SATURDAY NIGHT

7:15 PM

Yeah, it’s Saturday night.

Um, I just made a post, I guess, I’ll make another, I’m hungry. Again.

Yeah.

I’m just laying here in my bed.

Being lazy. I went outside earlier though, like

Shit. And then I make that last post.

Okay, so I guess about an hour ago I went outside and uh, played banjo

And sang a little bit. I did, uh, I’ve got banjo versions of about 10 of my songs.

But I only did like 4 and I am so out of practice, I just don’t feel like fucking with it right now. I’m tired, I guess, you know.

But like, the caffeine stuff, right? Um,

I could play some Neverwinter Nights. I could, I could try to get my character up another level or something, he’s a gnome.

You could go. I could go slay some goblins.

You know, that’s kind of the thing though about video games. Like I got out of it.

You know.

I say that a lot. Yeah, you know, and like and stuff, a lot of people will talk that way.

For real. But um yeah, I got out of video games.

So long ago that it’s like, I just started Living crazier. You know, I live the video game and I mean as much as I can,

And so it’s just like I’ll play it and it’s fun for a minute and then it’s like, you know, this isn’t real. I feel like

I should be doing something else. Like real, you know, music and stuff. I’m

Really not feeling like playing music. Should I work out?

Could. Feels good to just lay here, though.

I really got to stop getting into my roommates granola bars. I think she bought them for like something else. I mean.

Nobody eats them though they’ve been in the cabinet for 2 months.

I found them when we were cleaning out like a bunch of stuff.

I’m going to have to replace them just, you know, for like karmic purposes, haha but still I feel.

I feel bad, you know, a little bit.

It’s funny though, I’ll go to the grocery store and I’ll stock up on all this crap. And, I think, you know, oh, this will last me.

You know, long enough, this will be enough Yeah, and I’m just a pig. And then it’s all gone. All the good stuff’s usually gone. In a few days. Well see, I get paid Wednesday afternoon. I’ve got A bunch of ramen like a whole bunch. I have.

I still have plenty of crackers. Oh my God, I bought this huge industrial box of crackers. Uh, from this place called BJ’s It’s like a like a smaller version of Costco. When I get a car and everything, I’m going to have to my roommate’s got memberships, to all this stuff 1 of my roommates. Yeah. The 1 who takes me back and forth to work and I’m going to have to get like my own Membership to that 1. I liked it a little better than Costco.

It just had more stuff that I actually eat.

Yeah.

It took.

About. 2 weeks.

No like 3 weeks for me to finally eat all the pepper jack cheese, I bought and it was just 1 pack, it was just

Huge. Yeah, and then, um, I think it was 6 cans of chili I can only eat chili though with like certain, weather it’s not chilly weather, it won’t be chilly weather again until um, Like,

After September. Yeah, it’s going to be like it is other kind of soup weather. Now

I have.

Yeah. 2 cans of soup, like regular soup.

I have. Sandwich stuff.

But I ate all the tasty soup, they have the

Uh, Campbells have expanded their flavor palette, I don’t know. It’s like Nashville. Hot chicken.

Soup, and it’s like Curry.

Basically is what it tastes like to me. It’s fucking really, really good. I ate that already. They had uh, spicy chicken and dumplings. I love hot spicy foods. Yeah, and that’s another thing about chili. I ran out of my hot sauce that I usually put on everything. It’s the, uh, Okay, Techo. Yeah, Yoko. TECO Yuko TECO. Something. Yeah, something. Anyways, um

Oh, it’s not as hot. It’s not the triple X Mayan hot sauce though. That shit is fucking the only place I’ve ever found that. I guess I haven’t been to any you know, like tiendas or anything. Uh, around here, but the food Land. In Albertville, was the only place like, regular grocery store I ever found that stuff.

I used to put it on chorizo and eggs. With corn tortillas. I’m going to start getting stuff like that again.

I just hate washing dishes, like it’s not.

I don’t know.

I’m getting, I’m having to get used to like not living shitty. That has been a challenge because I actually I live in a really

Nice place. Oh yeah, especially compared. To where I’ve been the last. What this is 7 years this year since the divorce? Yeah.

I mean, the house I lived in The Farmhouse.

You know, that place was

Not too many other people would have lived there. Okay, yeah, and uh, and then living with my mom wasn’t a whole lot better than that.

