SUNDAY MORNING

12:12 AM
Well.

Hello. Yep. I’m just, uh, hanging out in my room. I fell asleep.

When did I fall asleep? Uh oh gosh, it’s daylight savings today, isn’t it? Yeah, like later on or something.

Shit, I fell asleep at like,

5:30 or 6 or something? Yeah. Um and uh I think I woke back up around.

9:30 or 10:00.

Oh,

Bunch of crazy stuff going on upstairs. And dogs barking and panting. Jangling everywhere, you know, with the collars and stuff. Haha And um,

I don’t know, I laid here for about an hour. I’m just like, dang, I get up. And I make hot dogs and I come up the stairs and I’ve got my hot dogs. And uh, I recorded when we were frogs and I put Bass to it and it sounds really good. Really happy. How it turned out? I was listening to that and I didn’t think it was up too loud at all. And all of a sudden about 3/4 of the way through the song, I get a text From uh, my roommate, the 1 that used to take me back and forth to work.

Um, she’s just like, you Really need to get some headphones. And actually the post I made password protected. The other day was me going off about her. Yeah. Because she’s just being a bitch. I mean, it’s not that loud. I turned it down, but like the other morning I turned it down. Like I could barely even hear it. And she was like texting me about it and I’m like, okay, you know, you’re just being mean.

And uh she is. She’s just being an asshole but that’s the kind of person she is.

All right, I guess I’m at the house. Upstairs in my room or I would just go off about it. I don’t want to go off about it though but it’s like gosh the way she acted.

She took me back and forth to work and I was paying her pretty well and she was so mean And like, I just, I never knew like what kind of mood she was going to be in, you know, how she was going to act?

Yeah. It was like dang but you know

My music. Like, it’s not up that loud. Oh no, I don’t know. But like I get woken up all the time by their crap. Yeah, it was just like, okay. Like earlier, with the dogs?

It’s just that’s just roommates. I guess, I won’t.

I’m not going to go off about it though but I can’t live here forever. I’m so socially burned out right now haha like my co-workers? Just You know, I can’t relate to anybody, and it’s okay. It’s just

Fucking, I guess I can do 5 days a week, but 6 days is a little too much. And um, Yeah, I remember, you know, it was 25 years ago that I had roommates last. And I remember why I didn’t really like it

That’s kind of the thing like the roommate, you know. It’s crazy and Just, Ugly, I guess really is how she acted a lot of the time.

She could be she doesn’t have anything on my mom. Yeah, it’s like, oh my God. I hate to say that. I mean that was 1 reason why I was able to deal with her as well as I did. It’s like well this ain’t anything compared to the shit that my mom used to do so. Yeah or my ex-wife. Yeah.

Ha.

But I talk too much about this kind of crap, I don’t know. It’s just like, I don’t, I’m annoyed. Like I was I’m just like, dang, you know, It’s Saturday night, it wasn’t that loud. But Like her dog? I don’t know how many times her dog has woke me up. Just barking at crap. You know, and then the new roommate has 2 dogs and they bark at crap and they’re loud and they run around and Pant. And it’s like, you know, I’m not that loud. If I had a couple of crazy dogs, I don’t know. I just could see her giving me shit for something that she would do.

I’ll never have another dog, though.

Probably I won’t have any more pets ever. I’ve got my 2 kids and You know, they’re going to outlive me. I fucking hope they they will, you know, I don’t think I’ll Fucking what? 5? 5. 10 years left of this shit. I hope

I mean, haha I just, I don’t know.

It’s just really burned out on planet Earth right now, you know?

Oh, But I’m not like miserable or depressed or anything. I’m just

I’m tired. I guess I’ve had everybody has their limits. I don’t know. It’s like

God.

I don’t have like,

Well that’s why like a big reason why I go to my storage unit sometimes and do music. So I can be completely alone.

Because I don’t get that unless I’m in my car and that’s the most alone and I need that, I have to have like a loan time.

Alone time. You know.

But I’m really really introverted and I’m not normal.

And, you know, people are like well, who is normal, what is normal? It’s like most people. Are normal like almost everybody’s normal. You know.

That’s what’s called normal, but I’m not, I had a really isolated.

Sheltered upbringing but I’m not like stupid it’s and it’s not that I don’t get like social cues or get like other people or get like it’s that so much of that stuff is bullshit that I disregard it. Yeah, it’s like yeah I get that, you know, that’s what you meant or that’s what, you know, reading between the lines. Like I do that. It’s just

You know, it’s to me, it’s

Retarded. You know, a lot of the time sometimes it’s, you know, it’s okay and

Human beings have such.

I don’t know. Um, I don’t know. I don’t it’s not really that big of a deal, you know?

It’s just sometimes  you know, I just I guess I’ve just had enough for, you know, I need to probably lay here and space out and then fall back asleep and get in a good night’s sleep. I’m going to rest. Tomorrow. Um, do my chores and just kind of take it easy and I think I’ll be okay, you know.

I guess I don’t like hypocrisy and I don’t like, You know, people with double standards that offends the shit out of me.

But they can’t,  people with double standards if they had any, they lack the self-awareness. To um,

I guess move beyond that. It’s like, no, do you even they’re not aware though? Or they would be like, oh, I have double standards. I better fix that.

It’s a problem. So yeah.

And people who just like to be, you know, mean, Just because they can. Mean to people who are way too Nice. Anyways, it’s like God, I took a I’ve taken a lot of shit from her, although Like thr dishwasher thing back in, I guess that was August.

It’s like, you know,

I’m just so nice.

