TUESDAY MORNING

3:57 AM

Okay, yeah, I’m driving to work. I just uh, I got up about 1:30 or something.

And,

Decided I would do my chores. Yep.

And I did, I finished up my chores. 

I fell asleep.

Last night about 6 and woke up about 7:30 fell back asleep, woke up about 9:00, I think. And uh the roommate, the new roommate chick was playing guitar and singing in a room. In her room. Haha Yeah, and I was like well, you know, she’s got a really beautiful singing voice. Like I said, she does remind me of a cross between my friend Natalie and my ex fiance But uh, I was sweeping the floor this morning and the boss lady roommate came down and carrying a box and I was like, hey, what are you okay? It’s you know, because it was 2 a.m. and she was like, oh yeah, there’s an eclipse and we’re going to do witchy stuff and her friend that I dug the holes for was over there and she won’t even look at me either. It’s weird. She used to be all like hey at me all the time every time Like I saw her and now she’s like she gets weird when I’m around, it’s probably because they were supposed to call me back. To do a whole bunch of stuff and they never did. I mean, that’s the what I was talking about like flaky ass fucking people. All the flaky fucking people. I met yeah while I have been living there, like You know, but my roommate’s different Yeah, she really is she’s like you know, she’s the boss.

You know, but like, I don’t really know so much about the rest of them.

Oh my God. I haven’t talked about her friend that she that used to pet sit. Uh, she doesn’t the last time. She was out of town. She didn’t have her come over. Thank Goodness. Haha But uh back I think this was like back before I got this car. Maybe April of last year. Yeah it was. When my roommate was still taking me back and forth to work. Um I got up at like 3:00 a.m. and walked downstairs and she had set a trap for me. Hahaha I don’t know what she got into her head, but You know, and it’s not the first time A lady has done this to me. Yeah. But uh, I walked downstairs. There’s no way she didn’t hear me coming down the stairs, you know. She did this on purpose. I don’t know if she thought I was going to just jump on her or something, but I turned the corner and just glanced over at her and she was had her legs spread out with her, like big Oh my gosh, like she had her hand in her red panties like down in her panty she had her panties on and she was just going at it, really aggressively you know? Haha And she gave me a look, I mean, looked at me like, with a Burning Lust like it was about the beginning of a porn or something. And I just thought,

Nope. Haha Yeah. And I just turned my head trying to ignore it and all of a sudden, she’s like, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just like, I don’t even I went outside and smoked and I was like, I’m not even acknowledging that in my brain. And it was it’s been really awkward ever since the yeah ever since ever since that like every time she comes over, it’s like awkward as fuck. Yeah. But I haven’t seen her in a few months thank goodness

But uh you know instead of like what’s so funny, is that she would have talked to me like a person.

If she would just been like hey you know it might have went that direction. But uh, you know, I just, I don’t know her, you know what I mean? Like I don’t know what kind of fucking crazy shit she was going to, she would try to put on me afterwards because of that, you know.

God. Like, I just don’t. I mean I was looking through her Facebook page before that happened because We like I talked to her earlier and I was just like you know she seems pretty cool. You know, but I don’t know like I’m really selective like with my dating standards and stuff. Anyways, and she just isn’t my type. But, But, uh, I don’t know. I just wasn’t going to Engage in that whatsoever. So but I mean that’s the kind of people I’ve met. Yeah, from like since I’ve been living up here, you know, So I mean, yeah, that that that’s a, that’s a good example. Those are 2 really good examples. Hahaha

I don’t know, uh, but I walked out going to work and My roommates and her friend were all like, hanging out outside. They were talking and laughing. They weren’t doing witchy stuff. I think that part was over. I guess, I don’t know. But um,

I don’t know, it’s like, whatever. Yeah, my voice is doing better. Like my, you know what? That’s the thing. Like, once I’ll make my mind up like I want to go to the doctor or something and uh,

Then all of a sudden, like I’ll get better.

The change in the weather and stuff. You know that that like that’ll make me sick again it’ll it’s been like hot and cold and hot and cold like the whole month of February. But my voice feels better right now. Yeah. I don’t know. I just felt like making a post I guess before work. I hope they have stuff out at the uh Sprint. Mart. Not Sprint. Mart the race track. Yeah.

I probably should have ate hot dogs.

But I’ll save my hot dogs for this afternoon. I was going to say tomorrow, but now, I’m on day shift. So everything is like, it’s regular again. This whole month is going to be regular. Hahaha. Yeah.

Oh man, it’s going to be a 6 day work week this week. Yeah, I’ve got to work Saturday. The thing about that is my next check will be pretty good. And that’ll be great.

But I have to save my money. You know, I really do like, I really do need to like You know, if I if I don’t move out like by the summer or something I mean just like sometime this year or maybe at the end of the year or something, you know. I don’t know. But, Man. Yeah.

I think I’m going to go to the gym.

