THURSDAY AAaª

4:50 AM
Oh my goodness. I do I do I say that Because it’s like, here’s all this shit in my brain. Oh my goodness.

That’s how I start a lot of blog posts, but I am driving to work.

I made my yesterday’s morning. Post password protected. I don’t know, sometimes, I feel like I go too far off, not that? I care. So much as I just I feel like I’m being mean, you know. It’s it’s not though it’s like the truth of stuff. It’s like People are fucking people, can be really. Selfish and ignorant of Their Own bullshit. And, you know, I’m I do that too but I don’t Not when it comes to the big things. Like being a parent. And, you know, being a

Decent person. And there’s a lot of people like me in the world. There’s there are more people like me in the world than there aren’t. I know. Some really great people.

And a lot of those really great people get called assholes by people who are really the assholes. Uh, for example, my house remodeling boss is 1 of the best people I have ever met. You know, and I could totally see where you know he probably wasn’t the best dad, my dad wasn’t the best dad, he is the most awesome fucking dude ever though, like in every other way. Well, he wasn’t the best dad to me. He was a better dad to my sister.

He was a great dad to my youngest adopted sister but not the oldest and uh I think you know it’s kind of I don’t know, I don’t know what went wrong with that generation. Uh but anyways, but he is Like my house remodelingbboss. My house, remodeling boss and his wife? They don’t make people better than them. I would have died without those people without them. They’re they’re almost like my second set of parents.

I mean, holy shit and uh, you know, I don’t know what went wrong with my friend, Eric, like, he’s still my bro and sometimes I really miss him. You know, sometimes I really miss my pal Eric, but

Like he’s lazy and entitled and selfish and he has fucked me over about stuff. It’s really crazy. I had an incident yesterday. Actually, with a guy from work, Uh, who’s an asshole and he’s like the littlest

Tiniest baby. Uh, he’s just a he’s the littlest little shit of a guy on our team and he’s lazy as hell and he’s just he’s just a little Asshole, and he manipulated the group lead. Who didn’t know we’re only supposed to do like the shittiest process? Uh, in our Zone, we’re only supposed to do it 1 time.

And uh, 1 time a day. We can only do it 1 time a day. And the group lead, didn’t know that and he like manipulated the group lead. Like um,

30 minutes into the, uh, third quarter to get him to change the scheduling to get us to swap. So he wouldn’t have to do the shittiest process at the end of the day with 45 minutes overtime.

Like he just was being a lazy ass so he manipulated the group lead. To a fucking, you know? And then I told the group lead about it, like, you know, like I didn’t say, hey, he manipulated you. I said, hey, we can’t do that process twice. And uh, the guy I saved the guy though that they had scheduled to do it, at the end of the quarter, I saved him some stress. Yeah, because he would have been like what the fuck. I can’t do this 2 times and he would have Raised hell about it. I didn’t want to stress him out and he’s a really great dude. So you know, I just kind of like I don’t You know, I get that I am the most physically probably toughest.

You know, strongest person. But it’s because it’s, it’s not from being a little asshole, like him, and he is, he’s a weak little shit. And it sucks that he did that and I’ll never look at him the same way he like, basically you fucked me over. You know. But like it, it it just it was insulting. It was like little fucking turd. Yeah, you little turd. God oh, I’ll never I’ll never look at him the same way. But like I was mad about it for for about an hour yesterday. I just gosh I thought you know I ought to just pick him up and throw him. Throw him off the line.

Hurl him off into the fucking in front of a Tugger, you know? But uh, And you know ultimately it’s like oh you know imagine being him he’s like 5 foot tall you know like my son is bigger than him and you know I just I just try to put myself in his place. You know, like I’m just glad I’m not him, I guess, you know, assholes are their own punishment.

Of course, I know a lot of little dudes like that who are awesome.

