WEDNESDAY MORNING

4:36 AM
Well, I Just woke up, and

I think it’s funny is all dreams. Dreams are fucking crazy things. I just had a big crazy dream that, um, Was hanging around with my dad and my mom and my dad were still married. It was like, I was a kid. I was like a teenager or something. But I worked where I work now and I was waiting on my bonus check.

And I had to go, uh, to a chicken farm. And change out these water filters. I know it was uh, it’s usually generator stuff. But this was, For water filters. Haha And I had some people working with me and we were trying to find the, uh, water turn off. And we couldn’t find it like The valve, the main valve for the all the water flow, and we kept looking around outside of the chicken house. And I had to call my dad. And the owner of the farm had a bunch of hispanic people working He wasn’t there. And we found this big box that had these exotic slugs and a frog in it and

Uh, but they were like really intelligent. They were from some weird place. And they were trying to get out and we opened the lid, not knowing what was in there thinking, maybe the shut-off valve was in that box. And uh, everything just all rushed out as fast as they could.

And the Slugs.

They all like assimilated themselves into 1 giant slug, it was crazy, and the Frog hopped away and they communicated to me, telepathically that they were really glad to be out of that box because the Frog was eating them.

But now they were too big for the frog to eat. They couldn’t assimilate into a bigger slug Inside the Box.

And they were grateful and I thought well, that guy’s going to be really mad when he comes back and sees all his slugs gone. Haha

And Brittany was in another part of my dream and it was the craziest. Like usually she’s just somewhere else or just Out Of Reach but not in this dream. Yeah, it got really graphic. Yes like Oh gosh. Okay, it was like dang.

I’ve never had a dream like that about her before and the last time I had a bunch of crazy dreams about her. She had unblocked me on Facebook. And she hadn’t uh, after this, like I just that’s the first thing I checked when I woke up.

But uh I don’t know. Twin flame stuff. I don’t.

Talk about that shit in depth anymore. It’s it got old. Yeah, it did.

I wish things could have been different. I really do.

Well, I’m off work today and I feel like crap so I’m going to I’m going to go to the doctor somewhere.

Yeah, I’ve been sick all week. Uh, went home early Monday. And yesterday, I didn’t but it was all I could do to stay at work. It was so awful.

I miss my kids so much.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. Uh I was I had this bigger thing planned.

For Memorial Day weekend but my son apparently has some graduation shit to do. It’s the end of his Elementary School days. He’ll be in middle school next year.

This fucking app. I’m going to have to edit a lot of that out.

I’m so tired and I feel like crap, but

What about friends that I used to work at the State Park Lodge 1 of my friends. 1 of my friends who I used to work with at the State Park alone, you stupid app The State Park Lodge.

Uh, she died. And this other chick who uh, was at my bachelor party, she was A girlfriend of my friend Troy who is also dead. Uh she died also maybe a month ago?

Oh my fucking god. This fucking app. This fucking stupid ass. How?

I’ve got to go outside. I hate this app so much. I hate this phone. And this app.

Okay.

If you don’t shut that yet,

Don’t know.

Okay, now I’m outside. I said I had to go outside. It’s just picking up everything stupid. Let’s get on ours. It’s getting on my nerves. You piece of shit. Fuck you. Um,

But I am I’m sick. And my whole body is like Sore. And I wonder if I have the flu or something or Worse. What if I have cancer? And I’m dying

I haven’t been to the doctor in years and years.

Well, if I am dying. I need to finish my albums. I have to finish the concept album. I got to work on that today.

And the rest of my stuff.

I wonder if I’ll ever love again? I don’t think so. That’s like, faded so much in the last.

Year or so, especially Yeah, it’s really stupid. For a long time. I was just been like You know, wish I could fall in love 1 more time and it not be a bunch of bullshit, but I don’t think I’m capable of doing it again.

It’s really dumb.

Of course, I feel like crap right now. So bad, it’s stupid.

I think I’m going to. Sweep and mop. The downstairs. Floors here in a minute. And then I’m going to probably go back to sleep and get up and go to a doctor’s office.

Oh, what else can I say? I don’t know. Dreams are crazy. I had crazy dreams. Life. This is a crazy dream. It feels like sometimes.

Oh,

Well. Thank you, please.