FRIDAYYAY EVENING

6:06 PM
Well, hey, there it’s me. Haha, I’ve been getting a ton of hits on this blog from all over the place. I don’t know how real that is. But uh, You know, I mean,

Is it a VPN or is it like real people from these countries?

You know, um,

Oh my goodness, I said because like

It doesn’t usually get hit like that. I’ve been getting a lot of off hits like articles I posted last year and stuff. People from China and like Hong Kong and Singapore. Places like that, I’ll post some screenshots of it.

So that’s what’s been happening. Yeah. With my blog like my uh I started posting again but it was happening before I started posting again. The last what I’m on, this will be like a 6 day streak, I think.

So like last weekend, I started posting regularly again trying to anyways. Yeah, I mean it helps to get this stuff out of my brains and I was But I was like a broken record there for a minute. And I guess that’s just part of my The Narrative of my life is uh you know, all the other stuff that goes with it, you know. But I have I’m very excited because I have 9 days off in a row and I’m going to

Oh gosh, I had to talk myself seriously out of going out and getting like, Spending money on food. And then I thought well I don’t really want to get out or anything. I want to order a pizza, I’m going to order a Marcos Pizza. Okay, well, There isn’t a Marco surround close enough that delivers so There isn’t a Marcos. Yeah around that’s close enough to deliver so I’m out of their delivery area and I don’t want Dominos. Again I like Marco’s Pizza the best for like You know, that kind of pizza.

But I was about to drop $35 on a pizza and a 2 liter and, uh, it was like, well, you’re out of the delivery area, so that got shot down and then I was looking at boarhogs barbecue, which is just up the road kind of but also the oh my gosh, the absolute best barbecue place around here.

I want to say by far. Yeah, it’s that good. And uh, I just oh, I just don’t want to leave the house. And um what else? There was the El Monte is the uh other Mexican restaurant. They have really really good. Chori pollos.

And of course, I would have went there and got a damn Margarita. I would probably spent 40 bucks And I don’t need to do that. I’ve I spent I got gas and I got some weed gummies and I got some breakfast. I splurged a little bit today because it was the last day. Uh, before the shutdown. And so I let myself spend a little bit of money, but I spent like 40 bucks and I’ve got to like not do that. I’m getting uh,

I don’t know what all I’m going to do, but oh I’m probably going to try to wait until

I can get all the chime stuff like Sunday and then I’m just going to put that right back on my cash app.

I gotta eat this hot dog, though.

That’s what? That’s what happened is, um,

I just decided to eat. I have 1 hot dog left and just enough. Pigmented cheese for that.

Pimento. But I guess you could call it pigmented cheese.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha! Ha, ha, ha. Oh my God.

This app though on this phone, is acting better than it did when I first got this phone because it was the only phone I used. It’s when I had AT&T and I was working at Honda.

Oh my goodness. Everything was so

So,

Anyways, um,

Yeah, it works like the other phone and it picks up, okay now, but when I first put it on this phone, it was horrible. I don’t know what the hell was going on.

Um, anyways.

I had a that hot dog and I lost my train of thought.

I think I was just talking about food.

Yeah anyways um I decided not to get anything and just eat what I have here. Even if it’s just 1 hot dog and I have 2 boiled eggs that I wish I hadn’t have gotten out.

I should have. I’m going to leave them over here though for a little bit if I get hungrier.

Or something. That’s what I thought. I was like 1 hot dog. You know, that’s not going to be enough but it’s fine. Yeah, I’ve been. I’ve been eating too much crap lately and uh,

I don’t really have the money, you know, I don’t need to spend the money, so it’s like well. I eat good all the time. Anyways, I’ve actually, this is the heaviest I’ve been in uh, since 2015, when I tried to kill myself drinking tequila and eating hamburgers, it was really stupid. But Uh, I was on medication. It was like this absurd artistic statement. I had it all in my head. It was really, really like almost did it though. I fucked up my liver, really, really bad. It was like, I had to be on medication for it. I had to quit drinking. I quit drinking like cold turkey for a long time until 1 of my friends died. And then I got a DUI. And uh, gosh, I don’t know everything.

