MONDAY

5:03 PM

Hi, I’m driving to work.

I didn’t say hi but whatever this app is so stupid. This world is fucking stupid and I don’t understand anything.

You know and it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t so fucking miserable and I am, I’m probably 1 of the most miserable people. Anybody has ever met, they just don’t know it because I don’t complain. Except in this blog.

If it wasn’t for my kids. I would kill myself every single day. I struggle with that all day long.

All day.

Every day.

You know, and my life is a lot better than it was 2 years ago. It really is. You know, last what uh, last year. Yeah, I got this job up here.

You know, I was really lucky in a lot of ways to be able to come back to a job. I quit kind of just You know, at the last minute.

And went to Honda. Which turned out to be a bunch of shit, too, because of Brittany. And uh, my goddamn ex-girlfriend. Stephanie, she just messaged me like an hour ago. It was like, do you have a girlfriend? And I’m just like,

No, I don’t. And you’re the last Lady, I was with. She’s the only lady I’ve been with in The Last 5 Years.

That’s how pathetic That’s how pathetic I fucking am.

God, I wish I could blow my brains out in front of a bunch of people. Like in front of everybody. Everybody on planet Earth.

Except my kids. I don’t I don’t want them to see that. Isn’t that fucking retarded? Ain’t I

Yeah.

I just can’t like the way things have gone, for me, the last 8 years, you know I cannot imagine doing this for like 10 more years.

Anyways though, I’m stuck in traffic. Yeah. But like why is it always Stephanie that comes back? You know, and she’s just yanking me around. She gets bored with whatever guy She’s with, they all look the same too. They’re all these skinny little dudes with beards. They’re like. I don’t know and she gets with these guys.

And you know posts all about how in love they are and all this crazy shit, they all all of them post how they’ve found the love of their life at last And then, you know, about You know, that usually lasts about a year or so.

And she starts messaging me again and it’s it’s just Really dumb, huh?

And I don’t know why she keeps coming back and messaging me. It’s like I don’t The way she yanked me around last time was so fucking stupid.

And I don’t know that I’m going to let her do that again.

But, uh, I don’t know, I ate a hot dog from Sam’s Club and 2 cherry pies. And this fucking fountain. Drink, I guess I’m all bloated feeling, too. I don’t know why.

That’s not helping me wish. I was alive any better, you know?

I wonder where I would be though. Like if I died like what would happen you know where I would go? Like what I would be doing instead of being miserable here on Earth.

I ought to just turn around. And go to my storage unit and blow my brains out. That’s what I ought to do.

Gosh. Yeah, I sure am uncomfortable.

Drink this shitty ass water from the fucking filter. Stuff at the house that the filters need to be changed. Its like all charcoal tasting

I don’t know, I just really can’t wait to move out and get into my own place. I didn’t think I would say that like this time last year. You know, I was really happy. I didn’t mind having roommates at all. And then until I got to know everybody, you know, that, that was like

God damn it. Yeah, now my stomach’s all fucking

Oh my God. It’s just you know just fucking kill me off already.

That that’s how I feel. I feel like I’m in like, you know, I’m in a video game. Like a like an RPG or something and I’ve already like screwed up everything so much to where it’s never going to get any better for me. You know, the only thing I did right was the kids. And that, that’s it. So that’s all that’s the only thing I’ve Done, Right?

That’s the only thing I’ve done, correctly. And the rest of it, you know, I would just I would just as soon, you know, not be here. Like just fucking God either, either let something really awesome. You know, so where I’m like, happy again, something awesome happen to me, Or just kill me off.

Fuck you. Thank you, please.