MONDAY

3:00 AM
Well, it’s 3:00 a.m. on Monday morning.

I’m just,

Hanging around being lazy.

That’s all I’ve done this weekend except when I got the kids Saturday afternoon and we went to Dave’s Hot Chicken

And had a great time around. I was going to work on a lot of music today, but the weather it was raining. It was like flooding everywhere. It was crazy.

Um,

I piddled around for a couple of hours.

With uh, the keyboards and stuff and then I was like, well, you know,

I’m tired. So I just laid down and fell asleep and woke up and

Piddled around a little more. I went to Whole Foods, I got I got a bunch of food and I ate it and it was okay. It wasn’t.

The best stuff I ever ate which was so when they used to put the fish out, With the brussel sprouts, and those don’t haven’t been I haven’t had that since January, maybe.

Since January. You know the Brussels sprouts. At least the fish hasn’t been there since February. I’ve noticed.

I weigh 260 lbs. This is the heaviest I’ve been since uh,

2015. And this is the second heaviest I’ve ever been. Um it’s like shit I’m fat.

I eat a lot. I eat so much.

And it’s just caught up to me. It’s really stupid.

What else can I talk about? I was just laying here. I haven’t been posting lately except for uh yesterday. Brittany, got all In all up and everything in my brains.

And uh,

I really wish everything could have been different. All She would ever have to do is just like

Send me a friend request or fucking. Message me or something. I don’t understand it.

But she will drive me absolutely crazy pecking on my blog.

I’ll never forget the first time I saw her. Oh my goodness.

Yeah, I know, I do I talk a lot of crap and stuff but she’s who I wish I was with And it’s

Uh, it’s really I don’t really know what else to say she she’s Brittany

Uh,

Well. I don’t know, I was thinking earlier about how fat I’ve gotten and how I used to have this really, haha metabolism. It was so crazy. This really high metabolism. It was fucking crazy. And uh I just could just eat. Sometimes I would eat 2 foot long subs from Subway.

Yep. But it’s because and I could and it didn’t even bother me and I could run around and When I would go to the Mexican restaurant, I would get 2. Chimmy chonga dinners. I would get a chicken Jimmy chonga.

Yeah, and a shrimp chimmy chonga dinner.

I guess that’s not. Yeah, well anyways, I’m not even going to edit that.

Um,

And it was normal. It was normal for me to eat to fucking

Worth.

To people’s worth of food.

Eat enough food for 2 people. You stupid app, but yeah.

I think I’m going to lift weights and then I’m going to try and do my chores.

But I’m really going to Try to save up my money here. I have to save up, that’s not going to happen until like. Probably next month, but

I really need to look into finding another place to live. I’m just kind of burned out on living here and

Uh, doing chores, I don’t really care for that.

Not 1 bit. Yeah, it’s just It’s just like, you know, I get it but I don’t feel like messing with this crap after working in a factory all week, even though it only takes like 20 minutes, it’s just

I don’t know last year. Towards the end of last year, she the boss lady roommate was talking about uh paying somebody to come in and clean. So we wouldn’t have to do chores. And I was totally up for that. I wouldn’t mind paying extra money for that.

But I don’t know. I don’t hate living here or anything. I mean, I’m probably going to live here for at least another 6 months. But I’ve lived here about 6 months longer than I had planned to, I really only had planned to live here for about a year.

It’s a great place though. It’s a nice house and Everybody’s pretty cool for the most part. There’s, you know it’s been a handful of stupid Instances with roommate, drama. I’ve talked a lot about that.

Especially the Pooty girl that moved out. That was probably.

The most disappointed. I’ve been in a person in a long time when I first met her, which I could tell. Within like 5 Seconds of talking to her uh that it was going to be, this was going to be, it was going to be really stupid. Though. But, uh,

Like, that’s the most.

