9:11 AM
Well, I just woke up about an hour ago.
Drinking coffee.
Kind of,
Overdid it yesterday.
I just want to go back to sleep, but I have to Go over to my roommate’s friend’s house, and look at their fence. Because, um,
They need to know what it’s going to take to fix it.
Um, I think
That was a over a year ago. Yeah. When I dug those holes for them.
It’s not that big of a deal. I’m just going to like it’s just right up the road. I thought about walking up there but
Um,
No, I’m probably not going to do that, so
I need to get around also and go try to put my costume together. I did not do that yesterday. I don’t want to do anything today, either. I want to sleep.
On, and be lazy.
But I am drinking delicious coffee.
I just paid rent, so I’m not. I don’t have a whole bunch of money. Hopefully, I can throw it.
The costume together. For less than a hundred dollars, I don’t know. I can’t even. Remember the last time I wore a Halloween costume, It’s been a
10 years ago, maybe.
I don’t know what else to say. You know, I miss my kids.
And,
I made all my social media private and uh gosh, I got some looks
Last week from a couple of chicks on my line. I was like, dang does it do they though? I mean,
Yeah, like all these, they all pop up all the time on the people. I may know. Or suggested accounts
And it’s like well that’s great and all but I don’t have anything in common with anybody from work. And it seems like the longer I’ve worked there. The more that it’s just like, dang
But I don’t. I’m just so tired, and
I’ve been single for so long that it’s like you know, I’ll entertain the idea of it is a lot more fun than the reality because the reality
Scares the shit out of me and my daughter just broke up with her boyfriend. A couple of days ago. And, uh, She’s really upset about that.
Because they had been together since middle school, like a couple of years. Yeah, like 8th grade, I think. And they’re in 10th Grade now and uh, Oh, I just remember. She was just absolutely smitten with him. Uh, when they first, you know, started,
Being boyfriend and girlfriend. And I just remember how happy she was and how much she just oh she just loved him. You know, he was just this. Cute little nerdy guy.
And he’s like, really emotionally like distant and He’s kind of a dick and he’s kind of, um,
A Republican and that, that didn’t happen. That wasn’t going on at first. You know, when they first got together. I think that’s something that’s happened in the last few months he just became a Republican and oh, I know. I said, haha, yeah.
I know it’s
But it made me sad and she was, you know, having a hard time dealing with a breakup, she cried and cried and cried even though it was for the best, that’s my point. You know and uh,
It’s like, yeah, I know that’s what scares me about. Getting uh, Love again, because if it doesn’t work out, it’s going to kill me like
You know, I talked about how like every lady I’ve ever been with has gotten insanely jealous and possessive. Well, you know, the other side of that is that I love them. So very, very much like just so much and Uh, when it doesn’t work out and it has it’s been 5 and a half years uh, since I had a real girlfriend.
It’s uh it just and then like Stephanie the way she yanked me around. I mean Gosh. Uh, but even as much as, as stupid as that Tiffany chick, You know, I cried over her for 2 months straight, like every day and it hurt so bad.
I mean, she like You know this chick though. I mean I talked about how it wasn’t really anything, but I thought it was and I was just like, okay well I guess it’s her. I mean, she gave me her Spotify account like she had like a family account. And she added me to that and gave me the password for it. And, you know, my kids met her kids and it’s like, what the hell was I supposed to think? And then just like that, just like snap of my fingers. She just stopped. Started being distant and weird. And,
It it I didn’t understand, you know, at first, I thought maybe she needed some space, you know. But it turned out. She had a secret boyfriend. Just like my daughter had said she probably did
It hurt me, so very, very bad. And I don’t understand why she did that. So, you know, it was a really
Shitty piece of crap thing to do and then oh gosh I guess it’s it’s been a while like a week or 2 a couple weeks or Yeah. 2 is a couple of weeks or maybe 3. I was poking around at her Facebook and I don’t regret like looking back on it. It’s like well shit. You know, how long would that have lasted? You know, like her kids were cool, but they weren’t as cool as my kids. And that probably would have been a conflict because she is a really great mom, you know, but she’s married now and, uh, She just doesn’t even look the same. I feel like You know as much as that did hurt me, I really dodged a
Not just a bullet but like, a cannonball to the face or something. It’s like man, what the hell’s wrong with you? Yeah.