This is what I’m going to do.

I’m going to work out for.

I don’t know for a little bit. I did a little bit of stuff on my way, like before I left the house, But, I really need to get some 12-pound dumbbells. That’s like a good weight. Uh for reps, uh, until I can build myself back up to where I can do heavy weights again. Yeah, I don’t know. I might look into doing that this weekend.

I was trying to think how I can rearrange the stuff in my room to put a weight bench in there, because I need that. I really do.

Yeah.

The only thing I really like I can’t do at my house is the treadmill and the treadmill, you know, that’s, I’ve got a whole fucking neighborhood of shit. I could walk around in So, uh, Yeah, I probably should just utilize that.

Right? Yeah.

Um, I don’t know, I’m in a different kind of mood today than I was yesterday. I don’t know a lot of it. I think it’s cuz I was out of it. I was just thinking about, you know, I get I sometimes I just get the thinking about worst case scenario, you know.

Just,

I don’t know.

I don’t know. Part of me like, Just like, I, guess I do want a girlfriend but then I don’t Right now I just don’t feel like I’m in like the place. Then I’ve said this before. Yeah. Uh Like a woman right now, could affect my life in such a way like she could totally change the course of my life right now. And I don’t know that I’m where I want to be, uh, where I want to let that, you know, let somebody in Like, I want to get further along uh, with my music and stuff, which I’ve been doing pretty good. I did a lot of stuff this weekend recording and everything. It was I was proud of that.

But uh yeah, I don’t know, I ain’t going to be worth a fuck this week.

Really cuz it’s rotation week. But I don’t know what else to say, Jesus. Like, I don’t really feel negative about anything at the moment. I just miss my kids.

Oh, I just miss my babies so much. Shit

Yeah, I do.

Passing the airport right here.

I have the last time I was on a plane was when I met my ex fiance and somebody read uh 2 articles yesterday from October the 19th. And I don’t know if that was her or not cuz those are very specific. That’s a very specific date. It’s the date. I met her. Yeah, and I know she stalks my fucking shit all the time too.

You know.

Well, maybe not all the time but sometimes. Yeah.

I don’t know, my ex-wife had an appendix an appendectomy. Yeah, uh gosh, was it Saturday? Or yes Sunday, I guess.

And then that worries me I mean I guess she’s okay, she said it’d be okay but

Uh she told me, it wasn’t as bad as all the Cosmetic Surgery stuff she’s had and that kind of threw me for a loop, a little bit. That she gets stuff like that done and she gets Botox and lip filler and shit. And she like posts about it, and she made a post, like, promoting like a, some kind of Valentine’s Day package.

Oh, we’re just like you get.

I can’t remember. It was like 50 shots of Botox or something. I don’t know how all that works. It was something like that and I was like dang.

You know, like we really didn’t Like what the hell, how did we even? Like, While we were like, gosh, you know, like Her and I were just so not even.

Close to like,

I just don’t know how we would stay together for 18 years. I just said all makes sense like after the fact while I always felt like, you know, there was something off about it. But uh, I just I loved her so much that I stuffed all that, you know, down and I did, I fucking

Gosh. Like it just wasn’t it? It’s I still can’t have a. I still can’t process it. Fully How, um,

I have no idea. Yeah like how her and I were together we we were we were supposed to make the kids And that I think that was it, you know? But gosh, shit. Yeah.

Well, I mean because like if I met her now, You know, if we just like met who I am now and who she is now, like I wouldn’t be interested in her at all. We would probably still be friends though

You. Know it’s just crazy. It’s like dang, well, it’s Where’s my?

There’s somebody driving down the damn interstate without their headlights on, but I care about her. Like I care about her so much,

4:11 AM
It made me cry. Yeah. When I uh, when my daughter told me she had her, she had an appendicitis. She’s got to have, she has gallstones too, and of course I had my gallbladder taken out. 12 years ago. It’s It’s fine and all I just, I don’t know. I still a really big part of me. Still loves her like a whole bunch. She’s the kid’s mom and I don’t want anything bad to ever, ever, ever happen to her. I want her to be happier than she’s ever been in her life and just be, you know, I want her to be happy and Everything be great for her forever. And I want her to live to be like a hundred. Yeah. Cuz if something I don’t know, if anything ever happened to my ex-wife, It would be like,

I, I don’t know. It would really, really fuck me up if she died or something it would like gosh. Like I don’t even want to think about I don’t want to talk about that anymore. Yeah, but oh my goodness, I hope the racetrack. I just I’m pulling into the race track gas station. I hope they have some kind of something out. They’ve been really crappy like last week. You know, I’d get off work. Hell, I’d get off work at fucking, you know, 5:00 some mornings and come up here, and they wouldn’t have Jack shit out.

Yeah, it’s stupid. But I’m here and I’ve talked a whole bunch. And this will give me something to edit on the treadmill, I guess, hahaha.

Thank you, please.