FRIDAY

Yesterday 5:18 AM


5:17 AM
Well.

It was that time stamp, it’s like

Oh, that must have been when I was editing the other article. Yeah. Okay. Anyways, it’s funny because it’s like I got a round? I got a round a little later. A little later today.

Let’s take an Allegra.

Oh, I went to my daughter’s band concert last night she played the rain stick. The little thing that you shake, you know, that Makes the the little Things. It sounds like rain. She played that for like 2 songs. And, uh, the rest of it was an hour and a half of

Fucking hell, yeah. Haha, literally I got so over stimulated. Some of her friends, stalk my Instagram, and 1 of them was up there and she was just staring at me. And I’m like,

I didn’t know what to do. It’s so I’m just like, you know, I just got way over stimulated and I was sitting next, you know, to my son with my ex-wife. And,

Her husband, and I, you know, I can’t say her new husband anymore because they’ve been married for fucking 7 years. Nearly, Yeah. So

They’ve been together for almost 8.

And uh, we’ve been divorced for almost 8 years. She did she turned around and got remarried like

Oh, there’s too much going on. Yeah. Well, just like right now, my phone alarm went off. I pulled it out of my pocket and it just flung from my hands and Oh my God. But yeah, just way over stimulated last night and it was so bad. That when I took the kids to the Mexican restaurant, I got a margarita and they were like, Dad, what the fuck? I’m like, I don’t care. I am way too. Way too fucking like y’all don’t understand and I didn’t, you know, it was just too much shit.

I had been up since about 2:00 a.m.

And uh, You know, I got home about 11:00 last night, I fell asleep but that’s why I slept in so late because I didn’t get up early Yeah, I got up about 4:30. Yep. And uh, I didn’t even get a shower.

But, I don’t know why I beat myself up so much and hate on myself so much. I really don’t because other people do not see me that way.

I don’t know. It’s It’s kind of crazy. It gives me some kind of weird validation that like you know, all the co-worker chicks and all that shit too. It’s just like, you know, me?

Maybe it is. Yeah, maybe it’s time to really find a girlfriend. Is it though? Because oh my God. The roommate, dude. The furry guy, uh, He messaged me yesterday about playing at this. Uh, he works at this pizza place that has live music that he messaged me about doing that and I never thought in a million years he would ever message me about anything unless he wanted money or something.

Haha. Yeah, so like uh I don’t know.

I’m going to go to the gym after work today because I’m just now starting to get where I can do 100 reps on the bench press. And I don’t want to lose that.

I really ought to get a A gym membership like at a at a real gym. The work gym is good enough and it’s free, you know.

But uh, I think what I’m going to do is just focus on my music. Like I have been my voice is starting to get a little bit better. I’m getting the kids Saturday for an adventure.

I need to just shut up and be happy.

Yeah. God, I just

I never felt like this about myself until I got into business with my dad. Like, I didn’t hate myself like that. It’s so weird. You know, and I analyze it from a logical perspective. It’s like My dad sucks. It’s not my fault. It’s just nothing I ever did was good enough. And I can do a lot of stuff that most people cannot do.

My mom told me a lot of my dad’s problem with me is, Jealousy, it’s not that complicated.

And my dad, you know, he’s Like that movie, There Will Be Blood. That’s my dad that dude is my dad. There’s a competition in him and he wants like you’re either my dad’s a subordinate Or you’re his competition. Well I’m neither 1. I was his son, I say was right? Because I don’t ever hear from my dad anymore, he doesn’t care. And he’s got 1 grand, son. You know, he might see him. Like he never spends any time with my son. He doesn’t do anything. He has 1 grandson, the most awesome.

My son is the most awesome fucking kid ever.

And, you know, he likes to do normal boy stuff. He likes fishing, he likes Sports. You know, and my dad could like, actually

Be a fucking person In his life and uh, you know, he just doesn’t it’s really sorry. Yeah, it’s fucking I mean that kind of really tells me. A lot, it tells me everything I need to know about my dad.

Is yes, he sucks.

And it’s not my fault. That’s my point. It’s not my fault. So yeah.

Anyways, I don’t know. I just Sometimes I hate myself so much. It’s like you can totally read and this blog that You know how much I talk about if it wasn’t for the kids, I would blow my brains out and I’m not just saying that shit, you know, and I have to get that out of my head. And that’s what this blog is for, for the most part, and I took it off Of my Instagram and my fucking

Facebook, because I don’t want.

Anybody from like work or God, forbid. My daughter’s friends fucking to read this shit. It’s like what the hell? Yeah, I know, but I have to leave this up for posterity.

But uh, I don’t know. I just I don’t feel that way about myself right now and that’s great.

I don’t know what else to say. Yeah. It’s just like, dang, I just got way over stimulated last night and

Oh man, I had a headache.

But anyways, um, it’s Friday and hopefully everything will uh be

Great, I’m going to get

I’m going to get to work. Probably about 20 minutes.

And I’m going to eat breakfast.

And hopefully have a great day. You know, my sinuses and everything. My ears are like This has it’s gotten so ridiculous.

Yeah.

But my daughter’s been having the same problems too, like, her sinuses and stuff. Have been messing up.

Well. Um, Yeah, yeah. I guess.

Yay.

Thank you, please.