WEDNESDAY YEEHAW

4:12 AM
Okay, let’s make a post. Oh my gosh. I was going to do 1 yesterday. I’m just I’ve been way too negative. Lately, and it sucks. And I’m sorry. I mean like this whole year is negative negativity.

And I’m I’m not going to do that in this post, I’m going to be positive. I think, you know, most of it is, I miss my kids. And I’m tired and my job and my body hurts. And, you know, I wish I had a girlfriend. But I miss my kids more than I wish. I had a girlfriend.

And, you know, there’s the whole bunch of chicks from work. Who pop up? On the people, I may know all the time, and that drives me crazy because I’ll be like, scrolling through some stuff and then, like, you know, blam suggested for you. Uh, and here’s all these chicks from work and it’s like, yeah, I know, I see them and they all started popping up, after I joined the Facebook group and I do, I post in there, I post funny things and I comment crazy weird funny things that nobody else thinks to say or thinks And I get a lot of uh, laugh reacts. Yeah, it’s really funny. It’s like who’s this wacky dude? And uh, people will come up to me and and like, try to like cuz I’m so weird. They try to like They just want me to notice them. It’s funny. It’s like High School. Yeah, it’s like high school all over again.

And that’s how it was in high school. I was like super I was really popular. I was this crazy weird artist guitar player and after I played the talent show in 11th grade, everybody knew who I was. And it’s funny and, uh, that’s the same thing. And it, it, it it stressed me out and it freaked me out. Just like it does here. I can’t, I try to keep to myself. I didn’t make, you know, chicks would always come up around me. They would walk in front of me to get me to look at them and Stuff it’s just silly, you know? Yeah but that’s uh That’s kind of how it is in a factory too.

Also yeah. Uh but I get paid today.

Thank God. Uh I only have to work half a day tomorrow. Oh my gosh. Then my daughter has her band concert. And that is going to be fun.

My son has a ball game.

Saturday. So I thought I would just like, go down there and get him for supper, but my daughter was, like, no way. Like, we, we want to stay like, Saturday night. We want to spend Saturday the whole day and night with you, and I was like, wow, okay well we got to figure out what we’re going to do.

And that’s what I’m going to figure out this afternoon after I get paid and get off work. I’m going to message my daughter and figure out what we’re going to do this weekend. We might come up here. You know, we might

Or we might go stay in Rome.

Or in Hoover but you know we probably we might just come up here.

Yeah.

Go fishing.

I don’t know what else to say. I got around earlier today than I did yesterday.

Really, I need to get out, get up and around and get out of the house by 4 and then get up here to work and go to the gym before the gym girl gets in there. Haha. She gets in there at 5 and you know, I wish I could just like, pick 1 of these chicks and just talk to them. You know, I do. I just, I don’t know. I got 1 in my brains right now, it’s the 1. I didn’t talk to, it’s been a month ago that I saw at the RaceTrac gas station. And like that’s the thing. There’s not a, there’s nothing wrong with any of those girls. They’re the most beautiful sweetest ladies I’ve ever seen in the whole universe. I love all of them so much, like, so very, very much.

And that just I mean that’s just how it is.

It freaks me out. So bad though that I just

I do nothing and I don’t go in the cafeterias anymore for lunch.

I hide just like I did in high school. Yep.

And then the first chick who came along that could actually hold a conversation and was interesting to me. Uh, I married her.

Ha, yeah, and had the kids. We had those kids. 18 years, you know? And I still cry about

My ex-wife. Yeah, I still cry about my ex-wife.

Sometimes not all the time. Not like every day or anything but Well, I was uh, I think it was Saturday. No, it was Sunday. Yeah. I was like I didn’t have anything to do. So I was just like Resting and poking around on the Internet working on music. And, you know, I was just flipping through all the looking at all the pictures of the chicks that I’ve loved. You know, and none of them really evoke an emotional response anymore except my ex-wife. Yeah, not even Brittany like a little bit but it’s just like dang, you know?