I’m not going to reach back there and uh, my point though, is that I got up to like 280 pounds, almost 300 pounds, And I never weighed that much like, anywhere, close to that before ever. And it was just garbage. And uh, but I’m the heaviest.

Now. That I’ve been since then. It’s it’s uh yeah, it was a really weird time.

The whole 2010 decade was kind of, uh,

Sometimes it doesn’t seem like that ever happened, but it did. It’s like I lost about 10 years there, you know?

Um but really what happened was the divorce and it’s just blacked out. My brain was so traumatized and or mind or whatever and that it blacked out a lot of stuff from that decade. Because, you know, it was my best memories. Up until the divorce were, with my ex-wife, and the kids and the dogs. And she was such

A huge part. She was actually, she was the part. She was my Entire universe. It’s so crazy to think about

Like, and then after the divorce, it was like like waking up from a really vivid, intense crazy dream. And, uh, now, you know, it just feels like it’s always been the way it’s been but knowing that, you know, we were together for 18 years and

Uh, Just so much. And I loved her so much. I remember when we got married and this is what I’m talking about, this is why I stopped making blog posts though for a while haha, I was so happy that I just bounced, I was bouncing around. I was so fucking happy and, uh, when you know, she, she was pregnant with our daughter. I was just so just about it and accommodating, and

You know, when she, uh, went into labor, like, I freaked out and drove her to the hospital. Uh, I came home From Athens, we were all the way up in Athens on a Sunday haha doing a generator service when she called me and was like hey you need to come get me and take me to the hospital and Athens was 2 hours away from my house in Martling. And it took me an hour to get there. That’s how fast I drove. It was nuts. I went completely nuts. And, I got her back. I got home. Got her and got back up to the Huntsville Hospital. In about 30 minutes. I just I mean oh my gosh it was so

So fast. I drove so fast and I didn’t care. It was like, I just warped through time and space. I did not do the same thing with my son because he was induced. But um, I just remember like I just gosh, I was so happy and scared and nervous and then when she came out I was just oh, that was the happiest I ever was.

And all those memories and everything. It’s It’s really hard to, to relive all that and also Because for me, it was never supposed to be over like her and I were supposed to share this.

Whole entire universe together for eternity and she didn’t look at it that way obviously. And that’s what you know, in a nutshell. That’s what fucked me up. So bad. It’s like what it was more than an apocalypse. It was like,

Who was the end of everything? Like of Eternity. It was just everything. Just disintegrated. That’s a yeah. Disintegrated, I don’t know. I just never recovered. Like I’ve never I don’t know how I mean that’s what’s wrong with me? It’s really crazy. It’s you know only me though, you know, like anybody else would just be like, yeah, that woman, you know? Like hell yeah we got divorced. We were together for a long time and But I loved her. More than anything and I’ll never be able to tell another woman that I love her more than anything. Like that’ll never happen because I’ll never love anybody more than I love the kids. But for about what when it, You know for about 11 years, I loved Her more than anything, the whole like I could have done anything else with my life. It’s just, I loved her, it was crazy. How the the You know, for me anyways, I couldn’t imagine life without her and I didn’t want to. I mean there was sometimes it was hard.

And there were a few times that I met. Ladies that I thought, you know, I might actually make better Partners but I loved her so much. I didn’t really, you know, I didn’t seriously entertain any of that.

Just like, dang she

I don’t want to talk like gosh, I sure did just end up going off on a rant about that, didn’t I? Yeah. Gosh, yeah, yep. I’m so like

Happy to be off for 9 days in a row though. Well what am I going to do? I’m not exhausted tired because I had a pretty easy day as far as like my processes and stuff go.

