FRIDAY MORNING

4:44 AM
Oh my gosh. Okay.

I am driving. Guess what? Guess where.

To work, haha.

It’s Friday. What a crazy week.

Oh man. We’re supposed to get some new people today, I think.

Yeah.

I don’t know. Like, I felt like last night I just went off all this big crazy rant thing. I was so whacked out of like, I was so out of it last night. But that was, that was, uh, by 200 words my longest post. Haha Yep. It was like, 5400, something words. That’s a lot of fucking shit. You know, it’s so funny because I do a lot of those words are me saying, you know, And like and, uh,

Um,

And yeah.

Haha.

Because that’s just how I talk. And just I say just a lot. Yeah.

I call those buffer words.

I don’t know. I say, I don’t know a lot too.

Expression.

And conveys like a.

It’s like an even further abstraction. Yeah, of uh it’s but it’s like on a real dumb level. It’s like stupid. Yeah, like I turn everything into, you know, allegory that way. Haha I don’t know. I didn’t like it’s so funny though to watch to watch the words come up on the screen as they’re coming out. Of my mouth. I still think you know this is uh I mean like it or love it or you know you got to take the good with the bad but The Human Experience is a remarkable thing.

And there’s like a world. Within worlds, within worlds within worlds. That are within Worlds. All so on them to Forever. Oh,

Unto forever. Yeah. And uh, it’s like that Star Trek episode, the Inner Light, you know.

That’s a world within a world within a world itself. That’s my favorite all around Star Trek episode because it’s uh,

It’s like a could totally be. What’s happening to me right now? Oh, you know, like some probe in my brain. I’m living somebody’s life, you know, is like this long forgotten civilization, that died out because of crazy bullshit, well, their sun went, uh, Nova or something, I think and everything was getting fucked up and they sent that probe out to tell the story of their civilization. Oh, you know, like, I don’t know.

About humans in the planet and stuff.

But uh, it was funny talking to, the chick last night or yesterday evening You know, doing my reading I started a holler back at her though and be like hey I totally forgot to ask you about my twin flame. But part of me, just doesn’t Because, you know, all that was her being fucking crazy. Like, you know, she likes to play games and fuck with my head. Yeah like that’s That’s all but that’s why the Twin Flame thing hasn’t happened.

And you know, she knows I’m fucking retarded. She just decided she would mess with me even more about it. I don’t know. I I can’t

Like, there’s no way she’s that fucking stupid. I guess, Is she? Yeah, like

I don’t know.

I know sometimes though, I miss her a lot.

I miss watching her work. You know, I miss her. Like I was just she messed with my head too much and It wasn’t hard, you know?

But she didn’t cut me any fucking slack after a point. And it’s like, hey,

I would have married her, you know? Like, I would have spent forever with her, maybe that. Wasn’t in the cards.

For real, I don’t know. But uh, my point of that was the lady told me that I’m supposed to meet somebody within the year, you know, Within 1 year. Yeah.

Which is cool. I’m not ready. Yeah, I’m not ready right now at all.

I’m not ready and I’m going to hurt whoever I get mixed up with if I got mixed up with somebody right now, I would end up hurting like

Breaking their heart or something or, or making them really sad. And I have actually made a lot of chicks, really sad, by just not talking to them.

Yeah, and that makes me feel like crap but then it’s like, dude, you got to stop looking at them. Because I do like there’s, there’s a few chicks up here, where I work. Now that I look at them every time I see them. I can’t help it. I just think they’re the most beautiful ladies ever. And uh,

Well, I’ve talked all about them in this blog, their names or a description of them, you know, are in the tags. Haha There’s a about 7 or 8. That at least,

Uh, oh my goodness. I’m not going to go off about that.

But she told me some cool things. You know, oh it’s

It was fun and It was at the center of light.

Close to the UAH campus. It’s used to be the old theosophy. Place

Yeah, it’s the same people. I’m pretty sure it’s the same house. Oh, and I came up there. 1 day with the kids, like 10 years ago, and nobody was there. Maybe maybe like 9 years ago. I think it was 2016. Yeah it was. When we still lived in the house in Martling

But um it’s it was neat too because I got all this crazy energy just sitting there in the room talking to her. I was like, wow, this this is a special house.

But yeah, I guess, you know, that’s kind of the deal about the whole twin flame thing. A lot of that was Brittany, just being mean. Like, Really, really mean.

That’s why we’re not together. It’s not that it’s not that complicated and yeah.

But I still got all my stuff. Deactivated, I’m probably going to republish my blog though. Today, I’m, I’m fixing to get when I get to work. I’m going to go to the gym for about 20 minutes.

And then I’m going to sit in the break room. Uh, sort through all that crap.

And I’m just so happy. I’m grateful that I am headed to work again today because I love my job. I love where I work. I love most of the people. You know, there’s nobody, I explicitly.

Hate. Yeah, like at all.

You know.

But I am like gosh and yesterday like all that stuff. I was so grateful. And I need to, like, Not forget that I have.

People who care about me, but like there’s really great people in the world. You know everywhere all the time and it’s awesome.

It’s beyond awesome. Yeah, it’s the best.

You know.

There’s a lot of really great people out here.

But, you know, shit, I mean and I Like,

I cried so much yesterday I did, it’s just, you know, my ex-wife

I’m going to start crying again I guess. But, uh,

Jesus Christ. You know.

It’s funny how, I just stuffed it down like I thought I’d gotten over it, you know, I just I haven’t gotten over. Like, you know, and it it was the like not getting to see my kids on a regular basis. Any like, you know, I don’t not being a part of their daily life, I’ve never gotten used to that.

That’s not something I’ve ever gotten used to.

And my kids are all I care about.

Yep. Like for real and my son’s got a game tomorrow. And I’m going to go down there and I’m going to watch him and then I’m going to get him and my daughter for an adventure. Or something, probably nothing too crazy because I don’t have a whole lot of money and I need to get this exhaust thing fixed on the car.

Next week, ASAP Yep.

But yeah, I can’t wait to do something with the kids tomorrow. I don’t know what we’re going to do.

I don’t know where we’re going to eat somewhere. Delicious. Yes. Oh my God I got these Gryos this Gyro meal thing and

It was 6 PA.

Euros pas. PA bread.

Pita bread. Yes, I was wondering if that was a word in here.

Um, I ate all of them except for, I ate all the meat. In 5 pizzas and it had the faded cheese. The feta cheese. Yes, and tzatziki sauce and it was like the best stuff. I fucking have eaten.

In a long time that I just could make at home. Oh my God, it was so good.

Oh my gosh. I do miss my kids. So very, very much

I don’t know what else to say. Yeah, I was just making a post.

A post. Oh my gosh.

Thank you. Please.