You know, those apartments from the outside. Don’t I don’t know what people think, but the inside of that place, like the downtown Albertville apartments that I lived in

I realize There’s a whole backstory, you know, to all the stuff. Yeah but they weren’t as nice on the inside as people would probably imagine. It was actually all the stuff was really old. And the pipes were so Rusty, the like the water, you know.

Was so fucked up because it was a hundred and twenty years old.

130 years old. Yeah, I think it was uh, 1894, Maybe

It used to be the Albertville Hotel, you can look it up. Um,

But you could put like my mom because she wiped everything down, she had these white washcloths Uh and she would like lay it across the middle of the sink and the water had a drip, the faucet had a. Yeah. It just dripped, it was a piece of shit and it would drip just like a little bit like, you know, drip

You know, drip drip. Haha Anyways, haha over the course of like an hour or something, you know, it would drip just a little bit onto this, uh,

White washcloth and it would be a big brown stain. Where the water had dripped for just like a fucking couple of hours, you know, I mean it was kind of scary. It’s like drinking this shit and I did sometimes totally drink that tap water.

My mom did.

God, I’m hungry again. I can’t believe it. I ate that Ramen and I was so just

Full and lazy. And now I’m Hungry again.

Oh, and I also have the spicy pork stew. It’s like Yellowstone brand. I never tried it before and I walked past it one day, uh, it was probably late November early, December. And I was uh, I was like, I’ll try this. It looks good. Spicy pork stew and it fucking is Yeah.

I have.

Let’s see, 6 eggs left. I haven’t bought eggs in a while. These were given to me. By my roommate, because she went to something and

Somebody was.

Selling farm. Eggs, like their pet chickens. What The Hell? Brain my brain. Yeah. Uh,

Anyway, she got a couple dozen for me. I will eat the fucking hell out of eggs.

I really am getting hungry now. I’m like, starting to think up all this crazy shit to eat.

Man.

But yeah, I’m just, I’m just laying here, you know, it’s not that I’m really bored. I’m just I’m I’ve got that caffeine all stirring and my body is being lazy. Cleaned my room up. I talked about that, right? Yeah. And I did all my laundry. I don’t have any dirty clothes right now.

I want to eat that spicy pork stew

Oh my goodness.

I’m just thinking though, it’s like I have enough stuff to get me through. Um, I have lots of SpaghettiOs. I’m pretty sure I have enough to get me through till Wednesday.

1 thing that I do. Um, A lot of times if I don’t have money in the cafeteria, I will just get stuff and not pay for it and then pay for it later. When I have money, I always pay for it later though. I never Like steal it, you know.

When I worked at the second car factory, I did that.

Especially when they went to paying us every 2 weeks it was like shit.

I’m hungry. Sometimes, I would just talk to the people and they would be like, hey, yeah. You can totally just get that and pay for it later.

You got to eat, you know?

Oh my gosh. What else can I talk about? I don’t

I don’t know. My voice is really out of shape. It’s sad.

I really, really, really got to quit smoking. I mean I have been smoking a lot less. I don’t know.

My greatest asset, as far as music and shit goes is my voice.

And my crazy imagination that comes up with these fucking lyrics, the songs that I come up with are so fucking crazy.

And I have so many I have like I have to categorize them. There’s like the stuff that I play. Uh, that I would actually get out and perform live that, you know? Um,

I would actually, like associate. My name and who I am with. It’s like yeah, this is my stuff and then there’s a whole bunch of other music. That pops in my head, it’s the craziest shit. There’s like I have these uh

I don’t know what to call them concept projects. Things it’s like I have like these whole albums worth of songs.

Um, they’re like

There’s somebody else’s songs if that makes sense and then I have co-worker songs, which are borderline, you know, stuff that I wouldn’t mind playing for people, but then it’s like some of that, shit’s pretty

Mean, yeah, I don’t. You know, I do my best and I get along with everybody for the most part but sometimes I just can’t.

Some people are just impossible, you know, and uh if it’s bad enough, I’ll end up to deal with the stress of Of it. I will make up a fucking song about it about them and I did that I worked at a warehouse How long did I work there, November December January, February 4 months. Yeah, I worked at this warehouse and uh, I got a couple of co-worker songs out of that. I got about 6 co-worker songs out of the chicken plant last year and I got

About a dozen out of the second car factory. Yep.

And because I was there for a year and a month, At least a dozen, you know, it was

Ridiculous. I don’t know, but I was just thinking I got to record all this stuff. Why am I not recording like, why am I not?

Plugged in to my stuff.

