FRIDAY NIGHT

7:26 PM
Okay.

I think I got home about 4:30 or something.

I had a poke bowl of from yesterday I bought and I ate that. When I first got home. Now, I’m really really hungry, you know?

I didn’t say, you know, it just put that there. Haha

Sometimes I’ll say a sentence and then like Stop. And maybe carry out the last syllable. For some reason, I don’t know because my

Voice is dragon.

Dragging. Yes and uh, it’ll put something at the end that I didn’t say.

Yeah. I don’t know. My voice has been really Gravelly, I don’t. I haven’t been smoking.

It’s kind of crazy.

Yep.

Trying to figure out what I want to do. I dozed off for a little bit and had these crazy dream things like I had I had 3 monsters today. Yeah, like too much.

And uh I crashed after I ate the Poke Bowl.

But now I’m really hungry. It’s Friday night. It’s 7:30

I want to go to the gym. I need to get a shower.

I figured I would like come home and pass the hell out.

Oh man, then now it’s like I’m tired.

Do I really want to go to the gym?

Cutting. I just go back to sleep.

Couldn’t uh, just go back to sleep.

Couldn’t I Yeah, I’ll just go back to sleep. Could I, though?

I don’t know what to do.

I just got up and turned my light on. I’m at least going to get a goddamn shower.

And probably go get some food somewhere.

Yeah, my voice is all like, It’s like low.

And weird.

But anyway, this shit, I don’t know.

I published my blog. Today again, I like yeah, I opened it back up.

And it was crazy. It was like almost immediately it got pecked on and so did my other blog? Actually, let’s look at my other blog. Real quick.

And I got back on Facebook and I made my Instagram public.

I was kind of weird.

Let’s see.

That’s weird. I don’t know. It’s, uh,

I mean, I know it’s her. You know, I just it’s like really

But she can’t message me or like, do anything except be weird and Stuff. It’s it’s really crazy. I’ll never forget the way she looked at me. The last time I talked to her,

Oh man, I guess 1 day. I really do need to just tell the whole story from the start to finish.

I started doing that on my other blog except I stopped uh when I started talking about like

I got to like, what happened with Tiffany and then I just I got tired of talking about it and that’s kind of how it is because it’s It gets really stupid and I don’t know if she’s doing it. Just to let me know that she’s still here or something. But you know, I still can’t get over.

Seeing her in Guntersville. And yeah, Guntersville Alabama, this all this happens in Alabama y’all haha. And uh, she just wouldn’t even look at me. It’s like, okay, I don’t know. Here I am. I’m right here. Like

Shit like that is just

I don’t.

I don’t know. It’s almost. It’s like I’m getting tired of Of talking about it. Finally, like I don’t ever talk about my ex fiance anymore, you know, not really. I talked about her, a lot all the fucking time for about 2 years. In my other blog. Yeah. And, uh, my ex-wife as a general rule, I mean I’ve I’ve, uh, talked about her more than

I ever had about, here. Uh, but she’s off limits like for the most part.

As far as that stuff goes, because it’s different with her. She’s the kid’s mom and

It does though, it’s funny. It’s like I’m still screwed up from all that.

It was just really crazy, uh, because we were together for so long and I didn’t realize that I had married an alcoholic addict. You know, like alcoholic slash addict. Yeah, it wasn’t. She wasn’t, she was both of them. And uh, I didn’t realize but that didn’t start that was like latent. Yeah, it came out after we had kids. And I didn’t know what the hell. Any of that was You know, until it was

I just I don’t know. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. I mean well, what happened Wednesday night, you know, that set off a whole another bunch of crap but I’m

I’ve processed that mostly now, you know that’s 1. Funny thing about working in a factory where you do the same thing over and over and over and over. You can think about stuff. I work. Through a lot of my issues while I’m working, you know. Like just it, it helps I mean, you can drive yourself crazy too but

Uh,

A lot of times I work through problems in my head.

Yeah, I don’t know that I’m going to go to the gym, I don’t think I think I’m just going to rest. I need to go to sleep. I’m on nights next week, I’m going to rest up, and then I’m going to probably Try to stay up Sunday. Yeah. Sunday night. Yeah, I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with my voice. It’s fucking crazy.

Oh, It’s been like this for a week or so. But I haven’t been, I haven’t rested it. I quit smoking. And uh,

This is funny. It’s like my voice has gotten. It’s gotten deeper, but I’ve yelled a lot of weird crazy shit at work a lot. It’s Just, I’m

I am, I’m insane.

But not like for real, I get bored. Oh, my God.

But I’m going to get the kids tomorrow. I don’t know that I’m going to get them for like to spend the night. I was actually going to talk to them and talk to their mom about that tomorrow. It’s like, well, you know my car does have an exhaust leak and I don’t I don’t know if I want to drive it a whole bunch like I mean, I’m driving it a whole bunch going down there but like after that, you know, I don’t know if I want to Go down there and Back Again. I need to get that fixed. Because you can smell it all through the car. And I mean, I have my windows down all the time anyways but I just I don’t know I don’t want to drive it any more than I have to.

