TUESDAY AFTEERNOOMN

2:53 PM
Oh my goodness.

I know.

I woke up about.

Shit, almost 2 hours ago now.

I’m really tired.

Sometimes it doesn’t really seem to matter or how much I work out or Feel like I might be used to Night Shift

You know, like work, you know?

Haha, it’s like someday. It’s

Some days. It’s fucking just, I’m really exhausted.

Especially on night shifts. Always get crappy sleep on Night Shift.

Hell though. Let’s see. I was asleep by like 6:00 a.m.

I slept till like 1,

Yeah, that’s around 7 hours of sleep, I got it, I had some crazy dreams but I don’t remember them.

It was like this time uh, last year, I was.

Homeless. Yeah, I had just taken my mom.

Uh, to my sister’s.

Yep.

And I was looking At my Facebook memories, right? And um, I was like dang in 4 years ago is when I had just finished the assessment test for the first car factory. I guess I haven’t really been talking much about where I worked but that’s where I work again. Yeah, it took an act of God for me to be able to come back.

To this job, but it was so crazy. I wish I would have never left.

You know, I could have done without that whole fucking bunch of shit that happened with Brittany.

Oh, all it did was make me even more screwed up and uh, I got some really cool songs out of it that fuck who cares, you know? I didn’t get to see my kids on a regular basis for a year because she drove me so crazy.

And I just let her get away with it, you know. I mean, I guess nobody really ever gets away with anything but it’s like, Seeing her drive past my storage unit Saturday. It’s but you know, what am I going to do? I mean I’m not going to do anything awful.

It’s just Like gosh.

I never liked anybody that much and that’s 1 reason why she got away with it. That’s the only reason really.

It’s funny though, because a lot of times, you know, Like just how weird I am about everything. A lot of times that’ll show me just what kind of people I’m dealing with. And uh, it’s like wow, yeah. Okay.

Because not, everybody’s all that great. I mean there’s a lot of really awesome people in the world though. I mean there are there’s some great people.

I’ll work with some really great people and, um, I just think about

Like gosh, there are the people I worked with at Target were really great. And uh, but there are some awful fucking people out there though. Really.

Really awful people.

But there’s more great people.

Most people are most people are fucking great. Honestly, they just want to live and be happy.

There’s nothing wrong with having a normal you know regular life that’s actually pretty good. That’s a good life.

Just wish I had a girlfriend.

But I mean, I don’t make the effort. I don’t talk to people and I hide from everything. I’ve hid from every chick at work who’s shown interest in me?

Yeah. It’s like, you know, and the only reason that I would even think about getting mixed up with anyone from work is because we would be on the same schedule. And that’s cool. You know, it’s like hey we’re both on night shift, we’re both on day shift. Haha

I don’t know. Maybe I should try to talk to helmet, girl. Because uh I haven’t I didn’t see her yesterday. Yeah, although

Um, that doesn’t really mean anything.

Because she seems like a really sweet person, you know. Yeah. I just I worry about my daughter hating. Anybody?

Yeah, but then it’s like, you know, she wouldn’t if they were decent people.

Awful. God I’m tired. As hell. Yeah, holy shit. I just wanted to make a post But I miss my kids more than I wish. I had a girlfriend and you know for real like I wish I could just spend more time with my kids.

But I have to get up and get a shower and get some food. Because I went to sleep without eating. Again, that’s what I did all last week.

I was so tired. I went to the gym after work. Usually I go to the gym before work and after work and before work I just kind of warm up you know it really makes a huge difference. And after work is, when I do all the crazy shit, but I just didn’t have it in me this morning. I did 200 reps with the fucking 5 pound weights, which is usually a lot that’s just, I guess getting started with that. And uh, I did the treadmill for 15 minutes and I did like

I might have done 150 reps on the bench press with like 30 and 45 pounds. And it’s like, that’s it. That was it. So, I probably spent

I don’t even think I spent 30 minutes in the gym.

And then I drove home.

I’m getting kind of low on money though. Um,

Because I had to get that part. I’m going to have to pay my rent late and I’m trying to have into Tell my roommate that I was like, it’s just going to be like the the next Wednesday is going to be like a just a little late or something not like

3 weeks later or anything. And then I get my bonus, I get paid next week and then I get my bonus. And then I get, um,

Paid again. And then it’s Thanksgiving, which is my favorite holiday.

Oh my goodness.

I don’t know, I guess I feel like helmet girl hates me because um, I’ve hid from her and ran away so many times, you know,

Of course, that might not matter especially if I got to talk to her, and she realizes that I’m just

An idiot. You know, I’m not like an asshole. Yeah.