I got to do the easiest process twice. Uh I got to end on it and I slammed an energy drink at the last quarter which sometimes I drink 1 before the shift starts and then 1 after lunch but The last few days I’ve been waiting until the last quarter to drink it and yesterday when I got home, I was so exhausted. I just passed out at like 6. And woke up at 10:30, and I don’t know. Some reason I’m not that tired right now, so I mean, I’m not I probably because it’s Friday. And I know I can just stay up and and sleep till whenever, and I’m going to be on night shift though. That’s the fun part. When uh we go back to work Monday next. Not this Monday. Yeah it’s next Monday. So it’s like I’m gonna have 9 and a half days. It’s really great and I need to rest. My body needs the rest. But I’m going to hopefully make some extra few hundred dollars helpingbmy old house, remodeling boss and Eric which you know that’s Eric’s dad.

Eric’s mom died. I didn’t I didn’t talk about that. Have I talked about that in anything? Oh its just. Oh my gosh. I couldn’t believe that happened and it’s been

6:24 PM
Seems like it’s been about a month ago or so.

Yeah, anyways.

Oh,

Oh crap. That’s not what I was going to do. I got on uh, Facebook. I was going to look and see when that happened because his cousin posted about it. I’m friends with and uh,

She posts so much, though.

How far back am I gonna have to scroll?

Let’s see. Was it a photo?

Hello. Okay, yeah, I want to uh I went to his uncle’s page.

Oh my gosh, I just started crying to scroll back. I guess it’s been a little over a month ago and uh

Dang, this was harder to talk about than I thought. Anyways, yeah, she was just like my second mom.

Like they were uh Eric is the closest thing I have to a brother and his parents were like practically my second parents.

Oh my God I would have been in like So much worse, shape, the first 3 years after the divorce, if it hadn’t been for David and Sue Ford,

Like oh my goodness. They just they don’t make people better than them and I can’t believe she died. It’s like

Unbelievable. And it’s going to be, you know, because I moved all the way up here to Huntsville and I don’t really talk to people that much anymore. You know. It’s just People, I talk to the most by far are my kids, you know, and anything outside of that. I mean my roommates and my co-workers but I don’t talk to anybody, you know, really even on a regular basis. I have to like think about somebody and then I’ll message them and ask how they’re doing. But, uh, I don’t know, I just figured she would live to be at least 70 or 80, something she was in her. I think she was 66 65, Maybe, Yeah, she was 65. She was born in 1960 and her birthday is in August.

But just the, I mean, the best people and some of the best cooking I ever had ate, you know, it came from her kitchen. It’s like she was just I wish I had parents like that.

That’s it’s kind of a crazy thing, you know, like, I just

You would have to know, Eric, I guess. But it’s like dang dude. That’s you know, I mean, I get that like his dad was a super hard ass.

Like my dad, but like they’re not, they are not crazy. My parents are fucking crazy. They were, you know, like his parents are awesome.

Uh, but I mean, I just, I don’t know, you know, I mean things don’t work out like that, but God, I wish my parents would have been like, normal like that. Like, yeah, they were still married. They loved each other. You know, like my dad, my dad cheated on my mom, all the fucking time and my mom tried to kill him a few times actually, you know, with a knife. I remember waking up 1 morning. At like 2 or 3 am. I was really really little. I think I was like 4. If I was even that old I might have been like 3 years. It it I don’t remember but she was chasing him around the living room with a big like kitchen knife and he like was moving furniture in front of her trying to block her And uh,

Fucking finally, like, got her like, the the couch, a couch, or something and got out the door and ran out. And, uh, I just started crying and ran to my room and my mom was like you know it’s like a it was just really crazy and she was embarrassed and crying and I didn’t really understand what all that was about at the time but that’s probably he probably she probably caught him cheating. Haha yeah

You know, I mean he did and he didn’t give a shit either and he treated her like fucking crap. And he was, Gone all the time and just, you know, and