Until I get at least get it looked at Monday. I’m going to call a guy. First thing Monday morning and

Get it checked out.

Oh yeah, it’s really weird. My voice. Yeah, I don’t know it’ll probably be okay. I just need to

Uh, it really started doing this after I did the mean old lady from Logistics song. Yeah, that was a lot. So I don’t know. It’s actually kind of funny. I don’t care it’ll get I can still sing and stuff. It’s I don’t know what I did to it. Exactly. It actually sounds like

It’s like, More full sounding or something. Maybe it was good. It was a good thing. What the hell? Do I want to eat though? Uh,

Well by the time I get a shower, you know, edit this and post it and get a shower, it’ll probably be 8:30. So, um,

But it is Friday night, I could just go get Waffle House.

That’s always pretty good.

But yeah, I’m just I don’t know. I still don’t like. Still understand.

Brittany, just can’t Communicate to me like a person, it’s like, yeah, you know.

It’s been a long time. Like, just like, what are you still wanting from me, you know, this is like I’m never going to message her. She’s got me blocked on Facebook, and Instagram. And it’s kind of funny, you know, it is but it’s also like It’s ridiculous. And it’s immature. You know, this isn’t this. None of that was ever like fun for me. I know she I don’t know what.

I don’t know what she got in her head all, but I remember the last time I talked to her, the way she looked at me her eyes bugged out of her fucking head and she like, Twitched all crazy. Yeah, it was

Um,

Remarkable.

And I’m not even like exaggerating or anything like It was this was like 1 of the, craziest things that like has ever happened to me about like a, a lady.

I don’t know. But, um, I haven’t looked at her social media In a long time, you know, couple of months probably a little more than that now,

Anyways. Yeah, I just thought it was like

Let’s I mean like as soon as I republished my blog within like, 5 minutes, Then, you know I got it. Got pecked on both blogs. Did after I opened them back up. Yeah. So it’s like

I don’t know, I don’t know why. I even talk about it as much as I do.

Oh man, I’m tired.

Yeah, I don’t know what I want to do.

I guess I’m going to get a shower. I’m going to edit this and get a shower and go. Find some delicious food and

Eat it. I really want to go to the gym, but You know, I also want To visit Quebec. And uh, You know what I mean? Like it’s like I have

Yeah, I also want a spaceship and You know.

Oh my God.

But yes. Sometimes I wonder like what even is this? Whole thing, I was thinking about, uh, I was laying here and I dozed off for a little bit. I started thinking about my dad. And I thinking about how I was in business with him for 10 years, and I had had this whole another Completely different life. It was so crazy. And like I used to live in this family compound.

And my uncle had a house down in the woods. And I had a house that was back off across from there that I bought from my uncle the same uncle. And then my dad’s house is right there and it’s down this like, you know, Dead End Road and everything has there’s like fences and Gates everywhere.

Um, you know, there’s there’s like a there’s Woods, you know, they own quite a bit of land or owned or I don’t know what’s going on with it now. But, you know, 10 years ago

Uh, which it’s been we sold the house in 2016. And I’m really though, like I wasn’t that unhappy.

My ex-wife was miserable living there. She, um, there’s all kind of built up resentment and just a lots of stuff that she never communicated or addressed while we were together. Like,

Uh, or at least while we were living there. I knew she hated living there though and I really didn’t but I grew up there. I didn’t like working for my dad. But and she didn’t make anything easy for me either. Like I didn’t come home and to like, you know, it was like

She gave me a hard time a lot and I don’t know why I think it’s just cuz she wasn’t. She didn’t get the I think she’s got the life she wants now you know but and everything it just

You know all that but then also coupled with either 1 of us really knew. What the hell we were doing? You know, I think that’s just life. I don’t think anybody here. Some people do. I don’t

7:46 PM
I don’t know. I think she just wanted kids out of me for the most part. That’s uh that’s kind of what I was saying. And the Wednesday. You know Thursday nights? Yeah.

That was just last night’s Post? Yeah, cuz I made a post this morning. Okay. Um, the post before last. Yeah, I was like, duh, um,

I couldn’t imagine her, and I ever getting back together or yeah, as much as I loved her. And as much as I cried over her, especially yesterday, oh my God. I haven’t cried about her like that in so long. And you know, I really did, though.

I really, really like truly loved her more than anything. And it’s just all that came flooding back but totally took me off guard. I mean I was really appreciative or grateful, you know of like how that got turned into something that wasn’t Didn’t ruin my life. Yeah. Oh my God. I was just like, you know, I can’t blame anybody except myself for that 1, you know, like I could blame, you know, Brittany

In a lot of ways. Haha I mean that was I and then my ex fiance, you know, because she got into my phone and turned my alarms off. That’s For any new readers that’s in some, like other posts.

And then I think about like, you know, new readers like I make You know, 1 to 4 posts a day every single day. Almost, you know, going back. I think I started this blog in, like, towards the end of March of this year and it’s already up to, um,

Oh crap.