A lot of times, they’ll forgive being stupid, a lot more than they. Well, they usually don’t forgive you for being an asshole.

Depends, I don’t know.

But a lot of the chicks, I worked with at the chicken plant last year have been popping up. Um, I am friends with 1 of them on my alternate account.

And I’m just like, dude you you can’t go back, you know.

Plus they all live in like Fort Payne, you know.

I don’t know and then it’s like stop being stupid. I haven’t really found anybody that’s like up to my standards and that’s kind of the thing that I learned really hard. About like the post divorce. You know, phase was uh I can’t compromise those standards or it just is going to be

A pile of fucking retarded bulshit.

So yeah, I would love to find somebody though who listens to the same kind of music as I do. Yeah, at least who knows? Like Like who Jonathan Richman is. Or uh, likes French.

I think the French Club is supposed to have their meetings. Oh my gosh.

I’m gonna miss it, I think it’s Thursday or it might have been last Thursday.

There’s 1 chick from the Huntsville. French club who has been popping up on the people. I may know.

And uh,

She would be really cool if she’s even single though.

Yeah, I totally missed it.

Last week.

Apparently only 5 people went.

The first 1 uh, that I went to there were like 20 people there.

And then the second 1, there wasn’t, but maybe a handful but I think then there was a couple that were just

You know, 30 something people and then like some would be like 10 people. Uh, of course, I can’t do anything like that when I’m on night shift.

Oh, come on. It’s the first and third Thursdays of every month. I’m trying to see. Of course, I think. Well, let’s see. Let’s look at November.

Last week. Wait next week, haha is the last week of uh, night shift. Thank God.

So, I’m going to miss that 1.

But maybe I can make it to the 1 on the 20th of November.

Yeah.

I don’t know. But yeah, that chick seemed really cool. She got like would Um, we might actually have stuff in common and I have to keep reminding myself of that. It’s like dude.

You’re too weird. For like regular co-workers, you know, factory worker, people even Brittany, like she was like the most basic fucking chick ever. She didn’t look like it. Yeah, she looked like an alien from another planet, but she had just the most

Plain.

White bread. Fucking basic tastes in everything. Even her sense of humor and the memes, she would post it’s like

Just,

Bland.

Not totally uninteresting. Not even funny. You know, she just looked weird. It was the craziest thing, the juxtaposition between how she looked and like, how she actually was Kind of scared of the shit out of me too but then how she acted was even more scary. I don’t know. I would really like to get to a point where I don’t ever talk about her. I mean, that happened with my ex fiance. Eventually, like, I never talk about her anymore, like, hardly at all. Unless I’m comparing it to something.

Um, but yeah. Oh jeez.

It’s picking up everything. So stupid.

But I need to wrap this up and get a shower and I’m thinking, I’m going to go to Sam’s Club and get a hot dog and I need to get

Some caffeine like a case of something.

I don’t know if I’m going to get coffee drinks or if I’m going to get

Those Aulani. Yeah Um, I might get those. And then I might get, I might just get a damn case of monsters. I don’t fucking know or Red Bulls.

I don’t know. I need to get another case of soup. I’ve been eating lunch in my car, but I’ve been eating. Soup. God. They had just bullshit in the cafeteria last night and I’m like, well, you know, I really don’t need to spend the money.

Because the cafeteria it’s really good on day shift, but on nights, it is just garbage.

Awful.

Yeah.

A really.

Yeah, really, just need to just study languages. I just need to shut up. And stop worrying about like crap and and just get back to studying French and Spanish. Because those are probably the only 2 other languages. I’ll ever achieve any kind of fluency in

Anytime soon anyways, but I love them, you know? Yeah. I was just thinking I was thinking about the French Club and I was thinking about that chick and I was like, you know, If I saw her out somewhere like I think she lives in Madison, Uh I would be like bonjour, you know? And then it’s like well where do I go from there? Because you know, it’s like fuck. I just said a bunch of crap in French. I said, I forget all the words, damn it. Yeah.

French is my favorite language.

For like art and music and shit. But Spanish is my favorite language to make up songs in.

3:13 PM
I love Spanish so much.

Yeah, I think I need to just get back on my languages, get back on language studies and you know, music and art and You know.

It’s like when I have money, I get the kids and when I don’t have money, I need to just focus on. You know, that shit. And,

I’ll meet somebody eventually, but it would be cool to like talk to that. Like, I’m not going to send her a friend request though. Because even though she’s been popping up on the people, I may know. I don’t I’m just not going to do it. Yeah, I’d rather it be like You know, I see her in person again and talk to her and then add her. Or something. Yeah. Haha

Oh, yay.

Thank you, please.