you know and it for it to not be any more, the relationship not to be any more than it was but I started to just be like that with her, you know. Uh, because she’s also I felt like 1 of those chicks that You know, like why in the hell would anybody let her like? Like why would they not just do everything it took to keep her and if her and I had been together for a long time, it would have been different. I don’t know. But like she was that kind of a chick too though. It’s just it wasn’t realistic for me to do that at the time. And she is. She’s still she’s the only 1 that I would ever entertain. The possibility of, you know, getting back together with Like you know, even the tiniest bit like zero negative. No numbers with the rest of them. Haha Yeah. But like with her, you know, I would actually, I would

I would totally give her another shot. Yeah, I would. Uh, she’s 35 now and the last picture I really looked at of her. She had a bunch of gray hair which she had gray hair then, but she Was 28. Yeah.

But uh, she was, she was my favorite. Like, Like all around best. Post divorce girlfriend. It’s just wasn’t. You know, I wasn’t I shouldn’t have had any post divorce. Girlfriends. Yeah. Like that was kind of the lesson I learned from that. That’s why I’ve been single for so long. And I would love. A girlfriend. I would love to find somebody. I would love to have a special lady. Like so much right now. And I don’t know that, you know, the ones from work. I think that they all I want to say they all think I’m probably a jerk. They don’t understand, you know, and I’m I’ve gotten a lot better. It’s just the way some of them look at me, you know, they just

I don’t know what they think. They make up shit in their head. Yeah, like that’s women. Love to do that. Anyways, I mean people do that.

Too, but women love to like just indulge in fucking crazy shit. Go overboard with it. That’s been, you know, my experience, that’s what you know, that’s what Brittany did. You know, uh because I guess if they you know, the reality of it is I was really just a sad. Broken fucked up person. Who was afraid of being, like, hurt. Wasn’t even. It would have killed me. Yeah. Like the what the little bit of bullshit that was with Tiffany. Uh, as much as that fucked me up. Like an actual like falling in Real Love again and it, you know, me being like I mean, just it was and it was all intuitive. It wasn’t a, you know, it wasn’t like a rational thought process. I couldn’t think about it I was so freaked out and terrified but like like shaking like Like a Like a fucking, you know, Like that’s the most about the most afraid I’ve ever been in my life. Like, I’m not even exaggerating. Like, uh, you know, the the way Brittany the way all that was, you know, it was that scared me on a spiritual and visceral level, like I threw up about it 1 time, I mean, I mentioned that before in a post it’s like, I can’t, it’s like, she just doesn’t understand. They can’t understand because to look at me, you wouldn’t think anything bothered me like that. But that’s what, you know. That’s how it is and it sucks, but I am better. You know, like, I’m not like, as in better like, you know, I’m not like, fully you know, like 100%. But I’m better as in like I’m better than I was 3 years ago and that’s okay.

But I do and I still I hide from all of it you know, I hide from everything. I’m still I still hide from the gym girls. You know. And Helmet girl and the Quality chick

And I love all of them. All of all the sweet. Special ladies where I work. You know, I love my new roommate too. I love the boss lady roommate. You know, it’s like I just I love all of them. But, You know. As far as like,

Having a girlfriend again and all that stuff. Like I as much as I would love that, I really can’t imagine who it would be. Or that even happening Right now.

But I just feel like I’m way overdue. For another romantic entanglement. Yeah.

At the same time though, uh I would, you know, I really just need to get Through this week. Yeah. Yeah, I was just thinking

Oh, I’m almost to work. Well, I’m almost to the exit.

I’m going to stop at the RaceTrac. I’ve already eaten breakfast. So I’m going to stop and get coffee. They did away with my coffee drinks. The triple shots espresso I don’t know why.

Oh, but

I said, open butts.

I hope. Oh, butts. Yeah, that’s what I said. Open butts. Haaaa.

That’s the first time it’s ever picked that up. Yeah that hahaha like a whole bunch of A’s.

But yeah, um, they had the uh,

Fucking.

Triple shots. A lot. What? What were they even? Uh, the fucking Starbucks. And they replaced that with like, the Nitro Yeah, and I don’t know. But I do consume on average way too much caffeine. I do.

But hey, I got tonight. I got tonight. I’m still. Yeah, my brains are still on night shift. I’ve got today and tomorrow. And Friday.

Ha ha ha ha.

Uh, I’m just like I got to work Saturday though. And get through this week. You know, next weekend I’m going to get the kids.

But I do, I really wish I had a girlfriend.

Like gosh, so much.

I was just, I feel like I’m going to waste, you know.

But at the same time, it’s taken a lot for me to, you know, heal up properly and get the perspective, I need and value myself. That’s kind of the thing, too. It’s like, well shit. You know, the effect, I have on the ladies at work, you know, I have that effect on all of them, like I’m not worthless. You know. I’m not bad.

Aww passing Target Distribution Center. Yeah, there were some of the sweetest ladies I ever met there too. I was thinking, I added a couple of them on Facebook and 1 of them though. She had a boyfriend You could tell though that it was 1 of those things where they had been together for a long time and

Uh she just didn’t think she could do any better or something. I don’t know. But, uh, sometimes I wish I would have just Let her have me. She was a really sweet lady but she didn’t we didn’t really have anything in common and that’s that’s how it goes. There’s actually there’s this chick.

Uh, that I’m friends with from Athens. Uh, she added me back in October. And I mean, I don’t know there’s just something special about her but we don’t have anything in common but like

If I ever met her in person, my face would explode. Yeah. It’s just, it’s crazy.

3:55 AM
Oh my goodness. Here I am at the racetrack and yeah.

I don’t really know. Hey, the Krispy Kreme truck is here. I guess they get here pretty early but I am I’m going to get my stuff.

Oh this is going to talk about crazy girl. But uh anyways I’m going to go go in there. I’m not going to talk about that.

Well, I’ll come back and talk about it.

Okay.

I said, yeah, I’m back.

Um there’s this girl I call her crazy girl because she is and she always gets there. Like I don’t know what her job is. She walks around with like

Like 2 other people part of a Team and Uh, she’s always there like super early and she’s always there late. Um, I don’t know if she’s an engineer.

Or what the hell she is. But

It doesn’t matter what time I get there.

She’s always there Before I am, yeah.

And She always gets the, the like the closest parking space to the entrance.

That’s not handicapped.

Every time I see her, I’m like there’s crazy girl. Oh, it’s crazy girl.

Nobody gets here before crazy girl. Crazy girl gets here first, you know, she’s so crazy and I’ll say that shit. Yeah, it’s funny.

But I love her, too.

Yeah.

Hello.

Ha.

Ha ha ha. Hello ha. Ha ha.

It’s not wanting to pick up my laughter.

Oh, thank you, please.