I am still logged in on my other blog. Okay, it has 565 articles.

And that’s, uh,

Which I didn’t post. In there hardly at all, in 2024, like well for about

From like, Shit. I don’t even remember, June, or July of 2023 up until about September of 2024. I didn’t post hardly anything in there. Um,

But then I did a lot until I just stopped and made this blog. But that so 565 articles.

Well I guess about 3 years or something 3 and a half years give or take

Um, let’s see. Log out

Gotta log out.

267 posts.

Um,

I mean, so I’ve made almost half.

Um, the number Of posts I’ve made on my other blog on this blog, and I have had this blog for

Oh gosh. Like the beginning of April. Yeah. Like the first week of April, I can’t really find an exact date because I forgot I made this blog last year actually in August of last year. Um, but then I, I stopped using it. I couldn’t get the format right on anything else. The way I wanted it, like the way I had it on this 1. So I just used this 1.

Yeah, went back to using it.

I have another blog to called my blog numero dos.

Uhuh and, uh, but it’s private

I had to log into that, and I ought to log into that, and

Republish it actually. Let’s look at it. Yeah, I’m just you know, this is whatever.

Okay. I think it’s

And my blog numero dos.

At gmail.

Oh yeah, this was a really cool 1. I have a little blue frog for my icon

So,

This is like a cool little blog of it too, though. Let’s see.

I was dealing with a lot that’s 1. I was dealing with my mom. A lot of her stuff that wasn’t

Easy. I want to republish it.

Though, I want to republish I just republished it. Yeah, but that’s the thing. Like Brittany will fucking peck on my shit. But she doesn’t read any articles, you know.

From my ex-wife was still like stalking my blog, then too Also, read an article, Brittany will read an article every now, and again um, but uh, I don’t know. It’s probably just 1. The only thing she can still do to kind of aggravate me or something. I don’t fucking know. I, I don’t know why. I still talk about it. I guess, because it still happens. Maybe that’s her way of like, trying to keep me from completely forgetting about her, which I probably never will. But she would revert to, like, you know, where the rest of them are at. Like, I don’t ever think about them anymore. I don’t ever think about any of my ex-girlfriends. You know, or anything? Oh, this is just this is all I talk about, isn’t it? Yeah, it’s all. I’ve talked about lately.

But yes, so I just made that other blog opened it back up. I’m going to fuck with that later though.

Just want to see if anybody pecks on it cuz she might, she might be like she might check it sometimes.

I have no idea you know like she was obviously checking just you know, probably Refreshing it. Like I don’t I have no idea what her life is like and what she does. She just You know, like some people just mindlessly scroll through Facebook, she probably just sits there. I imagine. Yeah, maybe her just like laying somewhere like on the couch or in her bed and just refreshing it until I’ve opened it back up. You know, like, spending an hour doing that or something. Haha

I mean that’s just I don’t, you know, like I said like I did a republished it. This morning and within 5 minutes, like she had pecked on it and pecked on my other blog. And this was like, You know, I was at work. Um, In the break room. Before my shift started, I want to say it was like 6. It was. I don’t know some somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30. I don’t remember exactly.

Gosh. Yeah. I’m just blabbering this stuff’s so stupid. This is my life though. I don’t know.

But I am like getting getting sick of talking about like, chicks and stuff. I’m not ready to ask anybody out or do anything for like getting entangled with anyone in any capacity.

Not really? I don’t know. I mean I’m getting better though. It just it was like that was like

It helped a lot to to cry about my ex-wife. A bunch yesterday and a little bit today.

Because it’s like, you know, I just I really did.

But that don’t mean, we need to get, you know, like we I mean we’ll never get back together. You know, but that didn’t make me lov her, any love.

Love her. Any less. You know it’s just

Life isn’t perfect or at least it isn’t perfect. Uh, how you want it to be? Sometimes you don’t, you know, how you want things to be. And It isn’t how you know sometimes it gets pretty awesome, though. Yeah, I mean a lot of the time it can be

Oh yeah. I was talking about my dad and all that shit and like it was just crazy. I was just thinking about how like You know, I miss my dad, sometimes I really do. And and I did have a really great life.

I did, it was like,

I had like, Material security.

I had uh, you know, I made plenty of money. I had a studio. I had a recording studio. I had like A social life. I had a bunch of dogs. I had a wife. You know. And then the kids were born and everything shifted, you know?

Modes, I guess. And uh, it was even better. And then everything started falling apart.

But I don’t know, I guess. I mean.

It’s crazy, you know? But I do, I miss my kids so much.

And that’s really the only thing right now. That’s that bothers me. Well shit. Um, I guess I need to wrap this up. I need to get a shower and get out and Find some food somewhere. Um, because

Usually after 9:00, uh, everything’s that’s decent is closing down, even if it’s Friday night, you know

Unless it’s Waffle House but I don’t know that I want Waffle House, you know.

I do have soup. Here. But

I don’t I don’t know if I want to cook. Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to do.

Yeehaw. Thank you, please.