You know. I don’t I don’t know what it’s like to be, you know, an adult and be that size especially a man. You know, I kind of pity him. A little bit. But fuck him too. At the same time. You know? Anyways though, um, what was I saying? What else was I saying?

Yeah, I don’t know. He probably thinks I’m an asshole. Yeah, I guess that was my point. I don’t know. But, uh, and that’s like, you know, my friend Eric, he thinks, you know, his dad’s was the biggest asshole in the fucking world. But uh, He’s really not He was just really hard. He was too hard on Eric just like, my dad was way too hard on me. And it was kind of ridiculous. It gave me a massive inferiority complex and it has just it’s been really good. Not having hardly any contact with my dad for the last 8 years. Yeah, it’s been really good. For me.

Oh, the irony though, that’s the thing. It’s like I saved my dad’s business. He couldn’t have kept doing it in the capacity that he wanted to do. If it hadn’t been for me and I trained my step cousin. Who took my place? Which that ended really. Really sad. Also, but uh I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about that kind of stuff right now. I’m I’m getting the kids this weekend, my daughter doesn’t have plans like she thought with her boyfriend. So um we’re going to I’m going to get them Friday night and we’re going to have fun and we’re going to stay at the house. So I don’t spend a, you know, hundred dollars on a hotel. Yeah, and uh we’re just going to have a great time. We’re going to, we’re going to make cookies. I’m going to, I’m going to cook something Saturday night.

We’ll make something we’ll hang out and watch movies. We’ll go Adventure. It’ll be a hoot.

Oh my God. And I woke up this morning about 1:00.

I williedean. Uh, I got the, you know, I guess I do use a lot of stuff I make up. Uh, words and like

You know, when you get the Willies, Yeah, I got all freaked out. I freaked myself out watching fucking Mr. Ballen videos. Yeah, that’s funny. That that picks his name up. But he is, he’s a really great Storyteller and I was uh, I got sucked into a couple of his videos and they’re long as shit. I know if I see a Mr. Ballen reel on Facebook. It’s, uh, Yeah, I it had it then it changed it. Back to the wrong word. I’ll have to edit it in anyways. Um, I know I’m going to, at least spend 10 minutes watching it, so I don’t always engage in those, uh, reels.

But,

Oh my God, uh, 1 of them was this hacker. That this hiker. Yeah, who disappeared. And I guess it was Taiwan.

Or something him. And some of his friends were hiking and uh, he just disappeared and they went back and looked for him and couldn’t find him and they searched for him. They sent a search party for like, 2 weeks or something and, uh,

Like they had taken pictures and stuff, uh, you know, they were just, this is like 1990s. So it’s not like today and you had to go get your film developed.

Oh my God, it’s just fucking. It’s still like, it’s giving me goosebumps fucking. Um,

The uh oh my God and you know it was like you know like 1 2 3 a.m. when I was watching these fucking Um, reels.

But, uh, like he had taken a picture of 1 of his of, of the friend, who disappeared. Um, At the bottom of like this thing, where a rope, they had to use this rope to climb up a hill. And at the top of the Rope at the top of the hill was this, Girl, it was the oh my God. It’s giving me the craziest Goosebumps. Oh my gosh. Oh it’s so. Oh my goodness. It’s fucking up my brain to think about it but it’s like Oh my God. It did. Oh gosh, it was the williest fucking thing. Yeah. Holy shit.

Oh my goodness. I’ll have to, like, post the pictures or something(no im not). I got around early enough. I can edit this post and comfortably while I’m in the break room.

I’m going to get a poke bowl or something. Yeah.

Up.

Oh my goodness.

I’m going to have to keep using it though. Oh, I’m blowing in the vocal trainer thing. Wow, it makes a huge difference.

Anyways.

Oh, butts.

And then another 1. Another 1 I got sucked into the videos is, uh, When he was talking about National Park disappearances.

Oh my God. And then I went down this Rabbit Hole of feral Appalachian people. And that freaked me out too because

There have been stories around where I live of people like that. Where I grew up. Yeah.