She’s finally starting to get to where my ex fiance is. Where I don’t ever think about her. Like I have to the the only time I think about her is when I realized that I haven’t been thinking about her. It’s like, oh yeah. I haven’t thought about Brittany at all. And that’s great. That means it’s

That’s a really great thing. Yeah.

Because it took, I think it took longer for me. I’m trying to think it’s a, it took a long time for me to get over that it has taken Yeah, a long time to get over Brittany.

To get like, yeah, or what happened with Brittany, I guess. And, uh, it’s stupid. And I’m not going to talk about it anymore.

Because I’ve talked about it enough, I think. Well, what else can I talk about? Because I’m almost to work now. Thank goodness. I’m going to be rolling in there about

4:30 and getting to the gym, I’ll get my workout done because I only work out for. I do about it takes about 15 minutes to do the weights, To do my 500 reps. And then the uh, bench press thing, and then about 10 minutes on the treadmill.

And, Yeah, that’s that’s my whole workout in the mornings. I still haven’t been able to bring myself. I was so exhausted. Yesterday when I got off work, I just I couldn’t my knee hurts.

My right knee because I ran too hard after this chick who left her badge. She left her badge. I don’t know why I did. It’s that. Team lead girl who used to drive me so crazy? Yeah.

Yeah, I had a huge stupid crush on her and, uh, she’s mean, And I’m afraid she would send me to The psych ward. Yep. And uh I also think she’s kind of a tweaker. And stuff. I don’t know what else she does, but there’s a reason why she forgets her badges and shit like, like I don’t know, probably a dozen times, I have gone out and met her running back in because she forgot something. But, you know, like I wish because she’s in her mid-30s You know, early mid-30s, she’s

Like supermodel, hot. And, you know, she’s she’s kind of like If you can tell though that she’s done some living, Hahaha. But you know, she’s got her. Looks like she in a lot of ways probably has her shit together. I mean she’s a team lead. And uh,

Man. Oh man, I just don’t think we would make a good couple. I think she would torture me to death or something. I think it would. Oh my God, I just

You know, otherwise I would have I would have asked her out already. Yeah, I know. It’s She scares me I guess more than any of the other ones that’s That’s kind of what I mean. Like, Brittany scared me.

Cuz that was like. Uh, it was like a visceral Fucking instinctive like intuitive reaction with Brittany. It’s like she’s going to make me blow my brains out and I can’t really do that. You know, I have to live here as long as I can for the kids.

I miss my kids so much and I guess, you know, I mean, I got a lot of fun stuff coming up this month. You know, with the kids, my daughter’s birthday and all that. Everything. So, um, yeah.

I don’t know that. I feel like the tone of this post is is a is a lot better. Yeah than uh, Monday’s post.

So hopefully, I can keep up a, a more positive attitude.

I hate being sad and depressed and negative. Hello.

Yeah, I was watching this uh, Facebook reel. With David Lynch.

And he was talking about how, you know suffering, like you can’t do anything if you’re fucking depressed and suffering and it impedes creativity, and it does. I cannot do anything when I’m depressed. Ah, like when I’m sad and and angry or, you know, any of that, any kind of all the negativity, when it’s eating me up, I can’t create. The best thing I can do is make blog posts bitching about it. It’s like it’s so fucking stupid.

But here I am turning into uh, The work turning into work. The, the drive, the road that leads to the parking lot of work.

Oh man. Yeah this job. This is the hardest Factory job overall that I’ve ever had. But I still like this place and I’m still really grateful to have been able to come back.

Like, You know, I just hope everything I hope like Things get better? Yeah.

I hate a sandwich. I ate a sandwich before I left. So, I’m not starving. Damn, they just all got off work too. It’s like 4:25. And all the cars are leaving the parking lot.

That that’s not a cyber truck.

Anyways, I’m here, I got to go into the gym. Thank you, please.