I think when you’re too nice, people think you’re stupid because like, who’s that nice? They have to be stupid. You know, but that’s not how it is. It’s

I like being nice, it makes everything better.

I have a hard time being mean, I feel bad and even like I can like say stuff, you know, blah and all this, but I feel sorry for her. I guess ultimately and that’s why I’m so nice and I take her shit. Because it’s just like, yeah, she’s really pitiful.

I guess that’s the problem, you know, it’s like dang, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

That’s how my mom. Like my mom could just You know, hurt. And terrify. Like I can’t put into words, but that she would feel the need to do that? You know, it was really sad. It’s like that’s not You don’t have to be.

Like that, you don’t have to be mean and crazy. It’s better when you are nice

I don’t know.

I guess I’m going off of a, a little different direction. It’s just like I guess if she wasn’t, you know,

If it was, it’s not that big of a deal, but she makes it a big deal, but it’s, it’s not a big deal. It’s just a big deal to her. But everything is a big deal to her. Because her world is so small. And I’m not, I’m not going to go off on a rant though about that. Let’s talk about something else.

I guess when you don’t have a fucking life and you don’t have to get up and do fucking anything, you don’t want to do, you know, you can just do whatever you want to all day long. Um and you just you know, you don’t have to deal with anything real like

Trivial stupid shit to somebody like me is like, you know, it’s the most Incredible things to them. What am I? How am I trying to say that?

Eric’s the same way my friend Eric is the same way, it’s like little tiny stupid things that They only matter to him because he doesn’t have anything better to think about or focus on that’s like the You know.

As people who have to have noticed a, I’m having a hard time with words. I wouldn’t want to say like saturated with ones in their charts, but they have a disproportionate amount, you know, to the average Yeah.

Whatever. Anyways.

I’ll just be glad when I get paid for, uh, today. I guess technically, it’s Sunday now.

Oh my God. Stop thinking about I was just thinking like the like I don’t know just the way she acted about the dishwasher. It’s like,

Yeah, this isn’t a big deal, right? You know like if you had to like really get out in the world and And do stuff and interact with people. And actually had like real things to worry about this would not be a big deal to you. I don’t know that’s how it is.

God. Oh God.

Because it was unnecessary and it caused me a lot of stress. She was a piece of shit about it for no other reason than she likes being mean.

Like, you know, who does this shit? Nobody else. I don’t have to deal with anybody else who acts like that, on a regular basis except for her, I mean, you know, that’s 1 reason why I stopped hanging out With Eric,  and uh I finally just, you know, I’m like wow, I took my mom to my sister’s. But, you know, the fact that I was trying to like,

I put myself out in a really crazy way to keep us in the motel room. And to spare my sister as long as I could, hoping something might come through and, uh, you know but it didn’t. And I couldn’t afford. To stay in it, you know, that was $400 a week I wasn’t making a lot of money at the time.

I guess, you know, because I had taken care of my mom for the last.

5 or 6 years, you know? I figured it was my sister’s turn. Yeah, especially after she got us kicked out of the apartment and everything. Oh, it’s just so sad.

I guess it’s you know, the roommate chick though, that’s the main thing is I don’t think she realizes just how nice I have been. About all this crap.

12:28 AM
It actually like it’s like just you know it gets to a point it’s like I don’t know that she deserves For me to continue being nice and accommodating like, You know, I just, I don’t know that she didn’t maybe she deserves to see, maybe I need to flip that around on her a couple times, or once that would probably be all it would take. But I don’t I can’t do that because what would happen. Like it was like my dad when the last time I blew up at my dad on the chicken farm it would it would be something like that. She would probably like literally have a stroke or something It wouldn’t like she wouldn’t be able to handle it because most of those people like her, I’ve never met actually. I’ve never met a person. Uh, who dishes it out like that. You know? Who can also take it? Yeah, like anybody. They just, you know, like

They can never take it when you put it back on them. It’s weird. My dad’s like that.

Um,

Eric’s like that.

Yeah, I mean they’ll just judge the shit out of everybody else and tell everybody what they’re doing wrong all the time. But they don’t, you know, they don’t look at themselves. And then when you point something out, its character assassination or You know it’s something melodramatic. How dare anyone call them out on Anything? It’s just oh my God how like

Oh, it’s so stupid but I feel better talking about it. Because she also like, yeah, you know,

It’s not my problem. It’s her that sucks

But I am, I’m really, really nice.

I’m like, Gosh, like it’s a good thing and it’s genuine like I’m genuinely like I care But I get I do. I just get really burned out after a point. It’s like damn.

Oh, but whatever. I’ve got, uh, I can get 53 dollars on my chime. Afterpay, I’ll probably here in a few hours. Yeah. Um so I’m not as broke and that’s great.

I wish I had, uh,

More energy. But like I can’t have any more energy because I’m so tired. It’s like, I just need to rest, you know, like, there’s nothing that would help like coffee.

Even like cocaine or something. Haha It would just it would make me. I would crash a lot harder

It would make things worse. Yeah.

I just need to rest. But I want to play guitar. I want to go out to the garage and play guitar and sing but

I don’t have the energy. I have the energy to make a blog post though, at least I’m doing something creative.

Oh well, I should post a screenshot of like some of the crazy shit she has said in the fucking group text. It’s like

I don’t know why.

My ex fiance was like that too. My ex fiance.

I remember she would just comb through my Facebook page and every little thing stuff from 7 or 8 years before that she would like she would pick a fight with me about some crap. That somebody posted on my wall in 2013

Because she didn’t have anything better to do.

Thank you, please.