He was kind of a bully to me, and Mom would put stuff in his food to make him sick. Crazy shit like that

I don’t know, my dad was kind of just, you know, I don’t know, but the my point being is uh,

Gosh, Eric’s parents are just the best people ever and then she, you know,

But they came from a really good family like their uh their whole family, the whole of them’s and uh the I guess I’m going to have to type that in. The Holcombs They’re just all the best people ever. Like, I couldn’t believe what a great family Eric came from. My families are fucking crazy. Both sides of my family. Like my grandpa used to, execute My like my mom and her, my aunts and uncles like As punishment, he would execute their pets in front of them. And fucking like crazy stuff like that. And uh, my dad’s dad was just an insane drunk. Just like a wild animal is what they had described him, as sometimes he was like just a fucking demon, you know? And, Eric’s family are

Really good, just decent down-to-earth, hardworking people like As good as people can be made. And it’s, you know, It’s just crazy because I got to kind of know all of them. From doing house remodeling and uh, from living in that farm house. The fact that I even got to live in that house Is a testament to how awesome Eric’s family, both sides of his family are Um, you know, I met some of, uh, like his dad’s side of the family, but most of his mom’s side of the family, are the ones that I, um,

That I was around a lot. Those 3 years, I lived in The Farmhouse and then like what 2024? I guess. Yeah.

Mostly though like yeah, 20, uh, 18 through like 2021. Anyways, I was just thinking like, Because both my you know my family is like and and 1 of my uncles got kidnapped in Africa and held for ransom you know, twice he worked. He was a foreman and this big construction project for Halliburton and they paid his Ransom both times. Like that’s my family, you know.

Uh it’s just it’s just a big crazy difference and then Eric to just be the way he is, and I I’m not just I’m not going to go off about that I love Eric so much but his dad’s like the most Hard working, badass. He’s the toughest civilian I ever met. You know, it’s just like Dang. But they restored my faith in like Humanity, like people like just you know, that there’s really, really great people and they’re everywhere. And uh, she was, you know, his mom was the uh like the

The best 1 out of all of them, you know?

She sure was

Yeah, so anyways it’s gonna be you know, it’s I’m gonna like have to go over there and it’s probably gonna I’m probably gonna get all choked up and stuff.

Hello. Yeah, I can’t imagine what his dad is dealing with like losing her. I’m like I could not imagine like, you know I think the divorce that was a bad thing but like if me and her had not divorced and we were in our 60s, and then she just all of a sudden died what that would be like. Oh my gosh,

Yeah. It’s uh, dang. You know, it’s just I was thinking about all that. I’m I’m like half. Having to stop because I’m crying. You know she just Gosh, she was just so great. She was the best mom of any of my friends. Like by far, Yeah, gosh. Oh my gosh.

And she always put other people first.

You know, not not Everybody does that? Yep, that’s like I’m have I’m, I’m trying not to just have like a come apart crying about it.

Dang. Well, anyways, yeah. Uh But that’s what I’m going to do for a couple days, just help them. I’m hopefully make a little bit of extra money and then I get paid Wednesday and I’m hoping everything will work out, so I can pay that my cash app loan and then reborrow it, and then I should have plenty of money. Uh, to do stuff with the kids, but not, until Wednesday, and it sucks because I wish that

I could get them this weekend. I miss my kids so much. So very, very, very much but my daughter has banned cap, uh, band camp. Yeah, next week and uh, So, I can’t get them until Friday like, for the weekend, anyways.

And I’m going to work on music. And I’m going to work on music and I’m going to exercise. I’m going to go walk in which I might go actually. No, I’m not going to do that here in a minute. I’m going to rest.

I’m going to clean out, you know, clean up my room. I got to clean all this up because I’m moving it out and And what? Like 5 days. And I’m Really Gonna Miss. I’m gonna Really Gonna. Yeah, I’m really gonna miss the roommate. That’s moving out. She was

She really helped me a lot.