That’s probably the that’s the most beautiful chick that I have met from living in this house. I was like when I first saw her I was like holy crap, you know? Of course. Then I figured out who she was and uh it’s just like that but That sucks. That’s my point. It was a big bunch of fucking stupid drama. I can’t really keep my kids here either that my daughter has allergies, she’s allergic to the cat. 1 of the cats. And it’s like, well,

You know, whatever.

I’m going to get my kids in about 2 weeks for Father’s Day weekend.

And that’s going to be fun. I miss them so much. Yesterday was a crazy emotional uh I guess the weather kind of Kind of saturated everything.

It was pretty much Statewide. I think I just kind of Everything’s electric with the weather and all that. I think it it that was some kind of filled. Some kind of field at work. Uh, that I think Amplified some shit like My ex girlfriend. Stephanie started fucking poking me on Facebook and

Uh, Brittany started pecking my on my blog.

Let’s just, you know, yesterday was charged.

Was it emotionally charged day, son? Day. I’m talking about Sunday. I don’t know. It was 1 of the reasons why I didn’t get a lot done with the music. I was just like, well, you know,

It’s okay to just kind of hang out and rest and absorb all this fucked up. Shit. That’s

Going into my brain.

Uh but I haven’t been posting lately. I guess this is going to be a really long post. I just drank a bunch of coffee here. So I’m like

Yeah, looks into, uh, It’s not picking up anything, it’s picking up, everything’s stupid but I’m also kind of mumbling.

I was just thinking about my life and all.

Yeah, I do that. But it’s really

It doesn’t make any sense to me that me and Brittany aren’t together. It’s really just like dang, you know?

Even though she did all that mean, crazy shit like It’s nothing. I can’t forgive her for her and I or We couldn’t work through

Its really.

Uh,

Damn, there’s still a flood watch. I just got a notification for it. But uh, yeah like

We could totally. Still, you know, do it? I’m just not, I just can’t message her. She was, you know, that’s like the 1 thing. She’s just going to have to

At least you know, like, if she sent me a friend request, I just, you know, that would make me feel better. I, I know if I message her or something and plus she still has me blocked. And that. I don’t trust that, I don’t trust all the games and all that shit. And uh, You know, it might I don’t know how relevant any of that still is but you know, if I message her, she’s liable to just be like, well I’m going to fucking call the cops again on him, you know? And it was really fucked up that she even did that.

You know, after putting nails in my tires, for anybody just stumbling upon this article. It’s like, she just, she did a bunch of mean shit. She drove me so crazy. I had a nervous breakdown on and it sucked and it was it was a really intense.

It wasn’t a normal thing at all. It was so intense, and But at the same time,

She’s the biggest crush I ever had, I guess that’s twin flame, you know?

Yeah. What else can I say about it?

Yep.

I guess that’s what’s been on my mind.

For the last. All day. Yeah, I don’t know.

Reference to time, I guess right now in my brains is kind of whacked out, because, uh, I got up. Let’s see. I fell asleep. I just Slept a bunch last night, but then I got up at like

10 or 11:00. I think it was about 11:00 yesterday morning, Sunday morning, that I woke up. And, uh, I got around and I went to Whole Foods and it was raining so hard that I shouldn’t have went out, or I shouldn’t have went that far. But I did, and I made it and I’m happy. I’m glad I did, but holy shit. It was really.

Scary. And I, um, came back and I worked on music and I ate some food and then I took a nap and then I got up and Piddled around for a little bit, it was only like a 2 hour and a half nap. And uh, I think I woke back up about 6.

And then I fell asleep. I can’t remember. It was around 9:00 and woke up. At a little after midnight.

And I’ve been up ever since then and then it’s like well you know I have to go to work tonight so I need to get the ball rolling doing things.

I’m going to want to eat. Something. This gets expressed, I said Biscuit Express, opens up at 4:30.

I should go over my set, I should go out in the garage and go over my set. And then do my chores and then eat.

Right. So maybe and then I’ll go back to sleep.

Something like that. But I’m going to wrap this up because it’s

Uh, it’s a long post. Yeah.

I love you, Brittany. Thank you, please.