Uh where I’m from. Um there was these people called the Dirty Johnson’s. Yeah, they were like, like quasi feral though. They weren’t like just. You know. But it was, uh,

Yeah. That was like uh oh and all and all the people like went to school with the dirty Johnsons, they called them. The DJs

They would all wear like the same clothes like, they were like 3 of them and a sister 3, Brothers, and a sister or something. They would all alternate, like they’d wear the same clothes like,

The same like sets of clothes like the same shirt. And they’re, they were always dirty and they always stunk.

And we went by their house. It was on this like crazy ass fucking back road. Uh, 1 night at like 2 or 3:00 a.m. um, Me and some of my friends went out there and drove by the dirty Johnson’s, like they lived in this shack. And a 1 of them was standing out like in the yard and like, God, it was like, it had to been, like, 2 or 3 a.m. we were, we were like, we were in high school. Then we were like 17 and, uh, Yeah, let’s go see the DJs. They didn’t pick up any of the anyways. Uh yeah my friend Phillip who I have no idea what happened to him but um Yeah, it was like, let’s go see the DJs.

5:07 AM
And so we did you know, and it was gosh, it was so Weird. But it kind of reminded me of that but there were like, You know. The feral people though are like, They’re not. I don’t fucking know, it’s crazy. But I was uh I was reading all about feral Appalachian people that you know that was at like 3:00 a.m. and I just got all willies I still get willied out about that. Picture of the girl though that oh my God.

I’ve talked about in some uh posts over the summer some of my paranormal experiences. Like it it’s just I like that stuff. It’s not a matter of believing in it or not like

Shit. You know, it’s fucking it, that’s stuff, there’s a lot of stuff. That exists outside of the human, you know, like this Paradigm that I’m in right now.

You know, America and Society. Like that’s just a slice, a tiny slice of all perceivable reality is Yeah, so it’s, uh, You know.

I really like when I think about it, you know, a lot of times when I think about that, I really do like my life. Just fine. You know I like working in a car factory. You know, I like getting my kids. I love getting my kids. I miss the shit out of them. And it’s going to keep me out of trouble because You know, there’s that girl from Danville and she keeps making like, thirsty posts and it’s like, well, you know, and then Stephanie came back and her and that guy are broken up and it’s like, well, you know, That’s going to keep me out of trouble this weekend too. Oh my God. Oh my fucking god like And those are seriously 2 of The Last women. I need to get mixed up with not that there’s anything wrong with them per se. It’s just You know, Stephanie’s just going to yank me around and drive me crazy and make me sad and that other girl is probably going to do the same thing. Even though she’s really beautiful, we don’t have anything in common

And I think she does she likes drugs, she kind of Yeah, she kind of I get that vibe off of her and I’m not into like party drugs and shit. Like I don’t know. I’m

I think her and I could, we would have a lot of fun though. But like, I just don’t know.

That I don’t know. Yeah, I’m not going to do it.

I would rather. Uh, God this person behind me with their fucking lights. So, I would rather, um,

Spend the weekend with my kids. I miss My kids more than I wish. I had a girlfriend. Yeah, and then Brittany pecked on, uh, my blog, the other day, my other blog. I’m almost 100% sure it was her. It’s this article that I made in like May of 2022. And uh, where I talk about how I wish, you know, I could find a lady and the next 1. I’ve only got it in me for like, 1 more relationship. And the next 1 is going to be the most loved lady in the fucking universe.

And she’ll hit that from time to time, I guess to maybe to remind me or something. I don’t know but I wish she would just message me. Like that’s all she’d ever have to do, is just be like, you know, hey, And I would be like hey and then, you know, we’d go from there. I don’t I don’t understand the games. Because,

Brittany’s, the biggest crush I ever had.

