5:47 AM
Well. What happened? Um, Oh nothing bad. It was just what I’ve done since I made that last post.
Well, I cooked that Grandma’s chicken and rice stuff and it’s like a family size. It was the family size of 4 servings. I think. And I ate the whole thing in 1, s.
I did in 1, s.
It’s not going to pick that word up, it’s not going to pick up sitting.
In 1.
It’s not going to pick up.
- It’s just going to do that. I’m going to say it. I had it all in 1 sitting. There it goes. What the hell?
This app. It’s like Priceville. Hey, it finally it. Did it picked up.
It used to not ever pick up Priceville.
Priceville or 1 sitting. And it’s doing it now. Maybe it learned. Hahaha.
Well, thank you, if you did learn.
Application. Love you.
I wonder how many other people use this and what they use it for. Do they use it? Also for blog posts? Am I the only 1? In the whole universe.
But I ate all that and I got oat milk. Yeah, I did. I like oat milk. A lot actually and a vanilla flavored and I got this cake. I ate the cake just now and I think
I just haven’t been eating enough. You know, I’ve been on that bland diet.
Just haven’t eaten enough.
I guess because I do run around so crazy and I am so crazy. At work, but I just I haven’t been eating enough calories.
As a matter of fact, I have lost about 20 pounds.
My belt is like the belt. I have It used to be.
Way further down. I used to have like 3 Notches left on it. And that was, you know, enough and now it’s like all the way to the end and It’s loose On me. Yeah. So that’s how much weight I’ve lost.
In the last month and a half that, I’ve done the bland diet thing.
And I don’t feel puny right now. I feel full And happy.
That’s, I guess I need to eat better and
Not so much worried about it, just maybe stay off the spicy. Food. Stop dumping hot sauce on everything and
Just generally eating garbage, you know, like I have to stop that I have to eat good food. I have to eat better. So I don’t necessarily have to eat bland food all the time, but I don’t have to eat.
Uh, I don’t need to eat, you know, garbage.
And gosh, I do, you know I have
I have been.
But I practiced, uh, About 30 minutes or so. I think I did about 10.
Songs. Maybe. Kind of a rough, you know, set.
I was going to get up and go walk around, go walking around the block, but I’m not going to do that. I’m going to do that this weekend.
But uh, I think I’m going to
Probably pass out here in a minute. I just figured, uh, how we make a post another post. I would make another post.
Yeah.
Don’t really have anything.
To complain about right now, I’m actually content except I miss my kids and that’s it.
I’m going to go to the gym. Uh, for work when I do that. I’m going to do that. Yes.
And it was been a nice night off. I’ve had a good time. I watched a lot of Facebook reels That were funny to me and entertaining, I entertained.
I was.
Um,
I watched the Jason K Pargin video. Yeah, whatever his name about. I watch him pretty regularly. He’s kind of like,
Well, he’s a really cool guy. Uh,
I can’t really say anything. I mean he’s all he’s awesome, really? Yeah and he uh, He’s 1 of my favorite video, making people.
Some of his stuff is kind of like okay dude but then that’s just like
Uh,
He’s, you know, Generation X to the Like a pretty archetypal yeah uh kind of reminds me of like my cousin Cliff some of my older cousins. Yeah my cousins Cliff and Shawn. And uh, you know, those dudes.
Those were like my biggest Heroes as a kid but anyways, uh, he did a video on
Bum Farto. And that’s a real person. It is
And he disappeared.
It’s a crazy world.
It is things you just can’t make. Some things you know, you just can’t make them up. It’s like, wow, no, that’s real.
Like uh, well hell if you really want to look at. The human race, you know, civilization and all this stuff in general.
It’s pretty crazy. I think about that sometimes especially at work, I’ll just be thinking about how weird it is. You know, I’m just this person here and I’m wearing this uniform and it has my name. I have a name and it’s on my uniform and I have hands. With fingers and I’m wearing these things they call gloves. And they protect your hands and your fingers from like,
Touching stuff too much. So, they don’t get hurt. And uh you know a lot of stuff. You just I guess your average person may not realize how much
Stuff. Just so much stuff goes into an automobile. And the assembly line and the whole process. It’s like, damn, this place is so huge. And the people who do it are insane, we are all insane. And we’re all really tired, and mad, and sleep deprived and rest deprived, and we all eat garbage, and we all get sick of each other and sick of the work. And uh, That’s our whole life.