She did. But I think the way she talked she’ll be a lot happier where she’s going and, uh, I don’t know. Um,

It’ll be nice to have my old room back and, you know, I can keep my kids in there, the kids can stay here in there, you know, it’s it’s different when uh, you know like when I tried to keep them over here before when we were all kind of Crammed into the living room in the middle of everything. And it’s really not fair to the other roommates. To anybody, you know? I mean, my kids and me were a lot, you know, we’re a lot of people. I’m a lot of person and my kids are like that much more. But I miss them so much. And they were messaging me earlier today, telling me how much they missed me. Like, when are you getting this Dad? And it made me. It made me cry. Yeah, I did. I hate being this far away from the kids. I hate not being able to just You know. Up and go get them for like when I was in Albertville and I could do that pretty easily.

Oh crap, you know I’m just like going all over the place with this post. This is a long post. I haven’t made a post a long post like this in a while but I just can’t believe I’ve got all this time off and I have like kind of a loose plan of how I’m going to spend it.

But tomorrow morning, I’m probably going to get up. And walk down to 5 Points. I might get me like a biscuit from Hardies or something.

I don’t know, that’s kind of a skank hole Hardies but I used to go there all the time when I was dating that chick up here, Who gets into my brain sometimes and then she goes away and then it’s like, well, you know,

I used to get her a chicken biscuit with a thing of gravy that she would dip the biscuit in the gravy. I loved her so fucking much though. I did. Oh my God. I loved her so much. She was my favorite girlfriend ever.

Like she was like, Oh my gosh, and she wasn’t a psycho or anything and just A lot of it was the time and The timing, like, if I would have met her like Now. Or like in within the last, you know, year or so it would totally been different. Like if I would have met her

6:44 PM
When I first moved up here or something like that, you know. Oh gosh. That’s the third time stamp. Yeah. Like I don’t know that I’ll ever even see her again or anything like that, but

She’s the only 1 I would ever entertain, like the idea of getting back together with and I don’t know that that would be a good idea, but

Uh,

Gosh. She sure was though. She was my favorite 1 and I am totally romanticizing it. There’s She drove me nuts too, you know? But um,

I don’t know. She was 28 then and she’s 35 now. Yep, it’s hard to believe it was 7 years ago, but uh, Yeah. Gosh you know and that’s when I was doing house remodeling full-time too. In 2019 and Oh gosh, we would like break for lunch a lot of times and go eat at my boss’s house and uh His wife would cook.

Lunch. And it would just be the best fucking stuff ever. The last time I really ate over there, I think was uh well, that wasn’t the last time.

1 time though that I ate over there, I think was like the winter of 2024 Sometime in December. Uh, he had me do a bunch of stuff helped him, do a bunch of stuff like Trim the living room and she cooked this chicken soup with jalepeno cornbread. And I ate like 4 bowls of that I couldn’t move. I barely could drive home after eating all that and I passed out. I slept for like 10 hours straight. Yeah. Like it was you know, Gosh.

But uh, yeah, I remember like back then, it was

You know, we got to eat pretty good.

She would make chicken salad sandwiches anything. She made was awesome. Sometimes she, I mean, she would just grill out, hot dogs and hamburgers and she made the stuff called Cracker salad. It was like crackers and like peppers and some other stuff. I can’t remember all what was in it, but it was the best stuff ever. And uh,

Gosh. Yeah. Uh she made chicken and chiladas. That were the best things ever chicken enchiladas? Yeah.

Gosh, I was just thinking about all that. That was a really.

Like a big crazy time in my life, like 2018 and 19 2020 and 2021

I’m just fucking gosh. It’s you know I guess I’m going to wrap this up. And uh,

Spaced out for a Wallace. Can I take me an hour to edit this? Yeah, spaced out for a while. It’s going to take, I’m going to space out for a while and it’s probably going to take me about an hour to edit this. Jesus help.

Thank you, please.