And I still like, as much as I love all the ladies where I work and have met some really sweet, beautiful ladies. I still have never had the feelings. That I had around Brittany, like nothing, even compares to that, like the butterflies and the, oh, it’s worse than butterflies. I mean, it was just, paralyzing me? I Was so nervous. Like, oh my God. That I mean, I never had a woman affect me like that.

Like ever. And so you know I mean twin flames and, you know, it’s the same thing for her like no, dudes, ever affected her. Like I have And uh, holy shit, you know?

I still don’t understand. How her and I didn’t end up together other than I think she supposed to be number 8. So, and number 7 hasn’t happened yet. And why do I think that? Well, it’s, I don’t know because she’s an 8 and she knows that she’s into all that stuff, too. She just doesn’t talk about like

You know, she doesn’t talk about stuff like I do. But she parked in Row 8. At Honda she uh she’s an 8 life path. She always got gas at pump. Number 8, And I don’t I can’t remember. Oh, and the card she left on the doorstep of the apartment complex was 8. Like she’s supposed to be number 8.

Yeah, It had eights all over the card did. So it’s like You know. She’s supposed to be number 8 and I think that’s why

But I had plenty of opportunities for number 7. I just

It’s like I haven’t been able to. It’s like I’m bound or something. Uh, I don’t know. I can’t just have

Casual sex, I can’t just do a hookup. You know, if I got with some chick, It would be Insanity just number 7. I don’t know. I don’t know why she couldn’t be number 7.

But I mean, she’s a, she’s an 8, she’s number 8, that’s the only reason I can figure that why we didn’t end up together that was some like metaphysical reason, like that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean you know shit.

Hey, at least I’m not bitching about my roommate. Ha ha ha ha.

I don’t know, I don’t, I hope. She’s okay though. I was thinking about cuz I know a lot of people who

You know, they are a lot more tortured and fucked up than they seem, you know, like like sometimes it comes off as like arrogant and self-centered bullshit, you know, like I don’t know what her struggles are but I don’t think it’s that complicated though. But I don’t want anything bad to happen to her. I was thinking about that, I guess cuz I had a friend who hung himself and I just thought he was the most arrogant fucking, you know, dude, ever. And then it’s like, he hung himself and it’s like, oh, Yeah, that that it made me really sad and gosh that was last year.

Was New Year’s, yeah.

But um, so I mean, I don’t know, you know,

I just hope that she finds peace and but what she really needs to do is get back in her kids’ Lives full time but you know, Like, I don’t know her story but I don’t I like I said, I know a lot of deadbeat Mama ladies and it’s usually not that complicated.

I don’t know, I don’t want to talk about her anymore. Like I’m gonna have the kids, we’re gonna be at the house this weekend. I’m gonna be as nice to her and respectful to her as I am to, you know, everybody else.

And you know, there is there’s a part of me. I mean, I do love Her. Yeah. She’s she’s still 1. I mean, she is 1 of the most Beautiful women. I’ve ever met. But I mean, Jesus Christ. Oh, I get I’ve just been parking down here at this other place. I like oh that’s right. I thought about going in the other side. Hey let’s go in the other side. Let’s do that today. Let’s do something completely different.

Let’s go in the other side. That’s what I’m going to do. Sorry.

Oh sorry.

Okay, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go in the other side.

I haven’t ever.

I’ve never gone in on the other side of the plant, I’m going to do it. I don’t know what to expect either.

But I am going to go into the cafeteria. And get uh, hopefully they’ll have a poke bowl or something. Delicious. For me.

But yeah, I am a I’m going to park over here and walk in the other side, it’s going to be okay.

Wow, it’s different over here. Oh, it’s so desolate.

I’m going to park under this light post. Wow. Wow, I’m in the first parking spot, too.

I did, I did it did

Okay, well, I’m going to get my stuff together and walk into the plant and edit this

Um yeah. I got paid. Yay. And I got Mexican food last night.

Let’s have a great Thursday, huh?

Thank you, please.