And it’s kind of funny because, you know, Like I get 1 of my co-workers, you know, I get why they hang out after work and they make friends and they date each other and pass each other around and everybody in the whole plant, you know? But like There’s, People like me. Who don’t do that. And then, you know, a lot of people are married and have families and stuff too. And those people are the luckiest. People.
I was uh, talking to 1 of my friends. He’s like the coolest guy that I’ve met there as far as like, work ethic and knowing stuff and he’s just a Total like badass dude and he learned every 1 of our processes in a week and he was certified and then he has like, I don’t know, he’s the upper management material though. He’s going to go places. If unless he just gets totally sick of it, you know and quits. But uh he was one day telling me how tired he was cuz he’s got 3 kids and he’s married and stuff. And I was like, dude I know it’s hard and it’s like, dang this is, but that’s life. Doesn’t get any better than that. Like you don’t want to end up like me, you’re going to end up like me if something happens and and you all divorce and you lose all that stuff. You’re going to end up like me. And you’re going to wish you were still married. And had a family because that’s as good as life gets for a human being. You know, it’s not just some kind of like trap or anything. People try to get you sucked into or I don’t know, a lot of people are real anti, having kids and marriage and all that like the conventional. But that’s actually a really Fulfilling awesome, fucking life. I didn’t want anything else. It was horrible to watch my marriage fall apart and I’ll never be. I’ll never be like healthy in my brain or normal because of that. Like I’m just I’m fucked for the rest of this life because of uh,
The way my marriage ended and everything I thought about everything was
You know it just I married the wrong person that’s uh that’s kind of that happens but if you don’t if you marry the right person and somebody you can actually have a family with and stuff and you know Oh my gosh. Uh yeah, that’s like
That’s as good as life gets, you know.
And it it is and I know a lot of people who are super happily married and that makes me happy. That’s all I wanted, you know. And a big thing too about Uh, being with my ex-wife for 18 years, you know, I just
Always hoped it would get better, it’s like a little bit better, you know, she’ll realize 1 day that
I don’t know. Uh, I’m not going to go off and around about that, but I loved her more than anything and
I didn’t mean to go off in that direction. With this posts. I don’t know. I do like, I’m so screwed up that I still think about it and I still cry about her and I’m still just super fucked up and it’ll never get better.
Not that part. Anyways, like You know, like I might actually if my voice isn’t
Oh, this has just been so frustrating, but after I got, you know, about 3 or 4 songs. After I did pet ocean, which is this song, I have to yell a whole bunch and stuff and that woke my vocal cords up. You know, if I can just get past all that and Practice regularly or something, you know, I’ll probably maybe I can actually have a music career and, you know, my life can get better and in a lot of ways. But like I just don’t think I’ll ever love again. I don’t think I’ll ever have another girlfriend. Or anything like that because I just can’t you know, especially after like all that shit with Brittany. That I think that may have Finished me off As far as Romantic love
And you know, part of me does kind of hate her. But I don’t want, you know, that’s it’s not a it’s just like, okay, thanks. But then I’m kind of holding it out for the fact too. That, uh, you know, maybe I just haven’t met the right person yet and I don’t go out looking so it’s not. I have better things to do.
You know, than than that kind of stuff. I really I just need to focus on getting my music. You know, getting in shape better like maintaining a you know, a pretty Decent level of fitness. And I’ve been slacking this week.
I was O really slacked off last week. Yeah, but uh, Anyways, you know, and trying to be too hard on myself and hate myself or anything, but
Like you know, my life, I might actually get to do some of this stuff that I want, you know, I’m kind of holding out for that, But then It’s like I’m saying, I’ll never be right in the head again because of Because of all that I was just It’s just really, really stupid. But who knows? I really Just miss my kids. I don’t care about a music career when it comes to that, it’s like well I’d rather just Spend more time with my kids. But I also would really like a music career. So
I guess that’s about all. I have to say, I just
Um,
Tired. Now, I’m going to go to sleep. This is usually about the time I fall asleep.
I’m night shift. Yay. Thank you, please.