Recording. I’m just Blabbering into my phone. Haha

Ah, that’s okay. You know, I’m really just

Resting, you know, I’ve got a big long, crazy week again, next week.

7:34 PM
But I really do like my new job. Oh, gosh. It already changed timestamps. So that means I’m talking, I’ve been talking for a while. Um, Shit, what else?

I remember when I lived in The Farmhouse, uh, it was 2021, and I did actually start recording regularly all that stuff’s on another computer that needs a power supply. Oh man technology. Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost 10 years of my life.

Like I blinked and then the world. All of a sudden it’s like what? I don’t know. Yeah, I think like from like

I think I’m like, it’s like I feel like I’m stuck. Maybe in like,

2010. Or something. Maybe.. Or, uh, you know, somewhere in 2014

I don’t know. I’m stuck somewhere else. Yeah. In another time and then it hits me. It’s like it’s 2025 I used to do this, uh, music.

Group called project. Oh, and I was the keyboard player and the producer. The other 2 Guys basically just showed up. But uh you know, we had a lot of fun. We made some really interesting music. And it was all improvised. But Today is the birthday of the third element. He was our bass player, primarily the bass player, and he played some other shit sometimes. Uh, we had my friend Eric

On vocals. It was mostly like spoken, word stuff with modulated effects. Like he had a a harmonizer and a chorus and a delay.

That he would, just fuck with and got all kind of crazy, sounds out of it. Sounded so cool. And then, you know, my synthesizer stuff was just Crazy. And uh, but He and I were like, 28, 29 years old when we were doing this and the dude,

He was 17 when we started doing this stuff, okay?

Today’s his birthday, and he’s 35, and that hit me. It’s like, I can’t believe he’s 35 fucking years old. You know, I remember when he turned 18, it was like geez.

You know, we’re letting this kid play music with us, you know? Haha But he was it was a lot of fun. Yeah, it just Time has just

Zipped the fuck away from me really bad. Like I just

I don’t know if it’s like that for everybody, but I just I just it’s hard for me to believe it’s 2025 and Like my parents are, you know, well my mom’s gone but like my dad is just in his 70s. He’s old as shit looking and all my aunts. The last time I saw them was back in August of last year, at my step cousin’s memorial service.

And um, Oh gosh, and even some of my older cousins, you know they’re all like pushing 50 in their 50s you know. Like now it’s like

1 of my cousins. Who’s like my biggest hero cousin, he turned 49 this year and I can’t. I just can’t, you know. It’s like god dude.

And then my kids are growing up too. My daughter is a about to be 14. And that is so crazy, you know?

Because this is like, she’s She’s like a little grown-up now.

And my son’s getting bigger. And,

But I’ve looked the same haha, pretty much for the last like, fucking 10 years, really? Yeah, it’s kind of funny. I don’t know, Yeah, I’m just existing

Really, really want to go finish off that stew, but then it’s like, man, then you’re going to have to wash The pot.

You could make a sandwich. I could make a sandwich. Yeah, this is my brain talking to me about it. It’s like, hey,

But yeah uh that’s what I did. That was my point in 2021 at that farmhouse, When I was recording a lot, you know, I would have some downtime when I did house Remodeling I mean we might work for 2 months straight without a day off and then be off for 2 or 3 weeks. And I would just like all day long, I would. Pound coffee. And fucking, um, Just pace around. I’d record something. And then I’d make a blog post and it’s all in my other blog. I’m going to link to it eventually. I’m just uh I don’t know.

But sometimes I would make 4 blog posts a day. And in between, um, you know, recording and stuff because it would take so much energy out of me, especially to do the vocals that was. That’s the That’s the hard part. That’s the

For me, always the most intense, you know, part because I’m a vocalist primarily Yeah. I mean, I can play everything, you know, all your standard band instruments.

But um, I’m primarily a vocalist, I’m a songwriter yeah. And uh,

I had a nervous breakdown, nervous, fucking breakdown. Um at the end of this 1 Song, It was horrible. And uh,

It was 1 of those things. Like it was good that like we had a lot of downtime Yeah. With uh I mean I put so much emotion and it was this song about my ex fiance.

I’ve had a handful of nervous breakdowns in my life, you know. They suck. Yeah.

Oh my God.

Well, I don’t know. Um, I feel like I’ve just talked and talked and talked, but it feels good to get it out. And not talk about a whole bunch of crazy shit. And just be like, hey,

The normal parts of my life. Yeehaw!

Thank you, please.