SUNDAY AGA I N

5:32 PM
Well, hey

I don’t know. I’m thinking about.

Falling asleep.

Haha.

Yeah, I got to work like an hour earlier than I thought I was supposed to be there and then um

We did about 45 minutes worth of stuff and they sent us home. So, I basically got

Paid for 8 hours. Yeah. Uh,

I worked 1 hour. Yeah, and got paid for 8. Yes.

I still haven’t done my chores, I just Ate the rest of my fucking. Spicy pork. Soup. It’s so good. It was so good, but it’s gone.

And then there’s uh, I have

Wait a minute.

No, I only have 1 can Yeah, shit. I have sandwiches though.

I’ll be fine.

I have plenty of food, but barely. That doesn’t mean I have plenty of food, right? That means I have just enough food.

I made a post earlier, and I went way, way way way off the deep end and it’s like, I can’t help it. Sometimes, I’m really Trying to get better about.

Crazy stuff. It sucks.

I had a lot of crazy stuff happen to me the last couple of years. And I just, you know, I had a lot of stuff, a lot of crazy stuff happened to me before that, I was just getting over and then it, Happened again.

Hopefully though. You know, it’s all starting to get better. I really

Really miss my kids.

Feel. I feel really disconnected from everything right now and it sucks.

I used to not be like this you know I used to be a lot more normal.

I used to like, I don’t care about myself like a normal person does. It’s really weird and, um,

I just didn’t think I would live this long. I’ve made some terrible decisions.

But you know what?

I am. Yeah. I have been alive this long and I just don’t ever think about it until You know, like right now it’s just kind of hits me. I tried to play Neverwinter Nights earlier but the servers are down. I don’t know if it’s the weather or what the fuck. It’s just like everything’s down right now on that. And it’s only that

Like everything, like the normal internet stuff is working. It’s just the 1 game, I play, I was

Probably.

I don’t know.

I thought about making another character, but then it’s like, do I really want to invest how much time do I really want to invest in that?

It’s fun but Jesus Christ. I just don’t really I just don’t have the enthusiasm for video games anymore. I’ve mentioned that in a post like last night or something.

And social media is getting to be the same way. I mean, it’s been like that. For me, for a couple of years, like Facebook.

I just I don’t know. I was looking through my news feed earlier and the way they have everything set up is so stupid. Now, I get like regularly, you know, just a bunch of crap. I don’t know where it comes from and then there’s an option. You can look at your friends you know, feed now and

They need to keep like the stories in the little story bar at the top, instead of jumbling it all up. Oh yeah. My daughter just texted me that she loves me that makes me really happy. God, I miss my kids.

I just miss them so much.

Oh, she even drew me. A little picture.

Yeah.

Yay.

They’re the best people ever made. Yep, and

I just feel like, I guess that’s another thing because I was talking about,

In the last post. I just made it a draft. I don’t know how Talk about going off the deep end on crazy shit, but it’s like, I didn’t get to see my kids on a regular basis for about a year because

I got driven.

Really fucking crazy by a chick and

It sucks. I don’t really know what to uh,

I don’t really know what to say about that right now. Yeah, it’s

It’s affected a lot of things. It really disrupted my life.

You know. I’m not really.

I don’t feel like talking about it, but, you know,

It happened. And so like it’s just it’s totally also just Zapped. Like my enthusiasm for social media like it’s just not the same anymore. It used to be fun. You know, it was like a fun little outlet for me. I would post. You know, whatever popped in my head if I was happy or sad it’s like hey everybody. And uh, I don’t get the same amount of like

Stuff as I used to, I used to get, you know. I used to be kind of popular. Yeah. Um, I talked about that already. I’ve said that already, I think, in the last post,

Yeah, I just I’m ready to get back to like being my kids dad. On a regular basis. You know, I need a car for that.

My daughter is an actor and she gives lots of performance as she’s in like a lot of different programs. And they do stuff all the time. And my son is really active in sports. He’s the fastest kid in his school.

And it’s like,

I’m just, You know, I didn’t

I don’t know why shit happens to me like that. It’s like,

All I cared about. That’s all I cared about, you know? It’s just trying to get my shit together.

That’s been like,

Something, you know, I’ve been trying to do ever since I got divorced.

And, I can’t win for losing, you know, But hopefully, though maybe hopefully, yeah, I’ve

I’m on the right track. Again, I hope

But uh, it is like

I think I’m just having a, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me right now. I shouldn’t be sad. Hell, I had a pretty good day. I went to work, it was easy. I didn’t have to really do a lot. And then, you know, I got paid for a whole day’s worth of work.

It really wasn’t anything. It was actually a great thing.

It’s going to be on my next check. And I think that I’m working next Saturday, which is awesome.

But yeah, if I get a car, this week, everything is going to be like. That’s the first thing I’m going to do is go see my kids. Probably not the day that I have a car like, you know, but I might Thank you fucking app, crazy app.

I don’t know. I love making blog posts.

I guess, I just haven’t.

I need to work on music. There’s a lot of stuff I can be doing instead of laying here, but I’m, I really am kind of tired, and I did just eat a whole bunch, and it’s not a bad thing to rest.

I mean.

Holy shit, you know?

But my appetite has been insane lately.

You know, it it has

Like I ate this big bowl of soup earlier and then I was still hungry. And I mean like an hour ago, okay, wasn’t an hour ago. No, it was like

3:00, it was like 2:00 going to have a half hour ago.

2 and a half hours ago.

Oh, I’m getting tired. Oh blah.

Yeah, and then I just ate like a another full meal again.

I’m going to text my daughter back.

Yay. Thank you, please!