I love so much. You know. I mean, I even had a song made up about her and it just came out. I, I was like, yay, I finally found a lady and finally found somebody, you know, And uh, nope. Hell no.
I don’t really get out or put myself out there anymore either and I did I shaved my head and I always feel so ugly. I was starting to feel like decent again, uh, you know, with my beard, my hair had grown out a a good bit. It takes about 3 months.
3 and a half months or something. But uh, I just shaved it all off. For a Halloween costume that I still haven’t put together.
And I do, I just feel like, gosh, I just feel like a like a fucking
Ogre or some shit I do. I’m still so ugly. I felt like I’m just the ugliest person ever right now.
But I get to wear my boggin. Yeah. Because it’s uh, it’s not.
Hi, it’s in the 50s.
No. The temperature. It’s nice.
But yeah, as much as I don’t, really want to get up.
After I edit this and post it, I’m going to text the dude and just go look. It’s going to take me like 5 minutes to look around and see what all they’re going to need.
Uh, and I really don’t remember what all I did.
But they’re really, you know, they’re really nice people. They’re uh, Like my roommates versions of Eric and Rosanna, yeah. I don’t, you know. Um, but they’re cool.
And then after that, I’m probably going to go up to the, uh,
That Halloween place that’s close to the Guitar Center. Yeah and check that out and probably Go to the Guitar Center, too, and check that out because I don’t really have a lot of money right now but I really really need a standard tuning guitar. Like an electric guitar. I can keep in standard tuning but
I don’t want to pay that much money for it.
So,
The whatever money I get this week because I’ve been using that pay thing, um, pay active. And that’s why I have been so broke. I haven’t asked my wife for To borrow money in a long, long time. Because it’s like, oh yeah, I can just get the money. And I’ve got like I can get enough to pay all my stuff and keep my bills, you know, still paid. So it’s like whatever.
But uh, this week
Yeah, I’ve got to get a hotel room Saturday night for Halloween with the kids. If I can’t put the hatman costume together, I’m going to be something else. You know, I don’t fucking know. I probably should have shaved. Probably need to shave. In my head anyways, right, I don’t know. I don’t know anything.
But like all the co-workers songs and everything. That’s uh, most of those are in standard tuning like my really goofy dumb shit is in standard tuning because I don’t take it seriously, and it’s funny and standard. Tuning is a, you know, it’s fine.
It. Uh, I’m used to using C standard like I am uh, standard tuning actually feels kind of novel.
It’s like here, you know? I’m doing the normal music, you know, the normal people sounding music,
That’s uh, that makes me laugh. But I didn’t work on anything yesterday. I kind of dicked around on my nylon string, and I don’t know, I just wasn’t feeling that inspired.
Yep, I don’t know. I need to uh,
I need to get out more. I think I need to get out and play, um, some kind of something, yeah, doing something.
Music. But as much as I would like to meet somebody, um, it’s too scary. Yeah, it’s too scary right now. Because I’m just afraid it’s going to be like, Just another 2 month bullshit relationship and They’re not worth it. I cry. And I, um, it just makes me sad for a long time. Every single 1 of them, even Hannah. The 1, that Uh, the reason I freak out and run away the most, you know,
It took me like every bit of a year to get over her or to get over that. It wasn’t really her, you know, it was like damn what the fuck is wrong with me?
But like, fuck all that. Yeah, I don’t know. I talk about that stuff too much. That’s 1 thing I’ve noticed about. Whoever the hell it is uh from you know, with the China something the IP address that’s hitting my fucking blog. It’s uh,
You know, reading all the posts it’s like, dang I do talk about this stuff too much but then on the other hand,
There’s a lot of posts I’ve made where I just go off on like really crazy shit and that’s like, oh yeah, you know, I guess, I am pretty cool for the most part, when I’m not talking about, you know, stupid stuff.
What else can I say? It’s Sunday and
Let’s um,
Let’s let’s do it. Yay.
Thank you, please
