8:30 PM
I don’t know if I’m still, the only person at, um, in the house. I hope I am because I just feel like I sound so stupid. Sometimes talking about crap. But I haven’t made a post in over a week. And uh, really I’ve just been Busy going to the gym. And uh, for the last couple of weeks, I kicked it into Overdrive. Well, it’s not really overdriving anymore, it’s normal. Yeah, it’s like, hey, uh, which is built on top of, you know, I’ve been working out regularly for the last few months, but I just decided, Well, it’s time to really start doing it. And that’s what I’ve been doing. So, when I get home, I’m too tired after I eat to really give a fuck about making a blog post and that’s pretty much why I haven’t made a Post and then last weekend I was really busy with the kids.
So, um,
And we worked Saturday. So like it was I just didn’t I was busy living, not laying around, like I am now. I don’t know why. I still have a shit ton of energy. I don’t, but I do. Uh, I didn’t work out as hard tonight as I did last night, but
Maybe, that’s why. Yeah, but I did a whole bunch of shit.
But my body’s gotten.
More used to doing it. And uh, I’m actually starting to bulk up pretty good. It’s like dang. Yeah, I’ve still got a long way to go before, I’m like anywhere close to where I was, you know, 20 years ago.
I guess that’s what I’m kind of going for. Yep.
But I went to Publix and I got a whole chicken and I ate it already and I ate some of the sides. I got to go with it and I got, you know, bread and meat for regular stuff. And I went to GNC and got some other crap because uh, the acid reflux stuff I’ve been having. Started. I think it’s a lot of it is stress related more than anything else. So I was telling the dude about it’s like, well, if you think it’s stress related then try this stuff. So I bought some stuff And then he gave me a free sample of this Protein shit that I’m going to use.
And I’ll probably,
You know, see how that does and then if it’s effective enough, I’m going to buy it. And buy like a big thing of it. And then I’m going to just put on the fucking crap. That’s what I’m going to do. I got to get it.
Uh, yeah. In shape. I need to get in better shape and then, you know, maybe after I’m where I want to be. Uh, there maybe then I can try to, like, find a lady. I don’t know. I went off too far. I think. Talking about that crap because I don’t go into the gym. Before 5:00 because the gym girl is in there and it just freaks me out. It’s It’s because I like her so much. And uh, it’s weird though. It’s a weird mix. Of stuff because I freaked out and ran away from her so many times that I’m just afraid to talk to her. I’m afraid she’s going to be really mean to me, but I love her and it just, it causes me like an insane amount of stress to be anywhere around her. Because I feel really awful that I freaked out and ran away from her because
She’s perfect. You know, she’s like an angel fell from heaven and that’s all I’m going to say about that. It’s like, dang, I was that’s what I went to far talking about. I just went like, Framed up this big crazy backstory. You know why I freak out and run away from the chicks and A lot of it has to do with an ex like the 1 before Stephanie And I don’t want to talk about any of that, it was just, it was that bad and I didn’t freak out and run away from chicks until she happened.
Uh, but it’s like I said, I had uh, 3 girlfriends and a fiance, in a year and a half. Um, so something had to like stop that you know, stop me from being an idiot because that’s where that’s what I was headed for. Like, You know, every 2 or 3 months, I’d have a different girlfriend and that’s it would have just been that over and over and a bunch of shit. And uh, I needed to focus on other things.
And that’s when things really started getting, fun with the kids and interesting and stuff. So in like 2020. And I got that job as a QA and the trauma from That ex girlfriend it made me freak out and run away from my boss my supervisor. Um, because she just, I mean, Gosh, she threw herself at me really, really hard. The first 6 months I worked there. And, uh,
I kept freaking out and running away from her. But then on in hindsight, it would have been a terrible idea. It would have been, it would have ruined everything and it would have even wouldn’t probably even lasted, you know, we probably like she would have been my second ex-wife and that would have been horrible.
And I don’t know what else to say about that. You know, like some stuff that seems really really bad at the time keeps me from doing even more stupid shit, like I think, The whole thing with Brittany that kept me away from it, kept me for a long time away from ladies like because I would have a Brittany episode, I would see a lady like at the Chicken Plants. Uh a couple of years ago that I freaked out and ran away from her. But I didn’t then I started talking to her and then I had this just crazy ass crying episode like, you know, why couldn’t this happened with Brittany why couldn’t I have just talked to her like that boohoo, hoohoo you know. And uh, that kept me from getting mixed up with women who I really didn’t have anything. Any business, you know, getting involved with
It was like something, you know, it was like a
It kept me in check because I have been just so stupid and I’ve gotten a lot better in that regard. But not really though. I mean, yeah, but like what am I trying to say?
Oh, it seems like here lately. I’ve rediscovered my sense of uh Self-worth in. In uh, like when it comes to ladies.
I can still be picky and I don’t have to like I can still have mine Stanley, high standards. There’s nothing wrong with that. And, uh, unless some chick From work is just my Soul, mate or something. I don’t have to. Feel bad about. Not, you know, like freaking out and running away I don’t have to freak out and run away. I can just be like, hey, what’s up, you know, and that’s Yeah, but they come at me, so, much just with their eyeballs and they’re like, hey, you know, and they give me that look and it’s, it freaks me out.
And uh, Especially because a lot of them are, you know, half my age and Any other 46 year old would be like well hell yeah. But I just I don’t know to me it’s
I just really don’t. Want to date anybody under 30? Yeah. I mean it just depends, I don’t know. I just don’t think. I’ve unless I don’t even know what the same thing. Now, I’m going too far talking about it again. It’s really dumb.
Because it doesn’t doesn’t matter. But I feel better about it all. I just, I still freak out about the gym. Girl, I saw her actually, uh, I think it was Monday. She came. Um, walking up the line and I felt something I felt really nervous and like crazy. All of a sudden, I was like, oh my God, what the hell, where is this coming from? And I saw something out of the corner of my eye, and I looked and there and it was her and she passed right by me. And I thought Holy. Shit! That’s what it was. Yeah, because I have freaked out, it’s funny because I’ll start to go into the gym from the locker room and poke my head around the corner. If I see her I jump like all crazy. And immediately Dart back into the locker room and she always sees me. Do it every time anytime I notice her, she looks up real fast and I see her and And it’s like dang, I wonder what that what she thinks about that but then I go in there. You know, and I draw chickens all over everything and she knows, that’s me. And sometimes I have to sign the book because the computer isn’t working to log in and my Handwriting the way I write And everything is just so crazy. And so it’s like, well. My signature is fucking crazy too but I don’t have to, I don’t sign anything. I was just thinking, you know, but it’s like I don’t want her to hate my guts, I guess is my point too, but I can’t deal with interacting with her because I just want to
I just, you know,
Ask her out. Hahahaha
Stop talking about it, you know, God, well, this is another reason I haven’t made a blog post because this is just the same old crap. It’s just, I’ve been, um,
Wearing myself out at the gym. So I haven’t had the energy And that’s pretty much it. I don’t know. I’m still retarded.
Haha
Thank you, please!
