WEDNESDAY

2:00 AM
I said well hello. Oh my goodness! It’s 2 a.m.

I have to go back to work today. It’s day shift.

The good news is I only have a 3-day work week.

The bad news is

It’s day shift.

Oh, I did. I had a 4 Day weekend yeah and I haven’t been posting

It’s been. What almost 2 weeks since I made a real post, maybe a week and a half, give or take?

I’ve just, been responding to Brittany pecking on my blog.

Yeah, I haven’t really felt like making posts. It’s just been the same crap over and over and over and over.

You know, I miss my kids.

More than anything. And after I have a fun crazy weekend with them, I took them home yesterday. Um,

I just miss them a whole bunch.

Yesterday was kind of Bittersweet as in. Like I had the whole day off. But it was, uh,

Mostly just me making myself. Stay up. So, I can get up.

Um, what am I saying?

So, I can sleep through the night time instead of being awake. I stayed up, I think From about 11:30 p.m.

Monday night to about 6:00 p.m.

Uh yesterday. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Technically it’s yesterday. Get my brains back to normal.

I’m going to get up in a minute and get a shower. And then I’m probably going to

Drive to work, go to the gym. Do that for 3 days and then it’s the weekend. What am I going to do this weekend?

I’m going to work on music. It’ll be nice. And I think I have, uh,

A 4 day week. Yeah, I get a 3 Day weekend next weekend because it’s the 4th of July.

If I’m remembering that correctly from when I looked at the calendar,

But yeah, I just haven’t

Haven’t been making posts. I’ve just been like blah and kind of sad.

It never gets easier. Missing my kids. It’s like, it’s the root of why I’m sad a lot of the time.

You know, I talk a bunch of crap but I don’t really care if I have a lady or not, I’d rather spend more time with my kids.

For a while there after the divorce, though. I that’s like all I could think about was

Getting back something, I thought I’d lost. And I did actually It was, uh, I don’t know that. That’s something I’ll ever get over in this lifetime. It’s just crazy when I think about it. And I’m haunted by it every day.

And a lot of the dumb crap I do and stupid junk that I talk about is a it’s just a distraction.

Oh, sometimes I wonder what the hell. I’m doing all the way up here in Huntsville.

I guess I figured I was getting my life back together somehow working at this job, where I make pretty decent money. But

You know, I’m 2 hours away from the kids and it’s just hard.

Because I don’t really care about anything else.

For real.

That’s just how it is.

I distract myself with music. And uh sometimes you know, I don’t drink anymore but I take stuff.

The kids and I got started watching this show called The Umbrella Academy. And I had heard about it but I never really watched it. It’s I don’t watch stuff. I don’t. I don’t watch TV or shows like normal people do. But I got into that for a second and the first 2 seasons were really good and then it just went, it got really bad and really stupid. And I heard I had read around like stuff that the fourth season was just almost unwatchable and it was.

It was so bad and it’s a really great like story and premise and all but the pacing and the Dialogue of the last season, like the third season was getting pretty stupid, but

The fourth season, you could tell why they cut it short. I think they just ran out of shit and it just they had to wrap it up.

But it made me sad because I you know, how you do when you invest into characters and You know, I really liked the characters.

I really loved. I think it was the second season when they were stuck in the 60s. Yeah, that that season made me happy

I liked the, um, the commission, I think of the people that like, kept track of the timeline,

But yeah, the uh

I don’t know it just I guess it ran, its course. Um, But I really enjoyed the first 2 Seasons so much that I had to like, watch it until the end. And that’s what I did yesterday. It was uh, I watched the.

Last season.

And, I think that’s the only reason that I stayed up. I was able to stay up till 6:00 p.m. But hopefully I woke up at like, 1:30 and I can get Back on track a little easier. That’s why I gave myself an extra day off.

I’ll push it pretty hard working and stuff too, and that’s another reason I don’t make, I haven’t been making a lot of posts and then my free time, I’ve been working on music.

But I just can’t put into words how much I miss the kids and how like, I’m so happy when I’m with them when I have them and then when they go back to their moms, it’s just Oh, it makes it so much worse. It hurts. Like for at least the first couple of days, it’s just It just makes me really sad.

Being a human. I don’t know. It’s It’s pretty ridiculous.

It gets pretty ridiculous sometimes.

But I do I have some uh spam I’ve got to make with toast and that’s going to be my breakfast.

And then I’m going to go to work. I’m going to go.

I’m going to edit this and get a shower and

Try to get to work about. 4:00 a.m.

But yeah, I think uh next week it’s 4 days and then the next week is a full week and then it’s the summer shutdown.

And that’s going to be a lot of fun.

But it’s also the same week as my daughter’s band camp. So I’m not going to be able to do stuff with the kids like I want.

The same thing happened last year. Last Summer.

Oh, what else? I don’t know. Uh,

It’s funny that Brittany pecked on my blog so much last week and I don’t know why that messes with me like it does but um I guess that’s just twinflame stuff that I don’t really care about anymore. Like I, I mean, I still care about her and I hope she has a great life and all but

She didn’t peck on it all weekend and then I think it was her looking at it. She just looked at it yesterday morning I think that was at like 3 or 4:00 a.m. I was making a post but I took it down.

I don’t know.

But yeah, yesterday I did I practiced my set

For open mic night stuff. And it’s like,

I’m not that bad out of shape. Some of the stuff I did sounded really good.

So I think I’m going to uh just work on that crap, this weekend and after work I’m going to try to do it after work.

Oh man, but you know this job that I have, it does just Encompass like It’s my whole life, it’s funny. There’s no work life balance, you know, so much.

But I don’t really, you know, I don’t have

That much of a desire for a like a social life. Or anything. What am I even trying to say? I’m just like blah.

My life isn’t very interesting right now. It’s just been the same old crap, but I like it, that way. You know, I don’t really need a bunch of drama and stuff.

Wish I could go back to sleep, but I really don’t need to Hahaha. Yeah. Yeah, I said, yay. Thank you. Please.